hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 2 in Moderation Queue
#169962 [ + | - ] 862
<Dyne> I've been playing Dance Dance Revolution Max 2 for only
a week and i've lost 10 pounds.
<Dylflon> That's nice.
<Dyne> Really, you should try it. You need to get in shape.
<Dylflon> I am in shape. Round is a shape.
#169866 [ + | - ] 865
ashp: OMG MATT I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN THE MATRIX
ashp: AFTER THE BIG SHOWDOWN WITH SMITH
ashp: RUFUS DROPS OUTTA THE SKY AND SAYS "MOST EXCELLENT DUDE"
ashp: and it was all just an excellent adventure
#169607 [ + | - ] 1506
(SnapScan): hablais español?
(Picasso-): I would like TWO soft tacos and a large pepsi
#169172 [ + | - ] 576
« Kil88|Savage » i'm gonna have a polo with my name on it :D
<Bennie> im gonna get some boxers with <dick> on the front
<Bennie> then im gonna get a sock
« Squeeb » lol :)
« Squeeb » ace
<Bennie> with </dick> on
<Bennie> :D
« Squeeb » LMAO
#169167 [ + | - ] 41
Geeky Weezer Fan: Is she still downright refusing head?
onkeybutt87: haha
onkeybutt87: I haven't really asked her since Saturday
onkeybutt87: but I think so, yeah
onkeybutt87: why?
Geeky Weezer Fan: Slit her throat.
onkeybutt87: well, I guess that's one way to get it in
there...
#168935 [ + | - ] 504
<Dareon> I wonder where my package is.
<Valvados> checked between your legs?
<Dareon> If it was there, I wouldn't be so bored right now,
would I?
#168917 [ + | - ] 536
Kirby: So like this one time I was fucking this dude in the
ass and then I threw up on his back.
ZAn3Yt: I didn't now you were gay Kirby...
katchup: He isn't, that was a shakespeare quote.
#168859 [ + | - ] 5168
<FreeFrag> The most secure computer in the world is one not
connected to the internet.
<FreeFrag> Thats why I recommend Telstra ADSL.
#168857 [ + | - ] 1133
<mojo> I want me a pet monkey.
<Synthetic> My aunt had one, the smell was ungodly. It was
allways beating off and if it got scared it would deficate in
it's hand a throw it.
<mojo> I know, that's why I want one. If it can beat it's self
off then I can teach it how to do it to me.
<synthetic> ...
<Capin> Um... so anyway I went to the zoo this one time and
one of the gorillas stole my dad's wallet!
<Synthetic> That was no gorilla, it was a black guy in a fur
coat. The son of a bitch has my shoes.
<mojo> I still want a monkey if anybody cares.
#168702 [ + | - ] 573
<wilywampa> dazey said i'm almost out of money and said i need
to get a job
<wilywampa> i said i could steal money instead
<wilywampa> and she asked from whom
<wilywampa> i said "from old ladies, i can steal their money
and beat them to death"
<wilywampa> and she said "that's awful, why would you do
something like that?"
<wilywampa> i said "because babies don't have money"
#168320 [ + | - ] 1151
<darko``> Heh, funny how ignore doesn't completely ignores
certain nicks/masks. Some kind of messages still pass by.
<Ashe> Guess you have a crappy client
<darko``> Maybe it's just my client though :/
<Ashe> Guess I'm the one ignored
#168269 [ + | - ] 27
<Arran> brb, loo.
<Stirfry_Ninja> arran is anally retentive
<aussie_singh> :p
<Stirfry_Ninja> :D
<EvoX> he rents his anus??!!
#168238 [ + | - ] 165
Captain Ferrell:  COME JOIN THE WONDERFUL KAZAA COMMUNITY, AND
HAVE LOTS OF LEGAL AS HELL FUN
Captain Ferrell:  they're not all
Demosthenes:  ÜBER-HAXXOR P2P UNDERGROUND PIRACY PROGRAM
KAZAA!
Captain Ferrell:  exactly
Demosthenes:  Wow, that was a lot of adjectives
Captain Ferrell:  it sounded like an anime title
#168191 [ + | - ] 1158
<ChaosReactor> RIAA is tricksy try to tricks us.
<ChaosReactor> Try to take away our precious!
#168123 [ + | - ] 516
<BeadGrl> just call me Mrs. Robinson
<Greek> haha
<ZekeMacNeil> Beadgrl likes her men in the same manner that
she likes her scotch.
<BeadGrl> aged 18 years in a barrel?
#168093 [ + | - ] 24
* Now talking in #israel
<Idiot-boy> Hey #israel!  Soo... hitler.
#168090 [ + | - ] 853
herblackwings29:: I'm bored
shotgunlo:: me too
shotgunlo:: but I'm also hungry
herblackwings29:: I have tacos
shotgunlo:: mmm
herblackwings29:: they are like cardboard though
shotgunlo:: I would love to eat your taco, Becky
herblackwings29:: I bet
herblackwings29:: my taco doesn't taste like cardboard
shotgunlo:: I love the fact that you know that
#167874 [ + | - ] 1081
<ppolf>  I told my brother if you take the cotton wool bit out
of a vics inhaler and rubbed it under your eyes, you see in
black and white.
<ppolf> He kicked my fucking head in after bawling his eyes
out for two hours.
#167873 [ + | - ] 403
<`Riku> Ok, so there's this UN meeting, and there are a lot of
important people in there discussing how to get a peace in
Iraq
<`Riku> after the meeting the President of France comes to
George Bush and says: "Mr. Bush, there's something I'd like to
ask... My son is a huge Star Trek fan, and he'd like to know
why there are no Arabians on the show?"
<`Riku> Bush thinks a second, then smirks and says;
<`Riku> "Cause it takes place in the future."
#167863 [ + | - ] 1465
<jaymeekae> i feel so american
<Moonman> you shot someone?
#167844 [ + | - ] 1067
<ZS> Ouranophobia- Fear of heaven.
<Kevyn> What's scary about heaven?
<Phantomlord> dude, christians hang out there.
#167837 [ + | - ] 137
<Trife> black kids don't even dress up over here, they just
come over and say 'can i have candy'
<sloth> yeah
<sloth> dude
<sloth> one had a trash bag on
<kokanin> hey
<kokanin> they're dressed as flying eyes and teeth!
<Trife> last year the black kids came back the next day trying
to sell me candy
#167825 [ + | - ] 458
* ol has joined #mapcore
<Flashdevil> I will rub my sperm in so many places that they
won't be able to look at themselves in the mirror without
getting pregnant.
<ol> um... did i come in at a bad time?
#167799 [ + | - ] 448
<Zombie_Punk> You bastards wouldn't know a Clerks reference if
it analy raped your mother while pouring sugar in your
gastank.
#167746 [ + | - ] 347
<Mr_Vain> I'd rather have an admirer than a stalker any day
<Phrim> what's the difference, Bonz? :-)
<Mr_Vain> a stalker doesn't blink when they look at you
<Mr_Vain> it's very unnerving
#167731 [ + | - ] 908
TrivBaby: QUESTION:  1992 - what did the church of england
allow women to become?
catman1229: men
destinatas: priests
destinatas: clergy
ZaDaRoN: members
LmRiVaRaT: sluts
QuarkSoupXYZ: pregnanat
LmRiVaRaT: bitches
destinatas: queens
LmRiVaRaT: hoes
ZaDaRoN: divorced
LmRiVaRaT: whores
dbcpool: voters
#167698 [ + | - ] 2001
<ancho> do girls like it if you stick your hand up there ass??
<ancho> hurry plz.. im in the middle of something
#167594 [ + | - ] 689
<Ilendil> If two stick people had sex, would it start a fire?
#167574 [ + | - ] 397
<kinkos> can you use a tesla coil as a sexual toy?
<Aegis`> yah, but only once.
<kinkos> once is all i need!
#167569 [ + | - ] 619
<Lointamer> oh crap...kids found my vibrators again
#167524 [ + | - ] 837
<AV-Cables> np: [ - ] [06:05m]
<Frozen-Solid> god DAMN your tags suck av.
<AV-Cables> I know. :D
<AV-Cables> No, I have to re-tag them.
<AV-Cables> I just converted ALL my songs to 192kbps.
<AV-Cables> And the Smashing...LIVE! soundtrack to 320kbps.
<Frozen-Solid> uh....
<Frozen-Solid> converted from what...?
<AV-Cables> 128kbps
#167435 [ + | - ] 813
<despair> I need a nigger HD :(
<despair> b
<despair> bigger
<despair> omfg... bad ass typo
#167361 [ + | - ] 1217
<Lachlan> Doogie, what the fuck do you think the emergency
generators are there for?
<Doogie> ummm....
<Sam> Generating Emergencies.
#167247 [ + | - ] 1281
<squid> This spider is such an asshole.
<Sushi-X> y dont u just smash it with impunity?
<squid> It's on the ceiling, and I am not.
<Sushi-X> tell it to come down and fight like a man....or you
can climb and fight like a spider
#167230 [ + | - ] 1076
<Trekkie> this ant has run around 15 times around the screen
of my monitor
<IceBerg> kill it with ur mouse
<Trekkie> i tried clicking on him; he wont die
<IceBerg> no you nerd, smash it with your mouse
#167145 [ + | - ] 250
<@maroo> I jumped off a bridge into a river once... they asked
me what I was doing... I told them I was LARPing a fish.
#167081 [ + | - ] 314
<dekk> your mom lost her virginity in a penis accident
<[b&]shoez> i lost my penis in a virginity accident
#167054 [ + | - ] 835
(@[e]space) going to war without France is like going deer
hunting without an accordion
#166956 [ + | - ] 6062
[ron`] Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll fuck you with a
rake
#166952 [ + | - ] 450
<RoyCastle> i think my body is compensating for my not eating
anything by delving deeper into insanity
<RoyCastle> like earlier I was looking at a picture of a dead
cat on the internet and for a moment it made me understand
multivariable calculus
<mflynn00> liar
<RoyCastle> k.. it was midget pr0n
#166937 [ + | - ] 356
DittzieBlondee06: is she a better kisser then me
DittzieBlondee06: haha
onkeybutt87: haha, I wish I knew
DittzieBlondee06: hahaha
DittzieBlondee06: i bet ya do
DittzieBlondee06: lol
onkeybutt87: I'll just have to use my imagination
DittzieBlondee06: yep
DittzieBlondee06: ya will
onkeybutt87: or chloroform
#166920 [ + | - ] 1386
<MightyBlueJustice> I need to jack a hole in this floor so I
can get the internet hooked up to the comp in the basement.
<MightyBlueJustice> I need more power tools
<MKDemon> You don't have a drill?
<MightyBlueJustice> We do somewhere.
<MightyBlueJustice> All I can find is a power sander and I
just don't have that kind of time.
#166910 [ + | - ] 825
<schnorks> OFFICIAL ATOMIC TIME: 11:41:28PM CDT
<Sigma> OMG schnorks has the A-BOMB
<schnorks> No, the atomic time has nothing to do with weapons
of any sort.
<Coco13> schnorks is correct.
<Coco13> The second is based on the wavelength of a particular
atom.
<schnorks> What about the first?
<Coco13> You are such a fucking whore.
#166906 [ + | - ] 619
<emlodro> what country is exe
<think> binary islands
#166809 [ + | - ] 951
<DigiB0t>  Coming Up : ' Linkin Park - Nobody's Listening '!
Your current DJ is : MaxxSpawn!  We currently have   0
listeners.
#166683 [ + | - ] 1330
<zP|Russina`cs> the teacher was like justin did you do your
homework
<zP|Russina`cs> i was like no forgot to
<zP|Russina`cs> shes like well thats bad news
<zP|Russina`cs> i was like well i got some good news i just
saved a bunch of money on my car insurance
#166572 [ + | - ] 281
<mm13> people who eat people
<mm13> are the hungriest people
#166566 [ + | - ] 971
<twanks> i met this chick at the bar the other day
<twanks> and she was all like "i wanna fuck your brains out"
steamy woman...
<twanks> so i was all "hell yeh"
<twanks> so we come back to my place
<twanks> and she jumps on my bed, strips down
<twanks> then she opens her legs wide, begins strokin the ole
axe wound
<twanks> and shes moaning and stuff
<twanks> and dude
<twanks> i reckon i coulda had sex
#166558 [ + | - ] 356
DesusGrimm: Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay!
DesusGrimm: someone actually put that as their info.
DesusGrimm: someone that I once made out with.
Lord Galadriel: meagan
DesusGrimm: WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS UNTIL THE END OF TIME
DesusGrimm: fuck.
Lord Galadriel: lol
#166516 [ + | - ] 366
<GreenFux> gym music always sounds like porn music for some
reason
<Rakekniven> Same with 60's and 70's educational film strips.
<Rakekniven> Whoever would've guesed that Oxygen and Hydrogen
enjoy bonding to the same music as Bunny Love and Brock
Stiffy.
<opie> heh
<GreenFux> i think that i will formulate a theory that the
universe is powered by hot steamy sex
<GreenFux> it makes more sense than string theory right away