hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#74727 [ + | - ] 339
<Autocracy> hehe.. mod_gzip works :)
<Rick_Hunter> Autocracy: Why wouldn't mod_gzip work?
<Autocracy> because it's me...
<Autocracy> that's usually the case...
<Autocracy> I swear the whole world's against me...
* Rick_Hunter makes a note to tell people, at the next
meeting, to be less obvious.
<Autocracy> eh?
<Rick_Hunter> Nothing. ^_^
<Autocracy> heh
<Autocracy> haha
<Autocracy> lmao
* Rick_Hunter whistles and walks away.
#74719 [ + | - ] 393
<Isengard> arkenstone: if i (one day) have to get a pacemaker,
i'm gonna insist on a serial interface for it ;)
<Isengard> jack meself in at night, check the stats.
<arkenstone> Isengard: my uncle had a ps2 port looking thing
in his side
<Isengard> or usb, that way i could recharge ;)
<golgy> run snmp traps
<galahad> golgy: laugh
<golgy> "Warning: Heart not beating"
<galahad> yeah, it would be amusing
<galahad> the coroner could just grep syslog for "fuxor" to
determine time of death..
#74710 [ + | - ] 349
<novaflare> why not use windows me
<Maralia> nova
<novaflare> then you could truely have the worlds worst ms os
hehehe
<Maralia> I was about to say
<Maralia> me < all
<novaflare> windows me owns
<novaflare> till your first crash
<novaflare> then its nothing but crashes
<Phirefly> me = gay
<Maralia> ...
#74708 [ + | - ] 248
nih: I've had it with young girls.. often emotionally
underdeveloped, insecure and terrible in bed
nih: feel free to prove me wrong ;)
Ruth: lol
Ruth: nah, i agree with you
Ruth: young girls are terrible in bed
nih: they get better once they hit puberty
#74702 [ + | - ] 212
<Black_Raven[CoS]> how would blasting cookies with fudge and
marshmellows prove the xistance of elves?
#74700 [ + | - ] 762
<XorioN> o
<XorioN> o/
<XorioN> /o/
<DummeGaas> Heh
<DummeGaas> o/ ^o^ /o_ /o
<DummeGaas> It's fun to stay at the
<DummeGaas> o/ ^o^ /o_ /o
#74693 [ + | - ] 103
<POSKY|dinner> stop sucking up to him u dicks :P
<Fiery_isles> Element`: i figured out why posky always makes /
me licks comments :D
<Element`> WHY!!?!?!?!?
<Element`> its driving me insane D:!!
<Fiery_isles> cause he thinks we are dicks :D?
#74691 [ + | - ] 302
<Gartt> hows the job hunt going?
<Lubey> lol not too great
<Lubey> theres sod all
<Gartt> I hear mcdonalds are looking for hard working
enthusiastic individuals
<Lubey> id cook my own dick before working in a mcdonalds
* Kittie-Ash hands Lubey a small guillotine
<Lubey> small?!?!?!?!!??!
#74688 [ + | - ] 229
<Shadow> You know those Orbit commercials, where the blonde
gives Orbit gum to someone to clean their dirty mouth?
<Shadow> Just once, I wanna see that girl suck off someone,
then chew some Orbit gum
<Shadow> Girl: Orbit gum makes mouths clean!
#74684 [ + | - ] 220
<SlasherX> #php is all communist based
* @Didgerama drives a tank down the middle of #php
<Ballig> Didgerama: You're a commie, you can't afford a tank
<Ballig> You can ride a bicycle with a dart gun, though
#74676 [ + | - ] 275
Knoxy: Her boobs are like "RAWR!"
Knoxy: Those boobs are like "Rawr."
Foofaloo: i wish they were like "winrar"
Knoxy: Then I could be like "I'm going to WinUnZip my pants
now"
Knoxy: "And wank until I explode all over your WinfACE"
#74675 [ + | - ] 536
<kuribo> wanna CS?
<TheCat> I'm guessing that stands for cyber sex.
<TheCat> In which case, sure!
<kuribo> counter-strike, you flaming faggot
<TheCat> I knew that...........
#74674 [ + | - ] 152
DukeMalisto: huh?
DukeMalisto: i've been/am watching black hawk down.
DukeMalisto: later
Lockee: timestamps would help]
Lockee: i said that like 2 hours ago ;P
Lockee: but, hey, i assumed you were there, my bad
Lockee: damn, leaving already?  nobody to talk to here but me
and my dick
Lockee: and we aint on speakin' terms since the mason jar
incident....
#74672 [ + | - ] -24
<Xavier> Stop poking me
* Zsparke jabs her sharp fingernails into Xavier's arm
repeatedly
<Xavier> hey, that hurts
* Zsparke eats rice and continues to jab Xavier's arm
<Xavier> it's all your fault. when i bleed, i'm blaming you.
<Zsparke> it's not /my/ fault you've got blood.
* Zsparke snarfs her rice
#74670 [ + | - ] 753
<superghos> i'm gonna go hug my dad just so i can see the
"christ, is he gay?" face
#74669 [ + | - ] -4
<[ryan]WIN> i should go up to like
<[ryan]WIN> the special ed class
<[ryan]WIN> and find one of those hot retards
<[ryan]WIN> cuz involuntary drooling makes for good oral
#74663 [ + | - ] 681
<kyhm> Let's just say "arting" doesn't make a good verb... ^_^
* Superkuh is still laughing.
<Ezelek> How about stabbing?
<kyhm> stabbing makes a great verb...
<Kestenvarn> How about stabbed as an adjective?
<kyhm> As in, "I'm feeling stabbed today?"  Doesn't do it for
me...
<Kestenvarn> I'm rather stabbed you would say such a shocking
thing.
<kyhm> Stab it all, why doesn't this stabbed thing work?
<Kestenvarn> I'm stabbed. Why?
<kyhm> Stab me... ^_^
<Kestenvarn> Well, go stab yourself!
<Ezelek> Note to self: Don't let any of them near words. Of
any kind.
#74637 [ + | - ] 27
Tom says:  It got frightening quite a few times.
Tom says:  Eh, it was a learning experience.
Ash072 says: I see...do you still feel bad about knocking up
the retarded chick?
Ash072 says: hello?
Tom says:Oh, sorry.
Tom says:Which one?
Ash072 says:  That's my boy...can't even remember all the
retarded chicks he'
Ash072 says:  he's slept with
Tom says:  Hey, if they don't remember, neither will I.
Ash072 says:  Thank god for that drug!
#74636 [ + | - ] 284
<Shounen-chan> seriously, he's such a fuckwit.
<Shounen-chan> it's hidden behind what at times can pass for
wit and charm, though.
<POINGjam> I see.
<POINGjam> He chops the fuck off the wit.
<Shounen-chan> no, he just uses a well placed curtain to draw
attention away from the fuck..
<Shounen-chan> smoke and mirrors are too advanced for him.
<POINGjam> Pay no attention to the fuck behind the curtain.
#74629 [ + | - ] 251
<jent> cuz it hates you
<jent> thats what i always blame my problems on
<PC^God> unix is user friendly. It's just picky about who it
calls its friends
#74616 [ + | - ] 476
<8trac> Is it my fault if I think humanity is best seen
through a sniper scope?
#74609 [ + | - ] 315
<@Awt> 15 years for 3066 counts of accessory to murder? WTF
<XDice> yeh, he missed that 3,067th strike law.
<frash> hahaha
#74601 [ + | - ] 225
[20:21] <cooldaw13>  2nd Hint: 176*   30.0 secs & 12 Points
Remaining
[20:22] <cooldaw13>  3rd Hint: 176*   15.0 secs & 6 Points
Remaining
[20:22] <StealthStalker> 1760
<StealthStalker> 1761
<StealthStalker> 1762
<StealthStalker> i give up
<cooldaw13>  Times up!  The answer was ->  1763  <-
<StealthStalker> OMG
#74593 [ + | - ] 514
<EricClancy> guys
<EricClancy> do you pronounce it live or live?
#74592 [ + | - ] 718
<+TreeSquid> From: "Lots_Of_Lobster@I-Like_Lobster"
<+TreeSquid> Subject: Click here for chance to win 50 lbs.of
lobster!
<+TreeSquid> what the fuck, lobster spam?!
#74583 [ + | - ] 472
<kisama_> http://www.washu.org/cosplay/kat09/
katsucon-09-042.jpg
<kisama_> AND THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T LET FAT GIRLS NEAR A MAI
COSTUME
<DrNick668> i try not to let fat girls near anything, but its
physically impossible. they're closer to everyting by default
#74579 [ + | - ] 121
<mindfuck> root@black-jes:/etc/mail# man how to get laid
<mindfuck> No manual entry for how
<mindfuck> No manual entry for to
<mindfuck> No manual entry for get
<mindfuck> No manual entry for laid
<mindfuck> root@black-jes:/etc/mail#
<mindfuck> <|:]
<Nikita> sucks
<Nikita> see if there is an RFC for that
<Nikita> maybe a mini HOW-TO or something...
#74578 [ + | - ] 372
<b1u3> we got this admin dance that never fails to eventually
resurrect a crashed database server
#74567 [ + | - ] 435
<herze> miss pearl
<herze> my love for you is like diherrea
<helpimarock> what
<herze> i just cant hold it in
<madpunk-nap> omg
<helpimarock> ahhhhhhhhh
<madpunk-nap> that would alomst be elite
<helpimarock> thats the sweetest thing ive ever heard
<madpunk-nap> if i didnt have to do with poop
<herze> haha
<herze> madpunk, even stevie wonder could see the beauty in
you
<herze> i have a few more
<madpunk-nap> i dont want to know, im going back to sleep
<herze> you have over 200 bones in your body... want another?
<herze> lets play army, ill lay on the ground and you can blow
the hell out of me
#74565 [ + | - ] 235
<just_shoot_me> you kno what the worst skool subject in the
world is???
<Star_Princess> just_shoot_me english?
#74563 [ + | - ] 1487
<Clecky> hey
<SargeZT> Hey
<SargeZT> SEX?
<Clecky> sure
* Clecky sex
* SargeZT sex
<SargeZT> Done
<SargeZT> Cya
<Clecky> bye
#74562 [ + | - ] 159
(peer is an op on IRCNet #mirc...)

* Rose_w (~Personal@c-134-84-89.f.dial.de.ignite.net) has
joined #mirc
<Rose_w> *** [10054] Connection reset by peer It's no Joke
more
<Rose_w> I can't smile about this
<@Zardos> The server calls all clients for peers  - thus the
peer the message refers to is actually your own client.
<@Zardos> What probably happens is, that your connection to
the server has problems.
<@Shustrik> no, actually it's Your client who refers to the
server as the peer; )
<@Zardos> either your isp or someone else on the network -
perhaps the irc server itself..
<Rose_w> so you mean that i can chat without proplens
<@peer> Rose_w, you want my address?
<Rose_w> peer i want an Answer
<eina> geez this sounds way to serious and i no be
undrestanding anything  so alhoa
<@peer> <-- scared
<@Shustrik> Rose_w if You think peer is abusing Your
connection, You can contact IRC ops for help
<@Zardos> as I have explained to Rose_w, we have tried to talk
you out of disconnecting people..
<Rose_w>  i want only chat without problems you unterstand ;)
<Rose_w> i have this server so long and i haven't this
problems till today
<Rose_w> just a moment please
<Rose_w> Hello  Peer. I would like gladly unimpaired chat. But
if you always do not break my connection off go that. I
apologize also for itwhich I was so sour. You must understand
me. It nervt if you to start continuously again must.
<Rose_w> my Gramatikal is so terible sorry
<Ace_DK> [21:47:48] * YaN- (plotkin@bzq-70-4.red.bezeqint.net)
Quit (Connection reset by peer) - you think that is peer to?
<Rose_w> yes i think so isn't it
...
#74543 [ + | - ] 84
< AxisV> thinking of a shuttle motherboard too is shuttle any
good
< Lion-O> AxisV: and what exactly does this got to do with
Linux ?
<@Shadur> No, shuttles explode.
#74534 [ + | - ] 462
<Graceless> I've learned that I cannot make someone love me.
All I can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
#74533 [ + | - ] 1163
(@OriX): "Shaggy, you Scoob and Velma go downstairs and check
the basement; Daphne and I'll go upstairs and check the
bedrooms".
(@OriX): Freddy, you magnificent bastard.
#74526 [ + | - ] 787
<[ccp]Gib_Omelet|work> i know one mac user. he says if i keep
teasing him, he's gonna call the other 6 and beat me up
#74523 [ + | - ] 710
AdamGoods> A seagull just took my sandwich!
AdamGoods> brb!!!!
AdamGoods> Ok, we're good now. I traded it some tylenol for my
sandwich back.
AdamGoods> Wait, this isn't mayo!!!
AdamGoods> Nobody say anything.
AdamGoods> I'm a one man show.
AdamGoods> I'm a one man band. I can walk in my corduroys and
play the kazoo!
AdamGoods> Ziddlelum Zum Zuuuuum ZEEP!
Fink-Ployd has quit IRC (QUIT: Stealing in the name of the
lord.)
AdamGoods> No, don't leave! I was just kdding!! I get why your
name is so funny!
AdamGoods> *kidding
AdamGoods> whew. that was close. didn't want you guys to think
that I couldn't spell kidding
AdamGoods> *kdding
uni2> £åügHîñg Øüt £öüÐ
KiKAzZ> AdamGoods.....
KiKAzZ> wtf is wrong with yo
KiKAzZ> you*
AdamGoods> Oh...phew.
AdamGoods> I thought you were asking me what's wrong with yo.
I have no problem with the aforementioned Spanish pronoun/
ebonic salutation.
#74519 [ + | - ] 317
<sirex> is there an enlightenment key sequence to run a
command without a shell?
<Ralp> Probably
<sirex> thanks ralp
<Ralp> I'm here to help!
<Ralp> Wait, no I'm not, I'm here to avoid the drudgery of my
real life and wallow in denial.
#74488 [ + | - ] 127
( +la_haine ) some bloke just turned up at my office saying he
was here for an interview with the BBC
( mademoiselle ) wtf
( +la_haine ) that's what I said
( _seb_ ) do you work at the bbc?
( +la_haine ) well, no
( +la_haine ) hence my confusion
( mademoiselle ) it would have been even funnier if you were
in taiwan
( _seb_ ) ah then i can see how you would be confused
( +seraph ) ROFL
( +la_haine ) it's like 'sorry, I think you're in the wrong
city'
( mademoiselle ) hehe
( +la_haine ) 'there's no BBC here'
( +la_haine ) 'you want London - about 2 hours that way'
#74464 [ + | - ] 94
<Spingo> I know of many MAN installations. I have even done a
few myself.
#74455 [ + | - ] 282
<treepwood> i wanna go anna nicole tipping
#74453 [ + | - ] 37
<timmo> i need to learn the piano part to
<timmo> journey - faithfully
<Mutation> heh, never heard of that, whats the genre?
<McMoo> you've never heard of journey?
<Mutation> they could be only american....
<Mutation> and havn't tried to go international yet
#74372 [ + | - ] 492
<Apollo-> 12,000 tourists went to Antarctica in 2000
<eclypse> why the hell would you want to go there ;)
<eclypse> "WOW, its insanely cold and very white."
<eclypse> "if you look to your left you see some snow, to the
right, some snow, behind us, a bigass piece of ice."
<eclypse> "and if you look around you you'll see several more
complete morons who paid about what you did to see this shit"
#74330 [ + | - ] 265
<shigelojoe>Y'know, the NAACP is always complaining about how
black unemployment is up half the time
<shigelojoe>but if you think about it, the last time there
were no unemployed black people in America, they didn't have
benefits to go with it
<shigelojoe>like freedom, for instance
#74327 [ + | - ] 229
<Imajin> I bet you havent heard of Hingham MA either.
<Foom> no, but i've heard of MA.
<||bass> ive seen MA on the map....
<||bass> it's purple!
<||bass> :D
#74208 [ + | - ] 159
<jGoo> i wish when you guessed a channels key it didnt say
(need correct key), i recon it should say things like (warmer)
(WARMER) (HOT!!)
<jGoo> .....?
<jGoo> does this nick make me look fat?
#74201 [ + | - ] 672
<IndianElvis>: I AM NOT TALKING LOUD I AM JUST USED TO THIS ,
I AM A COBOL PROGRAMMER
#74191 [ + | - ] 335
<[ _Bender_ ]> Guys, I've a copy of Norton AntiVirus 2002...
Can I still install that this year?
#74183 [ + | - ] 735
<CommanderStab> I once knew a guy who impersonated a teenage
girl on the Internet
<CommanderStab> He tricked married men into believing he was a
14 year old Swedish girl and then said that "she'd like to get
a call from him but Dad woudl get suspicious if he heard the
phone ring".
<CommanderStab> So they'd give him their phone number and he'd
use it to trace their addresses down and find out information
about them.
<CommanderStab> Then he'd blackmail them into giving him their
bank account details.
<heythere> ... did he get caught? ^^"
<CommanderStab> Apparantely the cops came around a couple of
times investigating him. He always told the cops that he had
got the information pretending to be a 14 year old girl that
the men had wanted to get in contact with.
<CommanderStab> Apparantely nobody ever pressed further
charges =D
<heythere> damn ... i gotta try that!
#74164 [ + | - ] 1632
<ziz> i wrote a haiku
<ziz> but it is not very good
<ziz> so i won't share it
<Nastard> i wrote one myself
<Nastard> it is much better than yours
<Nastard> i should write some more