<Dhraakellian> an ant just ran across the top of my monitor <Dhraakellian> I've heard of ANSI, but this is ridiculous <Dhraakellian> perhaps my computer needs to be debugged
<Rigger> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I started getting dressed before she could turn on the lights...... <Rigger> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes on already, and she can't find her undies....... <Rigger> But she finds my undies next to the bed. <Rigger> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?
Knight Takeru: what happened to your old greeting? TheDauntlessStar: i dunno TheDauntlessStar: it was there, then it just sorta faded away... TheDauntlessStar: like George Lucas's directing abilities Knight Takeru: Yup... Knight Takeru: or Bush's leadership.. Knight Takeru: wait Knight Takeru: that was never there Knight Takeru: my bad...
<TFreak> She was like, "are you enjoying this" <TFreak> And I was like thinking, dude, it feels like I'm fucking a bowl of spagetti-Os or something.
### Psyber converts paige's vibrator from .5 milliamps to 200 amps ### Paige is gone (07:19PM): brb.. *bzzzz*
* ChanServ has quit IRC (*.net *.split) * Cold_Lich sets mode: -ooo Deleter Elight|Xenosaga KamikazeChicken|Away * Cold_Lich sets mode: -o Arieswind * Cold_Lich whistles innocently
<Sebbe> Just found some online CPR 101 <Sebbe> The instructions are: Call, blow, pump <Sebbe> Kinda makes me wonder if I accidentally stumbled upon a Hooker 101
<quacks> u look like that milk girl <quacks> on the cup <@dolphie> huh? <@dolphie> nonsense.. that girls so ugly <quacks> precisely.
<werxxx> ok.. <werxxx> lemme put it like this <werxxx> how to make my script check dns of a given domain <xterm> werxxx: google should be able to help you out. <werxxx> google? <werxxx> so i'll need to configure my script to parse google query result?
<acaos> why does bread come in one shape, meat in another, and cheese in a third so when you want to make a sandwich you have to cut and fold and contort to get it right? =) <leile> hahaha. <leile> its like food-origami. <acaos> my thought exactly =) <acaos> but I have balanced the meat-yin and the cheese-yang and the bread-fu now. <acaos> the ancient, mystical art of Sandwich-Do. <leile> hahaha <leile> HAHAHAHA.
<_Dogbert_> whats the diff btwn a bucket of menstrual fluid, and a bucket of sand? <rusty-chix> wtf? <_Dogbert_> you cant gargle a bucket of sand *** You were kicked by ChanOP ([Android] stop now.) *** Attempting to rejoin... *** Rejoined channel #teens
<Yuli> ...so anyway, I was all like "where's my coconuts man! I ordered em last week!" <Yuli> and the guy just stared at me like "what the fuck?" <Yuli> so i was all like "whatever man, send them to my hut" <Yuli> and I paddled away
<Judith> if you were trying to market condoms, what would you try to use for a slogan? <Redeemer> "Wear the fuck out of us."
notten: it's cliche shit and i'd rather masturbate with sandpaper than watch a minute of mtv
<OwnerDemon> It kind of sucks now that there are so many computer jokes and innuendos on bash.org that people like me can't understand them. <TheOne> 7|-|47z (|_|z j0012 4 f|_||<1n9 DUMB4SS! <OwnerDemon> Exactly.
«BoneyCork» ok heres a foolproof plan to get a girl «BoneyCork» rummage around for 5 minutes, turn to a girl, smile and say" excuse me, have you got a pen i can borrow?" «Dilbert|Simpsons» or pull out your penis and say "i'm horny bitch, suck my cock" «_404NotFound» ha «_404NotFound» ahh.. the direct approach «BoneyCork» ive never tried that one «BoneyCork» maybe i should sometime «Dilbert|Simpsons» yeah «Dilbert|Simpsons» i've done it millions of times «Dilbert|Simpsons» its bound to work sooner or later
<genesis> mommy, why doesnt bc do logic math? <ch> because you touch yourself. <genesis> a world without bit shifts is a world i dont want to masturbate in
<gellehsak> all the french kids at my school <gellehsak> look at porn all day <gellehsak> they're like <gellehsak> "HAW HAW HAW... LE PORNO EST TRES BIEN"
<Taiken> A TERRIBLE THING HAS HAPPENED! <Shempo> WHAT!? <Shempo> TIMMY FELL DOWN THE WELL? <Taiken> WORSE! <Taiken> IM OUT OF MARIJUANA! <Shempo> Oh <Shempo> My <Shempo> God * Shempo calls up Canabis-Man <Shempo> SAVE HIM CANABIS MAN! <Taiken> ... <Taiken> Where is Cannabis man? <Shempo> Probably high.
<VxD> mmm, nothing like a little VD on a Friday afternoon <VxD> oops, nevermind, it was just lipstick
<cwilbur> we have a database table with fifteen million rows in it. <cwilbur> they brought a manual database change in. <cwilbur> "please print a table dump before and after you make the change." <Azhrarn> nothing like hard copy to recover mistakes from! <cwilbur> there are fifteen million rows in the table. if you want us to make a dump of the table just in case, that makes sense. but do you really want a *book*? <cwilbur> "our policy says that we need a printout." <confound> hahaha <cwilbur> oooookay. <Azhrarn> print out a link to the backup on your intranet :) <confound> "that's not MY policy." <cwilbur> no, they want a printout, they'll get a printout. <pmichaud> what font size? how many lines per page? <Azhrarn> Poor trees <Halfjack> They'll only want it once. <cwilbur> when someone asks why we've gone through three toner cartridges and the printer is still printing, we'll refer them to the twit. <Azhrarn> shrink the font till it fits on one page :) <pmichaud> purl, 15000000 / 66 <purl> 227272.727272727 <Azhrarn> ! <pmichaud> purl, 227272 / 5000 <purl> 45.4544 <pmichaud> 45 cases of paper :-) <pmichaud> at 66 lines per page <Azhrarn> and after he makes the changes...
<ater> how bout a tamigotchi game with a chinktwat <ater> your only options would be "Do Math" "Practice Violin"
<mufffin> i could live there <mufffin> except its an apartment <Schlurbna> That's not to say I wouldn't live there but I expect more from penthouse apartments. <hoek_> Schlurbna - you expect penthouse models in there?
<esco600> why would someone's mom be on bash.org? <aNuBiS-> moms need nerd love too
<[CKS]Red_Robot> i know i should be working on my paper, but id rather be playing warcraft, so to compromise im doing almost nothing
<LesVoix> i want to start the straight pride parade <fubar-42o> yah <fubar-42o> what kinda flag would we have <fubar-42o> since the gay ppl have a rainbow <fubar-42o> we should <fubar-42o> have 2 chicks doin it <LesVoix> LOL <fubar-42o> cuz thats what every straight guy wants to see
<steven> Alman : Will you be my friend? <Alman> uhm lemme do a whois on you first
<foo-busy> besides, saying you're a vb programmer around true geeks is like saying you're gay at the mormon's men convention. seeya later
<sh`> hmmm i wonder if i can burn at 52x now <sh`> time to add to my pile of hardware sitting in/on the case <sh`> brb * sh` has quit IRC <xyonz> he needs a girlfriend or something
<Faight> Reproduction is stupid. <AndrewLB> You want sex, don't you? <Faight> I have a 6 year old brother. <Faight> He's an annoying little bastard, but I love him. <Faight> =/ <AndrewLB> That was quite possibly THE most disturbing answer you could give.
<ThePerfectCore> I hate "fake-geek" chicks. <blacksun> Oh yeah? <ThePerfectCore> "omg i lik compooters" <ThePerfectCore> "Yeah?" <ThePerfectCore> "yeah my dady bought me a dell 2day it has 2ghz of ram!!! loool!!!!" <blacksun> hahaha <ThePerfectCore> *thud thud thud* <ThePerfectCore> That would be my head fucking the wall <ThePerfectCore> My wall gets more action than I do
<Gnell|CHAMPION> OMG A DONKEY JUST WENT BY OUTSIDE MY HOUSE <Gnell|CHAMPION> i wanna ride it * Gnell|CHAMPION is away
<%revmoo> http://revmoo.home.insightbb.com/irox.jpg <%revmoo> (yes that is a real screenshot) <%revmoo> (no I do not have a life)
TXTerron: i have of those strtoken: me too TXTerron: the first girl i ever got intimate says it was normal length but very large gerth TXTerron: that should have been my first clue she was a fucking slut
<Panzer> hmm. 3% out of about 2000 Battlefield gamers are female <Sargasm> That's...what, 60? <Panzer> dont know if thats exact <Wilbur> it is <dsbnh> and this matters because....? <dsbnh> now more gamers can get dates? <Wilbur> trivia is vital <Panzer> dee <Sargasm> 3% of them can, now <dsbnh> "omg kekekek i am a girl don't shoot k cutie ^___^" <Sargasm> "omg are u really a gurl?" <Sargasm> "pics plz" <dsbnh> "OMG yes" <Panzer> heh <dsbnh> "later after i win" <Panzer> forget it <dsbnh> "let me win k?" <Sargasm> "anything for u hunny <Sargasm> " <dsbnh> "^__^" <Panzer> ack von stupidhead *** Signoff: Garnet (Exit: Austnet Chat Network) <dsbnh> "what button do i press to shoot, becauseobviouslyicanconvinceiamagirlbyactingclueless" <Sargasm> "u can push my buttons any day" <dsbnh> "omg kkeekke ur funny" <dsbnh> "dude i have him we are so win to win" <dsbnh> "oh crap, i typed that in wrong" <dsbnh> "kekeke hi... helllo" <Sargasm> Sadly, this is far more accurate than it should be <dsbnh> LOL
<adorecm> i just had to type out my proposal for english class. <whitcomb> "Dear Gay English teacher: I will marry you for an A. Sincerely, Eric Metz." <adorecm> not a proposal like that
[Sh0t]: i want to win the homo dominatrix torture chamber contest [Sh0t]: homo=home [Sh0t]: FREUD GOT ME AGAIN
<Breianna> The U.K. is adding a new stripe to its flag <Breianna> Black, to reflect its "multiculturalism" <whitcomb> i noticed all the blue people when i went there
<jamz> So I sent out an email saying that due to a death in the family I was going to be out for the next two days. <jamz> one person emailed me back: Please accept my sincere apologies. <jamz> I emailed her back: What, did you kill her?
<kmad> today, me and jake were playing tennis <kmad> this mom with her son, like 11 years old, were watching us play <kmad> a ball was hit over to them, so I ran over to pick it up <kmad> the kid asks me, "How did you get so good at tennis??" <kmad> I think for a second, try to hold back a grin <kmad> "Drugs." <kmad> The mom gave me a big old FUCK YOU and stormed off with her kid
< CausaSui> So I was showing a coworker bsd, and explaining flags, and speficically the schg flag < CausaSui> And to give him an example that even root can't delete schg flagged stuff, I tried rm /kernel < CausaSui> But it turns out that, for some reason, on fresh installs of 4.8, none of the kernels are flagged schg
<H3g3m0n> Wow according to the starwars website Star Wars Episode III is going to be called "In production"
<@DrPoole> i wish i had a friendly panda <@DrPoole> he'd be my buddy. watch tv and stuff. <@DrPoole> drink beer. <@niklas> get high <@DrPoole> yeah. he'd get fucked right up and he'd beat on me from time to time. <@DrPoole> that, would, RULE
<Movis> the evil Napster kiddies made Lars Ullrich so poor he had to sell his snare drum & replace it with a tin can
<Ban|Karma|> whats the differents between FreeBSD and Redhat? <Mr_Tux> Ban|Karma|: One's free, the other's crap. You decide. <StiNKy> redhat isn't free?
<nrky> yeh, having a girlfriend tends to fuck up your ability to be on the internet, shit they waste alot of time <Twisted> I want a girl - but on the other hand, she has to have the ability to go into the other room and communicate via IM
< Hippo> i'd be the worst jesus ever, i'd be constantly drunk if i could turn water into wine
Gud> woah.. eating while tranquilised in your mouth isn't exactly an easy task. :D dhn> dentist? Gud> yeah *** dhn hands Gud a straw Gud> dhn: straw? dhn> Come on, you know how to suck ;)
<Robzy> Lol, my dad just asked me "Would you rather take out an ugly girl, or a girl with a nice personality" and i replied "they are the same thing arent they?" and he goes "WOO! You are *MY* son" hehehehe