[Cerixus] I'll give you $50 if you'll stop trying to tell me how to save money.
<Karl[LB]> I put Linkin Park on and my cat goes running to the speakers and starts attacking them
<frubsen> NEVER tell a girl that your dad just died so she feel sorry for you and go out with you <frubsen> cause when she comes to your door and your dad answers <frubsen> you got some major problems <frubsen> FUCK i'm screwed
<@MORA> THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN <@MORA> Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas. <@MORA> Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash. <@MORA> Between 31 and 35 she is like India. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. <@MORA> Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently ageing but still a warm and desirable place to visit. <@MORA> Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia. Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes and massive reconstruction is now necessary. <@MORA> Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia. Very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away. <@MORA> Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future. <@MORA> After 70, she becomes like Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
<+far2stoned> that reminds me, bought a book when i was in china last year, called How To Woo, thought it might help me with my seduction techniques <+far2stoned> turns out it was volume 2 of the chinese phone book :(
<Kormiic> Ever look at your own code and think, "What the fuck is this meant to do?!" <maznaz> most mornings <Kormiic> I said "code", not "cock" <Kormiic> ;) <maznaz> oh <maznaz> yeah, still most mornings :) <Kormiic> Right, if that doesn't get approved for Bash, I'll rub cum in my eyes.
<|404notfound> when you play DDR, you're dancing with SATAN <|404notfound> unless, you know, you're doing two player <|404notfound> because then Satan doesn't have room to play
-!- WetWired has joined #linux < WetWired> Wow, how... boring. -!- WetWired has left #linux [] <@supruzr> he's gone. bust out with the clowns and the drugs and the hookers.
<Sans_Scope> Oh no! How will Macgyver escape this debacle? <+Shaezerus> Duct tape, chewing gum, and an orbital laser (made from duct tape and chewing gum).
<Altoid> "There are now fewer than 30,000 orangutans left and it is likely that they will become extinct in the wild in as little as 20 years' time if this decline continues," <BridgetJ> awwww poor orangutans <Altoid> I knoooow <Altoid> :( <dregn> i think we should eat more of them <dregn> enjoy them while they are still around
<[G4]CowBook> weren't u beat up by an 8yr old girl like last year? <DannyBoy> she was 12 dude <DannyBoy> big difference <DannyBoy> she caught me off guard <DannyBoy> I would have pounded the little bitch
<anamexis> oh man <anamexis> I was opening a coke, right --> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined # themacmind <anamexis> and it exploded <anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard <anamexis> but I got it away just in time <-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers) <anamexis> :<
<afk> thats why people who "try" to commit suicide dont really want to die <SLoW> did you know, on average, men are more likely to succeed then women? <SLoW> and that a man's weapon of choice is a gun, and a woman's is pills <Candy^^> men never care about making a mess <Candy^^> ;p
<@Fam|work> I was at the airport, and this family were having ALL their bags searched <@Fam|work> and the one teenage girl was bitching at the other teenage girl saying "I told you not to make a joke about a bomb".
<INTERNET> god <INTERNET> I reemmber this one time <INTERNET> in an airplane <INTERNET> I was with my mom <INTERNET> and I was like... 11 <INTERNET> well I saw these things called Sanitary Napkins <INTERNET> I thought they wre wetnaps <INTERNET> like those things from restaurants <INTERNET> so I got like a handful of them <INTERNET> and ran out of the bathroom and I screamed, "MOM!!!! I GOT THOSE SANITARY NAPKINS YOU LIKE SO MUCH!!!!!!" <INTERNET> EVERYONE ON THE PLANE WENT APESHIT AND MY MOM WAS JUST LAUGHING!!!! <INTERNET> she was like, "WILLIAM THOSE ARE TAMPONS NOT WETNAPS!!!"
<gordo> who here knows their trance well? <gordo> i need the title of that trance song, with the choir singing in the background <gordo> (high pitch) la la la la la, la la la la <gordo> (lower) la la la laaaaaaa, la (high) la la <WardoG> Wow that's specific
<[]OTB[]Orange> apparently girls gone wild "just got wilder" <ninex-knp> ? <[]OTB[]Orange> i don't know about you, but i certainly don't want to see willy wonka bare his breasts
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love. Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here. bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
<santa> if nasa was smart they'd send something tomars to grab a huge fucking bucket of mars sand <santa> and take it back <santa> and sell it by the gram <santa> like "MARS SAND KEYCHAINS - 300 bucks" <santa> talk about grassroots funding programs ;)
<Chiffy> hah <Chiffy> I was at a local skateboard shop with my mom <Chiffy> and I look up and see a deck with a picture of a drunk mexican screwing a crocodile and I laugh <Chiffy> she looks up <Chiffy> and mentions something like 'oh animal planet crocodile guy' <Chiffy> it took about 5 seconds for her to go 'uh, wait'
<auto-jack> one of my users needs to disable their antivirus <auto-jack> "to run a test." <Redline> testing their will to be employed
--> therevelator (~none@artemis.stud.uni-goettingen.de) has joined #linux-kernel <therevelator> hi. does anybody know how to make the init-process look look like star wars?
<tangent3> george bush wants to send missions to moons and the mars <tangent3> i think the search for weapons of mass destruction is getting desperate
* Quits: Serge (Connection reset by peer) * Joins: Abe <Locke|Away> Have you considred sacrificing a pig to appease the evil spirits plaguing your internet connection, Serge? Western medicine seems to have failed you. <Abe> well, right now it all comes down to the network engineer's bad back. if he hadn't hurt his back, he would have fixed it by now; as it is, he's off until monday <Locke|Away> Well, have you considered sacrificing a pig for his back? An evil dab may have followed him home from work. It might be eating his marrow. <Locke|Away> Look, I'm hungry and I want some fucking bacon. Just kill a pig already.
Berrik I swear I hate German Berrik You take some 3-letter word in English Berrik and in German it's "Schtuffwaftefloswhosit"
<Trigger> anyone here know what kind of virus would create about 100 directories that don't exist? <Rakoth> windows <Adam9> or a corrupted filesystem <Rakoth> that's what I said ;)
<asial> fuck you, youre sometimes just a fucking baby! <`Riku> oh yeah? <`Riku> Well, guess what that makes YOU? <`Riku> A pedophile! <`Riku> and I'll be damned if I'm being lectured by a pervert!
WallJam7: roses are red WallJam7: violets are blue WallJam7: all of my base WallJam7: are belong to you
<The`Artful`Dodger> My fucking physics teacher has a spongebob squarepants poster in his class :| <The`Artful`Dodger> It says "E = MC Squaredpants"
<[NCA]Spank> I was pretty dumb about computers. <[NCA]Spank> Then I learned you could get porn on them. <[NCA]Spank> 3 years later I'm a system administrator.
<Dark_Fox> Kami: if you changed your name to Kame, you would have a much more interesting name :) <Kami> Dark_Fox: And if you changed yours to Dark_Fax, you'd have a more communicative name. :) * Dark_Fox is now known as Dark_Fax <Kami> It'd be... 'telecommunicative.' * Dark_Fax makes noises and bitches because he's out of paper ant toner * <Kami> Oh god, that happened at work today. <Dark_Fax> FEED MEE!!! <SailorV> Nuuuuuuuu * Dark_Fax displays wrong time * * Dark_Fax rings for no reason * * Kami is now known as VCR-clock * Dark_Fax gets a paper jam * * VCR-clock blinks * VCR-clock blinks * VCR-clock blinks * VCR-clock blinks * VCR-clock blinks * VCR-clock blinks <Dark_Fax> PAPPPERRRRR * VCR-clock blinks <Dark_Fax> TOOOOOONEEERRRR * VCR-clock blinks <VCR-clock> :) * Dark_Fax breaks a bearing and bounces around on the counter * <Dark_Fax> FEEEED ERROORRR!!!! NEED PAPER!! * Dark_Fax rings again for no reason * * VCR-clock blinks some more * SailorV runs and hides becuz there are weirdo's in here * Dark_Fax chases SailorV * MY PAPER!!! MY PREEESCIOUUUS!! * VCR-clock blinks * VCR-clock blinks <SailorV> EEEE! * SailorV unplugs the VCR * VCR-clock has quit IRC * Dark_Fax is now known as Dark_Fox <Dark_Fox> ok i think ive peaked the humor of that
<malaclypse> The general rule on about people on IRC seems to be "Attractive, single, mentally stable: choose two"
* maria hurts <maria> and whenever i close my eyes i can see scrolling arrows and hear j-pop <peterS> the first step toward getting rid of a ddr addiction is to admit that you have a problem <maria> yes, i do <maria> one of the pads is broken
<fate-sg> it's almost as bad as rofl <fate-sg> which to me is a bark gone wrong
<Fuzzi> I've never seen more stars in Ozzfest before. <GoRe> Stars? I've seen bigger stars when I accidently sat on my nuts.
<Eglin> yuck.... didn't think that asking about a c# like static string method would start a stinking flame war. <pedantic> Eglin: you are new to irc aren't you
<MortalKombat> stfu mat|t u cu.nt * Acaila sets mode: +b MortalKombat!*@* <@Acaila> FINISH HIM <mat|t> rofl <MortalKombat> omg wtf man * MortalKombat was kicked by Acaila (forward, forward, back, back, forward, punch) <@Acaila> FATALITY!
<@Karnaugh> amazing, Cat5 seems reletivly imune to cellphone radiation <@Pandaemon> Karnaugh: you're going to start wearing a Cat5 turban, aren't you? <@Karnaugh> Pandaemon: Thats what all the arabian hackers wear these days
<Ruth> hmmm first thing to do when one gets home is .... check spam for emails
< tcowher> personally I'm annoyed that they can get 11KBps from mars but can't get me a stable 5KBps over 17 miles.
<Kintai> Yes, boobs are like toy trains <Wallaroo> ? <Kintai> They're meant for children, but grown men tend to end up playing with them anyway. <Placebo> hahahahaha <Placebo> ROFL
* trib has just *almost* burned his flat to the ground <bobstay> wow <bobstay> how did you manage that? <bobstay> the ground's quite a way away <trib> I put a big lump of meat int he oven and roasted it <trib> and used the smoke detector as a timer