RadioMatthew: LimeWire is like committing a solo crime. RadioMatthew: Torrenting is like being a part of the mafia.
crwuidth: It's going to be hilarious if i ever live long enough to have grandchildren. crwuidth: "Wait, Gramps, so you guys used to drink ethyl alcohol? Isn't that what's in jet fuel?" "Yep. Great stuff, that. Shame they banned it when the synthetic stuff got made." "Wasn't it bad for you, drinking jet fuel?" "Made you feel like hell the next morning if you got hold of too much, that's for sure." crwuidth: they may be psychics and cyborgs and shit, but we are going to be hardcore in ways our grandkids could never dream of being.
<third_planet> The other night my friend had some pot and wanted me to smoke it with him, but we had nowhere to smoke it because both our parents were home. <third-planet> So we drove around looking for a place to park so we could smoke in the car. <third-planet> We eventually settled on a Wendys parking lot.. <Mr-Butlertron> The logic is all there... <third-planet> I know, it was a ridiculous idea. We were just desperate and that was the first place to pull off.. <third-planet> So we park in the back of the parking lot under this tree, and it's dark out, so we figure we're secluded enough. We start to light up and a cop pulls in. So we both sit really still and hope the cop will think the car is empty and just parked there. Or that he won't notice. <third-planet> The cop circles the parking lot once, then parks behind us and we're both freaking out. So Bobby, my friend, takes all the pot and shoves it in the glove compartment. But the car smells like pot, so we figure we're busted. <third-planet> So Bobby says we've gotta distract the cop from the pot. In a huge flash, he rips his shirt off, undoes my pants and sticks his hand inside. Before I can process what's happening, the cop knocks on my window. Then he looks in and sees Bobby shirtless, with his hand down my pants and turns bright red. <third-planet> I roll my window down and the cop says in this really flustered voice, his face bright red, "you guys be good now" and walks quickly back to his car and drives off. <third-planet> He didn't even notice the smell of pot. <third-planet> We drove home in the most uncomfortable fucking silence ever.
<xchlathx> "Dumbledore returns from the dead and declares it to be hammertime, Harry proceeds to break it down, Voldemort is unable to touch this."
grosslack: Hell is a place of everlasting damnation and fire. locokamil: Your belief system is thermodynamically unsound.
<Duskmon> It must have blown to be one of the first outsiders to convert to Christianity. <Duskmon> Like, you're reading through the Bible for the first time, and then a bunch of Hebrews burst into your Church shouting "CAIN KILLS ABEL IN GENESIS FOUR VERSE EIGHT!"
< esper> you are being monitored * esper throws a CRT. < fenrir> Your father's LCD monitor... an elegant weapon, for a more civilized age
<Tal> Psh <Tal> Our chem teacher said it didn't really matter how we titled the graphs and tables in our semester prac <Tal> but i still lost marks for having a Table of +2 Undead Slaying and Graph of Destiny :(
<Belial`> you still cant say anything with certainty though <Belial`> since the bible has like, a fucking black hole between jesus being a kid and his preaching days <Catoptromancy> Phase 1, birth <Catoptromancy> Phase 2, ??? <Catoptromancy> Phase 3, Prophet
soulmata: i wish i could get rid of my nuthair permanently Caffeine_: get the laser hair removal soulmata: sure lets point a laser at my cock
bitshifted: i just dropped a macbook power supply on my foot... and all my mother could think to do was quote that commerical where PC trips over his power cord and breaks his leg and Mac is fine because his has a smooooth disconnection bitshifted: hi, i'm a linux box, and i... i can't feel my toes :(
<Aurin> Which reminds me of a tragic event that happened to me yesterday in a second-hand store <Aurin> I found this Pikachu-suit intended for kids, but I swear it looked like I could wear it <Aurin> So I take it with me and go to see if it would fit <Rhys> and it turns out it has detachable buttflaps for anal sex? <Aurin> Well, the rooms in second-hand stores are just like a corner behind a curtain <Aurin> I tried it on and noticed it was too small <Aurin> And it looked horribly, HORRIBLY wrong <Aurin> Going in my butt and the sorts :< <Rhys> pika g string <Rhys> ^^;; <Rhys> electric sex..? <Aurin> Well, I was giggling at myself when I hear the voice of a shopping trolley, coming closer <Aurin> *sound <Nevada> haha <Aurin> Then a voice of an old lady asking "IS ANYBODY THERE?!?" <Aurin> And the curtain is ripped open <Aurin> That was the most humble moment in my entire lifetime.
<michaelbunnyexclusivedazzo2004> good if you like to asked me anything pleazse feel free to asked ok? i have noi oproblem with communitcating <michaelbunnyexclusivedazzo2004> with othere's here <Cid> ...I think that's a matter of opinion.
<Macko> helping out another customer with pc problems on the phone again today <Macko> after he gave me his specs i told him "hold on for a second" <Macko> three seconds later he's like, "ok, that turned my computer off"
Trey: for some reason IE is throwing a SHIT-FIT about where
I'm using
document.getElementById("displayBoardSelector").innerHTML =
html;
what the hell. explain your stupid browser.
Dakk12: did you properly light your incense?
Dakk12: in what order did you do the chant and throw the
chicken bones?
<obm>If they make a Nano Iphone, I may be interested. <obm>oh, or an iphone shuffle, no screen and it phones random people
<@Thrawn> They did a test in our local riot police lately <@Thrawn> You know, the one where you have to put creatively shaped wooden pegs in corresponding holes <@Thrawn> Turns out they have 2 kinds of persons in our riot police <@Thrawn> Very stupid persons <@Thrawn> And very strong persons
tedivm: bush is having a colonoscopy on saturday so cheney is president for the day menzoberranzan31: they are looking for his head
<M> Almost got smacked today - saw a bright green truck and said, "Hey, look, it's Optimus Lime."
<Hara> The old USSR had one single time zone too. They had a hammer and sickle in the ground near the Kremlin and used it like a sundial. <Hara> Arguments raged for years as to what to call the timezone <Hara> Moscow Time? <Hara> Comrade Time? <Hara> In the end they all agreed. <Hara> Hammer Time.
<sano_> argh <sano_> i just wrote a backup script <sano_> and then i overwrote it <sano_> and i dont have a backup of it
<peer`> I cut off gummy bear heads and put them over the LED's on my keybaord <peer`> now I have glowing gummy bear heads
<Garf> Wikipedia! you go to look up a CSS term.. <Garf> and you end up reading about Spanish painters and astronaut micrometeorite protection <Liquid> tabbed browsing will be the death of the human race
* lloy0076 ponders < lloy0076> If I take the source code, which is under GPLv2, and translate it from C to Perl (changing it only to fit the new language)...I wonder if the GPL covers that translation I made... < cafuego> converting C to perl is covered by the death penalty, i believe
gazz: A bullet may have your name on it, but shrapnel is addressed "to whom it may concern".
<Sniffer> fucking emos' <KFAD> Emoses? <KFAD> Was he the one who parted the binary seas?
FrmShft:i got annoyed at myspace today for trying to tell me about fantastic new job opportunities in my area, which happened to be a zipcode off FrmShft:thinking to short out its idiot-circuits, i told it i was interested in "prostitution" in kansas FrmShft:i cried when it came back with 12 different listings for "web designer"
<@Aaron> It's really simple to watch a move, just open the
console, and type "
<@Aaron> ffmpeg -i "$(find ~/.mozilla -regex '.*Cache.*' -a
-not -regex \
<@Aaron> '.*_CACHE_.*' -printf '%T+ %p\n' | \
<@Aaron> sort -n | awk '{ print $2 }' | xargs file | \
<@Aaron> grep -i "Video" | tail -1 | awk -F : '{ print $1 }
')" \
<@Aaron> -vcodec msmpeg4v2 -b 200 -ab 64 -ar 22050 -s
320x240 \
<@Aaron> /tmp/video.avi
<@Aaron> ANYONE CAN DO IT
<EvilKosh> holy shit. he's blending the iphone while it's playing will it blend. that's so meta. <jdk> does anything not blend? <EvilKosh> Jews and Palestinians
evilada: agh, i'm watching this jesus camp documentary and it's horrible. evilada: i want to burn down a church pnkfloyd: woah woah woah pnkfloyd: Hold on there pnkfloyd: wait for me
<Mercestes> ...omg, that reminds me...I made a faux pas at work..:( <Mercestes> My boss was talking about this new "religious video game." (he's catholic). <Mercestes> and I went off on a tangent and I was like, "oh...wow, what happens when you lose?" <Mercestes> and he turned his back and I threw out my arms like I was on a cross and went "Game Over!" <Mercestes> and my other co=workers were like, "OMG! I forbid you to do that ever again!" and he turned back around and went "what'd I miss?" <Mercestes> no one would tell him. <Mercestes> and then when it got quiet, I went "Continue?" and everyone started laughing again.
<Sapient> hey guys <Westovski> Hey Sap, wanna do a knock-knock joke? <Sapient> err, ok <Westovski> you start <Sapient> k <Sapient> knock knock <Westovski> who's there? <Sapient> ...
<RobertDylan> "Physics is to math as sex is to masturbation" <zwei> i am so much better at math than physics <zwei> wait <zwei> fuck
<d> yay I fixed my laptops battery! <d> it was so dead, nothing would charge it <d> so I gave it the electronic equivalent of a kick in the head, by shorting the +/- terminals for 5 minutes <g> don't they have stickers on them that say they could explode or catch fire by doing that? <d> yeah but it's ok, I took them off first.
KompRa: dude, my girlfriend dumped me yesterday.. Ryan808: itll be fine man KompRa: i got so angry last night i went to her girlfriend and i fucked her all night long KompRa: and the sad thing.. it was on April Fools' Day Ryan808: komp, i think your ex was just messin wit you on the breakup thing, april fools Ryan808: i think u should verify that :\ KompRa: holy shit
<monkeytwizzler> i just tried plugging a serial->ps2 into a ps2->usb1 in order to plug a usb mouse into a laptop with a serial port <monkeytwizzler> that was like 11 years of technology in one plugin
<Personman> So pieces of binary information are bits... <Personman> And ternary ones are trits... <Personman> But that's far enough, I think. <Personman> When we get to base 4, we should call it quits.
Ang3lClds82776: no, seriously, what is the difference btwn a graphics processor and a graphics accelerator?? Philmj88: Well, to give you an idea....a graphics processor is like an artist.... Philmj88: a graphics accelerator is like an autistic kid with a paintbrush...
<BlackMage> The name Benjamin comes from the hebrew "son of my right hand" <BlackMage> If I ever donate sperm, I'm attaching a rider that says the kid needs to be named ben if it's a boy
<DrEechmen> So... earlier today, I was watching one of my family's cats hitting a cord hanging from our blinds for about 10 minutes or so, and I started thinking 'gee, the danged animal is so darned easily amused'... and then I realized that I'd been staring at a cat playing with a string for ten minutes.
<wretched> I started doing crystal meth for the weight loss, now I just enjoy stealing cars...
<DusK> python is pretty easy to learn <DusK> you write pseudocode, and you indent it correctly :)
<jimnathan> fuck fuck fuck... why does bash.org keep posting those roses are red bastardizations? <jimnathan> newsflash!! theyre not funny <jimnathan> the only way it could possibly get worse is if someone made a poem like that completely in 1337 <Fraeon> R0535 4R3 R3D, V10l375 4R3 BLU3, 1337 P037RY 5UCK5, BU7 50 D0 Y0U?
xl DJ DFeNCe lx: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Make me a sandwich, Or your eye will be too.
<falafel> i'm about done with this sodacan castle around my computer monitor <falafel> well atleast the right wing <falafel> i still have the top to defend and get some cover over the left flank <falafel> and i have to do it quickly before the mentos monsters complete the building of their military base
<dsully> please describe web 2.0 to me in 2 sentences or less. <jwb> you make all the content. they keep all the revenue.
<TRG> so, my mom was putting in her CD with church pics but it wouldn't work on her computer <TRG> so she put it in mine <TRG> now, the last thing I watched on windows media player was hardcore lesbian porn <TRG> that got into the action right away <TRG> so my mom puts in the cd into my computer <TRG> opens up windows media players <TRG> and the porn starts playing <TRG> and when I realized what was happening I was like "oh fuck" <TRG> but then... <TRG> she goes berserk <TRG> she was screaming "THIS CD HAS BEEN POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL!!" <TRG> and she took out a HAMMER <TRG> and smashed the fucking CD <TRG> it was the best thing ever <TRG> not only was I completely off the hook <TRG> you have to love the awesome displays of religious apeshit <TRG> I think if god existed, he put people like my mom on this earth to entertain us