hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#329959 [ + | - ] 435
<arsen^> just did apt-get update
<arsen^> went to get a coffee, came back and screen is blank
<arsen^> not sure what its doing :o
<@directhex> press a button
<@directhex> it's called a screen saver
<arsen^> why the hell :/
#329906 [ + | - ] 27
<noan> yay more manga
<pingtimeout> heh
<[I> why is japanese cool and not polish
<[I> wtf
<[I> >:[
<pingtimeout> because polish chicks dont eat their own shit
#329897 [ + | - ] 655
volume Maxed out: it's fun talking to "suicidal" chicks
volume Maxed out: because they always make the silliest
excuses
volume Maxed out: for why they haven't succeeded in their
attempts
volume Maxed out: and i give them like
volume Maxed out: every tried and true suicide method
volume Maxed out: including really simple and painless ones
volume Maxed out: and they make up the dumbest excuses
volume Maxed out: like
volume Maxed out: start a car in a garage
volume Maxed out: and sit back
volume Maxed out: and theyre like
volume Maxed out: i dont have a car
volume Maxed out: or
volume Maxed out: my parents wont let me use their car or
something
volume Maxed out: and i'm like
volume Maxed out: bitch your gunna die who gives a shit
#329774 [ + | - ] -30
* Joins: Melissa (java@IRChat-1E088857.prem.tmns.net.au)
<SL69> no you cant have my children im sorry leave
<SL69> ...
* Parts: Melissa (java@IRChat-1E088857.prem.tmns.net.au)
#329767 [ + | - ] 814
<ED> I like my women like I like my coffee
<EliteSoldat> GROUND UP AND IN THE FREEZER
#329622 [ + | - ] 627
tehsolace: lets cyber
d j n p h a s e: mmmk
d j n p h a s e: you be the girl
tehsolace: ok
tehsolace: im a girl
d j n p h a s e: ok
d j n p h a s e: i have to go take a shit
d j n p h a s e: one sec
tehsolace: O_O
#329612 [ + | - ] 413
This is during a joke where 2-D is acting Japanese in another
room

<The_2-D> He said ditto to me, and I said ditto is japanese
for truck
<Ten> AHAHAHA
<Ten> TRUCK
<The_2-D> So he will go through the rest of his life telling
people ditto is Japanese for truck.
<Ten> lets hope so
<The_2-D> And on my death bed, someone will end up using the
word ditto, and someone around my bed will say, "that's
Japanese for truck."
<Ten> AHAHAHAHA
<Ten> youll die laughing
<Ten> and no one will know why
#329553 [ + | - ] 1304
<Artemius> LONDON   Iran has established what could be the
first training center for Islamic suicide attackers.
<Treen> How does one train for a suicide bombing?
<Traveler> It's indoctrination, plus training on how not to
detonate prematurely, and how to get your payload safely to
where you are supposed to explode. I'd imagine there's a fair
amount of "not getting caught" training involved.
<Sketchboy> So a lot like sex-ed?
#329542 [ + | - ] 1960
<`Neonjoe`> http://www.weatherunderground.com/
<`Neonjoe`> hardcore
<vigz0r> its too hard to be normal weather
<vigz0r> they had to go UNDERGROUND
<cooter> dude they tell u the independant weather, not the
fuckin main stream sellout bullshit weather
#329513 [ + | - ] 470
<Hi-Nu> My brother is trying to sing tot he opening score of
LotR
<Hi-Nu> The problem is
<Hi-Nu> THERE ARE NO FUCKING LYRICS
#329409 [ + | - ] 2353
<benja> A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only
question
asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about
solutions to the
food shortage in the rest of the world?"
<benja> The survey was a huge failure...
<benja> In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
<benja> In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest"
meant.
<benja> In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage"
meant.
<benja> In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
<benja> In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution"
meant.
<benja> In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
<benja> And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the
world" meant
#329397 [ + | - ] 546
bug: why arent you sleeping now?
dj:i was having wet dreams so i came to see if you were online
=D
bug: errr..
dj: i was trying to be romantic......
#329373 [ + | - ] 1131
<mixi_dk> Im such a perfectist
<mixi_dk> *pefettionist
<mixi_dk> *perfectonst
<mixi_dk> God dammit!
<mixi_dk> perfrecsist
<mixi_dk> OKAY! I give up!
<MikeClassic> Why? perfectionist is easy to spell..?
<mixi_dk> How did you do that?!
#329345 [ + | - ] 1156
<Oiseau> I like how word puts my last name as mistake when I
type it
<Zig> even word processors know you were an accident
#329292 [ + | - ] 10181
<Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep> rapc?
<Batty> ...
<Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep> oic
<Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall
#329222 [ + | - ] 766
<glix> oh shit... i farted and a little more than air came
out.....
<glix> fuck
<glix> anyone who has tips on how to leave the chair without
making a mess, msg me ASAP
<cainBoy> lmao
#328890 [ + | - ] 368
<orevo> Hmm...How about Alamo State Bank?
<Alex> ...
<Alex> Why should I trust them with my money if they couldn't
even hold the fort?!
#328886 [ + | - ] 1353
fuj1m0t0x: i fractured my wrist
Firehawk18: what you do?
fuj1m0t0x: playin bball
fuj1m0t0x: fell from the rim
fuj1m0t0x: my boner was 3 inches in the air
fuj1m0t0x: boner*
fuj1m0t0x: wtf
#328881 [ + | - ] 607
blingbling30012: ugh a photo of my happy family
blingbling30012: ...
blingbling30012: WITHOUT ME...
dannyericci: that's why they're happy
#328464 [ + | - ] 12455
SparTacus (rulimbaww@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has
joined #santcuary
*SparTacus is now known as Betty_Guns
wacko Jacko (lbeedy@1C57684.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined
#santcuary
<wacko_Jacko>ok spartacus just came n here i know it. which
one of you is that loser?
<hunney> I am spartacus
<ji_pper>no im spartacus
<Betty_Guns>I am spartacus
<mistr andersn>I m spartacus
<wacko_Jacko>ur all freaks thats what u r
#328376 [ + | - ] 506
<arpit> hmmmm; msn news : mtv launches gay network
<arpit> I thought they'd been doing that since day 1....
#328236 [ + | - ] 669
(@timbaker) man
(@timbaker) today
(@timbaker) me and my fiencee got in a big ass fight
(@timbaker) and almost ended things
(@timbaker) but then we got back together and i takled her
into letting me watch her shave her pussy
#328175 [ + | - ] 750
Scrodule: i have an interesting obesrvation
ezeerB: ?
Scrodule: if you swing your finger by your ear really fast,
you get this very low sounding "wfff" noise
Scrodule: hmm, that sounded more profound while i was thinking
about it
#324098 [ + | - ] 515
(+fresh27) Before beginning Instant Maya, you should have a
working knowledge of your computer's operating system. You
should know how to use a mouse.
(+fresh27) i wonder how many people are trying to learn maya
(+fresh27) but then they get disappointed when they find they
have to learn how to use a mouse first
#319249 [ + | - ] 1604
<Zeta7> I'll just avoid downloading porn
<Zeta7> heh
<pkeffect> :D
<Zeta7> that's where the viruses come from usually
<pkeffect> just like in real life
#315517 [ + | - ] 785
<tHEMiDENS> ok, anyone got their list sent to fbi ?
<fyre> i have the fbi with me now
<fyre> we're watching shrek 2
#315489 [ + | - ] 481
<Woodsman> im waiting for duke nukem forever to come out
<Phoenix> Damn, now that's patience.
#315336 [ + | - ] 211
Dave: I support R. Kelly.  I saw the video, and that bitch
wanted it. The theory is, if the girl is walking in the mall
without her parents.. like alone or just with friends... then
she's ready to get some dick.
Banderon:  Dave, look!  Those 12 year olds don't have a parent
with them! Go! Go!
#315298 [ + | - ] 586
<Mr`Death> Hey Queued, know of an easy way to reduce speaker
noise?
<Boinger69> turn down the volume?
#315118 [ + | - ] 637
InaGreendase: he got arrested...
InaGreendase: for sexually harrassing himself..
InaGreendase: yes, himself.
InaGreendase: he was looking in a mirror or something and
saying to himself
InaGreendase: "You're so sexy, you bitch...i wanna fuck you so
bad...you'd look even hotter if those pants were tighter.."
InaGreendase: and that dorm's RD was watching the whole time
#315042 [ + | - ] 3390
<sexor> I went shopping last night at like 1am. the place was
empty, and this old woman, just making polite convertation,
said to me: "where is everyone??".
<sexor> I replied: "In bed, same place you and I should be!"
<sexor> Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a
dirty look
#314921 [ + | - ] 299
CianMTF: So... i was like on this site
CianMTF: "unprecedented computer recovery techniques!"
ShateredLifetime: "We use different hammers to find out which
one makes it work"
#314798 [ + | - ] 1073
<@Shai`tan> Know what the best part of pirated software is?
<@Shai`tan> the cool songs that play in the cracking programs
#314712 [ + | - ] 1351
(@JH) you know you can get stuff engraved on an iPod? I was
thinking about this..
(@JH) RIAA v. JH - Exhibit A
#314704 [ + | - ] 1080
<Knuckleskin> i know someone here who was sent to prison cos
he had nunchucks in the boot of his car
<Swiss_Cheese> holy shit, over there ur cars have boots?!
<Swiss_Cheese> ours have wheels
#311502 [ + | - ] 1263
<SvinX> whats the file in /etc that controls the profile?
<k> /etc/profile ?
<SvinX> .. i realise i didnt word that very well
<SvinX> yea could be it
<SvinX> thx
<shiftyphil> what's the tool you use to shovel dirt?
#311375 [ + | - ] 2485
<DigDug> ....
<ogw-iii> ...
<Denshuu> ..
<silicon> all excellent points
#311282 [ + | - ] 862
( l008com) Hey does anyone know how David Blaine levitates?
( LoganCale) There are two ways.
( LoganCale) One way he's on a cable and they digitally edit
it out.
( l008com) no he's on ABC thats not cable
#310706 [ + | - ] 530
<SoberIRL> my gf is getting her tongue pierced soon :D
<Drewtetz> you can finally find out what it'll be like to have
a rod and two balls in your mouth!
#310549 [ + | - ] 241
<james>once when I was at work at a cafe a man came in and
ordered 3 'cappucini'
<morg>haha
<james>I asked him if he would like a biscotto to go with that
#310385 [ + | - ] 857
<peebles> how about a new low CARB diet
<peebles> No Cheney
<peebles> No Ashcroft
<peebles> No Rumsfeld
<peebles> No Bush
<peebles> And forget about the Rice.
#310380 [ + | - ] 357
<Rapala> i'm not sure if i'm supposed to go to work tonight
<Rapala> so i'm gonna sit here and see if they call
<DrunkOM> sounds like a plan
<Rapala> there are 2 others doing it as well, and the best way
to be wrong is to be wrong in a group
<HFM> the best way to be wrong is to find out it's really not
your kid..
#310362 [ + | - ] 891
splibob: I think we have a conflict of interest
jenneh: what's that?
splibob: me not being interested in talking to you
#310216 [ + | - ] 1529
<Anime-Sama> While most people ask themselves "WWJD" (What
Would Jesus Do), I've decided to turn to the more appropriate
"WTGML," which is an acronym for "Will This Get Me Laid."
#310023 [ + | - ] 382
<t-f-i> An officer in the U.S. Naval Reserve was attending a
conference that included admirals from both the U.S. Navy and
the French Navy. At a cocktail reception, he found himself in
a small group that included personnel from both navies.
<t-f-i> The French Admiral started complaining that whereas
Europeans learned many languages, Americans learned only
English. He then asked, "Why is it that we have to speak
English in these conferences rather than you speak French?"
<t-f-i> Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied:
"Maybe it is because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies, and
Americans arranged it so you would not have to speak German."
The group became silent.
#309732 [ + | - ] 1103
* Inthesto can imagine this dialogue.
<Inthesto> "He's ill."
<Inthesto> "You mean he's dope?"
<Inthesto> "No, I mean he's sick."
<Inthesto> "So he's cool?"
<Inthesto> "NO I MEAN HE IS NOT PHYSICALLY WELL HE IS
DISEASED"
<Inthesto> "oic"
#309397 [ + | - ] 13086
<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you shit on the floor, and
you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually
landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it
<peng> ...
<peng> what?
<VolteFace`> oh shit
<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you DROP shit
#309343 [ + | - ] 1717
<TheShadowHunter> I wish I wore an eyepatch
<TheShadowHunter> itd give me that air of mystery that the
ladies find irresistible
<Saria> Ahahaha
<Saria> Wtf
<Saria> Yeah, eyepatches totally up teh sekz0r fact0r
<TheShadowHunter> psssh you say that now
<TheShadowHunter> but wait till youre milling around at a
party
<TheShadowHunter> and all of a sudden the doors open and I
walk in wearing a tux and an eyepatch
<TheShadowHunter> and people gasp
<TheShadowHunter> and an uncomfortable buzz fills the room as
people try to return to their former joviality
<TheShadowHunter> "I heard he lost that eye defending an
orphanage from a killer!"
<TheShadowHunter> "I heard he lost it deep in the amazon!"
<TheShadowHunter> "Hes so mysterious!"
<TheShadowHunter> "So sexy!"
<TheShadowHunter> and all the ladies would want me
<TheShadowHunter> till I tell them I was running with
silverware and stabbed myself in the eye with a fork
#309208 [ + | - ] 440
<fetus> Hooters- "Chicken tastes better with a boner."
#309198 [ + | - ] 744
«single_14yrold_male» any1 wanna cyber? im almost 16