hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 2 in Moderation Queue
#215254 [ + | - ] 630
<xtal> Uh
<xtal> uh
<xtal> uh
<xtal> uh?
<Mazca> stop masturbating quizzically.
#215239 [ + | - ] 204
<Loki> A mammal that lays eggs, is the ultimate breakfast
dish.
#215170 [ + | - ] -69
ResaiHawking: I don't have a library card, baby, but can I
check you out?
#215117 [ + | - ] 856
<bobby> I like you, Krayzie. You represent everything
stereotypical and depthless about today's gay youth.
<KrayzieWolF> well im acually bi
#215069 [ + | - ] 268
<JtotheB> it's a fact that you have to deal with sooner or
later
<JtotheB> the latent homosexuality involved with masturbating
#215067 [ + | - ] 592
<JtotheB> and i think i need to start wearing pants when i
climb that tree in your yard
<Shiv_DFA> you found the boobytraps, did you?
<JtotheB> i got a shuriken in my scrotum
<JtotheB> you tell me
#215052 [ + | - ] 461
* Patrick listens to chopin and strokes his axe... one day,
I'm going to get a girl, or most of one.
#215032 [ + | - ] 141
<[CNI]Smy> k now that i just relized that those were like $200
headphones
<[CNI]Smy> i am gona go out and buy some glue
<[CNI]Smy> and fix em
<[CNI]Goose> get crazy glue, it can even glue your arm back
on, U can use it for emergency surgery in the field....
<[CNI]Smy> no i cant
<[CNI]Smy> cuz then i will have the urge to cut my dogs legs
off and try to glue them back on.
#215028 [ + | - ] 947
<RedRaptor> I am the terror that flaps in the night
<Fruit> ......XXXL womens underwear on a clothes line?
#215017 [ + | - ] 152
< enclaved> apple has apparently made up for its stupid
miniipod
< hangman> what'd it do?
< enclaved> superbowl ads featuring people the riaa sued
< enclaved> its pepsis ad for the free songs
< enclaved> but, apple makes it posssible.
< RageFury> enclaved: So it's gonna pan the camera around
everyone in
the stadium?
< enclaved> heh
< enclaved> they didn't sue that many people...
< RageFury> WELL, Too bad that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers didn't
get
into the superbowl, or else they can pan the
camera around
the team and accuse them of being...pirates.
#215003 [ + | - ] 1603
<Lan_> my iq is a range of 145-178
<kender> is that in kelvin?
#214954 [ + | - ] 435
<RapidX> Hey, was wondering... when buying a fan.. how do you
determine if the fan is a fan that blows in air or blows out?
#214929 [ + | - ] 204
<LordStan> Jed, why can't you have a fake man that has a
magical motor that drives a series of gears and what-not to
make a robot?
<Jedisar> LordStan: Because he's busy starring in a new FF
game.
<LordStan> I would say something sarcastic to that, but
chances are you're right.
#214827 [ + | - ] 570
<Amici|Kitty> 666 is the number of the beast ;P
<momo8D> 6667 is the number of you losing whatever social life
you might have had.
#214810 [ + | - ] 9575
<Fulgore> whats the complement to a 43 degree angle?
<sparks> My you're looking "acute" today
<Fulgore> fuck you
#214794 [ + | - ] 808
[brs`IRC]: Amish girls are incredibly sexual.
[brs`IRC]: You've never had a handjob until you've had one
from a girl who
[brs`IRC]: works a butter churn all day.
#214609 [ + | - ] 81
<torgofan720> I'm still planning on having a love child with
LaggedyAnne by mailing her a vial of sperm frozen in a bag of
freezer veggies
<torgofan720> Gonna name the kid Greenbean
#214581 [ + | - ] 405
<Thund3r> I just thought of something ... since its year of
the monkey does that mean GW Bush will get re-elected?
#214557 [ + | - ] 1098
* HowardDean has joined #politics
<HowardDean> yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
#214502 [ + | - ] 968
<Novasol> heh, I was looking for an emulation site the other
day.... and I was using AvantBrowser, which has a built in
popup blocker...
<Novasol> AvantBrowser makes a sound when it blocks a popup...
<Novasol> I swear, I went to one site and it played the tune
to funky town
#214481 [ + | - ] 58
* AquaJew2 is now known as AquaJew
<Allvah> JewTwo?
<AquaJew> Yea, like MewTwo, but Jewish
<LordRed> Basically, jewtwo's main attack is he lies to your
boss about finding a hair in his soup so you get fired and he
gets a five dollar off coupon
#214476 [ + | - ] 209
<@ImmenseMalevolentCanisLupis> Linux is like a pair of boxers
without the tag cut off. So free but so uncomfortable.
#214440 [ + | - ] 539
<Petersen> damnit
<Petersen> i just stood on a 512meg dimm
<Petersen> anyone wanna buy a pair of half length dimms?
256meg each
#214384 [ + | - ] 441
<Heem> [entropy], have you ever heard of WiFi?
<[entropy]> I don't listen to techno
#214363 [ + | - ] 680
<@Mister_IQ> you ever watch Who's Line is it Anyway?
<@Axiom> of course
<@Mister_IQ> They have the contest where they have to make
every single line a double entendre...
<@Mister_IQ> If you know what I mean...
<@Mister_IQ> I love that
<@Axiom> sounds really hard.
#214361 [ + | - ] 123
<masterchain> go away crimson...
<[OP]CrimsonDeath90210> Actually I will
<[OP]CrimsonDeath90210> As soon as I finish configuring
Windows.
<masterchain> uncheck the "jewish" box
<masterchain> and it'll work fine
<[OP]CrimsonDeath90210> lol
<[OP]CrimsonDeath90210> The thing is
<[OP]CrimsonDeath90210> What's doing the problem
<[OP]CrimsonDeath90210> Is the Hebrew settings
<[OP]CrimsonDeath90210> ...
#214352 [ + | - ] 346
<Saddam_Hussein> This room is being too fucking hateful.
#214318 [ + | - ] 2302
<+Quantsini> when i say the word "ramen" what words come to
mind?
* Ikari has joined #STNJ
<@[Polynomial]> instant
<ph4tkid> ninja
<+Zanshi> porn
<Ikari> instant ninja porn?!?! WHERE???!?!
<+Quantsini> ...
#214230 [ + | - ] 1365
<rastakid> Which one shouldn't be there: rape - monopoly -
incest ?
<seal> Monopoly?
<rastakid> Wrong! Rape, because it's not a family game.
#214183 [ + | - ] 38
<Camper_Bob> What would jesus do?
<Milo> Altar Boys.....
#214115 [ + | - ] 1385
<@j0nkatz> jwbozzy: I have an audi out port on my cd player in
my car.
<@j0nkatz> audio
<nukle> heh.
<nukle> fordian slip.
#213947 [ + | - ] 1075
<Burn132> How do I make it so that I can hear you guys talk
and not just see the captions???
#213946 [ + | - ] 515
<nomad> im getting supermassive black holes
<nomad> woohooooooooooooo!
<nutkase> i saw a porn with that title
<nomad> yeah right
<nutkase> but i think it might have been submissive black hoes
#213926 [ + | - ] 479
<IceToad> anyone listen to the state of the union?
<IceToad> some of his statements confused me
<Syntacs> IceToad: Don't worry, he felt the same way.
#213749 [ + | - ] 1195
<dream|away> Harry Potter's hot.
<dream|away> And every book he gets closer to legal age.
Oooooh yeahhhh.
<dream|away> ...
<dream|away> Someone else say something.
#213722 [ + | - ] 278
<dizdaz89> my mom is getting a new matress...so I have to go
soon
#213719 [ + | - ] -49
<wshs> on @*:TEXT:*allah*:#:kb $nick terrorist!
#213712 [ + | - ] 37
<dFYNE> Geography of a Man
<dFYNE> A man is like Iraq, ruled by a dick.
#213669 [ + | - ] 361
<fr3ak-> atleast when you lose your virginity you will still
have the box it came in
#213624 [ + | - ] 348
<Tiedyeguy> ok this DJ has a wierd sense of humor... "Campus
police is sending out a warning about a prowler around the
university... And now something on my personal playlist"
*plays AC/DC - Night Prowler*
#213586 [ + | - ] 1713
<BlastuR> i'm new to C++ (and C), and I want to learn C++.
I've got Visual C++. It seems to me that a lot of stuff
compiles even if you mix C and C++ code.. is there any way I
can set the compiler in strict C++ mode, I don't want to learn
C/C++ mix mode ;)
<qDotWork> BlastuR: You need a segregating compiler
<qDotWork> I think the KKK has one on their website.
<qDotWork> Also, name your functions things like "NoCHere" and
"CGoHome" and "CIsTheImpureRace", to let C know that you'll
have none of it around.
<qDotWork> I'm actually working some concentration camps for C
right now.
* qDotWork is now known as CppHitler
<kewk> BlastuR, you can't compile only C++, as C and C++
overlap a lot.
<CppHitler> NEIN
<CppHitler> DAS C++ IST DIE ABSCHLIEßENDE LöSUNG
<cynic_X_> HEIL
#213425 [ + | - ] 1317
<Ded`work> "Roses are red, violets are blue, all of my base,
are belong to you"...heh, cute
<Ded`work> a geek valetine poem
<Arcturus> Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF
<phillys> rofl
#213400 [ + | - ] 235
<SCarfAcE> Russia has sent in the army to bolster a week-long
struggle to rescue 10 tons of beer trapped under Siberian ice,
Itar-Tass news agency said Tuesday. A lorry carrying the beer
sank when trying to cross the frozen Irtysh river, and a
rescue team of six divers, 10 workers and a modified T-72 tank
from the emergencies ministry have so far failed to save the
load.
<SCarfAcE> now that's a great allocation of resources!
<Abstruse> scar: And all we had to get that baby out of the
well were firefighters with Vasoline.
#213397 [ + | - ] 749
<Gizmog> I ever tell you guys about my trip to the beach?
<Gizmog> Long story short: I scored.
<Inferior_Minion> A touchdown????
<Gizmog> Kinda. :P
<Gizmog> She took off her bikini
<Gizmog> And I touched her on down.
<Inferior_Minion> 2 hand touch or full contact
<Inferior_Minion> ??
<Gizmog> Let me put it this way:
<Gizmog> I sacked her
<Gizmog> And pretty soon, she was behind the line of scrimmage
<Inferior_Minion> Did she ask for her quarter back?
#213386 [ + | - ] 370
<Bunge> The Clinton administration created a $300 billion
surplus, in a few years the Bush administration has turned
that into a $400 billion deficit, mostly spent on "the war on
terror"
<Bunge> and they claim that is good financial management?
<Bunge> they are a bunch of cnuts
<Kormiic> At least now I'm not terrified...
<Kormiic> Oh... wait...
#213367 [ + | - ] 296
<Pr|muS> (H|J|nX)  BBS Warez?
<Pr|muS> (H|J|nX)  What do you have BBS related?
<hydro> wtf is be back soon warez
#213317 [ + | - ] 31
<brenty|Away> I have to get my afro cut tommorow. Im sad.
<Spitty> brent is my personal hero
<Spitty> YOU HAVE AN AFRO YOU HOMO!?!?!
<Spitty> k, brent is not my hero anymore
<Icez> if he was a superhero, he would be afro ass basher
<Spitty> its now........Sivart
<brenty|Away> You just asked me for a kiss, why are you
calling me a homo?
<Spitty> .....um....LOOK OVER THERE!
<Icez> brent, he thinks if you kiss him he will be turn strait
<Siv{SoSeksi}> I have hair half way to my butt Spitty
<DragonD> didnt need to know that Siv...
<Spitty> yeah, but not a fro
<Siv{SoSeksi}> true
<brenty|Away> You will show respect to the fro.
<Siv{SoSeksi}> DragonD, you asked if I trimmed my pubic hair
in PM 5 mintues ago :S
<Spitty> is it really a fro? or just a gathering of hair?
<Icez> you a black guy brent??
<Icez> do you have soul?
<brenty|Away> African American dude,
<Spitty> oh yeha, yur black....today...
<Icez> I see, so, your from africa?
<brenty|Away> Detroit. Close enough.
<brenty|Away> Im waiting for my reperations so I can buy a
wife.
#213280 [ + | - ] 1298
[@flu1d`]: i wanna fuck a deaf girl
[@tomato]: thats kinda sick
[@flu1d`]: so i can hear her go "woaoaaaaaarrrrrr"
[@pitchblende]: hah
[@flu1d`]: like a wookie
[@tomato]: lol wtf
#213275 [ + | - ] 360
<+MrKite> ah, no more obvious sign of intense boredom than
taking a bendy figure of Mickey Mouse and making it look like
he's pointing at his crotch
#213271 [ + | - ] 154
Tiger28070: see, women were just men that stayed in the cold
too long