hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#83659 [ + | - ] 369
* OutLaniz (jalvarez05@alnkjnflkjanskdjnalk.covad.net) has
joined #Counter-Strike
* OutLaniz got pussy 2night!
<OutLaniz> wewt
<Mr`Fly> why dont you get some friends to so you dont have to
join irc channels and tell them.
#83650 [ + | - ] 235
[ @^duckman^ ] haha i remember when i was 15 we got this guy
to get us a keg
[ @^duckman^ ] then he said ok i want 20 bucks for you to
borrow my tap
[ @^duckman^ ] we had no idea what that is
[ @^duckman^ ] so i said we have one
[ @^duckman^ ] that sucked
#83643 [ + | - ] 275
<Kosta> I bet men wouldn't be so fascinated with vaginas if
they secreted lima beans
#83634 [ + | - ] 177
<Duo> I'm moving to Mars
<Duo> Where the only ISP is Marz
<Flash|slp|possum> and Earthlink (XD)
#83627 [ + | - ] 10546
<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would
poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started
doing it to them at funerals.
#83621 [ + | - ] 990
jeremy rockz: im slowly unbuttoning your blouse, then i rip
off your bra, and start to suck on one of your nipples while
fondling the other, im getting hard now, and start to unzip my
pants
jeremy rockz: shit
jeremy rockz: wrong window
KrazeGuy04: omg! too late! keep going!
jeremy rockz: wow'
#83616 [ + | - ] 20
<%quickman> i cant remember these chinese names for my history
test
<%quickman> they were probably just named by their parents
throwing a bunch of pots and pans down the stairs
#83613 [ + | - ] 30
<Flashfire> 'bad mouth' - a mouth which is evil and wants to
take over the universe
#83602 [ + | - ] 1431
(@Wheelman56) 37.  What does the average person do
approximately 15 times a day?
(@Wheelman56) Answer: _____
(@]D2D[Scratch) masturbate
(+ep`andro`shower) masturbate
(+TD|Canuckistan) masturbate
#83595 [ + | - ] 183
* Treiben has bargainname.com
Azi: how much are they?
Treiben: 8.95
Azi: same as godaddy then
Azi: actually, i'd register for a decade to take care of the
next 10 years at a cut rate
Azi: but i don't want to pay for 10 years and then have the
human race obliterate itself in 5
Azi: that would be just my luck
#83592 [ + | - ] 313
<EvilNekoSpork> You know, it's a bad sign when you hear a loud
crash and the build process you were watching take place via
SSH on another machine abruptly stops... and the other SSH
session freezes... brb.
#83567 [ + | - ] 305
<MuerteDeAngeles> Ironic how shit works out...my theory is
this...no matter how much life wants to fuck me in the ass,
things always turn out somewhat good
<MuerteDeAngeles> Like a metaphorical reach-around, if you
will
#83557 [ + | - ] 864
wildcanary55: go away
xzet27: why?
wildcanary55: I'm working
xzet27: this is ur boyfriend
wildcanary55: this is your girlfriend's mother!
xzet27: o
xzet27: sry
#83546 [ + | - ] 454
<ascii_phil> And if you ever need something to scare children
with[0], I'll
describe the tenant cycle implementation.
<ascii_phil> [0] Well, database-knowledgable geek children.
* daveious is scared enough by the implementation of
footnotes in IRC,
thankyouverymuch
#83538 [ + | - ] 155
<Oli> i havent got my email yet.
<Rossell> Oli: That the police found your gay card?
<Reid> You need a CARD now?
<Reid> Where do I, umm, obtain one?
<Rossell> Parliament
#83518 [ + | - ] 271
<Raine> Loggy, you ever hear of Escape Velocity?
<Loggy> I DONT KNOW THE NAME, BUT THE FACE SURE RINGS A
BELL!!!  BWAHAHAHAHHA!!!  LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ
*** Loggy has been kicked off channel #mooniverse by Raine
(jerk)
<Raine> LMAO
*** Loggy (~Loggy@12.25.86.106) has joined channel #mooniverse
<Loggy> damn AT&T...
*** Loggy has been kicked off channel #mooniverse by Al (You
go to hell and you die!)
<Raine> ROFL
<Al> hehe
*** Loggy (~Loggy@12.25.86.106) has joined channel #mooniverse
<Loggy> better give them a call..
#83515 [ + | - ] 906
<Starfleet> I'm playin America's Army Online
<Starfleet> My task is to provide Friendly Fire
#83512 [ + | - ] 232
<{R3D}Hurricane> you know your a geek when the highlight of
your vacation consisted of spying on people in the Oracle HQ
Building with binoculars from your hotel room
#83510 [ + | - ] 568
<corey|sleepin> bush is on tv
<static> wut he sayin corey?
<corey|sleepin> 'all yer oil are belong to us'
#83489 [ + | - ] 2690
<Luigi30> someone ping flood 127.0.0.1
<Luigi30> he keeps trying to hack me
<Luigi30> nm
<Floach> This, folks, is why Mario always gets the Princess.
#83455 [ + | - ] 935
<aberration> I hear they opened a wal-mart in china.... i can
imagine the people who shop there... "Hey I just made that
yesterday !"
#83449 [ + | - ] 102
<Samah> hmm the one bad thing about seeing cute chicks - it
gets me depressed.... T_T
<@toe2toe> /j #suicide
#83445 [ + | - ] -139
[03:25:01] <@holden> damnit i shit myself
[04:04:39] <@holden> god that took forever to clean up
[04:05:08] <@holden> seriously.. shitting yourself at 4 am is
gay
[04:05:20] <@holden> i was sitting here minding my own
business
[04:05:24] <@holden> and blam!
[04:05:28] <@holden> all this shit comes out..
[04:05:31] <@holden> i was like.. WTF
[04:05:49] <@holden> and its all liquidy and running around my
junk
[04:06:01] <@holden> and i'm sitting here like.. well fuck
[04:06:34] <@holden> so i get up.. and its all running down my
leg.. so i hobble off to the bathroom, so as not to disjar it
anymore
[04:06:40] <@holden> jakdflakjsdf
[04:06:52] <@holden> i can only pray this doesnt happen to
someone else
[04:07:54] <@holden> i think it was the pizza i ate last night
D:
#83375 [ + | - ] 285
<Nexus330> we got this phrase back south
<Nexus330> "Old enough to pee, is old enough for me"
<morbid> well that explains alot
#83326 [ + | - ] 410
<Lo-Rez> having sex lowers your immune system
<coalesce> i must be immune to everything then
#83322 [ + | - ] 818
* jesuschrist (she-christ@144.138.49.12307) has joined #tool
<@`2L> *** jesuschrist is back (has been gone for 2003 years 3
months, 28 days)
#83318 [ + | - ] 138
<Tagrineth> You shouldn't hit a girl ;P
<[justin]> i dont consider you a girl
<[justin]> i consider you one of the gays
<[justin]> er
<[justin]> i mean one of the guys
#83310 [ + | - ] 731
(dariball_) n8 all
(jason-) i think it means night.
(jason-) but i'm not leet enough like that.
(Xentac) hehehe
(Xentac) but night ends in ite... and 8 ends in ate...
(Xentac) so he's saying nate
(jason-) i can understand like "i 8 your chicken because it
looked at my prost8."
(jason-) that makes more sense
(jason-) well kinda.
#83298 [ + | - ] 220
* @Death-Blade wishes hotmail would be smart enough to block
any email addresses with painfully obviously invalid domain
names
<@Death-Blade> assadfds@ajkdjsas.ase most certainly qualifies
as such
<Sinclair-> oh shit i know that guy!
#83290 [ + | - ] 470
<kingmob> i thought i caught an obscure reference in the last
buffy
<kingmob> so i emailed one of the writers and asked him about
it
<kingmob> he just responded and told me i was right
<kingmob> i transcend mere dorkiness at this point.
#83276 [ + | - ] 179
<Slinky3> i made bricks today!
<Slinky3> with my own home-ground flour!
<Apollo> I made some too, but I flushed them when I was
finished
#83176 [ + | - ] 234
<EnoC> sex should be like a honda slow obsene and loud enough
for the neighbors to hear
#83142 [ + | - ] 67
<H|TM4N> \msg NickOP@austnet.org id rd9alpz%
<H|TM4N> lol
<zAim|trance> lemme try sumthing
* Quits: H|TM4N (Justin@vw1121.netspace.net.au) (Killed
(NickOP (Kill requested by zAim|trance)))
#83130 [ + | - ] 277
<Wraith> What IP addressing scheme should we use for the new
lab?
<Rance> 10.10.220 plus the number...
#83095 [ + | - ] 214
*** Joins: soundsold
(~heldar@host61.wentworth.w.subnet.rcn.com)
<zaps> that is wierd
<zaps> my last name is in that host.
<timmo> WOW
<timmo> WHAT A COINCIDENCE
<orion> is your last name 61.w?
#83094 [ + | - ] 420
<magpie> i bet you just hit a deer with your vehicle
<magpie> and call it "hunting"
<JustNoodle> I drive a saturn, I'd have more of a chance of my
car exploding then killing a deer when I hit one
#83045 [ + | - ] 509
<CmdrRat|Sick> http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/
0,,30100-12276106,00.html
<CmdrRat|Sick> MARINE shot in the head 4 times, helmet saves
him
<Toan> wow
<Toan> He should play CS
#82851 [ + | - ] 1106
<WHEELJACK> it's against my religion to drink
<bf> what religion is that
<WHEELJACK> poverty
#82808 [ + | - ] 784
<courtney> GOD! I hate periods!
<ken> yea ending sentences is sooooooo over rated
#82645 [ + | - ] 240
<veruca_girl> wtf?
<veruca_girl> you people make less sense than a david lynch
film
#82642 [ + | - ] -1
<Ekstelis> How long did the installation take?  1300+ Hours of
labor involved in restoration and install
<Ekstelis> How much fiberglass and resin was used? 42 gallons
of fiberglass and resin.
<TK`Devour> it takes me 42 gallons of fiberglass & resin to
put my bong back together after i use it too much
#82239 [ + | - ] 211
<TwiZTid_CoZa> i told me mum to goto goatse
<TwiZTid_CoZa> she banned me off the net for a week
#82238 [ + | - ] 201
* Robzy tries to remember wher goatse ASCII is...
* Robzy wonders why the *ENTIRE* geek community is obsessed
with goatse
<Tripwire> Robzy: it's tradition
<Robzy> Has anyone ever spared a thought for the photographer
of goatse?!
#82232 [ + | - ] 73
* FarmerJoe is the resident pro-war/anti-canada guy
<soopadeop> <--- canadian
<FarmerJoe> aww, sorry...I hate you :P
#82229 [ + | - ] 257
Sugarhigh0307: i spent 9 months of my life tryin 2 get out of
a pussy and the rest of it tryin 2 get back in
Sugarhigh0307: thats what this kid just said to me
#82227 [ + | - ] 259
<idiot> My penis is like a pringles can :D
<DrunkenMaster> the short stack ones
<Bizznatch> LMAO
<Bizznatch> 0WN3D
<xanax`> hehe
<idiot> bah
#82226 [ + | - ] 289
<a_passerby> and although she has never given me written
consent to check her legs, i most certainly have
<flatface> lol
<Saotome_Ranma> testosterone alert
<Saotome_Ranma> woo woo
<Saotome_Ranma> passerb is becoming horny :o
<a_passerby> testosterone makes the world go round
<a_passerby> estrogen makes the world mad and unfriendly
<Everdraed> Says the person who just went through twenty plus
pages of Winnie the Pooh hentai
<Saotome_Ranma> IT WASN'T ALL WINNIE I SWEAR
#82223 [ + | - ] -94
* Robzy spins round in his chair
* Robzy falls off...
* Robzy hurts his head
<Robzy> ouch.
* Robzy obviously needs sleep...
<Robzy> Neways....
#82222 [ + | - ] 423
<abcbooze> a patriot missle shot down a british aircraft
<i8> Damn British pilots flying into our missiles...
#82218 [ + | - ] 121
<astynax> i'm gonna install icq and look for some hoez
<deformated> hoez dont even know what irc is
<deformated> only in other countries do females use it
<astynax> ICQ, not IRC
<deformated> ahh it might help if i read things
<astynax> i heard it helps