hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#113511 [ + | - ] 821
<WoG> wanna play me in UT J?
<J_Dawg007> Sure, I just got it again. Gimme a few minutes to
practice though, I need to learn to nut suck again.
<WoG> lmao
<J_Dawg007> Err... not*
<J_Dawg007> Great, I'm never gonna live THAT one down..
#113443 [ + | - ] 113
<`Hunter> Dutch tv sounds really shite, the only good stuff is
what you steal off us :/
<RevMonsta> wtf your right
<RevMonsta> he is giving a sausage a blowjob
#113423 [ + | - ] 150
<Locke> I went on an exciting box and pie adventure.   <Locke>
It wasn't nearly as sexual as it sounds.
#113418 [ + | - ] 274
<memo> I AM NOW TAKING REQUESTS REGARDING PRESSING SPECIFIC
LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET AND THEN HITTING ENTER   <memo> IF
ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST A LETTER PLEASE DO SO NOW AND I
WILL TYPE IT
#113409 [ + | - ] 151
<Radien> I give up. The PSO server is repremanding me like an
angry Jewish mother-in-law played by Mike Meyers.
#113403 [ + | - ] 34
<Wonderland> uhoh.   <Gayo> ?   <Wonderland> i seem to have
glued 2 of my fingertips together with superglue
<Wonderland> like..seriously.   <Wonderland> i cant get them
apart   <Wonderland> OW   <Wonderland> nm   <Wonderland> ican
#113367 [ + | - ] 29
[2:22p] quits.. YT[Ping timeout]
[2:24p] joins.. YT
[2:24p] (Orion) wb
[2:24p] (Phae) wb
[2:24p] (YT) you know when you get real excited and
accidentally pull out a plug?
[2:24p] (Phae) haha
[2:24p] (YT) with your toe
[2:24p] (Phae) yeah
#113365 [ + | - ] 238
<Gayo> vecna was a swarthy pirate?   <McGrue> Indeed.
<McGrue> He has to mark 'Other' on the census, and fills in
"Pirate: Swarthy" in the supplied field.
#113333 [ + | - ] 567
<Zaratustra> I am an agnostic Jehovah's Witness. I knock on
people's doors, but I'm not sure why.
#113319 [ + | - ] 658
<Ratzilla> I rest my cake.
#113308 [ + | - ] 371
<Gayo> Welsh phonetics baffle me.   <Zaratustra> That's how
the Welsh managed to survive.   <Gayo> And that Welsh VERGEr
wasn't much help either.   <vecna> "Lets go conquer the Welsh
city of ....  er, fuckit.
#113297 [ + | - ] 175
<aen> I look somewhat akin to a pensive crackwhore waiting for
cock suckage, vexed that it hasn't come to pass.
#113264 [ + | - ] 205
tempest666_10913 *DING DONG*
<§kÌÑõfë/¡£420_46157> You're not a Jehovah's Witness, are you?
#113234 [ + | - ] 487
<bunny> i thought NZ was bad
<bunny> you go to a US news site, and its like.. the same but
like 10x bigger
<bunny> we have like one person accidentlly drove of a cliff
<bunny> they have three busloads drove off a cliff, when the
driver of another car got out a machine gun and blew them to
crap
<bunny> alllllllllways gotta be better eh?
<bunny> all followed by a penguin riding a tricycle
#113232 [ + | - ] 375
<Snowman>: if you had to describe me in 50 words or less, what
would you say?
(i)alex: 50 words or lesss...
(i)alex: hmmm
(i)alex: is cock loving one word or two?
#113211 [ + | - ] 55
<FoxBot> {MoxQuizz} The question no. 32 is:
<FoxBot>            (Things) What is the fear of darkness
known as
<Stonetree> africaphobia
#113200 [ + | - ] 642
<Sketchee> I'm searching for porn and see one "Russian
soldier"
<Sketchee> ... it wasn't porn!
<Grifter> o..kay
<Grifter> In Soviet Russia, the porn finds YOU!
<Sketchee> It was faces of death
<Grifter> What was it?
<Sketchee> The guy was being held to the ground
<Sketchee> And then they spliced his throat open
<Sketchee> And stuff was poring out
<Grifter> hm
<Sketchee> And there was screaming but most of that was from
me
#113195 [ + | - ] 253
<%Zero> then i broke my wrist in the growth plate twice
<%Zero> once snowboarding
<@mjc> ok.....
<%Zero> and a fat kid fell on me
<@Mike> ROFLMAO
<@mjc> hehehehehehehehehe
<%Zero> :(
<%Zero> it hurt
<%Zero> the kid was running
<%Zero> tripped on his shoe lace
<%Zero> and crushed me
<@Mike> lmao
#113152 [ + | - ] 172
<Acidfreek> Last time I was pimped I ended up being banned
from Sea World and I had Herpes
#113143 [ + | - ] 34
<Agent5> i hear gold is rare up in canada
<Agent5> sort of like finding a straight priest
* Agent5 (CUE LAUGHTER)
<Xenocide> lol
<FrEEk> lol
<Xenocide> i get it
#113142 [ + | - ] 33
(@niki-luv): those hurt my teeths
(@grimreap): maddox
(nuttso): only americans would have to provide the s
(nuttso): otherwise its assumed that you'll have more than 1
tooth
(nuttso): like canadians for example
#113133 [ + | - ] 216
<PsychoDreameR> i want a good war script
<PsychoDreameR> when can i get one??
<placid> www.nato.com
#113123 [ + | - ] 415
<euphoria> we had drugs sex and rock and roll now all we have
is aids crack and techno
#113121 [ + | - ] 46
<moocow39>do you like to masterbate?
<beaverchild110>why are you asking questions like that?
<moocow39>do you really want to know?
<beaverchild110>yes tell me!
<moocow39>because i am a single horny 48 year old man thats
why!
#113110 [ + | - ] 331
<AfraidOfAmericans> I have money that smells like marijuana
smoke
<AfraidOfAmericans> I am annoyed.
<Popples> I like the normal smell of money.
<AfraidOfAmericans> heh.
<AfraidOfAmericans> you mean cocaine?
#113108 [ + | - ] 545
<FFFFFFFF1> has anyone been sky diving?
<bobbles> i fell down some stairs
<bobbles> does that count
#113106 [ + | - ] 152
<AH6969> that's univ. irvine
<AH6969> that college is like 60% azn
<SKID> I bet the parking lot is like a used Honda lot
<AH6969> there's a few expensive bmws and benzs in there
<SKID> yeah....those are the japanese kids
<SKID> and all the piece of shit cars with like dents and shit
are the teachers cars
#113032 [ + | - ] 1084
<Inuyasha> Those guys at bash must have some sort of
auto-accept system with quotes
<Inuyasha> Either that or the guys that approve them are both
racist and blind
#113023 [ + | - ] 1039
<`Sonny-Michaels> Oh good lord
<`Sonny-Michaels> As if www.mofo.com wasn't bad enough
<`Sonny-Michaels> You know the company Powergen?
<@Evil-PR-Director> uh oh
<`Sonny-Michaels> I'm told they're starting to move into Italy
<`Sonny-Michaels> Using the suffix Italia tacked onto the corp
name
<`Sonny-Michaels> That's wrong in more ways than I want to
think about
<@Evil-PR-Director> yeah...
<`Sonny-Michaels> Specially since they spelled it out for the
url
<`Sonny-Michaels> http://www.powergenitalia.com/
#113017 [ + | - ] 971
<hobbit> hey dude... are your ears burning?
<Dude> no
<hobbit> Ah... damn... I need to tweak my voodoo doll then.
<hobbit> Feeling any groin pain?
<Dude> heh no
<hobbit> hrm.... How about a scratchy throat?
<hobbit> something simple..
<Dude> nope
<hobbit> bah... the Book of E-Vile said this would work...
<Dude> i disabled remote access in controll panel
<hobbit> hrm.... that might be it.
<Dude> ya gotta be secure
<hobbit> hrm... lemme try something else... ::invokes the
mighty god Hastur:: HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR!
<hobbit> Anything now?
<Dude> hmmm... i read uf nope
<hobbit> you missing your eternal soul?
* Dude checks
<Dude> it sez under properties it was never installed
<hobbit> bah
<hobbit> Now I have Hastur sitting in my living room demanding
an eternal soul... and I'm fresh out..
<Dude> nice knowing ya
#112974 [ + | - ] 168
<HL|Batman> Sorry,
<HL|Batman> Trick or treeters.
<HL|Batman> I had to hide bodies.
#112863 [ + | - ] 225
(ravnos) im 'ol schoo'
(misfit_) just because you computer is 7 years old and you
have a dialup doesnt make you oldschool :P
#112807 [ + | - ] 621
<Costilled> "I run Linux." T-shirts
<Costilled> availible in sizes L to XXXXL
#112686 [ + | - ] 196
(oscarb) so uhm
(oscarb) a/s/l
(session_xo) 52/f/thailand
(oscarb) marry me
(session_xo) why?
(oscarb) because i like orange juice
#112614 [ + | - ] 324
<Shuichi-k> I learn something new everyday
<Shuichi-k> whether it be about norse religion or how far a
man can stretch his ass
<Shuichi-k> ah, irc
#112373 [ + | - ] 825
<railor> then there comes this really hot nurse chick and i
like get an instant hard-on
<railor> she asks me if i'm ok and leaves. i tell to myself
"what a fine piece of ass!" so i grab my dick and start
whacking off like mad
<HaiFlick> so you've started jerking off to that nurse after
you had been drunk like hell and woke up in the hospital?
<railor> yeah, but then suddenly a woman next to me started
crying really loud. i couldn't see her due to the curtain
though
<HaiFlick> lol
<railor> turns out it was my wife
#112326 [ + | - ] 83
<@Lathiat> mmm http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/
0,4057,6714208%255E15306,00.html
<evilgoat> who cares?
<evilgoat> http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/
0,4057,6710527%255E1702,00.html
<evilgoat> now thats news
<BenZor> rofl, this in an IT/ISP Geek channel
<BenZor> ipV6 vs Monkeys go on rampage.... and monkeys win.
<evilgoat> hell yeah
#112174 [ + | - ] 158
(Omnicronx): i overclocked my penis and it caught on fire
#112152 [ + | - ] 49
<IrCmOnKeY> if i had a girl she would have to be all into
svcd-ts
#112032 [ + | - ] 583
<Vamp_Boy> Arguing with the ops is like shaking your fist at
God. There's nobody there; and if there is, he's not
listening. And if he's listening, all you're doing is pissing
him off.
#112029 [ + | - ] 236
--- Hairball is now known as t3h_h0r5|3
<Enos_Shenk> teh horse?
<t3h_h0r5|3> horsie
<t3h_h0r5|3> lmfao
<Enos_Shenk> hah
<Enos_Shenk> no man
<Enos_Shenk> thats not leet
<Enos_Shenk> this is leet
>>> You(Enos_Shenk) are now known as my_l1ttl3_p0ny
<my_l1ttl3_p0ny> PHEEEEER
<youm0nt2> you mean ph34r
<my_l1ttl3_p0ny> oh yeah
#112015 [ + | - ] 174
<aNuBiS-> Italians got it made
<aNuBiS-> The luxury of being tan, the convenience of not
being black
#112010 [ + | - ] 515
<sampson> rad, that link crashed my browser in the middle of
booking a flight
<sampson> EXCELLENT
<sampson> THANKS!
<aves2k> sorry if your browser doesn't support new Internet
technologies
<aves2k> like JPG
#111996 [ + | - ] 13
<gothdaria> i'd suck on a dick longer if the guy didn't have
hair
#111888 [ + | - ] 331
-!- Hella has joined #hithere
<Hella> yo
<Hella> screem
<screem> hi hel
<Hella> yo set me Op
<screem> nah I won't
<Hella> why not?`
<Hella> you did before man
<sceem> yeh ... that was BEFORE you kicked everyone out becuz
they didn't want to talk about their sexual fetishes
<Hella> Hey! I kicked them becuz they were swearing like
don't-know-what - and they KNEW this is an PG-13 channel!
<screem> yah, sure
<compL33Tly> what r u guyz up to
<Hella> THEY DID SWEAR! I JUST KICKED THEM BECUZ THEY WERE
SWEARING AND YOU KNOW I HATE SWEARING!
<screem> forget it bro
<Hella> NOW GODDAMN IT I WANT TO BE A FUCKIN OP BECUZ I THINK
I CAN HANDLE THEM COCKSUCKING CUSSERS! OP ME BITCH!
-!- Hella has been kicked from #hithere (Reason: No Cussing
allowed)
#111872 [ + | - ] 473
<siruv> FUCK!
<siruv> FUCK!
<pussydog> wats wrong?
<siruv> i just sent an email of porn pics to a friend
<siruv> got the email addy from my address book
<siruv> but "dad" is next to "dave"
<siruv> i chose "dad"
<siruv> didn't realise till after it was sent
<siruv> FUCK!
#111854 [ + | - ] -10
CTCP VERSION reply from Khaled: eggdrop v1.6.15
#111835 [ + | - ] 461
*** Ettin|Succubi is now known as Moses
<Moses> /part #oceans
#111805 [ + | - ] 687
<netw3rkd> i was going through my parents dresser and found a
sock full of weed and took some
<netw3rkd> oh shit my mom is behind me
*** netw3rkd has Quit (Connection reset by peer)
#111791 [ + | - ] 10
<mibi> my sheets are so come stained and crusty its like
sleeping on a crumpled origami blanket