hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#349094 [ + | - ] 722
(alchemist) does a ps2 gameshark let you play burnt games?
(Victor`) the short answer is: yes, you can play burnt games
with a ps2 gameshark.
(alchemist) long answer?
(mojo) it was the best of times, it was the worst of times...
#349015 [ + | - ] 403
ohnoitschris: White Castle: The OTHER guilty pleasure that
makes you scream in the bathroom
ohnoitschris: ...
ohnoitschris: I am so sorry.
#348858 [ + | - ] 465
<Kaotic> I'm probably going to have to get wireless
eventually, my brother keeps punching "network holes" in the
walls
#348837 [ + | - ] 448
<Zero_Flaw> Wow, I just saw my dad surfing the net looking at
health sites about STD's. No wonder he was trying to shield
the computer screen from me. But, I could still see Herpes at
the top left.
<Zero_Flaw> Even worse, 5 minutes later my mom gets on the
computer and looks at the same thing.
<Zero_Flaw> I should have been a bastard and said, "Mom, you
don't look like you're feeling too well, something wrong?"
#348790 [ + | - ] 580
<DisgruntledBadger> Why do they call it tourist season if we
can't shoot them?
#348697 [ + | - ] 2024
CascadeOrca: HAPPY FATHERS DAY!
Lerxs: indeed
CascadeOrca: I don't have a real father
CascadeOrca: so you're all my dad today
CascadeOrca: Congratulations.
Sixteen Bit Hero has left the room.
CascadeOrca: damnit, just like my real father
clash103 has left the room.
CascadeOrca: DADDIES! NOOOES!
Wiggidiba has left the room.
#348650 [ + | - ] 510
<N1k1tA> can't we just get along?
<tulkas> no
<tulkas> we can't
<Renegade> yeah that would suck
<N1k1tA> i hate you guys
#348528 [ + | - ] 316
<sd> my mom got pissed at me today
<sd> I was wearing the "the axe effect" and it must have
turned her on, because she told me to leave the room and stay
away from her =/
#348516 [ + | - ] 1499
<vodak> Adding files to WinAmp has gotten much easier now that
I realized 'enqueue' wasn't spanish...
#348515 [ + | - ] -96
<karaipantsu> Women want equal rights, but we have to do all
the work in bed. :-p
<karaipantsu> Girls need to get their sexuality out on their
sleeves, like us men.
<karaipantsu> Then everyone would be fucking everyone else,
and the species would die out from STD's
<Idle> karaipantsu - STDs can't even kill off homosexuals,
what makes you think they can kill off the rest of humanity?
#348507 [ + | - ] 927
<Moose> Is a girl I've been shagging for a few months but not
really 'going out with', as my heart lies elsewhere.
<Moose> Anyway, cut a long story short, she's moving up to
Glasgow in 2 weeks, and as a going away gift for her, my mates
between them have offered me £90 if I can film myself
performing a 'Spiderman' on her.
<Moose> FYI A 'Spiderman' is the art of pulling out just
before the vinegar strokes, chucking your fat into your hand,
then flinging it in the girls face whilst triumphantly
shouting "Go web go!!"
#348498 [ + | - ] 9216
<MasterG>
.....................................................................
..................................
<judas> where's pacman when you need him?
#348482 [ + | - ] 922
<HEIST> I hate early am with no sleep. I hear the voices
inside my head..
<HEIST> The flashbacks.. the urges..
<HEIST> Like I'm dropping down a well into a pit of
something..
<HEIST> I can LITERALLY hear voices whispering in my ears
<HEIST> saying things
<HEIST> wicked things
<HEIST> telling me what to do
<Vortex> what are they saying now?
<HEIST> "drink more ovaltine"
#348450 [ + | - ] 2858
OnlineHost:  Sheila41428 has entered the room.
d00d903:     hi there sheila! 17/m/tx wanna cyber?
Sheila41428: sure
d00d903:     asl
Sheila41428: 48/f/tx
d00d903:     the hell? mom?
Sheila41428: OH JESUS FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
OnlineHost:  Sheila41328 has left the room.
#348436 [ + | - ] 775
<nostal> What are the dimensions of those little MSN display
pictures?
<esuna> 2D
#348401 [ + | - ] 563
Shivanfire: maybe I should go into politics
Shivanfire: I've always wanted to fuck a lot of people at the
same time
#348365 [ + | - ] 877
<Royce> :(
<Hynox> Why the sad face Royce?
<Royce> I just went to Ask Jeeves and searched for Thesorus.
<Royce> It told me i should look for a Dictionary first.
#348129 [ + | - ] 2295
(sadik): nothing gayer than 2guys and a chick
([sic]): well there's two guys and no chick
([sic]): that's pretty gay
#348080 [ + | - ] 666
<booyah> yeh i use perl too
<booyah> wrong window, ignore me
<andywho> Don't worry, you use perl, we ignore you
automatically
#348078 [ + | - ] 164
<toqer> hey germ, I think you would like my wifes friend
michelle
<Germ> does she like sex
<toqer> next time you're out here, we need too hook you two up
<Germ> No thanks i dont like being "hooked up"
<toqer> she like sex, weed, and eating
<Germ> eh
<Germ> wait how much eating?
#348034 [ + | - ] 237
<Squatter> Liking Russians is one of those neutral things that
doesn't say anything about someone
<Lush> Yes it does
<Lush> After Khaled told his friends about me, they all wrote
to say that Russians are fabulous in the general vicinity of
the bedroom
<Lush> I didn't know whether or not to be offended, so I just
smiled politely
<Squatter> Really? I never heard that. Normally I think first
and foremost of the arts, then brutally oppressive government
<Lush> I think the former does not contadict the statement
about bedrooms
<Squatter> Neither does the latter
#348029 [ + | - ] 1764
<Orajim> I was in the bathroom today and written above one of
the urinals said "The joke isn't on the wall, it's in your
hands"
<Orajim> I never felt so small in my life.
#347793 [ + | - ] 2927
<Nudger> The Internet is great, but the best thing it's ever
done is when a bored schoolfriend of mine set the school's
website's background to Goatse.
* Antifreez sighs
<Antifreez> So many memories attached to that song.
<Nudger> It was so great when the IT teacher opened the page
on a huge projection screen, and without looking at it, said
"We, shall be attemping THIS, boys!"
<Nudger> I swear, I was almost sick from laughing.
#347268 [ + | - ] 2040
<cow_hax0r> HOLY HOLY FUCKING SHIT AFK A SEC
<leecher> er...
<cow_hax0r> Sorry back
<leecher> what's the problem, house on fire?
<cow_hax0r> No I had to get a drink
<leecher> so why the urgency?
<cow_hax0r> Well... I REALLY had to get a drink
<leecher> so your house wasn't on fire or being attacked by
ninja's?
<cow_hax0r> Well.. no, but my throat was kinda dry
#347115 [ + | - ] 1661
<tRonz0r> I'm $4 poorer, 1 bandanna richer and I still don't
look like a pirate
<tRonz0r> yarrrrrr, tis a sad day.
#346997 [ + | - ] 916
<KitBoxPocket> jesus christ
<KitBoxPocket> we've had this number for ten years
<KitBoxPocket> TEN. YEARS.
<KitBoxPocket> And we STILL get calls from people asking for
the fucking Hatfields!
<KitBoxPocket> I swear, one of these days I'm going to answer
with "No! We's the McCoys and we's a-feudin'!"
#346467 [ + | - ] 1815
<sideburns> they opened a restaurant a few blocks away
<sideburns> it's a lesbian restaurant
<UncleGivey> HAHAHAHA
<sideburns> err... lebanese
<UncleGivey> "Hey honey, there's that new restaurant down the
street... feel like eating out?"
#346240 [ + | - ] 1316
(lawngrl): im gonna insert my ipod in my vagina tonight and go
to sleep i love it so much
(Fire_on_High): I'm quite sure that'll void your warranty
#345974 [ + | - ] 695
* Joins: HarryPott
(Cool@adsl-67-66-94-237.dsl.okcyok.swbell.net)
<HarryPott> what is a proxy
* Parts: HarryPott
(Cool@adsl-67-66-94-237.dsl.okcyok.swbell.net)
<Maritim> it is a thing that takes longer than 44 seconds to
explain
#345591 [ + | - ] 222
<Anla_Shok> hmm, i guess i just prefer a landrover to a
marriage
<Anla_Shok> unless the marriage comes with a landrover
<Anla_Shok> then i would have to rethink
#345535 [ + | - ] 473
[+[-BONG-]] small things amuse small minds....
[detepe] bong: not true, most of the cheerleaders I know love
big dicks :(
[+[-BONG-]] kind of leaves you out huh?
[detepe] bong: yeah, it sucks :(
#345144 [ + | - ] 2312
<forceflow> hah, there are two quotes on bash rated 1337
<forceflow> that's awesome
<ItlnStaln> You're going to be a virgin for life, you know
that?
#344096 [ + | - ] 1698
<Mango> Haha, I went to the bathroom, came out, and ripped off
a piece of sweet bread that was on the table and my dad says
"What the hell are you doing? Did you wash your hands?"
<Mango> I said "no, but I didnt piss on my hands so dont
worry"
<Mango> "doesnt matter" he says "your hands were still all
over your dick"
<Mango> "Who cares? My dick, along with my entire body, came
out of YOUR dick"
<Mango> So now we can't look eachother in the eyes anymore.
#343937 [ + | - ] 1295
<BlackAdder> no, because ds told me that building a comp is
like putting together lego
<BlackAdder> and then i went and tried putting lego together
to see
<BlackAdder> and i cut my finger
#343917 [ + | - ] 455
<RenegadeC> I have to talk to that girl who came over to my
house friday night
<RenegadeC> because she left her bracelet here
<CardO> was she hot?
<RenegadeC> yes
<RPG> RenegadeC: sheep don't have bracelets; they have
collars.
#343901 [ + | - ] 1260
<fugi> I put a note on our fridge saying "find what I peed in
and win $1", roomates though it was funny, but a couple
friends of ours refused to have some applejuice.
#343825 [ + | - ] 1989
<[-Blacksword-]> brb, dishes have developed their own language
and are talking to the garbage about overthrowing me... i must
correct this
#343805 [ + | - ] 1845
<Elbonio> You know how women say "I wouldnt sleep with you
even if you were the last man on earth" ? Well if you WERE the
last two people on the earth, i hardly think sex is the first
thing on your mind... it's clearly going to be "let's raid
Toys'R'us.."
#343725 [ + | - ] 959
<MootSux> I found a way to irc from work
<MootSux> Mootar 1, productivity 0.
#343370 [ + | - ] 650
R-Salamander: Look at me, look at you! Watch me do that
Pikachu!
PeteMantis: (scratches records)
R-Salamander: We stayed out 'til two o' clock! Watch me do a
Thundershock!
PeteMantis: (scratches records)
R-Salamander: I am bored as hell tonight.
MonkeyBoy: Watch me do the Dragonite!
R-Salamander: Dude... We stopped doing that crap like five
minutes ago. Come on.
PeteMantis: We did?
#342833 [ + | - ] 2269
<Rach> when i get my old puter back i'll send you some songs
<Olly> What happened to it?
<Rach> i broke it
<Olly> On purpose?
<Rach> i wouldnt say PURPOSE
<Rach> just stupidly
<Olly> Ahh
<Olly> So you do know exatly what's wrong with it?
<Rach> yeah, it's full of water
#342779 [ + | - ] 987
NbVb16Mb009: i know have you ever had the weed that smells
like christmas trees
NbVb16Mb009: it is some good shit
Me: hahahahhahah, you got dicked over. somebody sold you some
pine tree branches and told you it was weed
Me: do you smoke?
NbVb16Mb009: no dude im a dealer shit it was weed and yea i
smoke all the time
NbVb16Mb009: have you ever made a beer bong
Me: bull shit, you aren't a dealer
Me: hahahahah, are you retarded?
NbVb16Mb009: ok but if you ever want some just talk to me
about it
Me: just so you know, i don't believe you. what kind of weed
do you sell?
NbVb16Mb009: shrooms
#342633 [ + | - ] 7897
<Quake-Hat> brad, your mom is fine as shit
<Quake-Hat> i think i will masturbate to her while i play with
my balls
<bad_brad> brad had to go blow his nose, but thanks for the
compliment, i will be calling your mother
<Quake-Hat> Jesus-fucking christ!!!
#342596 [ + | - ] 1602
<Calvinosaur> You missed philosophy class today, huh?
<71mm34> yeh
<Calvinosaur> You know how Mr. Warren's policy is to read all
the passed notes out loud to the entire class?
<71mm34> no ive never expereinced it
<Calvinosaur> Well, we really threw him for a loop today ...
<Calvinosaur> Josh passed a note that made it around the whole
class before Mr. W caught it.
<Calvinosaur> Mr. W read it, walked out the door, and came
back in ten seconds later.
<Calvinosaur> We were in stitches at this point.
<71mm34> wat did it say
<Calvinosaur> "Mr. W's fly is open."
#342139 [ + | - ] 1719
<FlourescentGerbil> My mom is going to kill me
<FlourescentGerbil> I was supposed to be watching my little
brother, but while I was jacking off to porn, my brother
wasted a quarter pound of beef trying to create a beef
milkshake
#342068 [ + | - ] 1138
<patteam717> If Neo got into a fight with Aragorn, Neo would
win hands down
<kissmeimtoxic> that may be true but if Agent Smith got into a
fight with Elrond that would just be dumb
#341825 [ + | - ] 221
<Fitteh> My cellphone has a clock in it though and that is
what I use.
<ptj225A> Don't you have the Speaking Clock?
<MaxBack> Who doesn't? Here, let me just pull my time-midget
out of my pocket and slap his bottom. Sounds like it's 2:24,
and that's in the P.M.
#341783 [ + | - ] 527
[Vexidus] When i shared my pics folder i had like 5000 naked
pics of my girl shared
[Vexidus] but nobody ever downloaded
[Sanctum] Vex has a daughter?
#341627 [ + | - ] 1271
<Porthos> did you hear about the new pirate movie?
<Porthos> it's rated PG-13
<Porthos> wait
<Porthos> damnit
#341298 [ + | - ] 742
<Raven> YOU LIAR ENJOI
<Raven> gayanal.com not a warez!