<Potato> A couple years back, my friend had the greatest christmas tree of all time <Potato> We were 'round at his place, having a post-pissup drink/laugh at lightweight bastards and two cops came in because of a noise complaint <Potato> One of them walks towards the open back door while the other does the usual "Why are you making so much noise" question routine <Potato> The friend in question goes pale as he sees the cop stick his head in the door and only look one way before deciding they were wasting their time <Potato> When they'd fucked off, I asked him what was wrong, he pointed in the other direction and told me to go check out the christmas tree the cop missed <Potato> I stick my head in the door and lo, a 6 foot tall pot plant, complete with tinsel and presents around the base, is sitting in the corner, facing me off, taunting me, goin' "Yeah, fucker, I'm a 6 foot tall pot plant. Ya wanna piece of me, bitch?"
<+ XmasCola> "this screener has been electronically coded to assist in tracking illegal duplications. unothorized duplication of this screener is stricly forbidden." <+ XmasCola> "if you copied it, we know who did it, so you might as well just turn yourselves in and then we won't punish you as bad" <+ XmasCola> "we swear we're not bluffing" <+ XmasCola> "we saw hackers"
<pixistix> I like sending out messages in a bottle. <pixistix> But I'm creative. <pixistix> "I have been shipwrecked at sea, while bringing an important message." <pixistix> "Do not, under any circumstances, allow President Kennedy to go to Dallas"
<Aliya> Who is peer? <Roudi> No one can be... told what peer is. You have to be peered for yourself.
~ Carrotz: Question: In 'alice in wonderland', with what were the words 'eat me' written on the cake > Azrael: icing > Azrael: blood ~ rh|semiafk: arial > Azrael: rofl
* larra has joined #Hentai <larra> u people are terrible! <larra> my brother attacked our aunt becuae of hentai! * larra has left #Hentai
<Bl1tz|> lol I think Tatu arose out of a secret expiriment to log the average American's web search <Bl1tz|> and they came up with 'young teenage Russian lesbians'
Myke`: Bush's national security adviser is named Condoleezza Rice Myke`: wth kinda name is that? dodee: sounds like a mexican side dish.
<JuSTiNb> this old cleaning lady at burger king said she was gonna beat me with a broom
<Viper187> ok <Viper187> I don't like Alcohol <Viper187> fuckin auto-eject <Viper187> It read the Halo CD, then spit the CD back out at me <Viper187> causing the CD tray to knock my goddamn glass off the desk
<+[G-Prime]> Microsoft Aims for Software in Every Car <+[G-Prime]> Oh great <+[G-Prime]> Now our cars will crash <@Crucial> blue windshield of death
<Havard> I think baptizing babies is wrong. <Havard> I mean, they don't have a say in it. <ithil> Yeah, but what if they die and go to liiiimbo? <STL> Well, then their parents will have to go fuck with the Merovingian <ithil> In a terrible sequel to the Bible
<Ephialtes> ugh <Ephialtes> I. <Ephialtes> Am. <Ephialtes> Wet. <Ephialtes> infact I am BEYOND wet <Ephialtes> I am soaked <Ephialtes> no wait, I am beyond soaked <Ephialtes> I am drenched <Ephialtes> and I may be beyond that *** Ephialtes has been kicked off channel #ev3 by zambezi (flood)
<daem0n_> i got new car radio the other day, its pretty cool. you shout soul and it plays soul, you shout rock and it plays rock. the other day some kids ran past my car and i yelled "FUCKING KIDS" and it played michael jackson.
<CrackyMcZap> why don't we get a Straight Pride parade? <Kaejo> they're called gun & knife shows
<joshua_> C ECE DBRY AOT URP YDAY TCBE RU YRPYGP.! <joshua_> BRYDCBI CO ,RPYDF RU YDAY TCBE UR YRPYGP.! <joshua_> AaAAAAAAAAAAAAAACC.............................! <joshua_> AND FUCK YOU TOO MR. DVORAK
<Twinkle> Microsoft has just announced that their revolutionary new "Yboy" will weigh less than 10 pounds and be able to fit in a small backpack
<Fubar> Reminds me in class, when some teacher was going off on us about feminazi shit, she goes "A woman can do anything a man can!" and my friends goes "well you can't produce sperm!"
<@Serge`> LOL <@Lord_Saros> stfu you fuxing noob <@Lord_Saros> AOL kiddie ! <@Deadpool-> somone uses aol here? <@Lord_Saros> Sxales does <@Sxales> ha <@Deadpool-> you make me sick <@Lord_Saros> He just keeps his aol line on a low profile *@Sxales hides it under a rug <@Sxales> what? <@Lord_Saros> Nothing (: <@Sxales> i'm too fucking cheap to use aol, i just yell in binary real loud
<TeamGato-Mumbo> oh god, my cat is being eaten by racoons <TeamGato-Mumbo> brb
<Milo> the karma chameleon is gonna come by one day, give you a fatal illness, and then piss in your mouth
<jws> You just *know* you have a virus when you see this: <jws> (D:) Local Disk <jws> Total size: 66631337 GB
<barryk> Pillows: do you believe Iraq posed a direct threat to US homeland security ? <`dA> yes <`dA> iraq was an asshole <spikeb> and the us military was a giant penis
<magpie> why am I watching spice girls behind the music <magpie> am I that bored <jeff> you obviously need to spice up your life
The U.S. Government today changed its emblem from an eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. Condoms stand up to inflation, halt production, destroy the next generation, protect pricks, and give a sense of security while actually screwing you!
meg32185: you're weird meg32185: where do u think you can find wholesale socks on the internet?
<Xizer> Winzip is such a girl... <Xizer> "Uh hey. 30 days are up could you stop using me? No? Well I'll just ask again tomorrow..."
<goran> "I once said "owned" to a black man before. talk about awkward moment..."
<@Usama> I am gonna get a tattoo of a $100 bill on my penis.....because women like to blow money and I like to watch my money grow.
<fosheeze> i ate oatse for breakfast <BigBrother_> was that a typo of oats, or goatse? <BigBrother_> I'm hoping it was oats, or do you eat horribly disfigured anus?
<Gareth>: i was tryin to make a :S face in real life while at the doctors, and all these handicaps walked in while i was doing it <Gareth>: and they sat down next to me, and started stroking my head and stuff, saying, "friend, friend" <Gareth>: Thats When i Realised......... <Bill>: .......yes.......what did u realise <Gareth>: I Fucken realised there were a bunch of retards stroking my head!!!
-!- marlies [~m@81.132.2.190] has joined #gamesoc < marlies> ello all < Jops> welcome to the tumbleweed zone < kev> o. < kev> 'o < kev> `o < kev> o' < marlies> o, < kev> congratulations, you have won tonights star prize! -!- marlies [~m@81.132.2.190] has quit [Client Quit] < kev> freedom from irc
<r4v3n> there is just NO good excuse, if caught in my gfs room in the middle of the night <r4v3n> "hey mr c...was walking by your house and i dropped my penis...it fell into your daughter, but i've collected it now and will just be...on...my...way"
<+_chester_> i think the dentist might molest me while i'm under <@End11> and your dissapointed you can't be awake for it? <+_chester_> i want to see his technique <@Psybrid> lol <+_chester_> i mean, good god, if i need 4 days to recover, the guy is pulling more than teeth
*** YOU has joined #gamedev * YOU HAVE RECEIVED A FATAL ERROR, PRESS ALT + F4 TO REPAIR THIS IMMEDIATELY <Waxycat> teh <Waxycat> it says i recieved a fatal error <posit> Waxycat: oh that happens some times, you have to press alt+f4 to fix it <posit> *sometimes <Waxycat> that quits irc <Falnom> ALT+F4 quick! <Waxycat> why? * YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS TO RESTART MIRC <posit> you have a fatal error <Waxycat> otherwize? <posit> if you don't restart it may damage your system <Waxycat> it says i have 30 seconds *** Waxycat has quit IRC [] <posit> damn yeah <Palish> bahhahah. *** Waxycat has joined #gamedev * YOU HAVE RECEIVED A FATAL ERROR, PRESS ALT + F4 TO REPAIR THIS IMMEDIATELY <Waxycat> what happened? <Waxycat> again?!?! <Waxycat> it says it again! <posit> again? <Waxycat> what should i do?! <posit> maybe a config problem <Waxycat> what will happen if i don't quit? <posit> not sure exactly <posit> but I don't think it's good * YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS TO RESTART MIRC *** Waxycat has quit IRC []
<AL9000> my fatty little brother is pissed b/c I wrote "treadmill" on his Christmas list
<Freakdoom> you know <Freakdoom> i love all my friends <Freakdoom> your like a second family to me <Freakdoom> just say my entire family was killed somehow <Freakdoom> would you let me live with you? <Freakdoom> :D <Zy> of course <Freakdoom> yay :D * Freakdoom is away: killing family
<kylev> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA <kylev> hahahahaha <kylev> some girl just came onto our floor <kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper" <kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about <kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism <`Neo> bahahahaha
<Tremolo> All right, you want a story eh? Welll fine <Tremolo> "One day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up for a fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise and came to shoot the two dead boys. If you dont believe this lie is true, ask the blind man he saw it too,"
<Yajinden> I like this temperature-based designation system we have. <Yajinden> it's good to be hot, and it's good to be cool, but it's not good to be frigid, and it's not good to be flaming.
<gpi> -:- BitchX: Join to #brocku was synched in 0.153 secs!! <gpi> i love the double exclamation mark <gpi> as if that's shattering some world record <trigga> lol <gpi> HOLY SHIT YOU SYNCED FAST!!
< skel> I just patented an atmospheric bio-oxygen extraction device.. < skel> now I'll sue anyone breathing < skel> mwuhahahaha! < skel> i was just kidding guys < skel> you can let your breath out < skel> =P < skel> guys? < skel> OH DEAR GOD!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?! < skel> BREATHE PEOPLE!!! BREATHE!!!
<NiM> I went to church with my friends <NiM> and they had all the alter boys being commissioned or whatever its called <NiM> and we pours salt and viagra in the wine <OttoDestruct> LOL <NiM> And like 4 of the alterboys spat out the wine <CF|Okra> hahahah <NiM> and the priest was like OMFG U SINNERS <NiM> thats the blood of christ! <NiM> And the ones that didn't spit it out where walking around in their fucking robs with boners <NiM> it was the funniest shit ever <NiM> We where kicked out <NiM> of the church