hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#106661 [ + | - ] 578
<timb> I went into a local burger resturaunt, just a local
town king if thing, pretty small, and I was wearing my I dig
Mac OS X shirt
<Toad> geek
<timb> and the girl at the counter, really cute, about 18 or
19 went "I like your shirt!"
<timb> and I went w00t! and she smilled the biggest smile and
winked at me
<Toad> you _said_ "w00t!"? wow
<timb> yes, I said w00t
<Toad> like "double u zero zero t"?
<timb> no
<Toad> like "woot"
<timb> just plain woot
#106645 [ + | - ] 160
@(TekU4iA) btw
@(TekU4iA) its 195bpm
@(TekU4iA) thanks
@(TekU4iA) K
(thebigo) 195?
(thebigo) who do you think you are? squarepusher?
#106643 [ + | - ] 212
<Mr_Hanky> fubu = Farmers Used to Beat Us?
#106634 [ + | - ] 342
<SpaceMonkey> welp, I'll have to give it a shot after I'm
through downloading concentrated satan
<norse> realplayer?
<SpaceMonkey> quicktime
#106633 [ + | - ] 290
<Mach17> Google: your number one source of not sounding
retarded.
#106628 [ + | - ] 24
<{1000101}> America Jr my ass
<{1000101}> Canada is like We Hate God Damn Iggerent Yank Land
<_seph> you assume th atall of america is either stupid ignant
countryfolk, or rapper wannabes
<{1000101}> We have everything the US has, execpt we did it
right
<_seph> i despise both people
<_seph> yes i always wanted to go to canada to live
<{1000101}> No, I assume that all of the US a) thinks that
*they* are America and b) are iggerent.
#106605 [ + | - ] 242
<kare> The next Microsoft OS will have a new anti piracy
feature: it will come in an arcade cabinet and you'll need to
insert coins to boot it or start a program
#106603 [ + | - ] 281
<GPF> A fart is just a turd honking for right-of-way.
#106602 [ + | - ] 176
<tr0n> OBLIQUE WROTE THE BOOK "101 HOME REMEDIES TO CURE
WANKER'S CRAMP".
<tr0n> AND IS NOW WORKING ON "HOW TO RESTORE RECTAL
ELASTICITY"
#106600 [ + | - ] 413
<Al> you left a burning bag of dogshit on the doorstep of my
heart
#106598 [ + | - ] 209
<Skippy> Why can't women come with a help menu?
<Pi> hah
<Pi> or a manpage
<Pi> or the source code
#106593 [ + | - ] 218
<IWillBeRiteBack> however, I might point out that you've
misapplied your sentiments
<IWillBeRiteBack> for they should obviously be applied to a
certain pathetic individual named Stephan
<sKratch> the only thing that was misapplied was the condom
that allowed you to be born
#106588 [ + | - ] 171
<NickFury> what is your deffinition of "hacker"?
<sta-hi> NickFury: tiger woods drunk.
<sta-hi> wah wah wah wah wahhhh
#106582 [ + | - ] 246
<GuyMontag> What do you call four thousand lawyers?
<BigEars> microsoft
#106581 [ + | - ] 315
<Mog> NECROPHILIA IS SICK AND TWISTED
<Mog> I LIKE MY GIRLS AND BOYS NICE AND ALIVE.
<Mog> -boys
#106580 [ + | - ] 219
<baccus> anybody want the harry potter book in one big html
file?
<whytyf0rd> 900 pages via html isn't fun to read
<whytyf0rd> too bad the printer paper will cost more than the
book
<whytyf0rd> the book is only 15 dollars
<baccus> the printer at work is always free
<whytyf0rd> ITS ONLY 15 DOLLARS
<KungFuGrp> so are most cds whityfOrd
<KungFuGrp> but we download those dont we
#106579 [ + | - ] 276
Topic in #os: hey guyz, stop pickin on irix.
<SCO> w00t! i bought unix! im gonna b so rich!
<novell> /msg atnt haha. idiot.
<novell> whoops. was that out loud?
<atnt> rotfl
<ibm> lol
<SCO> why r u laffin at me?
<novell> dude, unix is so 10 years ago. linux is in now.
<SCO> wtf?
<SCO> hey guyz, i bought caldera, I have linux now.
<red_hat> haha, your linux sucks.
<novell> lol
<atnt> lol
<ibm> lol
<SCO> no wayz, i will sell more linux than u!
<ibm> your linux sucks, you should look at SuSE
<SuSE> Ja. Wir bilden gutes Linux für IBM.
<SCO> can we do linux with you?
<SuSE> Ich bin nicht sicher...
<ibm> *cough*
<SuSE> Gut lassen Sie uns vereinigen.
* SuSE is now SuSE[UL]
* SCO is now caldera[UL]
<turbolinux> can we play?
<conectiva> we're bored... we'll go too.
<ibm> sure!
* turbolinux is now turbolinux[UL]
* conectiva is now conectiva[UL]
<ibm> redhat: you should join!
<SuSE[UL]> Ja! Wir sind vereinigtes Linux. Widerstand ist
vergeblich.
<red_hat> haha. no.
<red_hat> lamers.
<ibm> what about you debian?
<debian> we'll discuss it and let you know in 5 years.
<caldera[UL]> no one wants my linux!
<turbolinux[UL]> i got owned.
<caldera[UL]> u all tricked me. linux is lame.
* caldera[UL] is now known as SCO
<SCO> i'm going back to unix.
<SGI> yeah! want to do unix with me?
<SCO> haha. no. lamer.
<novell> lol
<ibm> snap!
<SGI> :~(
<SCO> hey, u shut up. im gonna sue u ibm.
<ibm> wtf?
<SCO> yea, you stole all the good stuff from unix.
<red_hat> lol
<SuSE[UL]> heraus laut lachen
<ibm> lol
<SCO> shutup. i'm gonna email all your friends and tell them
you suck.
<ibm> go ahead. baby.
<SCO> andandand... i revoke your unix! how do you like that?
<ibm> oh no, you didn't. AIX is forever.
<novell> actually, we still own unix, you can't do that.
<SCO> wtf? we bought it from u.
<novell> whoops. our bad.
<SCO> i own u. haha
<SCO> ibm: give me all your AIX now!
<ibm> whatever. lamer.
* ibm sets mode +b SCO!*@*
* SCO has been kicked from #os (own this.)
#106578 [ + | - ] 431
(+kevin) GOD DAMNIT. WHY DO I HAVE A HABIT OF TOUCHING MY
PENIS WHILE I'M SITTING IN A COMPUTER CHAIR?!?!
#106573 [ + | - ] 166
#Jesus unable to join channel (invite only)
#106572 [ + | - ] 159
<ddMom>i just don't think that telling any woman to forcibly
insert an object up her anus.. is something that should go
without consequences.
<ddDad> I say we buy him a moped.
#106571 [ + | - ] 108
<fronn> smurf gestation is probably like... 48 years...
#106566 [ + | - ] 440
<ehk> anyone know what "PXE-E61: Media test failure, check
cable" mean
<sta-hi> ehk: it means that your PXE-E61 failed
<sta-hi> due to a meida test failure
<sta-hi> you should check your cable
#106564 [ + | - ] 81
<MegaDeth[Away]> hmmm
<MegaDeth[Away]> I like WASTE
<MegaDeth[Away]> WASTE is my FRIEND
<MH2> More people need WASTE
<Luigi30> I excrete WASTE into the TOILET.
<MH2> no
<MH2> That's waste
<MH2> Not WASTE
#106560 [ + | - ] 375
(+Silver) man never have porn and pics of people from irc in
the same folder
(+nixon) you accidently opened nhm's picture while doing the
dirty
(+nixon) didnt you
(+Silver) it was yours
(@CH) I'd just keep going
(+Silver) CH: i didnt say i stopped
#106552 [ + | - ] 318
<crispexi> I guess I have to settle for internet pirate.
Yarrr, sail the seven ISPs.
#106536 [ + | - ] 176
<mpampiz> º*ª*ºº*ª*ºº*ª*ºº*ª*ª  hack the planet ª
ºº*ª*ºº*ª*ºº*ª*ºº*ª*º*
<sta-hi> ...
<sta-hi> no
<sta-hi> hack it yourself
#106531 [ + | - ] 127
<isosceles> remove your pants and do the roast beef dance
#106517 [ + | - ] 553
<@MephistoSan> I'm having deja vu
<@MephistoSan> they must have added something new to the
matrix
<@MephistoSan> :/
<+DHX|cleaningroom> omg they cut the hardline
<+DHX|cleaningroom> GET OUT NOW
<@MephistoSan> GET ME AN EXIT
<+DHX|cleaningroom> AFFIRMATIVE
MephistoSan has left IRC (Quit: Local kill by DHX|cleaningroom
(exit))
#106513 [ + | - ] 203
<CactusJac> Mike Sweetser walks into a bar and orders 6 shots
of tequila. The bartender asks, "Why so many buddy?" Sweetser
replies, "I'm celebrating my first blow job". The bartender
says, "Well hell, congratulations, I will give you one on the
house for free." Sweetser says, "No thank you, if the first 6
shots don't get the taste out of my mouth one more won't make
a difference."
#106507 [ + | - ] 117
<@MooMooCow> what state you live in?
<@waffl0r> indiana
<@waffl0r> you can come here and the numbnuts in the KKK will
burn you on a cross, even if you are white, dumb bastards are
too inbred to tell the difference anymore
<@waffl0r> the idiots here are still too dumb to know the
difference between mangos and green peppers :P
#106500 [ + | - ] 330
<Nicoli_t> Urgh... i feel like such a geek...
<Nicoli_t> so I was in buffalo new york right, and theres this
big like gothic building...
<Nicoli_t> all these little ledges and shit...
<Nicoli_t> So I looked at it... and said to myself "you know
what... that would be a kickass sniping tower in unreal...
<Nicoli_t> i could like, climb that with the translocater
easily..."
<logical_or> lol, geek
<Nicoli_t> thats okay, my friend started identifying what the
radio towers on top of it did, he works at radio shack.
<logical_or> ROFL
#106484 [ + | - ] 170
<@Xaphia> btw can sum1 sort the Office XP out on reload
<@Xaphia> its more corrupt than the cambodian police force
#106460 [ + | - ] 460
<Pedro> And dude, this Wily Castle MIDI rocks the proverbial
socks.
<DarkMatter> An lo' did the sock enjoy the MIDI, whilest the
sinners did cover their ears in shame of their pop music.  And
God smiled upon his creation and said, this rocks omg.
#106459 [ + | - ] 42
<caze> SCO ought to be sued for suing
#106454 [ + | - ] 156
<DarkMatter> THE FIRST COMMANDMENT
<DarkMatter> THOU SHALT NOT HAVE ANY OTHER GODS BEFORE ME.
<DarkMatter> THE SECOND COMMANDMENT
<DarkMatter> STAY OUT OF MY F****** BEER.
#106450 [ + | - ] 380
<Frosty> I hate going into kitchens in Resident Evil. I mean -
you just know that there's something in the 'fridge. There
always is. And you don't want to open the 'fridge, but you
know there's something in there that you need. However, you're
running out of ammo, so you're left with killing a zombie
using nothing more than a toothpick and the urine from pissing
your pants.
#106446 [ + | - ] 216
<navi> HELLO, MY NAME IS ASHLEIGH, AND I AM REAL.
<Chibi-Usa> HELLO
<Chibi-Usa> MY NAME IS CHIBI
<Chibi-Usa> AND I AM A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION
<Frostuman_The_White> HELLO
<Frostuman_The_White> MY NAME IS FROSTUMAN THE WHITE
<navi> and you are going to take over Middle Earth
<Frostuman_The_White> AND I AM AN ALCO---I'M GOD! YES! THAT'S
WHAT I MEANT!
#106442 [ + | - ] 34
<Simofett> Frosty. There's three way to do it, the right way,
the wrong way.. And the Simofett way, which is the wrong way,
but Faster.
#106433 [ + | - ] 37
* emil is now known as Thalos
* Thalos is now known as thal0s
* thal0s is now known as Thalos
* Thalos is now known as emil
<n00bish> *** emil is now known as SOMEONEWHOCANTDECIDEONANAME
#106432 [ + | - ] 594
<John5> ben
<Ben> what
<John5> i dont know how to say this but
<John5> ......
<John5> im gay
<Ben> :|
<Ben> omfg
<Ben> really?
<John5> yeh
<Ben> omfg
<Ben> well
<Ben> good luck
<John5>APRIL FOOL
<Ben> what the fuck are you on?
<Ben> its teh middle of june
<John5> .........fuck
#106431 [ + | - ] 38
@jaban> "I'm going to go on the porn and get my e-mail *cough
cough* I mean the Internet"
@jaban> I don't know how many times I've made that mistake.
@gardah> haha
#106430 [ + | - ] -1107
* SBR_Scythe tosses RSFS_Cheif a Coke
<SBRLestat> a sprite for me scythe
<SBR_Starfire> Hey Scythe, I'll have a cock
<SBR_Starfire> oh my god
<SBR_Starfire> I'm never going to live that one down am I?
<SBR_Scythe> nope
#106429 [ + | - ] 295
<Jim`> Casey loves me, tel.
<Jim`> We're best friends.
<SarahS> Jim is afraid of Casey though.
<Jim`> I WAS because he's SHARP and LOUD, but I'm fine now.
<telarium> Do you help him masturbate?
<Jim`> I played with him and stuff.
<Psitron> ...
<Jim`> Er...
<acdcfanbill> ~_^
<Jim`> Bad timing.
#106427 [ + | - ] 29
<NiceGuyEddie> "The miserly, large-nosed Gargamel is a blatant
Jewish stereotype. Draw your own conclusions"
<Alpha_Omega> PUT GARGAMEL IN THE OVEN THEN, GERMAN
#106414 [ + | - ] 40
<`jon`> oh god this is a joke
<`jon`> 'jon-' is taken :/
<`jon`> /whotheFUCKis jon-
<`jon`> oh shit
-:- Jon- [teppic8@usr449-gat.cableinet.co.uk] has joined #
doomroom
<`jon`> its me
<Jon-> heh
#106393 [ + | - ] 592
<evildoer> EXCERRENT
<Kitsa> what are you babbling on about?
<evildoer> EYE BOUGHT A NEW GITARE AND POLICE QUEST + SWAT
COLACTIAN
<Kitsa> lol
<Kitsa> ah
<evildoer> IT ES TEHS QUALETY GITIR FOR 5 DOLARS
<Kitsa> flea market?
<evildoer> yas
<Kitsa> what did you barter, your spelling ability?
#106390 [ + | - ] 249
<Mad|Mungkee> I was playing everquest once and this guy killed
himself with a shotgun and broadcasted it in East Commons
<Mad|Mungkee> pretty sad
<brasshorse> did his elf die
#106387 [ + | - ] 215
<ogw> I don't remember jack shit about last night, but I got
the IRC logs :-o
#106371 [ + | - ] 251
< zeedo> now the use of nmap in the matrix reloaded, that was
leetnes
in a movie

< mcp33p4n75> and ssh
< zeedo> an ssh exploit no less
< setenv> oh yea and the crc32 vulnerability
18:02:37 < zeedo> I paused it and started explaining it to my
gf, she just
looked at me like I was a moron
#106363 [ + | - ] 76
(jo2): Do you know any help files for vb which are legal to
download ?
(@IRBMe): MSDN?
(@IRBMe): or you could look on the CD's or something
(jo2): i have no cds
(@IRBMe): where did they go?
(jo2): don't know
(jo2): i never had them
(jo2): i have downloaded a trial ver
(@AndyDev): where did u d/l it from?
(jo2): no warez
(@AndyDev): where did u find the trial version?
(jo2): don't know
(jo2): it was 3 month ago
(@AndyDev): then buy the cds
(jo2): ok give me the money
(@AndyDev): OK, download them from here ftp://
warez:download@127.0.0.1
(jo2): it doesn't work