hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21117 Approved Quotes | 3 in Moderation Queue
#139483 [ + | - ] 321
<BLIZZ> the Xbox 2 will include high-end gaming hardware, a
mini-fridge capable of holding an entire case of soda or beer,
an air-conditioning unit, a four slice toaster, a TIVO unit,
cup holders, a diaper changing table, a trash can, and a
refillable toothpaste reservoir. Even the new extra large
controllers - designed specifically for use by basketball
players - will incorporate heated buttons and miniature LCD
screens so you don't miss out on any of the action
<BLIZZ> but thats just my prediction.......
<around-Bellerophon> no way...not gonna happen....they'd never
pull off the refillable toothpaste reservoir
#139480 [ + | - ] 292
<AndyPunk> what is with all the publicity with people who have
lost limbs in the war
<AndyPunk> wasn't the only reason we went into iraq was to
dis-arm them?
#139476 [ + | - ] 1312
<elitotaco> ok
<elitotaco> ive got to go finish cleaning my room
<elitotaco> or else i cant go camping
<-- elitotaco has quit ()
<asshat> OMG what a loser
<asshat> gtg moms calling
#139475 [ + | - ] 131
<crazycaleb> cmon ham :( youre one of my favorites
<Hamzifer> favorites?
<Hamzifer> I dunno if i'm that 'important'.
<crazycaleb> your name makes me think of hamtaro, that might
be why
<Hamzifer> ..your a sick little man.
#139462 [ + | - ] 757
<Taiken> I had this dream once...
<Taiken> Where my penis grew teeth and attacked me.
<woosh> dude
<woosh> Your penis is cool.
<woosh> I want Taiken's penis
<Kyle> ..
<woosh> That sounded so wrong.
<Kyle> Yeah.
#139434 [ + | - ] 76
<%PeteriD> Ladies and gentlemen
<%PeteriD> Michael Bolton Has threatened to kill me
<xnoblefoxfirex> ohhh micheal bolton
<xnoblefoxfirex> I know Id be scared
<@bunnzy> whats he gonna do?
<@bunnzy> love you to death?
<@_pali> release another album! >_<
<@bunnzy> maybe he'll hold you down, and get his mate kenny G
to molest you with his saxaphone!
#139187 [ + | - ] 731
<SpudMuffn> I jack off in the shower so much that I get a
hard-on whenever it rains.
#139147 [ + | - ] 829
<Pciber> Dude.
<Pciber> I just thought of the awesomest AIDS campain slogan.
<Pciber> AIDS Kills, We ain't fuckin around!
#139075 [ + | - ] -18
<E_Kewl-i> Why dose the bottom of bash.org have all nigger
jokes?
<Termite> they go by economical status
#139025 [ + | - ] 1554
<Neji-Sama> OMFG, life is great.
<Neji-Sama> Some girl just im'ed me.
<Neji-Sama> She's masturbating right now thinking of me.
<Neji-Sama> It's like, wow.
<Neji-Sama> FUCK!
<Neji-Sama> She said it's the wrong window -.-
<JapanAir900> ...
<Cidsa> HAHAHAHAAH
#139013 [ + | - ] 996
<Subwoofer> My mom's dead :D
<Subwoofer> :(*
#138968 [ + | - ] 106
seanchil: zero5: What linux distro do you have?
Zero5: okay. can you please help me installing it.
Zero5: i have linux 9.0
#138905 [ + | - ] 599
<twohitcombo> i finally replaced my gay wireless keyboard that
had a laptop style key layout with no keypad
<twohitcombo> and i bought one of those logitech ones with a
hojillion buttons that dont work without the drivers
<twohitcombo> but evidently it has a 'fuck everything up'
button that works fine with out them
#138893 [ + | - ] 662
<Elfer> uh oh
<Elfer> I think I plugged my lamp in backwards
<Elfer> the room gets darker when I turn it on
#138868 [ + | - ] 378
<BoB_JonEz> well its true
<BoB_JonEz> i think to get a comp sci degree you have to pass
the tan test
<BoB_JonEz> if you have a tan, you fail
#138858 [ + | - ] 400
<iPBS> you know
<iPBS> there were billions of virus emails traveling the net
last week
<iPBS> people were complainging about getting hundreds of
emails in their inbox's
<iPBS> and i didn't get a single email virus
<slightly> me neither
<iPBS> whats that say about our popularity?
<slightly> :(
#138832 [ + | - ] 945
<dreamwraith> Girls that think oral sex isn't really sex are
so fucked in the head.
<Dest> dreamwraith: Literally.
#138797 [ + | - ] 217
<Charlemagne> I HATE WHEN OPS TRY TO JUDGE MY MOTHER FUCKING
ONLY FUCKING FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* Wertigon sets mode: +o Charlemagne
<Charlemagne> oh
<Charlemagne> never mind
<Charlemagne> WOO!
#138789 [ + | - ] 670
Tridao: i got 100%
Tridao: :D
Xeero: On what?
Tridao: the iq test
Xeero: ...
Tridao:  100% of what/
Xeero: Did it give you a number?
Xeero: That says
Xeero: 'Your IQ is ___"
Tridao: 100%...:(
Xeero: Okay, your IQ is not high.
#138788 [ + | - ] 135
<Cyrack> told my girlfriend that MS could get all her personal
letters... now she unplugs the network before starting
Office... :-(
#138784 [ + | - ] 327
<@burzzzzzz> i must be drunk
<@burzzzzzz> i wanted to know what time it was
<@burzzzzzz> and to check if my arm pits smells
<@burzzzzzz> so i sniffed my watch and looked at my arm pit
#138767 [ + | - ] 151
[ +Syphon ] what linux editor should i use to open a .dat
file?
[ +Da_BuzZ ] notepad?
#138676 [ + | - ] 269
-   quit: (CIA) (SDF@n00b-3A83B275.dyn.optonline.net) (Killed
(NickServ (Ghost command used by FBI)))
(@NSA) OMG GHOST GOVERMENT
#138659 [ + | - ] 163
<@[R-Dk]FoRbiDDeN> this litte arrow thing keeps following my
mouse, and I can't make it go away.
#138653 [ + | - ] 196
<doogul> he can kline but he can't kill? wtf? lol
<doogul> that's like being able to jack off but you can't take
your pants off
#138652 [ + | - ] 51
<Vikki> everyone send me more pics of you all :)
<Vikki> lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag
* Vikki was kicked by Vikki (stop flooding)
#138651 [ + | - ] 263
<NE|KevinDeux> would ME run good on a p100, 32mb ram?
<[xeno]Nirox> sure....if its being draged behind a car
#138646 [ + | - ] 35
<Guitar4life> there's no such thing as humping too many
grandma's
#138641 [ + | - ] 32
Skywalker> we need a transportation systems like the Europians
Pheylan> smelly?
#138640 [ + | - ] 354
<Insomniak> so anyways
<Insomniak> I had just got back from a school camping trip
<Insomniak> and I had a school tent being kept in a black
garbage bag
<Insomniak> i had to return it that morning
<Insomniak> i was running late
<Insomniak> so I pick up a black bag and go to school
<Insomniak> and later in the day, my Outdor Ed teacher comes
up to me
<Insomniak> "do you know what was in that bag you brought me?"
<Insomniak> me: "uh, a tent?"
<Insomniak> "no"
<Insomniak> "soiled diapers"
<Insomniak> i had brought the wrong bag
#138636 [ + | - ] 62
if you get turned down for a job, its just like getting turned
down for a date, only girls dont often give you the courtesy
of "Thanks for applying, we will keep your resume on file.
have a nice day!"
#138634 [ + | - ] 325
<sean> And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
the chicken,
<sean> "Thou shalt cross the road."
<sean> And the chicken crossed the road
<krohnjw__> that chicken should have been like "back off god,
im doing this my way"
<krohnjw__> then he would have gotten owned
#138632 [ + | - ] -27
Crazzeh Timmeh: dude
Crazzeh Timmeh: i just found out
Crazzeh Timmeh: im so sorry
Crazzeh Timmeh: i had no idea you were gay
KashJC: hahahaha
KashJC: are u that bored?
Crazzeh Timmeh: could you tell?
KashJC: yes
KashJC: lol
Crazzeh Timmeh: wanna fuck
Crazzeh Timmeh: ?
Crazzeh Timmeh: you know, since ur gay and all
KashJC: nah, not rite now...kinda busy
Crazzeh Timmeh: later?
KashJC: aight, when im done with this stuff
Crazzeh Timmeh: kk
Crazzeh Timmeh: who is stuff? never heard of him
KashJC: dont ask, we're busy
Crazzeh Timmeh: bastard, you're cheating on me now!
KashJC: hahah
KashJC: sorrie daddy
Crazzeh Timmeh: i knew you were a dirty whore
#138631 [ + | - ] 751
<Vict0r> they made a hackers 3?
<Vict0r> i didn't know that
<Majuju> they made a hackers 2?
<jules> they made a hackers 2?
<mnerd> what's hackers
<jules> winner.
#138626 [ + | - ] 415
kobbie|pot has Quit iRC (Write Error: Broken pipe)
kobbie|work has joined.
#138625 [ + | - ] 465
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> lol i came up to one of those domain names
that arent registered
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> here are the top 5 searches performed
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 1. naked
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 2. boobs
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 3. big boobs
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 4. vagina
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 5. yu-gi-oh
#138618 [ + | - ] 549
<Joe> I know everything there is to know about masturbating
<Tiffany> teach me joe
<Joe> OK WELL FIRST FIND YOUR PENIS
<Joe> YOU GOTS ONE OF THOSE RIGHT??
<Joe> BECAUSE OTHERWISE THIS IS GOING TO BE REALLY REALLY
DIFFICULT
<Tiffany> o damn
<Tiffany> nevermind then
#138616 [ + | - ] 503
<Borlath_Mon> Dammit...what's a good ascii equivalent to "get
down tonight"?
<Fox_Alan> dunno..
<Borlath_Mon> Dammit.
<Borlath_Mon> I'm trying to put together an ascii version of a
song
<Borlath_Mon> Do a little dance
<Borlath_Mon> :D-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D/-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D/-<
<Borlath_Mon> make a little love
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> 8==wD
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> 8w==D
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> 8==wD
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> Get down tonight?
<Fox_Alan> hmmmmmmm
<Borlath_Mon> It's a tricky one
#138615 [ + | - ] 327
<+Myke> omg you're such a gay poopooface
<+Myke> be mature
#138604 [ + | - ] 424
<cortXbomb> yo, I need some good shit to put on my resume that
makes it look lilke I use my computers for more than general
piracy
#138597 [ + | - ] 229
«@ Darth_Angelus» thats what happens when you play avp2 too
much
« TheMaskedMan » You get hairy palms and go blind
<JonR> no tmm
<JonR> thats masturbation
« TheMaskedMan » oh
« TheMaskedMan » I confuse the two
#138596 [ + | - ] 105
OAGreatLordAxion: You worry me sometimes, Tom.
Blast Enforcer: Good.
Blast Enforcer: I like to keep people on their toes.
OAGreatLordAxion: U and your homoerotic thoughts...
OAGreatLordAxion: u sure thats not on thier knees?
#138594 [ + | - ] 122
<jcarle> BangBus is a standard that all us real men should
measure ourselves up to.
<jcarle> Well, maybe not, but it'd sure be cool to do the same
thing and have it work for us for once.
<chaind> lol
#138593 [ + | - ] 333
Blast Enforcer: oh, and just so you know, I've never stuck
anything up my ass, and nor have I thought about it.
OAGreatLordAxion: ummm
OAGreatLordAxion: i didnt wonder
Blast Enforcer: oh
Blast Enforcer: ok
OAGreatLordAxion: right up until you said that.
OAGreatLordAxion: now im concerned.
#138583 [ + | - ] 216
<@phessler> expecting people to be competent went out of style
when the dot-com boom hit
#138576 [ + | - ] 247
Syn0P: RESPOND
aj64804: no
#138572 [ + | - ] 213
(@Miz): have we all gone outside to look at mars yet?
(@Chris_): cba
(@Chris_): its quicker to go to naza.gov and download a high
res image
(@Chris_): nasa.gov *
(@Miz): and print it out then stick it on the window
(@Chris_): exactly!
#138548 [ + | - ] 296
«@ Geza» how do u shut it down?!
«@ Geza» 2 shut down sum 1's chan?!
<PcChip> well
<PcChip> try this,
<PcChip> type: /quit shutdown #cafe_paradise
«@ Geza» ur lieing
«@ Geza» it will kick me
«@ Geza» u gay
Quits: Geza (~htrsh@owns.tha.world.edu) (Quit: shutdown #
cafe_paradise)
#138546 [ + | - ] 206
<BoZo> Hmmm, this is scary, I was writing something today
(with pen and paper!) and then I made an error and for like 5
seconds I wanted to undo :/       <BoZo> With a Ctrl+Z
<kdub> haha
<FyreDaug> BoZo you geek
<kdub> i was drawing something on a piece of paper in class
<kdub> and a computer was right in front of me too
<kdub> when i messed up drawing
<BoZo> It felt weird :p
<kdub> i reached up and hit ctrl-z
<BoZo> haha
#138543 [ + | - ] 193
<xassassingod> but i do love brittany murphy
<xassassingod> she WILL have my babies
<***|away> you make some and then put them in front of her
door ?