<blanco> chicks dig ignorance <blanco> but only as long as do it with an accent
mojo: oh my god that was the greatest ever mojo: UPS guy was at my door delivering some stuff to me mojo: and this guy from across the street was on the sidewalk talking to him about a cell phone delivery or some nonsense mojo: and the UPS guy says "crazy foreigner from across the street keeps bothering me, i don't even think he has a house" mojo: "he probably drives a taxi because he can't get a real job" mojo: and i smiled at him and said "yea. nothing at all like driving a UPS truck." *SLAM*
<NightShade> hey Bamihap, lets do a singalong :D <NightShade> The internet is really really great <Bamihap> FOR PORN <NightShade> i got a fast connection, so i dont have to wait <Bamihap> FOR PORN <NightShade> there's always some new site <Bamihap> FOR PORN <NightShade> i browse all day and night <Bamihap> FOR PORN <NightShade> its like surfing at the speed of light <Bamihap> FOR PORN <Bamihap> WHY DO YOU THINK THE NET WAR BORN??? <Bamihap> PORN PORN PORN!!!! <herr_flick> roflol <NightShade> I'm glad we have this new technology <Bamihap> FOR PORN <NightShade> which gives us untold opportunity <Bamihap> FOR PORN <NightShade> from your own desktop, you can research browse and shop <Bamihap> FOR PORN <NightShade> untill you want to stop <Bamihap> FOR PORN <Bamihap> ALL THESE GUYS UNZIP THEYR FLIES <Bamihap> FOR PORN PORN PORN <herr_flick> lmao!!! <Bamihap> SO GRAB YOUR DICK AND DOUBLE-CLICK <Bamihap> FOR PORN PORN PORN!!!! <NightShade> o.m.f.g. :D <Bamihap> sorry shade, we masturbate ;)
R0ry » what shall i get my bro for his bday R0ry » he's 25 bazmalti » an anal probe? bazmalti » lol R0ry » i said 25 R0ry » not german
DarkNeo: Pedophilia is like golf, DarkNeo: you hit for the lowest you can DarkNeo: It's all good till it gets to 18, DarkNeo: then the fun stops.
::: Joins: STRAUSS (Simmons@Kitchener-HSE-ppp3578448.sympatico.ca) (STRAUSS) hey how do i change my quit message (@Seriph) /quit message (STRAUSS) ty ::: Quits: STRAUSS (Simmons@Kitchener-HSE-ppp3578448.sympatico.ca): Quit: message ::: Joins: STRAUSS (Simmons@Kitchener-HSE-ppp3578448.sympatico.ca) (STRAUSS) ban Seriph!
<dragman> Did you know the legal age of consent in Canadia is 14? <lockdown!> Interesting...all i need now is a cheap flight and some deodorant <lockdown!> I think Hollands has a low consent age as well <dragman> Hehe. You go that way, I go this way and we meet in the middle. Highest kiddy total wins £20 <lockdown!> The game is on
<MoonlightShadow> I'm exhausted and as a result of that, sick <BlueTicona> pms moon <MoonlightShadow> I do not have pms! <BlueTicona> no <BlueTicona> i mean pm's
<SJEZealot> You know your car is slow when it has a blue circle with the letters F-O-R-D in it. <Zoomzoom123> At least they circled the problem.
<berkley> that was wierd <angled-diamond> berkley: what was? <berkley> i walked into my friend's dorms room, and it was empty. but the computer was on, and it showed some chic getting it in the ass. so i closed the door and dropped my pants. midway into wacking off and i noticed something <microfform> ? <angled-diamond> ? <berkley> there were no girls...and u know whats sad? <angled-diamond> that you finished jerking off? <berkley> ...yes
<underground> someone grabbed my ass today in physics <Ludvig> that's not too bad either <Ludvig> unless it was a guy <underground> ...i go to an all boys school
<[Cadaver]> There were three people on an airplane. One was Thomas Jefferson. One was George Bush. And the last was Bill Clinton. They opened up the airplane door and Thomas Jefferson threw out a 100 dollar bill and said "I just saved a family!" George Bush looked at Jefferson and then threw out 2 100 dollar bills. He then said, "I just saved TWO families!" Bill Clinton looked at Thomas Jefferson then at George. He sighed and pushed George Bush off the plane and said "I just saved the world!" ^_^
<born1986> why the fuck isn't my disc drive working <born1986> i fucking worked on that essay for three friggin' hours in school <born1986> i now i cant finish it 'cos my fuckin drive ain't working <Z00ass> you got the right drivers? <born1986> hell yes <born1986> it was working fine yesterday <born1986> why does this shit always happen to me? <Z00ass> maybe that little clip on the side is i nthe wrong position <born1986> i havent touched it since school <born1986> i'm growing impatient <born1986> ANGRY even <Z00ass> throw that shit out tha window . . . <born1986> OMG i fuckin did it!!! <born1986> FUCK!!!!! <Z00ass> it works? <born1986> no, i threw it out the window <Z00ass> the disk? <born1986> NO the whole drive <born1986> i live on the 6th floor, made a nice *smash* <Z00ass> :D <born1986> FUCK SHIT FUCK <born1986> THE DISK WAS STILL INSIDE <born1986> brb . . . <born1986> shit <Z00ass> what? did ya break it? <born1986> well i couldn't open the drive <born1986> so i had to pound it against a rock <Z00ass> :o <born1986> quite HARD <born1986> and you know what? <born1986> that fucking disk wasnt even there <Z00ass> ??? <born1986> i got so mad i threw the remaiders of the drive on to the freeway <born1986> and when i got back upstairs i foud the disk inside my bag <Z00ass> lol <born1986> I NEVER EVEN PUT IT IN THE DRIVE <born1986> i'm actually cryin right now . . . <born1986> wonder if i could make that drive work again <born1986> brb
(@Shockwave) Windows 3.11 calculator is broken in an amusing way. (@Shockwave) Put in 3.01 - 3 and it gives you 0, every time. (@Shockwave) Hurray for flaws in MS's basic math table (JIM_BOB7813) Well if you need a calculator to do that, you deserve that answer :P
(oSiRuS) I'm 19 years old and I have absolutely NO experience with women. Never had a kiss, never had a hug, never had so much as a handshake, and I have no idea why. (oSiRuS) I'm not a nerd. I don't have acne or glasses, I'm not fat. There's really nothing wrong with me, I just can't understand why I'm such a worthless candidate for dating. (@KillJoy) try walking out of the front door
<y0da> if they took the porn of the internet there would only be one website left and that would be www.bringbackbacktheporn.com
FuzzyCrare: i'm in love with a video game character Macross86: that's sad, pathetic, and completely understandable
PaladinPrince555: today at highschool therewere these little punk ass 3 year old skater kids and they were trying to do these tricks and shit and sammi sadi LAND IT! and the little kid said SHUT UP! and i said shut up you little punk! i could kick your little ass! and he said SHUT UP then i said watch this and grinded the whole bench and they watched then the little punk said.... oh yeah? WATCH THIS! and he tried to do the same thing and he fell on his little punk ass BentlyCadillac: ahh BentlyCadillac: LMAO BentlyCadillac: HAHAHAHAHA BentlyCadillac: wait....he was 3?
<@Mord> u fucked yo momma last night shin <@Mord> no...i mean i did <@Mord> you did... <@Mord> i mean the one thats most instulting :/ <+SHIN-SHIN> rofl
<tmb^work> even c64 can connect to the internet <tmb^work> irc + web <tmb^work> what do you need more? <garg^work> porn :D <triple> Porn.
<Ev> wow my roommates and i are so lazy, instead of gettting up and going to the other's room to say good night we IM each other good night that;s the Epitome of digital dependence
<^head^> A nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or female?" <^head^> After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well God is both male and female." <^head^> This confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?" <^head^> "Well," she says, "God is both black and white." <^head^> This really confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?" <^head^> Feeling a bit out of her depth, but wanting to be consistent, the mother answers, "Honey, God is both gay and straight." <^head^> At this the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks... <^head^> "Is Michael Jackson God?"
<<p3ps1c4n>> I just killed a bee that was flying around my kitchen. <<sp0rkk>> omg, dude.. LOL!! <<sp0rkk>> this one time, i caught a bee and put it in a cup inside the freezer.. <<sp0rkk>> and then i took it back out, and tied a string to it.. 'cause it was frozen so it wouldn't sting me.. <<sp0rkk>> and then it thawed out and came back to life.. so i was like "whee!", walking around.. <<sp0rkk>> and then the fucker started chasing me around, trying to sting me! <<p3ps1c4n>> Rofl! <<sp0rkk>> so i smashed it with a frozen block of bacon. <<p3ps1c4n>> I fear for your cat. <<sp0rkk>> dude, stfu.
<ninevolt> I may not be Jesus but my penis gives women a religous expereience. <skittz> haha <skittz> yeah <skittz> it turns them into nuns
<apollyon> oh i'm so happy! <apollyon> my girlfriend just told me she wants to dual boot! <Nastard> is that geek for "see other people"?
DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
[jbroome] mandrake 10.1 Community is available for download for the common folk now. [ jbroome] 'careful though, it's French [ admiralfrijole] damn frenchies [ jbroome] in installed SuSE on my network and the mandrake box surrendered [ admiralfrijole] sheesh...terrible [ jbroome] are you shitting me? That's comedy gold right there [ fatstrat] ROFL!!!!!!! love it!
Soren: man, the woman next door should put a muffler on her vibrator Svetlana3k: wow Soren: it sounds like a lawnmower engine Soren: and I dearly hope it is not
queenren24: i need your advice queenren24: cause you're a guy and all MrFluffyPants26: that I am queenren24: what would you, as a guy, rather have for your birthday or christmas: a video game or that axe stuff that smells SOOO good? MrFluffyPants26: Axe DOES smell good... MrFluffyPants26: what video game? queenren24: rome: total war MrFluffyPants26: hm... MrFluffyPants26: probably the game MrFluffyPants26: but give him sexual favors too MrFluffyPants26: can't go wrong with that queenren24: :O MrFluffyPants26: precisely
<Alluvium> They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards, you hear satanic messages. Thats nothing, cause if you play it forwards, it installs Windows. :p
<+phlange> i said 'dhcp' and the tech support guy started to cry and go 'i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job'
< CryptoCat> fucking oracle. < CryptoCat> rhymes with horrible < CryptoCat> I probably wouldnt hate it so much if Elison wasnt such a nutjob. < siglite> well, at least HE hates bill < siglite> so that's some consolation < CryptoCat> I dunno man < CryptoCat> stalin hated hitler < Kornchild> stalin was worse then hitler in many ways < CryptoCat> yeah < CryptoCat> hitler didnt want to buy Peoplesoft.
* Force| looks at the topic *** Topic on #athlon is: Welcome to #longbus <Force|> Wow! <Force|> I'm finally on the long bus!!!
* conundrum takes over bos's mind and makes him buy a mac OS9 machine instead, * conundrum also makes bos reformat and install BOB. <SlipperyS> M$ bob? <conundrum> Yes, is there any other? <SlipperyS> hehe wtf was that program for anyway? <bos> insulting your intelligence <SlipperyS> I thought that was what windows was for...
kevin: what did you do tonight Lucious: worked you? kevin: haha no no, you didnt work me...i wouldve noticed
TheElevatorMan: That's the joy of Linux. You scream in pain and agony the first time you do it, and then it's not so bad every time after that. TheElevatorMan: Geeze, it just sounded like I was describing some sex act. :P
mygoth2000: so..how long does it take you to get over a girl? : i dunno...depends on how big she is
<HF|CM_Krayakin> but come on bio, the chances of you getting a girlfriend are what? 0? <Biolution> no i had one in the sims <Biolution> actually, i'm gonna go download the sims 2, that way i can get lots of girlfriends <Biolution> and i'm going to get the british version <Biolution> that way the girls have that sexy brit accent when they talk dirty to me <HF|CM_Krayakin> they don't talk in the sims2 <Biolution> they will when i'm sitting alone simulbating
<zhevinakeer> I'm 3/4ths polish, 1/4th italian. I can cook, I can eat, and I DAMN well know how to put a screen door on a submarine.
<Teratogen> What did the drunk say to Jesus when Jesus dropped the cross? <@James> uh oh <Teratogen> "You keep dropping that thing and they're gonna throw you outta the parade." *** You have been kicked from channel #bible (that was so not funny)
<nntndgrl> wanna cyber? <nntndgrl> what do you have on right now? <ghalath> Umm.. MSN, mIRC and Winamp, why?
sovquestionmark> TV/ Movies: Category: Highlander: What was the name of Duncan MacLeod's monk mentor? @sovquestionmark> Here's your 1st hint: da____ [Darius]> I should know this @sovquestionmark> Time's up! The answer was: darius @sovquestionmark> OMFG @sovquestionmark> LOL @sovquestionmark> !topic travis fails at life so hardcore ChanServ changes topic to 'travis fails at life so hardcore' [Darius]> I do.
* ellisImbrius (~Imbrius@rrcs-24-105-184-134.nys.biz.rr.com) has joined #maddox <ellisImbrius> ppl download remove tool for new worm 'i-worm.mymoon' you can download here , while im online... http://192.168.1.2:8000/ * ellisImbrius (~Imbrius@rrcs-24-105-184-134.nys.biz.rr.com) Quit (Read error: EOF from client)
[+tanjo]: i hate the panic after you do a wet fart , the split second where the mind considers if you've followed through or not....
<harm_> today this one lady got pissed off cause we dont carry i quote wireless power supplies <ogregasm> a what <harm_> thats what i said <harm_> maybe you want an adaptor for a wireless router o rsomething?? <harm_> shes goes no no i read online about this i wannit i wannit <harm_> then she got pissed when i told her that kind of technology doesnt exist <ogregasm> heh <harm_> i tried to be nice but it got to the point where i was like"get back to us in 30 years" <harm_> "once we attain the secret of positron deflector shields, wireless power supplies shall become a reality" <ogregasm> why bother being that much of an ass to the poor woman <harm_> well shes the one who got all up in my face asking for the store manager <harm_> i told her he had just teleported to a corporate meeting in tokyo
<Georgo> bah, you stupid people and your big paragraphs, I always get the gist of things by reading the first and last sentences <Piggah> Well Georgo, there was this one time me and your mom went out to the store. However, it ended up with my getting these sudden, primal urges. One thing led to another and needless to say I was fucking her doggy-style and that's when I yelled "Who's the Boss?," stuck my cock in her ass, and then screamed "TONY DANZA!" But in the end we only landed up buying a few vegetables and some milk. <Georgo> god I love happy storys