hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 2 in Moderation Queue
#137512 [ + | - ] 420
<Rowdy> I made a really evil alarm for myself this morning.
<Stoney> An evil alarm?
<Rowdy> sleep 21600 && cat /kernel > /dev/audio
<Rowdy> Turn your speakers to max and do that.
<Rowdy> It is MEAN.
<matt> i have lots of kewl mp3 mixing software atm :)
<Rowdy> Think like an air raid siren crossed with a million
babies crying in unison.
<matt> .. and then were suddenly silenced?
<Rowdy> HAHAHAHAHAA
<Rowdy> ROFL
<Rowdy> That's the shit.
#137480 [ + | - ] 433
<NekoNick> And you claim to be sentient?
<RaZorblade>
sentient???????????????????????????????????????????????
<NekoNick> I guess that answers my question.
#137437 [ + | - ] 1605
<@parasyte> I went straight towards my room where my nice
large full size bed I had since I was 5 years old awaited me.
I opened the door and...
<@parasyte> ... there is my sister, riding her fat boyfriend,
fucking his brains out.
<@parasyte> My first thought was, "Wow, she had perky tits".
My second thought was, "Wow, so does he",
#137411 [ + | - ] 330
<flint`> well
<flint`> this wc3 channel has taught me one thing about korea
<flint`> they have completely abolished sexism
<flint`> and now they all just act like girls
#137362 [ + | - ] 310
<KrudOnAStick> haha i read a story about a brazilian dude who
married a blow up sex doll
<KrudOnAStick> his parents told him to divorce it and he
killed them
#137351 [ + | - ] 599
<jeebas> seems like i have quite a few kids on ebay
<jeebas> err bids
#137342 [ + | - ] 694
<mightious> it would be cool to get attacked my a monster or
something, I mean think of the stories
<mightious> or if you died you'd be a hero
<Hidden_7> yah, I prepare for monster attacks daily
<Hidden_7> cause imagine if you WERE a hero
<mightious> I have garlic incase of vampires, and a cross
incase of a vampire, and on the rare chance of a vampire I
have holy water
<mightious> ...actually im only prepared for vampires
#137338 [ + | - ] 467
moonman137: (she has no clue)
moonman137: (does putting it in these not let her see it?)
waymon04: (i think so)
#137314 [ + | - ] 454
bob2 | fuck, my room is like a bad text adventure!
tb | The top of my monitor is too thin to fit anything, unless
I glue it on.
bob2 | > take thermos
bob2 | the thermos lid falls off, spilling boiling water all
over you!
bob2 | you die!
bob2 | play again (y/n)?
Faugn | no
#137313 [ + | - ] 235
<Joe> reich as in shut the fuck up, you're a fag
<Reich> OOh
<Reich> coming from a guy who had cyber-sex witha guy
<Sabdo> ...
<Sabdo> wtf do you think the internet is FOR?
#137303 [ + | - ] 501
<Techdeck> note to self: www.manpages.com is NOT an online
resource to get *nix man pages
#137295 [ + | - ] 193
<@dura> I want a game that will actually scare me.
<@Billy-Away> resident evil
<@Billy-Away> is ok scary
<Lil_Dude> the first resident evil when i was like 5
<@dura> like a mexican farm simulator, that would scare me.
#137258 [ + | - ] 973
<CommanderStab> ARgh
<CommanderStab> What kind of a stupid crossword
<CommanderStab> Has the hint "Rhino"
<CommanderStab> And then the answer is "Rhino" >_<
#137243 [ + | - ] 302
[@revmoo]: O_o
[@revmoo]: I love windows
[@revmoo]: I unpack a divx on k:
[@revmoo]: and it tells me
[@revmoo]: "C: is running out of space"
#137222 [ + | - ] 596
< krept_> tomorrow is going to be cool
< krept_> i'm going to have real friends
< krept_> SCREW THIS INTERNET BULLSHIT
<@meth> going to get a few new action figures?
< krept_> nah, just unpacking them finally
#137189 [ + | - ] 57
* SHIT` happens
* Katsmall happens, too.
#137186 [ + | - ] 61
<campd> "Multiple Murder Bob" would be an awesome name for an
action figure.
<snorp> or a band
#137167 [ + | - ] 1345
<Exelcesior> I take it ALLL back about greenpeace type
fanatics
<Exelcesior> no offence Ed
<Ed> hmm?
<Exelcesior> i was feeling suicidally bored so I visited a
friend who's pretty enviro friendly
<Exelcesior> and I was talking to him as he watered his lawn,
when this car pulled up
<Exelcesior> and this fat guy mooned him
<Exelcesior> so he screamed "FUCK! BEACHED WHALE!!" and turned
the hose on him
<Ed> well, you have to keep them hydrated
#137086 [ + | - ] 432
<StorDuff> heh, just asked about what pieces people would
recommend in #opera, turns out it's about the browser
#137079 [ + | - ] 668
<+kostya> what means "+" befor my nick?
<@chopra> kostya: it means someone made a mistake
#137032 [ + | - ] 464
* The_Cat plays 'Godsmack - Voodoo'
<T-112> playing: Daft Punk & Stardust - Music Sounds Better
with You.mp3  128kbps 6.77min
<T-112> randomly..
* %Storm plays: Look I'm fucking special cause I'm telling
everyone what shitty music I'm listening to by The No one
gives a fucks
<Gnome> Good song.
#137011 [ + | - ] 164
Entsuropi: uhm, im out to see tomb raider 2 at 6:30
Pete: and WHY would you want to do a thing like that?
Entsuropi: tomb raider one was a highly entertaining piece of
trash
Entsuropi: and jolie looks hot in the trailers
Entsuropi: its like porn with gunfire
#137010 [ + | - ] 315
<YumCimil> I'd really hate someone to have a website
containing all the stupid things I'd said.
<Beagl> bash.org ?
#136992 [ + | - ] 225
<Pedsdude> ok...............
<Pedsdude> i said this:
<Pedsdude> friends should be here any min.  so i will not be
on until tuesday
<Pedsdude> it translated to this in dutch:
<RamboSnakey|NH> rofl
<Pedsdude> Vrienden zouden hier enig min moeten zijn. Zo zal
ik op tot Dinsdag niet zijn
<Pedsdude> it translated back to this in english:
<RamboSnakey|NH>
roflroflroflroflorlforlrolroflfroflroflroflrorlforlforlf
<Pedsdude> Friends will here simply wet nurse must be.  As
will I on until Tuesday are not
<Pedsdude> HAHAHAHA
<RamboSnakey|NH> LOL
<[WS]DeMoNiTe> wtf? LOL
#136942 [ + | - ] 360
(OvrLrd-Q) my longest pw was a case sensitive @ 26
(killjoy) i never use long ones.
(OvrLrd-Q) easily breakable by a slightly modified dictionary
though :)
(OvrLrd-Q) was
(OvrLrd-Q) weapon from game + weapon from game + beverage
ingredient
(OvrLrd-Q) crap
(OvrLrd-Q) that reminds me
(OvrLrd-Q) that 'beverage ingredient' is my root pw for my
*nix box
(killjoy) caffiene !?!?!?
killjoy starts scanning ovrlrd's ip range
(killjoy) ITS THERE SOMEWHARE
(OvrLrd-Q) WTF
#136937 [ + | - ] 601
rebelustionist: and I accidentlu said fuck in class liek 20
times
Dekkar5: rofl
rebelustionist: luckily she was a cool teacher
Dekkar5: what did the teach do
rebelustionist: she gave me one fuck a week
Dekkar5: !
rrebelustionist: the word
rebelustionist: that is
rebelustionist: ....
Dekkar5: o that didnt sound right...
#136929 [ + | - ] 770
Axion: u know
Axion: one day
Axion: the FBI's gonna bang down my door thinking im a
pedophile
Axion: and then realize im only 16
Axion: lol
Alucard: bwahahaha
#136914 [ + | - ] 670
<CptPlanet> i wish it was still legal to buy black people
because i'd have six of them follow me around at all times
just acting cool.
#136899 [ + | - ] 535
<Ross> What are they naming the bastard child?
<Tiffany> she wants to call the baby Rochel if it's a girl
<Ross> hooker name
<Tiffany> and they will probably name it Vampire Hunter D if
it's a boy
<Ross> I'd name my kid something totally badass, regardless of
the sex
<Ross> Like
<Ross> Tyranocore
<Ross> Or Vader
#136867 [ + | - ] 207
*** Nezzie (~armond@adsl-154-136-51.jan.bellsouth.net) has
joined #phphelp
<Nezzie> Wow they really need to put a warning label on that.
<Nezzie> apparantly /sbin/fastboot should be called /sbin/
fastREboot
#136855 [ + | - ] -61
<YowYow> whatsupi my niggers
<cse> And I even got on IRC and told eric when it happened heh
<YowYow> heh
<pb> <YowYow> ewoao aoe aoe owo ap ifp ie jan fpa aepi a efajp
<pb> that makes just as much sense man
<YowYow> mike btw
<YowYow> i have a mp3 u shoud listen to
<YowYow> its not done by me
<YowYow> but
<YowYow> not copyright whatsoever
<Ed> an*
<Ed> you*
<Ed> it's*
<Ed> copyrighted*
<Ed> etc..
<YowYow> ?
<Ed> -_-
<pb> ahahahhahhaha
<Ed> ah
<Ed> should*
<Ed> fuckin missed one -_-
#136840 [ + | - ] 578
<Dock> Tristan: We understand, you're just brain damaged.
<Dock> We know you find those "things" fun, your POV is warped
and it's OK.
<Dock> We'll all smile and talk behind your back.
<Tristan> OH YEAH
<Tristan> ATLEAST I DATE INSIDE MY SPECIES, YOU WENT OUTSIDE
OF YOURS WHEN YOU DID IT WITH MY MOM
<Tristan> SO THERE
#136835 [ + | - ] 665
(Pyr0s): !tp
(@N0VA): I'm a little teapot
(@CHR0N0S): short and stout
(@N0VA): Here is my handle
(@CHR0N0S): here is my spout
(@N0VA): When i get all steamed up
(@CHR0N0S): then i shout
(@N0VA): tip me over
*** N0VA was kicked by CHR0N0S (KICK YOU OUT!! :)
#136834 [ + | - ] 139
<bLacKywiNg> my ass hurts really bad right now...
<bLacKywiNg> i haven't ridden one in a long time!
<bLacKywiNg> but it was a really smooth ride once u get on it
#136832 [ + | - ] 260
<_nihil> Fuck you. :P
<TheFuck> Too late.
<_nihil> Fuck off? :P
<TheFuck> It's stuck.
#136830 [ + | - ] 716
* kitty notes his other keyboard actually has macro keys on
it...
<Bandit> youre a guy?
#136816 [ + | - ] 675
<McRick> I was watching a program on TV, and someone with an
English accent said 'And God bless all who sail in her" and
the closed captioning read "[speaking in foreign language]".
#136813 [ + | - ] 1336
jeremy: one does not give miss poppins a 'throat full of
cock', you fucking heathen
#136805 [ + | - ] 497
[BoardMasta] you hate how sean runs stuff because he has no
idea what he is doing
[Areoaelw] seans not the brightest cake on the candle :(
#136804 [ + | - ] 418
racer-x: i cant smell sarcasm over irc
ryan0: get closer to the screen
#136763 [ + | - ] 409
<GD[IceCream]> brb, eating ice cream and blueberries. ^_^
<The_Ayatollah> blueberries piss me off
<The_Ayatollah> if you step on one, they're not even friggin'
blue
<The_Ayatollah> lying bastard fruits
#136744 [ + | - ] 177
<pixagen> i might be a mac zealot if i was a rich white kid
who's parents spoiled him
<pixagen> or maybe a yuppie
* natx changes topic to 'Don't hate the user, hate the shiny
luxurious girl getting industrial design.'
<pixagen> EXPENSIVE design, you fuckass
<pixagen> they need a line of UGLY systems
<pixagen> so i can buy one
<natx> yeah, ugly macs for ugly people
<natx> ugly poor people
<pixagen> hehe
<natx> wait they have those...
<natx> theyre called
<natx> DELLS
<natx> you fucktard
<pixagen> eeek
<pixagen> shut up cracker
#136740 [ + | - ] 234
<konik> First of all let me say that Mac zealots should be
rounded up into cattle cars, gassed to death and incinerated
to make certain there is no remaining genetic material that
might infect the rest of the gene pool.
<pixagen> amen
<pixagen> there is a guy at work who always tells people that
their system would never fail, be slow, freeze, or cause
stress if it was a Mac
<pixagen> i tried to stab him but he is nimble and spry
<natx> tell him i love him
#136734 [ + | - ] 302
<loko> im not speak spanish
<loko> I use a translator
<Kitsa> what language do you speak?
<loko> spanish
#136597 [ + | - ] 961
<seraph> does anyone here have the Matrix 1?
<comet_11> searph
<comet_11> just search for the matrix reloaded
<seraph> noooo
<seraph> i want the FIRST one
<seraph> the original
<comet_11> yes
<comet_11> I'm saying if you search for reloaded, you'll find
the first one
<comet_11> you made the mistake of searching for the first
matrix
<comet_11> that'll get you fight club
#136593 [ + | - ] 377
<Volt9000> oy this is lame
<Volt9000> some 3 year old "genius" kid
<Volt9000> WOW HE KNOWS THE CAPITALS OF COUNTRIES
<DopefishJustin> omfg
<Volt9000> YEAH THAT MAKES HIM A GENIUS
<DopefishJustin> autistic more likely
<Volt9000> ROFL!!!!
<DopefishJustin> or maybe just a fucking dork
<Volt9000> :D
<Roger|tehsleep> OMG WHAT'S THE CAPITAL OF MEXICO?!
"vuenezuela" YOU GENIUS
<Volt9000> that autistic comment was awful :D
<Volt9000> ROFL ROGER
* Volt9000 can't breathe
<DopefishJustin> it's Mexico City, not one of the harder
capitols :P
<Roger|tehsleep> i know that
<Roger|tehsleep> vuenezuela is the capital of peru, silly
<DopefishJustin> oh yeah
#136569 [ + | - ] 1123
<+Starvin`Marvin> over here in my country , im a real sex
object
<+RonaldMcD|afk> looool
<+Starvin`Marvin> whenever i ask girls for sex ... they object
<+Bastaard> LOL!
#136553 [ + | - ] 639
<VerrySpecialUnit> i have 30gb of games now...
<VerrySpecialUnit> and 10 gigs of apps
<hamms> and 0gig of a life
#136550 [ + | - ] 909
<DreadS> wow
<DreadS> evl - are you shrooming ?
<evl> dude
<evl> i wish
<evl> that way i could goto bed comforted
<DreadS> E ?
<evl> knowing there wasnt a goddamned vampire
<evl> flyin around my house
#136534 [ + | - ] 5101
<Raven> Come, boy wonder! We shall rid the world of crime!
<monkeymilk> yes! together we will thwart evil-doers and
criminals alike!
<Raven> To the batcave!
<monkeymilk> wait, my download just finished
<monkeymilk> 20 minutes of gun point rape
<monkeymilk> or so the description says
* monkeymilk is away - away
<Raven> ...Maybe he's trying to think up ways to save the
girl. =/
<Robocop> he never said girl, could be two guys
<Raven> ...
<Raven> So, Robocop, are you prepared to clense the world of
evil in the name of justice, as my trusty sidekick?
<Robocop> no i'm busy trying to find a good site for making a
pipe-bomb
* Raven is starting to think IRC isn't the best place to start
his superhero campaign.