hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21117 Approved Quotes | 3 in Moderation Queue
#87725 [ + | - ] 635
<burn_prom_girl> our frigde is outside because we got our
kitchen tiled
<burn_prom_girl> and its in a puddle of water
<burn_prom_girl> thats bad right ?
<burn_prom_girl> and i shouldnt step in the water around the
frigde ?
<burn_prom_girl> its plugged in
<ikari> water doesnt conduct electricity
<ikari> it's an urban myth
<ikari> go dance in the puddle
#87705 [ + | - ] 184
<Qube> wowzz: try putting each servers ip and name in /etc/
hosts
<wowzz> where is /etc/hosts
#87684 [ + | - ] 1136
<bhlaab> One time in high school I was talking to a girl who
was SUPER NAZI feminist, and she was going on and on about the
double standards against women in society, and how men have no
double standards against them.
<bhlaab> That's when I brought up the fact that lesbians are
looked upon as "fine", wheras gay men are always getting the
complete <censored> beat out of them for no reason. She got
pissed off at this comment, and snapped at me "What, are you a
fag too or something?!"
<bhlaab> Go equal rights!!
#87652 [ + | - ] 333
<spikeo > a part of me wishes everyone could have seen that
<spikeo > and another part of me doesnt
<spikeo > ok i have really itchy pubic wig atm (not lice,
before you ask)
<spikeo > so i tried my clippers on it
<Gecko`> that part being your ELBOW
<spikeo > didn't realise they don't *do* long hairs
<spikeo > and my fucking shaver got tangled to my crotch
<spikeo > and was trying to kill me
<Emmeh> rofl
<Rel^Slacking> lol
<spikeo > i was like bicentennial man
<spikeo > or kryten trailing his groinal attachments
<spikeo > i can laugh now
<spikeo > but
<spikeo > NO BABIES FOR ME
<spikeo > :'(
<Rel^Slacking> Thats prolly a good thing
#87611 [ + | - ] 1250
<BorD> What If Saddam Hussein survived the bombing last week,
but lost a leg... How pissed-off do you think his doubles are?
#87585 [ + | - ] 1741
<s4xton> "fo shizzle ma nizzle" is a bastardization of "fo'
sheezy mah neezy" which is a bastardization of "for sure mah
nigga" which is a bastdardization of "I concur with you whole
heartedly my African american brother"
#87577 [ + | - ] 142
<shok> what is the average life expectancy of a Saddam look
alike ?
#87517 [ + | - ] 1363
<Cotton Mouth> How do you describe the color blue to someone
who is blind and has never seen a color before?
<NickBlasta> 0 0 255
#87490 [ + | - ] 496
<Leon> lol @ The Register
<Leon> Schools use SMS to fight truancy
<Leon> Oi u ltl sh*t, get bk 2 skool now
#87369 [ + | - ] 2037
<Dream Caller> CNN - Three teenagers beat a mentally retarded
man to death.
<Striker> $5 says they blame it on video games
<Adventurer> Yeah we all know that popular game where you kill
retards (/sarcasm)
<Thrasher> You've obviously never played counterstrike then.
#87072 [ + | - ] 104
<WorstQEvr> buying douches over the internet is like the
epitome of shady
#87064 [ + | - ] 282
Brandon2W: i had a dream that i was talking to someone, but
she had a little AIM window next to her head, and i just read
what she said there and typed back to her what i would have
said
Brandon2W: i need therapy
#87023 [ + | - ] 457
<ocelot> I've lost my only spoon
<ocelot> how do you lose ANYTHING in a 11,4 square feet
room???!?!
<Adam_H> ocelot: there is no spoon
#87022 [ + | - ] 1164
<chodapp> Girls don't have penises, xooz98
<xooz98> chodapp - i thought that too UNTIL I GOT KAZAA
#86961 [ + | - ] 533
<Bugaboo> So I was in the halls today, some jerk yells "I
wanna fuck your dad"
<Bugaboo> I shout back "hes dead"
<Bugaboo> moment of ackward silence, as they think of what to
do
<Bugaboo> It made up for all the grief I had at killing the
old guy.
#86960 [ + | - ] 1019
<qp_zulrich-EE> both hitler and bush got the power... only one
had a brain D:
<samurai> bush has a brain
<samurai> its just really really small
<V|JFreak> dude
<V|JFreak> he WAVED at stevie wonder.....
#86957 [ + | - ] 721
«TheCulter» guys: two people, /nick and /quit are on a boat. /
nick falls off the boat. who's left on the boat?
(@Makenshi`) /quit
(@Makenshi`) duh
#86903 [ + | - ] 278
<Uday_Williams> Know what'd be messed up?  If one of Saddam's
doubles turned good, and then was appointed to run the
country.  Bet that'd confuse alot of people.
#86848 [ + | - ] 1721
<cali310> I heard the most ridiculous comment ever made by a
newscaster last night on fox........
<cali310> He said, "the Iraqis have hundreds of seasoned
suicide bombers"
<cali310> How in the fuck does one become a seasoned suicide
bomber?
#86683 [ + | - ] 467
<Resident_Redneck> The Canadians commited three warships, 1000
soldiers, and 10 tanks to the war effort...but due to the
exchange rate, it works out to be a mountie, a moose, and a
flying sqirrel.
#86452 [ + | - ] 296
<n3wt> FFS, I am not reading anything with 'The Naughty Goat'
in the title
<n3wt> Not unless it has pictures, anyway
#86444 [ + | - ] 241
<Dynamo> Do that again, and I will switch your testicles with
your eyes.
#86421 [ + | - ] 203
<CodeMason> I never sleep.
<CodeMason> I just lapse into alcohol-induced catatonia on a
regular basis.
#86407 [ + | - ] 793
<Snow> If Grand Theft Auto isn't mankind's greatest invention,
I don't know what is.
<Snow> I just flew around the city in an Apache attack
helicopter firing missiles and random cars. And when I got
bored of that, I stole some guys motorcycle, rode 120mph
across town to a nightclub, where I picked up $10,000, walked
inside, and fired a minigun into the crowd, liquifying
everyone inside.
<Snow> And then I picked up a new suit and went home and
called it a day.
<dano> i love how accurate its portrayal of the 1980s
night-life is
#86390 [ + | - ] 470
<[KS]> this one time... at lan camp.. i stuck cat5 up my pussy
#86371 [ + | - ] 846
<Afbc0m> my 3 yr old bro is here
<Afbc0m> he was listening to eminem and started swearing
<Afbc0m> my mom was pissed
<Afbc0m> in the middle of dinner, he was like, "bitch please,
get down on yo knees"
#86247 [ + | - ] 40
<timmo> tim would rather fuck a woman who doesnt know what the
hell irc is
<c-rOCK> fuck that
<c-rOCK> i want a hottie who can irc it up.
<c-rOCK> and i wanna be like
<c-rOCK> yeah im a mod on bash.org
<c-rOCK> hop on my dick now slut.
#86246 [ + | - ] -283
<Enchi|ada> Martin Luther King is a holiday because it is
symbolic of the propensity of black people's laziness and
unwillingness to work.
#86232 [ + | - ] 795
<Jeff> I'm such a ditz, I dialed my phone number into the
microwave
#86228 [ + | - ] 289
<ksennin> "Do the girls have to shave their asses?"
<ksennin> [x] Yes
<ksennin> [ ] Yes
<FT> ksennin: Your definition of 'great' tends to be weird.
<TripleRach> Shave, what
<FT> Try "Shake"
<ksennin> Oh shit.
<ksennin> Yes, "Shake"
#86224 [ + | - ] 480
<Dirtbiker> howd all of u learn how to do this crap?
<@nomis> hit f1
<@nomis> frequently
<Dirtbiker> in here?
<@nomis> in flash
<Dirtbiker> but thats the shortcut to help
#86218 [ + | - ] 1789
<NuclearisWinterius> "Without the USA there would be no
France, just a greater Germany" and the guest on the show said
"Without France, there would be no USA, just a greater
England"
<Method> hurray for france!
<Method> without england, there'd be no USA, just a really big
canada where they all spoke french.
<Method> i don't know what's worse
<ari> Without Finland, there would be no IRC and this
pointless discussion would not be taking place :p
#86204 [ + | - ] 283
<pengo> i dont really care if i'm not normal.. so long as i'm
abnormal within the normal range of abnormality.
#86199 [ + | - ] -186
<[TMBJ]Harrison> I love bash.org.  All I have to do to be
funny is copy/paste. :)
#86186 [ + | - ] 579
<SJr|Tecra> I'd shit my pants if my girlfriend said she was
pregnant.
<robb> i'd shit my pants if you had a girlfriend
#86135 [ + | - ] 41
* freebs is playing [ Fiddler On The Roof - If I Were A Rich
Man ] ¤ M[X]S
<aNuBiS-> lol
<freebs> i'm very eclectic
<freebs> well if it's spelt right
<aNuBiS-> that fancy speak for, gay?
#86115 [ + | - ] 683
<LinkDJ> At prom, me and Julea were dancing, and a song came
on that I recognised. We're dancing, and halfway through I get
a big smile on my face.
<LinkDJ> It turns out it was a song from DDR.
<LinkDJ> I think i've told that much here before
<LinkDJ> What I didn't mention: I started doing finger
combinations on her ass.
#86104 [ + | - ] 635
<fade> i need to find the stupid adapter now
<Queued> If I had a stupid adapter, I could understand the
other half of the channel
<Petter[web]> I resent that.
<Queued> I understand.
#86100 [ + | - ] 996
Soca: God damn fucking neighbors and their dog need to die
Soca: I just tore up my front lawn with my truck trying to
piss them off.  I hope it worked.
drnick: you tore up your own lawn trying to piss of the
neighbours
drnick: hmm wheres the logic in that
Soca: Well, I made a lot of noise in the process
Deltan: Yea the joke's really on them with that one
#86099 [ + | - ] 444
<Arrgh> great.. now he's trying to vomit in my shoe
* [TMBJ]Rhadamanthus happydances
<Arrgh> he called it a "vomit capture device"
<[TMBJ]Rhadamanthus> Throw something at him
<Arrgh> like what? my shoe?!
<Arrgh> HE ALREADY HAS IT
#86095 [ + | - ] 265
* inkedmn is BORED
< jbm> inkedmn: drink beers. fuck wife.
< inkedmn> jbm: no beer/money, wife's at work
< jbm> uh. got any pets?
#86065 [ + | - ] 519
<CommanderStab> Man, all of these supposed "free PHP hosting"
sites and not one of them is any good >_<
<CommanderStab> WTF?
<Riku> o.o
<CommanderStab> Hungarian?!
<CommanderStab> These guys actually have INTERNET?!
<CommanderStab> Man, I can't read this shit >_<
<CommanderStab> I have the greatest idea for a site
<CommanderStab> Say that we ofer 1000mb of fre PHP hosting
<CommanderStab> Then when they submit their information we
keep their password and username and don't give them a site
<CommanderStab> Then we build a massive database of usernames
and poasswords
<CommanderStab> Then we create a program to goes to every site
on the itnernet that requires a password and get it to try all
of the user/passes we have on every site
<CommanderStab> Then we blackmail the people because no doubt
some of the sites are like sick porn sites and we'll have
their email addresses
<CommanderStab> And we use the money that we get out of the
blackmail to actually BUY some decent hosting
<CommanderStab> So I don't have to keep looking through all
this shit
#86059 [ + | - ] 440
<CrossAlkaid> I'm going to make myself a son out of all the
Kleenex I have in a pile by now.
<CrossAlkaid> Then I'll kill him, because the law makes no
provisions for people made of Kleenex.
#86057 [ + | - ] 224
<Dr SpaZZo> A Reese's Peanut Butter Puff going directly down
your throat is a LOT more painful than one might imagine.
TwilightKnight jots that down
<TwilightKnight> thanks
<Dr SpaZZo> No problem.
#86054 [ + | - ] 83
<+{R3D}Hurricane> Fly Delta. Cause everyone else is bankrupt.
#86049 [ + | - ] 33
<Squinky> Where the hell is sumez.
<Jim> Using an anonymous vagina, as are most Danish guys.
<Squinky> Do they not have VD there or something?
<Jim> They are VD.
<Squinky> So it's really Danish guys ravaging my penis right
now?
<Jim> Most likely...Did you stick it into a Danish girl?
<Squinky> I think I used a breakfast danish to masturbate the
other day...
<Jim> Pff, obviously that's what it is.
<Jim> You're supposed to use AMERICAN pie.
#86029 [ + | - ] 289
<Acero> my parents never bought me candy for shit because my
moms a dental assistant
<Acero> so i'd have to hide candy like drugs
<Acero> thats how i got so good at it
#86028 [ + | - ] 278
GGamoGamo: The unofficial newspaper of the college my friend
went to was investigated by the Secret Service once
Wintyr Feanim: why?
GGamoGamo: For printing an editorial called "Jesus, please
strike down Geroge W. Bush"
#86019 [ + | - ] 504
<Desert_Storm> crap..
<Desert_Storm> just woke up in front of PC again :(
#86017 [ + | - ] 308
<][blah][> i mean, are there any downloadble cd burners?, or
do you need hardware?