On new years eve a friend told me this: Psychism Alchemy: ugh I think I'm on my computer to much... Psychism Alchemy: someone just asked me what my resolution was as I answered 1600x1200...
<EvilGenius> HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!! <nykoelle> HAPPY NEW YEAR <solace> 2004!! <nykoelle> YAYA <nykoelle> !!! <nykoelle> </2003> <solace> HAPPY NEW YEARRRR <EvilGenius> rofl meg
P][s7: Jez and I get in line for the bathroom, and every guy in line immediately pushes her to the front. She asks why, and they say, "Because you actually have to go." The door opens and three guys come out of the one-room bathroom together. The last one stops, says, "Oh wait, I have to pee," and heads back into the bathroom.
<Rachtman> I can't wait to watch Dick Clark's ball drop. <Sharparoni> wow. never say that again, please. <Rachtman> haha
<efm> I'm sorry tbc, but I'm not interested in arguing with you. I prefer to argue with people who have some understanding of the way arguments are conducted. <tbc> Ouch. <tbc> And only a few days after jafo stabbed me in the face over the Internet. :-) <efm> that was rude of him. <jafo> It was a FRIENDLY stab in the face over the Internet.
Velociraptor: Do you have ne updog? SAMrhodes87: What the fuck is UPDOG? Velociraptor: nuthin much wha bout u?
* edude84 (~extremedu@24-164-185-144.hvc.rr.com) has joined # Help <edude84> dude <edude84> are there cheats for IRC?
<SSilver2k> he worked on a server called Servix in a college, he asked this girl to log into her "servix" terminal...you can see how that conversation went.
<valetine_4_ever> Piracy is wrong <valetine_4_ever> Cool, but wrong <Kalen> But it feels oh so right. <Loony_BoB> It's not wrong <Loony_BoB> They just have laws against it
<daMehTognoM> Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize that I could be eating a slow learner.
<tinman> Do you put antlers on your pussy? <tinman> er <tinman> that wasn't for this channel
<Meph|st0> Complaint : BOUGTH IT FOR MY COUSIN WHO HAD CANCER, ITEM NEVER ARRIVED AND MY COUSIN DIED <Meph|st0> thats the greatest ebay feedback i have ever seen
<badaboom> who can help me ? i'm french and i don't know irc <Paladine> can't help you with the being french part, you are screwed their mate
<StarFreeze2> Cyber blackmail artists are shaking down office workers, threatening to delete computer files or install pornographic images on their work PCs unless they pay a ransom, police and security experts said. <Duffman> lol <Duffman> first, i'd tell em to trash all the fucking files they want. it's costing my boss money, not me <Duffman> then i'd tell em to put on all the porn they wanted. i can always use more <Duffman> gotta have something to do at work <StarFreeze2> yea lol <StarFreeze2> "we will put porn on your computer if you don't give us 2k" <StarFreeze2> response: hurry and send the porn, i am so fucking bored <StarFreeze2> second response: lesbian plz, if possible
<marduk> why do all the 14-year old girls at my school have completely impossible crushes, like orlando bloom? <marduk> why don't they go for someone more realistic? <marduk> like r. kelly.
<FyreDaug> fuckin ricers <FyreDaug> civics are like tampons, every pussy has one
<davidr> w00t! I installed a camera and a monitor ... the cam points at my door so I don't have to turn my head to see if somebody opens the door <iku> ;D <davidr> and now I'll start recording everything so I don't even have to listen to my family, I'll just watch it when I have time
<Death> Hey, Jeff, how do you kill someone when they're on your nick? <Jeff> Oh, easy /ns ghost nick password <Death> Thanks. <Death> Die. *** Signoff: Jeff (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by Death)))
<Dante> haha <Dante> <Alb-guy> I just caught my 15 year old girl, masturbating with a vibrating 'control pad' on a Nintendo Gamecube. Now I am banning this vibrator from my household, but I am concerned about other teenagers who are using these products as masturbation aids. <Brian> HAHAHAHAHAAHA <Dante> so GameCubes do have their use after all!
<Hackwiz> oh yeah plus today my dad's car ran out of gas on the way out of the exit towards crawford street and we started pushing then a cop came behind us, gave us a ride home to get keys to the car's trunk to get gas tank. then so I go back to get gas tank I walk through the field because I think it will be shorter than going around the corner and walking all the way down the highway. I did not notice there was a mother fuc*ing stream there!!! i was like a mile down the highway and I said fuc* it so I tried,.... TRIED to jump the stream, came up short, broke through the ice and got full-body soaked, this was 3:40 pm, i had to work at 4, well I got out of the water, muddy and soaked. then i see a fuc*ing fuc*ing fuc*ing!!! barb wire fence!!! bitc*, i jump it slicing my thumb, i bleed, but it's aight. get the gas can and my computer games and crossover cable, start walking back home soaked, two hot girls stop and pull over to give me a ride home then i forogot, also the office smelled alcohol on my dad's breath so he said if my dad went back to drive the car home he would make sure he got arrested. <Hackwiz> How was your day? <LiKeM> OMG
<Nemo> whoa <Nemo> i was like downstars <Nemo> making a sandwich <Nemo> and i started singing subconsciously <Nemo> and when i realized that i was making noises <Nemo> it turned out i was like screaming the theme song to crank yankers <Nemo> and like <Nemo> the lady next door called the cops and shit <Nemo> oh man <Nemo> :(
<Jeff> god...yesterday morning sucked hard <Jeff> I woke up and took a shower, when I got out to find clothes, I opened the dryer and as I was rummaging around, I saw a dollar, so im like yoink...then I found another dollar, im like yeah! some sucker lost their dollars........then I found my paycheck...then my wallet.
<@SLing> anyway I love grocery shopping because I get to make my family look like fools <@SLing> the other day we were at the grocery store <@SLing> and the first place was all the melons (like canteloupe, grapefruit, etc) <evolsoulx> mmhmm <@SLing> anyway I remembered hearing from some TV chef that before buying melons you're supposed to knock on them <@SLing> so <@SLing> I stood there <@SLing> for five minutes <@SLing> knocking on melons <@SLing> people started looking at me strange <evolsoulx> lol <@SLing> I was like "It's ok, the TV chef told me to" <Erik> lol <@SLing> I'd knock on one and be like "This one sounds fresh" <@SLing> long story short I don't have to go grocery shopping anymore
SomethingTrifty: I'm vegetarian for a different reason SomethingTrifty: It's not because I like animals SomethingTrifty: i just fucking hate plants
<SRG> Metallica sold out in 45 mins :/ <NotOneOfUs> Yeah I know. <NotOneOfUs> Oh wait <NotOneOfUs> You mean, like, a concert? <SRG> yes
<Capt_Suicide> god fucking damnit <Capt_Suicide> my sister puked all over my toilet <Capt_Suicide> i just fucking cleaned that thing earlier from where nathan shit all over it <Capt_Suicide> good thing i bought that toilet bowl cleaner today <Kornered> what a rediculous thing to waste your money on <FaQz0r> get a dog <FaQz0r> dogs clean everything
LoRrigeer--: Dont dl porn ULVENMASTER: i dont, im mature LoRrigeer--: you dl mature porn? ULVENMASTER: no, im mature so i dont dl porn LoRrigeer--: so like ur married?
<darklink570> at first i thought that "ping? pong!" was just chanserv making fun of my chinese heritage
<Bijiy> SEABISCUIT!!! <[On-Air]NiM> Bijiy <[On-Air]NiM> I watched that movie with my mom <Bijiy> I did too <[On-Air]NiM> I will never watch a movie with my mom again <Bijiy> same <[On-Air]NiM> at the part in the stable she was like <[On-Air]NiM> WOW LOOK AT HOW BIG THE HORSES C0CK IS <Bijiy> heh <[On-Air]NiM> and I was like, OMG PLEASE NO... <Bijiy> hahahaha
<EiNHanDeR MK II> does anyone find it peculiar that the winner of the running olympics is black, and the white guys always win rifle and accuracy competitions?
<_pr1me> Nothing says christmas like handjobs in the olive garden bathroom for $2 a piece
Manghuntr9: i am taking a piece of KRAFT cheese to church with me in the hopes that i can get an extra piece of jesus and make a sandwich
<ubmentor> guys..greatest dialogue ever <ubmentor> check this out <ubmentor> girl: oh my god, that was incredible <ubmentor> guy: yeah.. you're amazing. you almost made me come <ubmentor> girl: what?! then what the hell did I swallow?! <SilentSnipa> hahaha
<fudge> wow <fudge> i am blessed <fudge> ffx-2 AND an AOL 9.0 disc <ShinakuTK_> ...some one gave you a AOHELL disk for a crimbo present? <fudge> i doubt it's a xmas present <fudge> i just get them all year then give them away at halloween to the kiddies <ShinakuTK_> lol
<deo> theres a road near me called "the queens passage" <emsy> LMAO <deo> heh....the funny thing is....theres a pub next to it.........called "the kings head"...... <emsy> ROTF
<Santa> all these chocolate bullets <Biscram> isnt there something you're forgetting to do tonight santa <Santa> THE PRESENTS!? * Santa is away, (brb delivering presents)
<vindalou> but you know how all gossip has a grain of truth <Bishi> I heard your mom's a real dirty slut
<CAMeRON> i have the best new insult - cockgoggles <CAMeRON> aaHAEHaeH aeHaeHaeHaehaeH <KEiRAN> thats pretty pisspoor cameron <CAMeRON> SHUT UP, COCKGOGGLES <KEiRAN> yeah, i didnt see that one coming
<STEELE1381> I just spent about 10 minutes taking an online IQ test that popped up onto my screen. <STEELE1381> Then, when I was finished, they made me fill out all this registration stuff before giving me my score. <sirhc614> How'd you do? <STEELE1381> Judging by the fact that I game them my email address to find out a number representing my intelligence that they semi-randomly calculated, I think I failed.
<muffins> Okay, earlier, when I said "FUCK" and left, my grandfather came with a truck load of wood for me to cart someplace. Because "Good Christian Young Men" do things like use chainsaws and cart wood. <muffins> Another thing Good Christian Young Men do is shoot guns. And go to church. I think I'm failing. <RedBeard> muffins: so kill two birds with one stone. shoot guns in church.
<MakoClause> shit <MakoClause> i am so dead <MakoClause> there is this huge dent in our christmas ham <MakoClause> where i decided to liberate some of it for a sandwhich <MakoClause> but i liberated too much <Zappy-Holidays> dude <Zappy-Holidays> ham raeper <Zappy-Holidays> where are your morals <Zappy-Holidays> I know why you really carved out a little bit <Zappy-Holidays> *nudge* *nudge* <Zappy-Holidays> *wink* *wink* <MakoClause> dude <MakoClause> i didn't fuck the ham <Zappy-Holidays> U FUCKED THE HAM <Zappy-Holidays> HAM FUCKER <MakoClause> I DID NOT FUCK THE HAM! <Zappy-Holidays> UR FAMILY WILL EAT YOUR SEAMEN
<APingLDer> So how did it go with that cheerleader from down the street that wanted to seduce you? <naeblis15> Well, I was going to go along, but at the last minute, I had one of those 'Grinch' moments, when my heart went up past my level, and Satan's and Stalin's and Hitler's and a few more levels, to where it was something like normal, and I decided that I should wait until I could have a meaningful relationship, not just casual sex with someone infinitely more popular and beautiful than I am. <APingLDer>... <APingLDer>... <APingLDer>And where was your brain at this point? <naeblis15>I don't know, but when he gets back he is so fucking grounded
<m00> Why does the mexican olympic team suck? <m00> everyone who can run, jump or swim is already in the US
<TXTerron> wanna know whats geeky? <Jennifer> hmm? <TXTerron> I'm driving down the road <Jennifer> I drove down the road today too... <Jennifer> Wait, You mean you're on irc in your truck? <TXTerron> yeah, using my wireless card <Jennifer> ^___^ <Jennifer> Jason, is that safe? <TXTerron> na, i just type with one hand while I'm driving and halfway watch the road, its cool, dont worry <Jennifer> You're good with typing with one hand? <TXTerron> shaddup :D <TXTerron> FUCK <TXTerron> i just rear ended a lady <TXTerron> brb :(
<Shaft> this is nice, customer calls in and opens a troubleticket, hes been suspended for non pay and his CC declined. Only way to turn abck on is by certified funds <Shaft> heres the kicker <Shaft> They are a collection agency
* |BEER| is AFK, i'm just a bot...day in and day out all i do is serve you....thats it!!!! I QUIT!!! TELL CB TO FIND HIMSELF A NEW BOT!!!! I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n * |BEER| has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer) <dr_binks> damn the bot just became self aware
Daniel: heh i met this chick online who had laser eye surgery today, she lives in California Nick: and? Daniel: and there was also an earthquake in california today
<Eck> British Prime Minister: I hope this can signal a reconciliation and a unity of the Iraqi people meaning freedom and hope for the people against whom the atrocities have been committed etc. <Eck> American Guy: WE GOT HIM! YEAAAAHHHH!!!!!
<sincere> there was a huge protest here <sincere> i walked out into the middle of it <sincere> i was like <sincere> get away hippies <sincere> im only trying to get to the liquor store