<zerovampire> so I was reading bash.org, and there was this great quote, "A guy at work yesterday saw my stickers on my car, and asked me if Semper Fi was a form of martial arts." <ryo-ohki> heheh, what is it, an band or something? <zerovampire> O.o
<chris> ontario, canada is one of the only places in the world where you can marry a fag but you can't smoke one
<timmo> 20% of americans believe the sun revolves around the earth, 17% of the people who know that the earth revolves around the sun, believe it does so every 24hours <timmo> jesus <timmo> people are fucking morons <wind`> wait what <wind`> doesn't the earth revolve around the sun in 24 hours? <timmo> well i guess we found one of the 17%
Lucius: so im stuck hangin out with this emo kid Lucius: he goes up to this hot girl and says "hey baby, what are you doing lateR?" Lucius: she turns to him and goes "boy, i already have a pussy, i dont need another one" and walks away Lucius: i couldnt stop laughing Lucius: then he gets this sad look and tells me to shut up Lucius: i calmly pull out my sharpie and draw a tear on his cheek Lucius: he literally shrieks and runs away
Promisemememphis: there was a girl in one of my bio teachers classes and they had to put a cotton swab in their mouth and look at the slide Promisemememphis: he went to look at hers because she saw something moving and told her it was a sperm Promisemememphis: which meant that she'd just given some guy head in lunch like fifteen minutes before hand Promisemememphis: he wouldn't let her leave the class either
NTG85002: Hahaha NTG85002: Today I was at my psych 101 lecture, of about 300 people, and we were talking about Freud's psychosexual stages, and how he thought homosexuality was credited to an lack of influence from the same sex parent. NTG85002: So in the middle of class, my friend says "I don't believe that. If not having one of your parents around led to homosexuality, there would be a lot more black homosexuals." NTG85002: The teacher was speechless.
donchongo: i wonder what possesed some one to invent play-doh and silly putty Wildfire: poop dries out to fast donchongo: that really put a screeching halt to my thought process
<myra> another accident? <myra> what this time <BWLaptop> 3rd grader running to catch the bus got hit by it <BWLaptop> died at the scene <karrde> guess he caught it...
<El_Angsto> interesting, I just read on slashdot about the linux worm <zeekmor> it shouldnt effect us <zeekmor> we are in a city, not in the wild
JunInohara: ew you guys ARE still here JunInohara: bummer JunInohara: <3 RockMecha: there's an easy fix to that Whorange2: we don't love you either. RockMecha: you see that great big button with an X on it? RockMecha: if you click on that, we magically go away Whorange2: whee JunInohara: :P RockMecha: and we go on to lead happy, cow-free lives Whorange2: I love you more than ice cream for that Serge. RockMecha: XD Whorange2: and I love ice cream like those fat people who have to ride on flatbed trucks love ice cream. that's alot. Whorange2: right Jamie? JunInohara: uhm JunInohara: yes?
<rob-bot> k, i got attacked by this hobo today on the side of the road, with his hat full of change and everything <(``)> what you do? <rob-bot> i asked him if he had change for a 5
< pin> so on saturday i was at a bar < pin> telling a friend about how i played world of warcraft that day < pin> and this girl was like.. are you talking about world of warcraft? < pin> then i found out she played alliance and stopped talking to her < pin> dumb cunt
TsK/Scel: i think im gonna download some porn TsK/Scel: something ive never seen before tho TsK/Scel: something...... different Shane/Mehul: lol Shane/Mehul: porn with women? TsK/Scel: fuck you
<DerMetzgermeister> A guy at work yesterday saw my stickers on my car, and asked me if Semper Fi was a form of martial arts.
<Sceleratus_Angelus> definition of canada = beer, hockey, bum, aboot <n3o> definition of USA: mcdonalds, war
<hahacornut> I need visual aids for my presentation tomorrow <Narcissus> go to visual africa
<OG4Life> hey u faggity bunch of foreign fucks <[Abomination]> Dalnet can't hear you unless you connect to them dude.
<ChernoBog> i will ring for no money, and i know how to speak English, Macedonian, Serbian, Croatian, Bosnian and Bulgarian... understand some of russian too.... <Dashiva> and you haven't ethnically cleansed yourself yet?
<Dogan> man, my english class this year is so sweet <Dogan> there was this quick write on the civil rights movement yesterday <Dogan> couldn't think of anything else, so i just ended with "In conclusion, all your base are belong to us." <Dogan> she just wrote "Rephrase?", and gave me 30/30
* Porter is now known as PorterWITHGIRLFRIENDWHOISHOT <Strayed> he shot his girlfriend?
<Spacetrash> there's this sign at the bottom of the stairway that is bothering me <Spacetrash> it says "floors are slippery when wet" <Spacetrash> well no shit <Spacetrash> you put the fucking sign up when the floors are wet to alert people they are wet and therefore slippery, putting up that sign is like getting rid of the fire alarms and putting up signs that say FIRE IS HOT
<Jimmothi> damint <Jimmothi> i drew on some plastic <Jimmothi> then it rubbed off on my hand <Jimmothi> i never noticed and slept on it and now its all up my face and ear <Jimmothi> i look like a smurf gave me a facial
<testman> i asked my girlfriend to come home to watch the last samurai <testman> and she answered "i'd like to, but i didn't see the first ones"
<GeoTube> Seriously, my family is retarded, they have to write D, E or F on the cd/dvd reader/writers so they know which one is which when they put a disk in!
Sanjuro Makabe: btw remember what you made up about something like the 7 layer protocol of the network or something? Sanjuro Makabe: application, presentation, session, transport, network, datalink, physical Sanjuro Makabe: i remember you made up something nasty to remember those by...i forgot what it was Saem: a pussy so tight no dick penetrates
<skreid> so i was trick or treating right <GODLY> arent u a little old for that? <skreid> fuck no <skreid> anyway <skreid> so i went as a present this year, just a bigass bow and some curled ribbons, and i go up to this door <skreid> and a 75 year old woman and her husband open the door, and the woman goes "what are you?" <skreid> i go "a present", and she gives me candy. just as i start to walk away, she goes <skreid> "who would want that??" <skreid> and some little kid behind me just goes "OHHHH! BURN!" <GODLY> loser.
<tinks> besides, the more i have in savings, the more i can put into my 401k every month <tinks> yeayyyyy 401k <brat> Doesn't 401k come out of your paycheck, not savings? <grue> heh, they should havae called the savings accounts at Enron the 404k <grue> savings not found
[ Tom^ ] i remember my mate had a 33k modem, and we were like you should upgrade to 56k, then his dad was like, there is no point cus most webpages wont load any faster than around 33k anyway [ Tom^ ] that was when i thought the internet was some guy sitting in a room and when you type in a web page he got that then sent the page to ur pc [ Tom^ ] replace man with server and i had the idea :P [ L-uNiT ] that's an awesome system tom [ L-uNiT ] if he doesn't feel well then he'll just go away [ L-uNiT ] and toilet brakes mean that we'll all get 404's [ L-uNiT ] it'd be more effecient than microsoft servers
<sithmaster> hmm i got a cut on my finger, not sure where it came from <DarkBlueTornado> i got multiple cuts down my arm...not sure where those came from either <RawBeef> Maybe you've been sleep emoing
<seaster> this kid once said to me he was 10% gay and that he thought it was normal. <seaster> i said to him "it would suck if that 10% was your cock"
<chiby> base? is that another word for acid? <spriggan> wtf, when's your chemistry exam? <chiby> tomorrow <spriggan> hahahahaha, oh man, you're screwed
<Ryz0r> are your parents gona be at your party? <z3phyr> my mum is <Ryz0r> is she cool? <z3phyr> yeah she is she lets me pretty much do what i want when i want <z3phyr> all my mates think she is cool which is worrying <Ryz0r> you think you've got it bad <Ryz0r> all my mates want to sleep with my mum <z3phyr> well she is pretty fit <Rey> Yeah, I'd hit it. <Lord_Cocktax> me too! <Ryz0r> AAGH!!
<Chrisco> stifffyyy where have you been? <Stifler> i said the meanest thing to my girlfriend last night >=-) <Stifler> you know.. cause i've been spending soo much time with her, neglectin the gaming and all.. <Stifler> well i said "you know i spend soo much time with you, i wish you were deaf, so i could get like community service for hanging out with you, i'd have a bajillion hours!" <Chrisco> oh.. no wonder your back online again.
<wenko> today in java the prof asked the class for a simple iterator where we can use some math <wenko> so this one guy pipes up and says "Make it an address book, and It will calcuate the percentage of girls that slept with you" <wenko> the prof looks up and says "I can't do that", meaning its not appropriate <wenko> so the guy yells back "why not?" <wenko> and the first thing that came to mind i said "You get an error when you divide by zero"
<Ecob16> so this hobo asks me for spare change right <Ecob16> and i ignore her cause im chatting with a mate <Ecob16> so shes like "manners dont cost anything" <Ecob16> so i turn to her and say "yeah, but if they did I could afford them" :D <Ecob16> you shud have seen her expression...
<Rhodz> So anyway, if I get that threesome with my girl and one of her hot friends, I'll be a happy man <Psy> Well of course you'd have to tape it <Rhodz> I won't be taping it. What I want to do is get a director in to tape it. 3 cameras, lighting, the works. <Psy> Awesome. I did photography last year, I could totally do that <Rhodz> Er...do you really want to see my wang? <Psy> Well, we could just blur it out... <Rhodz> Sweet! Then it'll be just like Japanese porn! <Rhodz> ... <Rhodz> Except I won't be shitting on her.
<seelet> the frat house down the road doesnt even have wep on <seelet> wtf <HaLLuCiN0> maybe they are to busy drinking beer, smoking weed, and fucking chicks <seelet> :(
nurv3947: So, I was talking to one of my friends, and she's kinda fat, right? nurv3947: And this woman walks up to us, looks at my friend and asks "Are you pregnant?" nurv3947: And she says "Yes, I got gang raped by twelve donuts." nurv3947: Honestly, I almost died. nurv3947: I just turned and walked away. nurv3947: I couldn't even walk straight.
SteveDixon23: how hard do you think it would be to build a working EMP bomb? xanxion: the hard part would be making a video to prove it works. SteveDixon23: ... SteveDixon23: this is true.
robuofw: my roommate has been gone since friday night robuofw: and I have no idea where he is cyateon: do you think he's alive robuofw: I hope so robuofw: rent is due tomorrow
<Kiell> so it was my mate's funeral the other day <Kiell> the parents asked his girlfriend to choose a song that he liked. <Kiell> and between them they picked out "Bombtrack" by Rage Against The Machine. <Kiell> So, just before the coffin disappeared to be cremated, Zach de la Rocha is screaming "burn, burn, yes you're gonna burn". <Kiell> Funniest. Funeral. Ever.
<nerdBeer> so, I just dropped a book _into the toilet_ <ct> home or work? <popsQ> heh, does it matter? <nerdBeer> poop's poop, man. <banquo> Ok,..WHY were you reading a book over a poop filled toilet? And what!? "Poop spotters guide"? "Pooping for dummies"? "The illustrated guide to What the Hell did I Eat"? "Flushing and putting the seat down (A husbands compendium)"? <banquo> If you have to stand and read it it has to be porn while your,.........Oh I see
<che> there's a programmer's union? <Wintermute> yes <Wintermute> Local 100100101110101010010
<@roddie> LCDs don't show porn properly because they don't have the concept of black or black levels <@ecoli> i don't watch interracial porn anyway
<EventHorizon> is it just me or does our prof wear sweaters alot? <swtaarrs> that's a sweatshirt <EventHorizon> yeah <EventHorizon> i think sweatshirt extends sweater though <EventHorizon> so its still an instance <DroolingSheep> no it doesn't sweaters suck <swtaarrs> you're an instance of stupid <EventHorizon> ur an instance of ur mom <ChixLoveUnix> I implemented your mom last night. <EventHorizon> i extended ur mom so bad she threw an exception <EventHorizon> or something <swtaarrs> if your mom were a collection class, her insert method would be public
<nepredi> i was watching doom in the cinema today <nepredi> there was a very exciting scene where it was matter of life or death <nepredi> and some guy behind me screams "SAVE IT, IDIOT!"
<DoomDemon> I have good news and bad news. <DoomDemon> The good news is that I had some really great sex with my wife last night. <DoomDemon> And she even screamed "Oh John!" during orgasm. <PhylumDeviant> isnt ur name dave? <DoomDemon> Yeah, that's the bad news...
<Shakeman> holy christ, there is a hurricane Beta too? <Linkin> yeah, its in development..
Aria: So you heard about the software failure on the space shuttle that caused the windshield to crack? Aria: The programmers explained it that with so many holes, at that altitude, windows sucks bad. Vruba: Now /that's/ a BSOD. Bodger: Talk about breathtaking incompetence.