hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#111649 [ + | - ] 65
SlapsterMcFlash: you know what
Phatpandas: what?
SlapsterMcFlash: if you shake your penis long enough, some
juice comes out of it
Phatpandas: some women drink that, i heard
SlapsterMcFlash: ewww..who drinks pea?
#111648 [ + | - ] 92
(@DarkJedi) i hate when people IM you for no reason
(@DarkJedi) i hate talking about nothing
(+chumpman) unless they are hot girls
(+chumpman) then it's like
(+chumpman) keep talking bitch, and maybe I can get inside
your pants
#111642 [ + | - ] 595
Tim Cline: im to lazy
Azu: so lazy that you can't but the second 'o' in too
Tim Cline: indee
#111587 [ + | - ] 377
<tetsu2051> i wish i knew where my keyboard was..
<tetsu2051> oh ya...
#111571 [ + | - ] 423
<Tonberry> MPs do the same thing on a military base as regular
cops do in a city
<metaldark> harass blacks and skaters?
#111569 [ + | - ] 425
* JuhorNieger slaps BlackWolf|Away around a bit with a large
trout
* BlackWolf takes the trout out of Submerge's hands, and puts
it back in the river. (Trout Saved: 96 ~~~><)))'>~~~><)))'>
~~~)
#111564 [ + | - ] 574
<arry75> hi
<Aethelwulf> ?
<arry75> asl pls
<Aethelwulf> Speak english
<arry75> age sex location please
<Aethelwulf> Why does it matter?
<Aethelwulf> 53 male Lituhuania
<arry75> just wannaknow k
<arry75> ok
<arry75> i m looking for a girl
<arry75> i hope u wont mind
<Aethelwulf> Try a place called "outside"
<Aethelwulf> I heard there is quite a few
<arry75> k
<arry75> thanks
<arry75> no body is there
<arry75> any way thanks
#111522 [ + | - ] 776
<Squidwerd> *sings* Ooooooooo-oh
supersadomasochistinecrobestiality, it's when you get a
hard-on making Lassie a fatality!
#111427 [ + | - ] 599
<meeps> i saved a girls life tonight
<DJ-Quack> well meeps?
<meeps> this terrorist came around the corner and tried to
kill her so i shot his head off
<DJ-Quack> omfg meeps
<hpr> lol :P
<meeps> hahaha
<DJ-Quack> you asshole
<DJ-Quack> ;[
<LawnMM> did he respawn?
<meeps> Yeah, next round
#111338 [ + | - ] 17039
<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced
the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...

<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er --
got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They
snapped me wang in half an' everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really
looking forward to.

<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry
Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes.
It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her
first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of
willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany
wang. Eleven inches. "

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his
fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it
swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and
gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing
dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed
Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but
even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up
its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when
he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's
nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's
nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang,
and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he
whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a
fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly,
and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried
to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept
intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother
again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her
again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted
from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded
the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds
they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like
fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip
on his raised wang.
#111330 [ + | - ] 757
/* After a long long idle pause */
<c4_faker> ...silence is a form of consent...
<zeedo> so you can rape a mute woman legally?
<zeedo> nice
<c4_faker> hahahhahaa
<c4_faker> whats she gunna do...scream in sign language?
<c4_faker> :P
<zeedo> yeh, they call it "punching"
#111167 [ + | - ] 182
- #sex unable to join channel (invite only)
#111050 [ + | - ] 524
<tragic> canada is basically USA Expansion Pack
#110790 [ + | - ] 81
<turtletip> a seeing-eye dog was undressing me with its eyes,
so I maced him
<turtletip> it got all frantic and ran its owner infront of a
moving vehicle
<turtletip> pretty funny
#110779 [ + | - ] 231
<dwerg> qiv -femitd 10 `find /home/giel/pr0n | egrep -v
("horse"|"animal")`
<dwerg> Heheh, oeps.
<giel> lol
#110510 [ + | - ] 794
<+DoomSooth> I went to Providence Middle School in Virginia.
<+DoomSooth> The cheerleaders had PMS in big letters on their
uniforms.
#110431 [ + | - ] 210
(InkBlot) From CNN: Rumsfield: Turkey plans will go ahead.
(InkBlot) good to see Thanksgiving won't be canceled this
year.
#110428 [ + | - ] 349
(lupin) Animal Crossing bothers me.  They give you an axe,
they give you a
+shovel.  They give you a vast expanse of tree-covered land.
But they don't
+let you kill and bury people.
#110362 [ + | - ] 76
<ecoli> i think that drugging and assault are an important
part of foreplay
<ecoli> yeah
<ecoli> like
<ettenyl> roofies will do that.
<ecoli> if i wanted something that would fuck me back, i'd
bang a goat.
#110264 [ + | - ] 1041
SA_Williamson> Hello, who is the owner of this channel?
* Knirch goes down for maintenance.
<SA_Williamson> !list
<SA_Williamson> ok
<SA_Williamson> just to let everyone know i have a federal
supena
<SA_Williamson> and will be entering you fileservers lawfully
<Knirch> lol
* Knirch sets mode: +b *!*saw@*.lab.fbi.gov
* dgk2 sets mode: -b *!*saw@*.lab.fbi.gov
<dgk2> not a good idea
<dgk2> Knirch .
<dgk2>  I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n  Nick: SA_Williamson
<dgk2> > Address: saw@pc1xd3.lab.fbi.gov «Government»
<dgk2> > Name: fbi
<dgk2> > SA_Williamson is using modes +ix
<dgk2> > SA_Williamson is connecting from *@pc1xd3.lab.fbi.gov
<dgk2> > Channels: #tvseries
<dgk2> > Server: fla.us.atomicchat.net, Atomic-Chat
<dgk2> > Channels in common with SA_Williamson: #tvseries
<CJdude[20]> whoa
<SkRiBBleZ> ok that's not cool
#110204 [ + | - ] 694
<eva> In Thailand, Police believed a young girl committed
suicide after getting stuck on a level of Bomberman.
<eva> ahhaha thats gold
<Spacecow> 09 Oct 02
<etoilet> i hate suicide bombers
#110038 [ + | - ] 173
<Allahkat> My wedding registry.
<Allahkat> http://shop.hbc.com/giftregistry/
<asshat> I know this is going to read stupid
<asshat> but why do you register
<asshat> to have people by you stuff??
<sueb[work> so people know what kind of gifts you want
<unchellmatt> To get swag, buddy!
<Allahkat> You register so people can buy you stuff that you
picked out for your house.
<asshat> like an amazon wish list.
<unchellmatt> You get gifties!
<Allahkat> So you don't end up with ugly shit.
<asshat> ahh, I see.
<unchellmatt> That's going to happen anyway.
<Albatross> and so you don't get 20 food processors
<aeonite> You can do a lot of things with 20 food processors
<Allahkat> And 50 babies.
#110001 [ + | - ] 228
<splice> a duran, a thomson twin, eddie money, huey lewis, and
keith richards
<splice> get those clowns together and you've got cocaine
voltron
#110000 [ + | - ] 357
<scanline> What's the past tense of netsplit? netsplat?
#109855 [ + | - ] 16
<Shads> fuk owning a honda
<Shads> thats the same as addmitting u have a small penis
<Shads> :/
#109801 [ + | - ] 166
<caesium> dude, like 2 years ago.. i was on the great canadian
mine buster at wonderland and my tits were osciallting in a
very unflattering way.. since then, ive known i needed to
loose weight.
#109624 [ + | - ] 697
<uTi|Veridian> my HLTV tops out at about 30 people - then lags
like your mom
<cyde> so tell me... if i used my mom in conjunction with your
server... could we top 60?
<uTi|Veridian> can your mom handle 30 teenage boys?
<cyde> the question is....can 30 teenage boys....handle my
mom?
#109611 [ + | - ] 197
<Rowdy> Do ppl even test this shit?
<Rowdy> Bloody FreeBSD.  It was better when it was elite and
there were no fucking n00bz submitting lame ports.
<Rowdy> I may have to switch to OpenBSD, just to be snooty.
#109533 [ + | - ] 37
<KeeperX> if i say anything nonsensical
<KeeperX> i'm cleaning my keyboard
<KeeperX> sjkl;'
<KeeperX> fvgbhnjkl;'ccfvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvb n  bvcxzxcvbbnm,.
/,mnbvcxzAsdfghjkl;';lkjhwqwertyuioip['
<KeeperX> k
<KeeperX> i'm done
<KeeperX> there were pubes in my keyboard
<KeeperX> i dunno how they got there
<Todd> sick
#109531 [ + | - ] 71
<klafka> it's a sign your an irc nerd
<klafka> if a song makes you want to type
#109501 [ + | - ] 299
<drag-n> system uptime: 16h43m40s
<drag-n> the sad thing is
<drag-n> i've been at the pc the whole time.
#109385 [ + | - ] 309
<@Phae> we could get a hooker, and patch it with a gf crack...
then it'd be free,a nd you wouldn't have to register it
#109376 [ + | - ] 843
<@deez> yeah there's like 6 of us... with the same sense of
humor in here
<Skail> who's using it now?
#109345 [ + | - ] 261
<Phylitsa> Woo hoo! One girl and 7 unidle guys!
<Phylitsa> Lets play "Spin the Attention Whore"
<Novasol> Sounds like a gangbang waiting to happen
#109334 [ + | - ] 207
* CanNinja masturbates.
<OB1> .......
* OB1 turns around
<CanNinja> It's not like I'm spraying you in the face or
anything.
#109330 [ + | - ] 356
* meek has joined #8-bit.theater
<meek> 3600 penises
* meek has left #8-bit.theater
<CanNinja> That was random.
<BrvFencer> That was meek.
#109306 [ + | - ] 309
<Phylitsa> bath, brb
<Kiz> videotaping innocent teenagers. brb
#109297 [ + | - ] 78
<+sampson> i'm such a fag i setup winxp to look like osx
#109288 [ + | - ] 112
<s_> well
<s_> i have button and string shorts
<troop> I'll bet
<s_> and its hell to go to the bathroom
<s_> so i just lift my short leg up
<s_> and pee out the side
<troop> lol
#109270 [ + | - ] 348
<Melkor> ===== Question 9518/10000  =====
<Melkor> the chinese ideograph with two women under one roof
means what?
<Melkor> Hint: @@@@@@@
<Xylus2> incest
<UltraSSJ> free porn
<Xylus2> lesbian
#109230 [ + | - ] 231
<Firestorm-> my parents
<Firestorm-> lol
<Firestorm-> they walked in on my once
<Firestorm-> that.. sucked.
<Firestorm-> seriously
<Firestorm-> nope
<Firestorm-> they walked in, screamed, left.
<Firestorm-> and I continued
<Hinkey> you continued after they left?
<Hinkey> you sick fuck
<Firestorm-> yes Hinkey I finished up.
<Firestorm-> and then I screamed at them
#109225 [ + | - ] 282
<S|ip> if I wanted to see scenery I'd go to google. Like, I
know the resolution would be better if I actually decided to
go hiking, but I'd have to get up...
#109111 [ + | - ] 533
<Thel> "You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since
the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor
system. Please delete all the files from your computer. Thank
you for your cooperation."
* SephirothTheOneWingedAngel (~uole@130.39.47.11) Quit
(gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
* SporkBad (~LanceBad@148.246.78.170) Quit
(gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
* Sir_Spankspeople (PsychoSam_@216.58.5.5 Quit
(gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
* Ace|werk (~Cartoonis@206.169.51.19) Quit
(gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
#108997 [ + | - ] 126
<oDDY> did u take a picture :(
<oDDY> of ur new shirt :(
<OoROng> nah
<rcg> your shirt won't be new by then
<rcg> so you can't take a picture of it
<OoROng> it'll still be semi-new :D
<OoROng> technically, i'vehad it like a month
<OoROng> but i haven't had the balls to wear it out
<rcg> what's it say?
<OoROng> VVVVVVVVVVVVVV
<OoROng> VVVVVVVVVVVVVV
<OoROng> VVVVVVVVVVV
<oDDY> ...
<OoROng> it's a fishnet shirt
<oDDY> ooo!
<oDDY> sexy X_x
<rcg> oh
#108825 [ + | - ] 314
(@^duckman^) shit i ate soap brb
#108730 [ + | - ] 278
<RjT> I just fucked a chipmunk
<Osmosis> erm
<RjT> ah shit wrong window
#108714 [ + | - ] 188
Jpfan01 :if guys didn't have orgasms sometimes like women did
Wolf3055 :that would suck
Jpfan01 :we'd be killing entire city blocks
Jpfan01 :and rioting
#108711 [ + | - ] 900
+(norad) if you rearrange the letters in mother in law, you
get woman hitler :/
#108710 [ + | - ] 39
<Exor> SHOIT
<kevin> hahahahahahaha
<Exor> yea ive been thinking british lately
#108702 [ + | - ] 20
* Joins: |scott|
(scott@dialup-63.209.124.98.Dial1.Orlando1.Level3.net)
<|scott|> is anyone here
<|scott|> damn this sucks
<|scott|> i feel like a homeless 88 year old
<|scott|> i shit my pants in Wallgreens today
<|scott|> looked like pancake syrup was coming out of my ass
<|scott|> wtf is wrong with me
<|scott|> :(
<|scott|> i hate my ass
<|scott|> its getting back at me for all the spicy food i eat
<madman`> sick
<[mizi]> scott you're like a child.
<[mizi]> what the hell is wrong with you
<obs1d1an> ack dude
<obs1d1an> better learn some fuckin muscle control son