hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21117 Approved Quotes | 3 in Moderation Queue
#59312 [ + | - ] 1537
<Kristy> i remember new years eve, 2000, everyone had their
computers off because they were afraid they would blow up
cause of y2k, and my boyfriend was begging me to have sex with
him. and i was like "look at my ping! i am not going to get a
70 ping any other night! go watch tv and stop interrupting my
tribes!!"
#59311 [ + | - ] 122
<|404notfound> I'm angsty. I'm plenty angsty.
<|404notfound> I'm so angsty I make goths look like bright,
happy rays of sunshine.
#59292 [ + | - ] 1236
<The-Dude-> i had a best friend..he gotta GF..we hated each
other..2 years later we were having DNS tests done for the
kids father...
<Kaenneth> ... DNS tests?... to see if you have a common root
domain?
<Kaenneth> "Both parents were from aol.com... retardation was
inevitable"
#59262 [ + | - ] 206
·sh|a|tter· Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at
the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down
the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5
submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then
all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy
loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot
sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore
fetish gayporn.
·sh|a|tter· man my mom started crying and now she thinks im
gay... it owns
c4c|Dthsmrf{wiz3rk}  ROFLMAO!
#59256 [ + | - ] -276
* ChanServ (ChanServ@Services.GamesNET.net) Quit (*.net
*.split)
<DopefishJustin> damn chanserv
<DopefishJustin> they should rename it NegroServ because it
never works
#59248 [ + | - ] 467
*** Laney has joined #everything
<Laney> hi.
<turboke> lo.
<ninjapenguin> in the middle
#59243 [ + | - ] 620
<r-beretta> wow, rape porn pop-ups.
<r-beretta> that's a first
<[Knob]> ever got incest pop-ups?
<r-beretta> yes, incest is common for me
<r-beretta> IN THE POP-UPS I MEAN
#59225 [ + | - ] 19
* marc_ (marc@nullrewted.org) has joined #nullrewted
* marc_ (marc@nullrewted.org) Quit (Killed (marc_ (ghost)))
* marc_ (marc@nullrewted.org) has joined #nullrewted
<marc_> damnit wrong one
* marc (marc@nullrewted.org) Quit (Killed (marc_ (ghost)))
#59202 [ + | - ] 235
<Ecko24> yo does anyone have a driver for an ethernet cable?
#59195 [ + | - ] 409
<nersh> someone said the sexiest part of a woman is her
mind... lol
<nersh> i can understand lying about that in front of girls
<nersh> but why do it on the internet
#59175 [ + | - ] 161
<MudBlud> when i do cp mIRC /home/mudblud/mirc why does it say
ommitting: mIRC
<Cheez> because using mirc on *nix is a sin
#59170 [ + | - ] 506
<Goo> ok when i think to myself "the nazis are coming, protect
the churches" in a 17th century english accent, it's time to
go to bed
#59161 [ + | - ] 4
<Monte`SS`> what?
<Monte`SS`> i'm curious
<pagan> so are homosexuals
<pagan> :(
<Monte`SS`> haha
#59145 [ + | - ] 187
<+m1g> anyone know where i can find the win9X DDK ?
<@tenfour> yeah
<@tenfour> 1998
#59132 [ + | - ] 319
<KeeperX> i have my time machine built into a '67 el camino
<TrueBlue> The front is like a car!
<TrueBlue> The back is like a truck!
<TrueBlue> The front is where we sit!
<TrueBlue> The back is where we... EL CAMINO!
#59120 [ + | - ] 286
<sgamer> man
<sgamer> i know how pepsi can beat coke
<NookieMonster> Hey Gamer!
<sgamer> they need to get britney dumbass again
<NookieMonster> by tasting better?
<sgamer> and they need a commercial
<sgamer> during the super bowl
<sgamer> at the hottest part of the super bowl
<NookieMonster> Britney with no panties...
<sgamer> and she does this:
<sgamer> takes a drink
<sgamer> *ahhh*
<sgamer> then says "oh yeah, i swallow"
<sgamer> then keeps drinking
<sgamer> fade to pepsi logo, fin
<NookieMonster> Thats great!!
<sgamer> i am an advertising genius
#59104 [ + | - ] -79
<Squanky> I hope they gave me the right CPU because I paid
$350 for it
#59091 [ + | - ] 192
<Mansion_Maniac> 3 types of people on the internet = convinced
they're ugly, convinced they're life has no meaning, and
convinced they could kick your ass despite they don't know
jack about you
#59086 [ + | - ] 35
RetardedCrow: I'm listening to a song called "Back of the
bus."
RetardedCrow: Sung by black rappers.
Esotcalag: Oh god....
RetardedCrow: And they yell at us when we call them niggers,
wtf?
RetardedCrow: Oh, I'm sorry, 'Niggas.'
RetardedCrow: Fucking crackas.
Esotcalag: I find it ironic that despite the issue that was
during the sixties, most black kids always seems to flock to
the back of the bus.
RetardedCrow: They still do...
RetardedCrow: I guess habbits are hard to break.
#59084 [ + | - ] 144
<onelove--> i was going to use the holidays to get some booty
from my exgirlfriend
<onelove--> but she's on this big christian kick
<onelove--> complete with no sex before marriage
<onelove--> so i guess there's no reason in talking to her
anymore
#59078 [ + | - ] 135
<Riz> if Ron Jeremy dies I'm gonna put in a request for a
"organ" donation
#59062 [ + | - ] 1341
<X5> do what horny college idiot men do every night, hump park
benches!
<smackfoo> last time i humped a park bench i was late into my
teens
<smackfoo> it was a quiet, peaceful night in hyde park
<smackfoo> the bums had all been incinerated in an unfortunate
event with the department of water and power
<smackfoo> i stepped up to a cute little wood number, couldn't
have been older than 17
<smackfoo> i rubbed her thighs...er...handles, and she cooed
in the moonlight
<smackfoo> fearing splinters, i gently waxed her humps, making
sure to remove any hint of sharpness
<smackfoo> slowly, gently, i removed my pants...
<smackfoo> um
<smackfoo> you guys know the rest
<Cithorn> Keep going
<Cithorn> I'm not done yet
#59057 [ + | - ] 341
<markogogo> I once had a dream that there was a huge join
flood here. And I kept screwing up when trying to set the mode
+i. :/
<Kel> geek nightmares
#59054 [ + | - ] 1025
<Cithorn> Right now.... I'm killing you with my mind
<Cithorn> Tell me if you die
<AntiarcPrime> If  I'm dead, I can't
typ........asdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
* AntiarcPrime dies
<AntiarcPrime> [ Restore from last save point? ] (Yes/No)
<AntiarcPrime> Yes
* AntiarcPrime respawns
<Cithorn> Aww sunova bitch, now I know what it's like to be a
Final Fantasy Villain
#59027 [ + | - ] -152
<biXen> LMAO, I got kicked from DC because of animal porn?
WTF?
<biXen> I dont have any animal porn!
<biXen> well I guess for some people movies that has black
guys in them, they can go as animals
#59018 [ + | - ] 241
<PhD> i got woken up by a freakin woodpecker today
<PhD> i thought someone was knocking :-(
<Katlizy> doesnt every guy get one of those in the morning?
#58999 [ + | - ] 278
<Ishtar-AFK> during chinese new years... they give redpockets
filled with money
<Ishtar-AFK> for good luck or something, but the important
part is cash
<SiWaRD> you're chinese?
<SiWaRD> I thought you were Korean
<Ishtar-AFK> i'm chinese
<Ishtar-AFK> wtf
<Ishtar-AFK> when i go back to visit my grandparents... they
say i dont follow traditions
* sweeps starts thinking up racial slurs
<sweeps> when i go back to visit my grandparents... they say i
dont follow traditions <- you mean communism?
<SiWaRD> do your grandparents know martial arts?
<sweeps> do they fly?
#58997 [ + | - ] 636
<Peter> My brother got a $1500 car deck for $6.58 today.
<kaliyama> Was that the cost of the crowbar and ski mask?
#58995 [ + | - ] 61
<Rackshack-GregM> got my first DVD-A on Tuesday
<RS-Andrew> dvd-a? double vaginal double anal?
<Rackshack-GregM> hah
<Rackshack-GregM> DVD Audio
#58970 [ + | - ] 457
<Mich> do you call a drinking fountain thing a water fountain
or a bubbler?
<Mystiq> who the fuck would call it a bubbler
<Mich> it must be a regional thing
<Mich> everyone here says bubbler
<Mystiq> yeah well your state voted bush
#58967 [ + | - ] 130
<The_Snowman> but as always, the kids got a ton of gifts.... :
/
<The_Snowman> we've spent all day clearing out their room to
get room for all the new shi.... toys
<Scarebear> We did the same thing yesterday.  They got heaps!
Yesterday was cleanup day
<The_Snowman> im really thinking of kick/banning grandparents
from #xmas :/
#58965 [ + | - ] 684
* jesus takes off your pants.
* Sexypants is now known as Sexy
<jesus> rawr
<Sexy> jesus took off my pants
<Kitsa> the lord works in mysterious ways
#58963 [ + | - ] 142
(XengeL|MakingAnimeVideos): omfg
(XengeL|MakingAnimeVideos): whose good with windows paint
program?
(nemesis): omfg
(nemesis): who isnt?
#58951 [ + | - ] 296
Lukerul1: my mom got a laptop, she opened it up, and was
looking at it, and asked what it was
Lukerul1: i wanted to cry
#58923 [ + | - ] 355
<Shadoe> baby collars
<Shadoe> hahaha
<Shadoe> "here baby baby" *yank*
<Shadoe> <---- should not have children.
#58910 [ + | - ] 199
<+DangerMan> I liked cold weather a lot better when I was fat
<bmwii> ya, an extra 30 pounds helps through the winter =)
<+ZombiEater> ..or a jacket
#58901 [ + | - ] 197
<@Shadoe> I don't want to have sex with you
<@Shadoe> EVAR
<Vladimere> yeah yeah
<Vladimere> i've heard it before
<Vladimere> that's what they all say, and then they end up
staring at the headboard
<@Shadoe> yeah, going "jesus christ when will it end"
#58894 [ + | - ] 993
<GamespitterZ420> i wanted to know why your name is blue and
why it has an @in front of it?
<@Shadoe> I'm a fucking smurf with a tumor
<GamespitterZ420> damn sorry dude my condolences
#58871 [ + | - ] 283
<Agent> [02:02] * king_away is back from Sex0ring my HAND :D.
I was gone for 18secs
<Agent> You should see a doctor about that.
<Agent> 18 secs?!
<king_minkus> :D
<king_minkus> yep
<king_minkus> my hand is good
<king_minkus> DAMN good
<Agent> I'll uh... take your word for it :)
<Silent_Remorse> 18 secs? Your pathetic
<Silent_Remorse> ;p
<king_minkus> i repeat
<king_minkus> my hand is good
<Silent_Remorse> I pity the woman who you eventually trick
into having sex with you
#58869 [ + | - ] 470
<sCoTTiii> is there actually any nice gurls in here, who dont
put out, and arnt sluts and are over 16 ? lol, msg me man
<My`Albanian`Ass> opposite to that, msg me :)
#58860 [ + | - ] 171
<Lithium> if i buy a hardware firewall right - i just stick it
on, tell it to block all ports - tada
<Lithium> easy peasy
<stephen> all ports?
<Lithium> i aint got time to arse about isntalling software
firewalls on every machine
<Lithium> i tried before
<Noodle> there's an easier and cheaper way to block all ports
<Noodle> pull the RJ45 out :P
#58858 [ + | - ] 1804
<domenow> I'm gripping your cock hard
<ThAtGuy> i'm feeling your breasts
<ThAtGuy> my dick is getting really hard now
<domenow> yeah, mine too
<domenow> I mean... err.
#58852 [ + | - ] 233
<Donut[4]> DEFRAG TIME
<_ry0suke_> deFAG
* Donut[4] has quit IRC (Quit: DEFRAG IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN
EVERYONE)
* Donut has joined #walktheplank
<Donut> HEY WAIT
<Donut> F U =(
* Donut has quit IRC (Quit: )
<_ry0suke_> :(
#58846 [ + | - ] 710
<TheThree> your special?
<Mj> you're
<TheThree> sorry my grammer sucks
<Mj> grammar
<TheThree> as dose my spelling
<Mj> does
<TheThree> i give up
#58844 [ + | - ] 408
SquallBane: True gamers don't need controllers/keyboards/mice.
SquallBane: They memorize the game and play it in their head.
blindpyro: wtf.
blindpyro: then how do you play mulplayer.
SquallBane: You get three friends to sit in the same room and
rattle off verbose descriptions of what's happening.
#58832 [ + | - ] 192
<likwid8> anyone know where I can get the ABC special on how
hackers get movies for free?
#58831 [ + | - ] 121
<jre> http://www.toronto.com/feature/344/  "The cemetery's
roots date back to the Primitive Methodists."
<jre> Primitive Methodists
<AFRICAN_THUNDER> so in other words 1967
#58825 [ + | - ] 283
tom: I deep throated a banana once
tom: I'm good at it
tom: all the girls in class looked at me funny tho
#58815 [ + | - ] 78
<NateDog> HH, I'd accept a blowjob from anyone as long as they
didn't have herpes or some other mouth disease
<`Syntax> Nate would accept a blowjob from *!*@*
#58801 [ + | - ] 12
<jre> WHAT?  They pulled the teeth out POST-MORTEM?
<jre> What losers
<jre> The Nazis have just lost so much respect from me