<@Fam|work> I was at the airport, and this family were having ALL their bags searched <@Fam|work> and the one teenage girl was bitching at the other teenage girl saying "I told you not to make a joke about a bomb".
<INTERNET> god <INTERNET> I reemmber this one time <INTERNET> in an airplane <INTERNET> I was with my mom <INTERNET> and I was like... 11 <INTERNET> well I saw these things called Sanitary Napkins <INTERNET> I thought they wre wetnaps <INTERNET> like those things from restaurants <INTERNET> so I got like a handful of them <INTERNET> and ran out of the bathroom and I screamed, "MOM!!!! I GOT THOSE SANITARY NAPKINS YOU LIKE SO MUCH!!!!!!" <INTERNET> EVERYONE ON THE PLANE WENT APESHIT AND MY MOM WAS JUST LAUGHING!!!! <INTERNET> she was like, "WILLIAM THOSE ARE TAMPONS NOT WETNAPS!!!"
<gordo> who here knows their trance well? <gordo> i need the title of that trance song, with the choir singing in the background <gordo> (high pitch) la la la la la, la la la la <gordo> (lower) la la la laaaaaaa, la (high) la la <WardoG> Wow that's specific
<[]OTB[]Orange> apparently girls gone wild "just got wilder" <ninex-knp> ? <[]OTB[]Orange> i don't know about you, but i certainly don't want to see willy wonka bare his breasts
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love. Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here. bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
<santa> if nasa was smart they'd send something tomars to grab a huge fucking bucket of mars sand <santa> and take it back <santa> and sell it by the gram <santa> like "MARS SAND KEYCHAINS - 300 bucks" <santa> talk about grassroots funding programs ;)
<Chiffy> hah <Chiffy> I was at a local skateboard shop with my mom <Chiffy> and I look up and see a deck with a picture of a drunk mexican screwing a crocodile and I laugh <Chiffy> she looks up <Chiffy> and mentions something like 'oh animal planet crocodile guy' <Chiffy> it took about 5 seconds for her to go 'uh, wait'
<auto-jack> one of my users needs to disable their antivirus <auto-jack> "to run a test." <Redline> testing their will to be employed
--> therevelator (~none@artemis.stud.uni-goettingen.de) has joined #linux-kernel <therevelator> hi. does anybody know how to make the init-process look look like star wars?
<tangent3> george bush wants to send missions to moons and the mars <tangent3> i think the search for weapons of mass destruction is getting desperate
* Quits: Serge (Connection reset by peer) * Joins: Abe <Locke|Away> Have you considred sacrificing a pig to appease the evil spirits plaguing your internet connection, Serge? Western medicine seems to have failed you. <Abe> well, right now it all comes down to the network engineer's bad back. if he hadn't hurt his back, he would have fixed it by now; as it is, he's off until monday <Locke|Away> Well, have you considered sacrificing a pig for his back? An evil dab may have followed him home from work. It might be eating his marrow. <Locke|Away> Look, I'm hungry and I want some fucking bacon. Just kill a pig already.
Berrik I swear I hate German Berrik You take some 3-letter word in English Berrik and in German it's "Schtuffwaftefloswhosit"
<Trigger> anyone here know what kind of virus would create about 100 directories that don't exist? <Rakoth> windows <Adam9> or a corrupted filesystem <Rakoth> that's what I said ;)
<asial> fuck you, youre sometimes just a fucking baby! <`Riku> oh yeah? <`Riku> Well, guess what that makes YOU? <`Riku> A pedophile! <`Riku> and I'll be damned if I'm being lectured by a pervert!
WallJam7: roses are red WallJam7: violets are blue WallJam7: all of my base WallJam7: are belong to you
<The`Artful`Dodger> My fucking physics teacher has a spongebob squarepants poster in his class :| <The`Artful`Dodger> It says "E = MC Squaredpants"
<[NCA]Spank> I was pretty dumb about computers. <[NCA]Spank> Then I learned you could get porn on them. <[NCA]Spank> 3 years later I'm a system administrator.
<Dark_Fox> Kami: if you changed your name to Kame, you would have a much more interesting name :) <Kami> Dark_Fox: And if you changed yours to Dark_Fax, you'd have a more communicative name. :) * Dark_Fox is now known as Dark_Fax <Kami> It'd be... 'telecommunicative.' * Dark_Fax makes noises and bitches because he's out of paper ant toner * <Kami> Oh god, that happened at work today. <Dark_Fax> FEED MEE!!! <SailorV> Nuuuuuuuu * Dark_Fax displays wrong time * * Dark_Fax rings for no reason * * Kami is now known as VCR-clock * Dark_Fax gets a paper jam * * VCR-clock blinks * VCR-clock blinks * VCR-clock blinks * VCR-clock blinks * VCR-clock blinks * VCR-clock blinks <Dark_Fax> PAPPPERRRRR * VCR-clock blinks <Dark_Fax> TOOOOOONEEERRRR * VCR-clock blinks <VCR-clock> :) * Dark_Fax breaks a bearing and bounces around on the counter * <Dark_Fax> FEEEED ERROORRR!!!! NEED PAPER!! * Dark_Fax rings again for no reason * * VCR-clock blinks some more * SailorV runs and hides becuz there are weirdo's in here * Dark_Fax chases SailorV * MY PAPER!!! MY PREEESCIOUUUS!! * VCR-clock blinks * VCR-clock blinks <SailorV> EEEE! * SailorV unplugs the VCR * VCR-clock has quit IRC * Dark_Fax is now known as Dark_Fox <Dark_Fox> ok i think ive peaked the humor of that
<malaclypse> The general rule on about people on IRC seems to be "Attractive, single, mentally stable: choose two"
* maria hurts <maria> and whenever i close my eyes i can see scrolling arrows and hear j-pop <peterS> the first step toward getting rid of a ddr addiction is to admit that you have a problem <maria> yes, i do <maria> one of the pads is broken
<fate-sg> it's almost as bad as rofl <fate-sg> which to me is a bark gone wrong
<Fuzzi> I've never seen more stars in Ozzfest before. <GoRe> Stars? I've seen bigger stars when I accidently sat on my nuts.
<Eglin> yuck.... didn't think that asking about a c# like static string method would start a stinking flame war. <pedantic> Eglin: you are new to irc aren't you
<MortalKombat> stfu mat|t u cu.nt * Acaila sets mode: +b MortalKombat!*@* <@Acaila> FINISH HIM <mat|t> rofl <MortalKombat> omg wtf man * MortalKombat was kicked by Acaila (forward, forward, back, back, forward, punch) <@Acaila> FATALITY!
<@Karnaugh> amazing, Cat5 seems reletivly imune to cellphone radiation <@Pandaemon> Karnaugh: you're going to start wearing a Cat5 turban, aren't you? <@Karnaugh> Pandaemon: Thats what all the arabian hackers wear these days
<Ruth> hmmm first thing to do when one gets home is .... check spam for emails
< tcowher> personally I'm annoyed that they can get 11KBps from mars but can't get me a stable 5KBps over 17 miles.
<Kintai> Yes, boobs are like toy trains <Wallaroo> ? <Kintai> They're meant for children, but grown men tend to end up playing with them anyway. <Placebo> hahahahaha <Placebo> ROFL
* trib has just *almost* burned his flat to the ground <bobstay> wow <bobstay> how did you manage that? <bobstay> the ground's quite a way away <trib> I put a big lump of meat int he oven and roasted it <trib> and used the smoke detector as a timer
<Xenocide> i brought a dvd for a teacher <Dodge2k1> huzzah! <Xenocide> and i have 2 differnt things named EVA on it <Xenocide> iatneh and regular <Dodge2k1> lol <Xenocide> :( i was supposed to bring the regular <Xenocide> but i brought the iatneh on accident <jasonn02> PRON? <Xenocide> It was about to start on the projector <Xenocide> but then i saw the label on the dvd <Dodge2k1> omfg <jasonn02> IT WAS PR0n?!?! <Xenocide> and jumped over and pressed eject before it could start <Xenocide> YES <jasonn02> LOLOL <jasonn02> ROFLMAO <Xenocide> ALMOST PROJECTED ON A HUGE FUCKING SCREEN <jasonn02> NEET <Kabuki_Dude> OMG <Xenocide> i almost had a heart attack
<PitChic> did you all see about that 97 year old woman who was found alive in the rubble of the earthquake in Iran, after 8 days burried? <Marcus``> that's fucked up <Marcus``> old people are like indestructible, as long as they don't don't fall down and break their hip <Marcus``> help! i've fallen and I can't get up! <Marcus``> and a house is on me!
<DrBacchus> fajita: RFC 2795 <fajita> DrBacchus: excuse me? <DrBacchus> fajita: You're supposed to give me a link. <fajita> DrBacchus: i'm not following you... <DrBacchus> dumb bot <fajita> Stupid human
<Fooz> In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their penisses, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship.
< DiEsElBoY-DnB> i gotta a pretty hot woman, she cooks and cleans for me too <@Scruffypoo> DiEsElBoY-DnB: and every night you kiss her before she tucks you in, cause you love your mommy
FFVI: I once told a friend to shoot me if I ever passed 3000 posts on AT. Total Posts Made - 8000...wow :/ arctic pirate: you once had a friend? FFVI: One. But then his parents got a restraining order when I showed up for his kindergarten graduation.
<FirebirdGM> I just called my Futureshop and asked them how much a 20 GB Hard drive weighed when it was full with information, compared to when it was empty. <FirebirdGM> The guy that was on the phone told me that it was only a few pounds difference. <FirebirdGM> And that's why I don't shop at futureshop.
<Masoumi> guys do you know what 133t means? <Zandog> ít mëâñ§ í'££ fµ¢kíñg hâ¢k ÿøµ® ß®âíñ§
<shortyz> call your isp <shortyz> god help whoever has to help your sorry ass <bette> how do i call internet explorer?
<spider> sigh, i gotta go find my alcholic truck again, bbl <FRiZzO> oh yeah she didn't come home with you last night? <spider> negative
<@maddox> FUCK! <@maddox> my mom just found my website <+DMTec> isn't she proud? <+khoveraki> ha <@naken> you've been on tv 2 times, in the newspapers several times, been banned from a country, has 40 million pageviews <@naken> and you didn't tell your mother? <@maddox> "what is this? Did you draw this? It looks like a penis." "No mom, I didn't draw a penis" <+DMTec> ROFL <+DMTec> "no mom, i didn't draw a penis" thats good <@maddox> now she's crying <RichK> haha, your mom doesn't know about your website? <@maddox> (on the phone) <+DMTec> maddox: did she see the "suprise - I have a penis"-greeting card? <@maddox> dmtec: oh fuck, I forgot about that.. yeah I guess I did draw a penis. <RichK> bahahahaha <@maddox> hahahahahaha she just said "I wish I would have died and not raised you" <+khoveraki> rofl <@maddox> she hung up <RichK> You are dispwned maddox
<Kalium> "Home is where the bandwidth is." <Milkdud> lol <Kalium> Someday, I'll have that line on my doormat
<@Butcher90210> lesbian porn is gods way of telling man "you fucked up but i still love you"