<epoch--> crap, getting my license renewed while baked was a bad idea <epoch--> every time they take my picture for it, i end up looking like a criminal.. this time i look like a stoned criminal
WALLOP shadow: $ my throat is killing me.. anyone got tips how to reduce the pain? WALLOP shadow: $ no, it's not caused by swallowing semen WALLOP shadow: $ I don't think swallowing semen would help either WALLOP shadow: $ I see.. so honey + lemon + warm milk/water would help WALLOP shadow: $ no, I'm not going to mix up any semen with that WALLOP shadow: $ I wonder what whiskey + warm milk would taste like WALLOP shadow: $ No, I don't think it would taste like semen WALLOP shadow: $ FINE! I'll try the semen, so shut up already!
<GiLtY2> oh god, this program is killing me * crumpiano fights off program * GiLtY2 has quit IRC (Ping timeout) <crumpiano> i guess the program got him
* MaianAlien goes to reformat other PC. <Jerec> It's as if a million files suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.
< madsen> Lol, just found this in the /.-comments to the win2k source leak. "Real men don't do backups, they just pack their files into windows_2000_source_code.zip and post them to their website.... with torrent links..."
<cheapo> haha, this screen appeared on my windows that said "time before shutdown: 60 seconds" <cheapo> so i turned the windows clock 2 years backwards and now it says "time before shutdown: 729 days" :D:D <cheapo> i just love windows :D
<JediDrunkenLlama> YES! <JediDrunkenLlama> YES YES YES! <JediDrunkenLlama> score one for the JDL. <JediDrunkenLlama> I just convinced a telemarketer that I'm female.
<Jackryan2000guy> You know you've played too much soul caliber when you get the sudden urge in the middle of a calculus test to stand up, wave your fist and yell, "Souls! Come to me!"
seamus: Monday is President's Day. seamus: What are YOU going to get YOUR president? seamus: I'm going to get mine a dictionary and a Clifford the Big Red Dog book.
< kate> wat r u doin ryt now < Patrick`> Trying not to hunt you down and beat you into a pulp with a dictionary.
<gikmo> ill sell you my sister for a sausage roll and a beer... <gikmo> would be more, but she's used.
<Cthulhu> What the fuck is up with all the "roses are red" quotes on bash.org? <Matt> They're cool, that's what... <Cthulhu> Roses are red, violets are blue, SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FUCKING JEW
<Fawn> OMG <Fawn> I just found out that my little brother has the hots for the same actress I have the hots for <AccordionGuy> ACTRESS SANDWICH
<Cas> I used to enjoy going into Best Buy back in 95, do a search on them for *.exe, *.bat, *.com it always came up with a few thousand <Cas> drag all of them to the startup folder <StarManta> ROFL <Cas> walk away and watch :) <mystic_1> rofl <Cas> act innocent <Cas> always worked for me, they never suspected a girl would do that :)
* ian wonders who was responsible for the "stuff that matters" part of the /. slogan ...... <l_oke> ian: I know one thing <l_oke> ian: he's a pathological liar
(SuperMarine): i swear to go (SuperMarine): d (SuperMarine): if that dog next door dosnt shut up (SuperMarine): im going to do something bad (AfroTrance): like complain over irc
<The Monkey>: But my ex girlfriend's dad had one redeeming feature, his wallet <The Monkey>: More capacious than an elephant's scrotum but just as difficult to get your hands on
< mf> LeeCHeSSS, i said it before and i'll say it again < mf> you're too damn serious for the internet < mf> go read bash.org or something < mf> ;D < floris> haha <+LeeCHeSSS> I seriously dislike bash.org <+LeeCHeSSS> And why you think I am too serious for the internet is beyond me. < mf> LeeCHeSSS: you just answered your own question
* ViVa changes topic to 'SELECT boobs FROM under_the_shirt WHERE gender = 'female' AND size > 'enough' AND leftsize = rightsize LIMIT 2;'
<stony> i'm sort of distracted at the moment] <Skip> getting laid? <stony> lol no <Skip> then you have no excuse
<stout> I think smokers invented lighters because smoking makes a person ugly, and they were tired of hearing the same joke all the time: smoker - "Hey, got a match?" non-smoker - "Yeah, your face and my butt."
<spyforthemoon> It's a bad sign when you walk into a room with a high school senior girl talking about 'prom' and think "what's she doing with Programable Read Only Memory?"
<smadge1> Guinness World Records was one site that did consider exactly what they were hosting on the web, and made necessary changes. The record for "Most Individuals Killed In A Terrorist Attack" is 2823 people accord to one page on Guinness' site. Guinness has a feature were you can apply to "Break this record", and this option was placed on every page that contained a record.
finacosa: yous gots to be KIDDIN yo finacosa: you best be steppin yall dont want nunna this shit Nerosan2k: shut you mizzle my fizzle finacosa: awww now it's on Nerosan2k: my footizzle will stomp all ova' yo' shizzle, bitchizzle finacosa: im abouts to blockizzle yo ass Nerosan2k: i will sizzle yo' shizzile at the big hizzle next monizzile finacosa: ? Nerosan2k: the big hizzle, you know, school-izzle finacosa: hahaizzle Nerosan2k: lolizzle finacosa: its like pig latin for dumb people
<gofer-chan> What's the difference between Bill Gate's wife and a computer? <gofer-chan> A computer doesn't mind taking a 3 1/2 floppy.
* Aryeh`AFK has quit IRC (Quit: [16:12] * ObnoxiousFrog reminds Aryeh that a girl on a gaming clan IRC chan is about as common as a unicorn that pisses gold and farts dreams)
<+t4D> man. i think its time to bring the coffee maker into the bedroom <+ScratXP> You may be moving too fast <+ScratXP> take it to a movie first
<supremo>hey, i heard somewhere that the size of the cock a woman enjoys is related to the type of sex she likes most <supremo>chicks who dig giving oral like big cocks, chicks who like regular sex like medium cocks, and chicks who like anal prefer small cocks <tupperware>so your girlfriend must be into nasal, huh supremo <supremo>shut up dipshit
(@WrmSlayer] wow (@WrmSlayer] american scientists are spending millions of dollars learning to grow monkey sperm inside mice... (+smilertoo] have they said WHY? (@WrmSlayer] new product line for mcdonalds
BornDead: my dick says straight but it doesnt mean i love the pussy! BornDead: wait.. BornDead: no BornDead: other way around BornDead: OTHER WAY G13LinK: . . . G13LinK: I wish there were some tool to measure the amount of respect I lose in you every time you say something...
<Jadd-Away> MONROE - An employee at the Wal-Mart store off North Telegraph Road died in Mercy Memorial Hospital here yesterday after he was found lying on the store s floor with head trauma, Monroe County sheriff s deputies said. <Jadd-Away> victim of falling prices?
<+Ralan> atkins works not because its a good diet, because people who are on it burn so much energy because they can't shut the fuck up about being on atkins
<Cheshire> I can't afford those plastic things to cover the electric sockets so I just draw bunny faces on the electric outlets to scare the kids away from them... <RLtim> Newsflash! Kids aren't afraid of bunnies. <Cheshire> Oh they will be...
<RLTim> Procrastination is like masturbation; you're only fucking yourself <Cheshire> Yeah but if procrastination and masturbation were paying jobs, IRC would be full of fucking millionaires.
<Keitaro> I think I know where Michael Jackson got the idea to hang his kid over the balcony. <Keitaro> Lion King.
<Blake`> Buffalo wants to draw in the film industry. <Blake`> What the fuck are they gonna film there? <`Edwin`> Fargo, part 2? <Blake`> "The Adventures of Nanook the Eskimo"? <`Edwin`> Call of the Wild? <Blake`> "Dude, Where's My Economy?"
<+commodore_dude> anyone wanna make me a magic 8-ball in java? <+x24> ask again later
<PaNTs0r> people who cut themselves <PaNTs0r> honest to god <PaNTs0r> what is the point <PaNTs0r> "oh god i'm so depressed *cut* OOWWWWWW!!!! NOW I'M DEPRESSED AND IN PAIN!!!!!"
<ClownyMo> Where do you send Jewish kids with ADD? <Gino> I don't even wanna know this one.... <ClownyMo> Concentration camps!!! <Gino> Oh how rite i was
<WilBeDed> Anyone Alive? <WooShell> no. i am sorry. everyone's dead at the moment. please leave a requiem after the tone.
<VTSquire> stileproject has fucked up my sex life <ashp> VTSquire can't get hard without pissing in his girlfriends face :(
<AcidGame> Shit! <legozrule> What? <AcidGame> I downloaded an xbox emulator, and when I tried playing a game, it locked up, so I decided to end it. <legozrule> Then what? <AcidGame> I accidently clicked 'send error report to microsoft' >_<
<+KrazyKid> is there anything more American than a McDonalds IN a Wal-Mart? <+JitSpout> little cesars in a kmart < Overand> KrazyKid: how about someone stealing from the cash register in the mcdonalds in the wal-mark < Overand> how about snorting coke in the bathroom of the mcdonalds in the walmart <+awed> haha < pvah731> hahah <+KrazyKid> Overand: hmmm. <+JitSpout> how about snorting coke off a hookers ass in the bathroom of the mcdonalds in the walmart? < Overand> heh <+JitSpout> a DEAD hookers ass <+awed> dead from snorting too much coke off the last hooker's ass <+JitSpout> with her head in the toilet, getting swirlied <+awed> CHOCOLATE swirlied <+JitSpout> ohh baby < pvah731> how about someone on welfare with 3 kids that wieghs 300 pounds and is wearing a nascar shirt in mcdonalds in a walmart saying "fuck them sand niggers"
<visi-work> what's the hairy stuff in the cat5 cable for? <BrassMonk> insulation? <rm> its fur.
<Budgie> Opencanvas is a free-for-30-days-and-then-it-breaks program for windows. <Budgie> unless you pay :( <RabbitGod> well I think I'll stick to my photoshop 7 with the kazza lite discount
<oz> i wonder if i can get a gentoo as a pet <oz> they are so cute <ph1zzle> man, that is cute <ph1zzle> I wonder what they taste like
<nyar> ok time to go to work <simpleton> work? <simpleton> oh shit * simpleton &