<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z <JonTG> wait, shit
John423: I love her with all my <3. Acsabh: You love her with all your less than 3? Inches?
JakerzInc> so here i am JakerzInc> logging into irc JakerzInc> and the first thing I see is "hard throbbing cock" Anfael> that's normal, that's how you know it works
PinkBabe571: i have to beat guys off with a stick PinkBabe571: =/ ALLSTAR4212: just beat them off with your hands
· Primate · how do you do actions? · Primate · ?? ¤ @DjinnWraith slaps Primate around with a /me action · Primate · how'd you do that?
<Dooley>omg </3 <Mstandot>What does that smiley represent? <mictoboy>a vasectomy
<sigafoo> i realized i loved my girlfriend when i said to her <sigafoo> <3 <sigafoo> and she said "<3.14159265" back...
atria ventric: so my life is complete Crikers042: whys that? atria ventric: because today atria ventric: i heard two gay guys shopping for a vaccuum atria ventric: 'but i bet this one sucks better' atria ventric: 'but this one will go for longer' atria ventric: 'go longer? what for? you get dirty you take it out you turn it on and you're done' atria ventric: 'i mean its fun while it lasts sure but its nothing serious'
<ChaoSynergy> BODY MASSAAGE! <ChaoSynergy> Where'd that extra 'a' come from <narunet> My ass <axiel> you mean your ss
<tomalak> you still appear to be under 12 months of age <tomalak> btw putting your age in your nick is very immature <@argv[0]> yes tom, im 0 years old <tomalak> AND A DAY
Baumann: you're like... british and stuff, right Kevin Smith: like....and stuff, yes Baumann: so you know soccer? Baumann: I know, that's like saying "You're american, right? ...so you're fat." Kevin Smith: football Kevin Smith: vaguely Baumann: Pay attention to the world cup any? Kevin Smith: there's a world cup? Baumann: you don't think the world just floats in space, do you? Kevin Smith: pretty much Baumann: Everyone knows that it sits in a cup Baumann: That's why no one lives in antartica Baumann: ...or something Kevin Smith: right Baumann: Well, I'm just pissed that Zidane got the golden ball Kevin Smith: ok, I have no idea what the golden ball is Kevin Smith: but it sounds impractical Baumann: yeah, they don't even actually use it Baumann: man... now I want to visit antarctica Kevin Smith: \o/
<JohnMaron7> JaySea We believe that the Apostles at the Last Supper were not drinking wine, for Jesus said to them "This is My BLOOD". <JaySea> JohnMaron7: "Oh no! There's blood in my alcohol system!"
( Tranks ) when i try to go on my webcam it says 'Sorry you have no video capture hardware' << whats that o.0 /q ( Voltage ) I thought the police told you to stop using webcam after you got caught flashing to 13 year old bisexual boys ( Tranks ) I havnt bin caught ( Voltage ) so you do flash to 13 year old boys Tranks has left #Cyber ( Fr0r3 ) Voltage you prick i didnt get his msn
<Awaken> this is pissing me off
<Awaken> i have some windows updates that just HAVE to restart
my fucking computer
<{RANT}> :(
* MaxPower (M4dMaX@ool-182f05ac.dyn.optonline.net) Quit
(hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net)
* {Bitch} (~yeah@cpe-069-134-207-100.nc.res.rr.com) Quit
(hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net)
* aliensoup (~aliensoup@heimdal.complx.net) Quit (hub.efnet.us
ircd.he.net)
* Jing|es (Jingles@cpe-24-167-108-167.satx.res.rr.com) Quit
(hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net)
* Ladywork
(victoria.r@host86-140-223-138.range86-140.btcentralplus.com)
Quit (hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net)
* TostigAFK (~Tostig@ip68-8-64-254.sd.sd.cox.net) Quit
(hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net)
<Mr_Power> his computer is the EFnet server?
<mocker> I just need to do more than play video games on my day off <Homeworld> but playing games is awesome <mocker> I wanna play RL sometime <Homeworld> rl is boring <Astorite> RL doesn't have enough upgrades. <mocker> RL has tons of upgrades, they are just much much harder to get <mocker> and not as fun <Astorite> Well, yeah, I guess it's just a lot harder to gain XP and GP. <mocker> I need to find myself a 'sploit <Astorite> They've got some, but the Mods are hella anal about 'em. <Astorite> They're all like, "Crack isn't a legal income producer." or "You have to go to College to say you know how to do that skillset." <mocker> they are just power-trippin mods jeez
<WeirdBeard> well my dad is icelandic, my mother is cuban <WeirdBeard> i'm an icecube
<Pbob> you know what would be awesome <Pbob> Get a bunch of jews, herd them into a shower <Pbob> And then gas them <Pbob> With that funny voice stuff <Pbob> HAHA <Pbob> They would be like I'M GONNA DIE sounding like crazy cartoon charatcers
<Neal[CoNWork]> Not everyone's goal in life is to malign you <DarkPaladin> Your's seems to be <Neal[CoNWork]> Yeah, but I said "Not everyone's" <Neal[CoNWork]> That doesn't mean nobody
<Gabe> lol i didnt like the diary of anne frank <FraudulentTommah> if anne frank was alive today would she make a livejournal <Super_Moogle> The Livejournal of Anne Frank <Super_Moogle> "Mood: Happy :))"
whatshisname: Why does the media insist on calling intelligent design an 'alternative' to the theory of evolution? That's like saying pancakes are a good alternative to an internal combustion engine. What units do you use for measuring Godliness? mediaho: Cleanliness? whatshisname: I was thinking more along the lines of Jehovahwatts: "It took 47.3 Jehovahwatts to turn that water into wine" MrNeutron: "Wha. . . what the hell is a Jehovahwatt" Smallberries: About 103 Jews. pwhp_67: Are Jehovawatts metric? jimmyhaha: Commie.
<veryinky> Personally I'd rather be adopted. Since it would mean that I was picked instead of randomly produced.
(+[CSI]ACE-340) anybody want to buy my motorcycle and then loan me $3500 (@Ic3x^) what kind of motorcycle (+[CSI]ACE-340) gsx-r1100 (@Ic3x^) erm, not my style... I don't like speed bikes (+[CSI]ACE-340) it can go slow too
<Silly-Wurk> how ironic. Shell Oil claims that using foodcrops to make biofuels would be 'morally inappropriate' as long as there are people starving in the world. <Taffer> an oil company has morals now? <Taffer> will they be shipping these foodcrops to starving people in empty oil barrels/tankers? <WyldWork> Absolutely, along with barrels of unrefined love and good will
<Argentius> I fell asleep again in class today... <Darkersun> that sucks man, what did the teacher do? <Argentius> I am the teacher >.<
phoenix8634: are you legally downloading music yet or no? TwiztidTown: ROFL TwiztidTown: what is that? phoenix8634: k ill take that as a no TwiztidTown: you can LEGALLY DOWNLOAD MUSIC? TwiztidTown: LOL AND ALL THIS TIME I WAS DOING IT FOR FREE
(@damned) one time, my mom asked me if she copied something, and then unplugged the mouse and plugged it into another computer she could paste it
<roric23> i just pulled an elastic thread out of my sock and now I'm flossing with it :) <Pace|Around> yay for Sock Floss <rigelIsGood> Dude, that is kinda gross. <roric23> well, yeah. it does sort of have that sock-like flavor to it <roric23> not that I taste socks for a living or anything <Pace|Around> Well, if you ever want to, you now have something to put on your resume
WindMage1: my cat already had kittens a month ago WindMage1: we took her in to get fixed, and they're like "We can't... she's pregnant" WindMage1: and I said "That bitch said she was on the pill!" WindMage1: and then there was very awkward silence in the vet's office
<syc> buddy of mine licked a motherboard once while the machine was running <syc> no problems <Skiz> I disagree <Skiz> your friend has problems
<Caius> in the last year I've broken the screen on: SE S700i, SE P910i, iPod 40GB, Pentax S6, Palm Zire 72 (and slightly before the last year, Palm M100) <Libertus> Caius: Have you considered pen and paper?
<@Nefro> so Pirates Of The Caribbean 2 sucked? <malakian> yeah <malakian> it sucks hard <malakian> then swallows, sadly <malakian> so you dont even see the climax.
<jab> I just installed some windows updates <jab> and then Windows Update told me I had some security vulnerabilities in my windows software <jab> I click OK and the list of vulnerabilities comes up and one of them says "Internet Explorer is not your default browser."
kixor: well, how are you going to get around the north american ip ban? Kovia: duh, last i checked i live in texas Kovia: and texas is south america Kovia: way to go, idiot
<ilius> I'm a canadian <ilius> theyre sending me on a peacekeeping mission somewhere undisclosed as of yet <sanzo> i think you mean "im going to try and stop a genocide in africa without weapons"
<demonotaku_> hate when you fall asleep and your cat jumps on your keyboard <Facemaker> Yeah, they always talk about you on irc behind your back
* Digi disconnects <Eliza> you're still here * Digi has disconnected <Eliza> you're still here * Digi has disconnected <Eliza> you're still here * Digi has disconnected <Digi> I HAVE DISCONNECTED DAMMIT D:
(sean__) i want to call you with my cell phone whats your # (@Pain`) (911)-323-4155 (sean__) dude you made me call the cops what the fuck
<Ghaleon> I'm a programmer for a company that ports english made games to the japanese market <PcChip> Make one say "ALL YOUR BASE" in japanese to get back at them.
KrazyKanuk: the canadian customs people rule KrazyKanuk: i get to the border right, coming from the us KrazyKanuk: and the guard asks me if i have any weapons in the car KrazyKanuk: im like, im CANADIAN, what do u think? KrazyKanuk: he let me through without another word
<@kazin> why does php have 'echo' and 'print'? Do they do different things? <Bluefoxicy> kazin: echo prints in a big empty room.
<Frostfyre> Alright. 5 reasons why I'm convinced that my penis runs Linux. <Frostfyre> 1. I can create child processes <Frostfyre> 2. I can handle multiple users on any platform at once. <Frostfyre> 3. I'm VERY user friendly. <Frostfyre> 4. I have incredible uptime. <Frostfyre> and 5. When my system load gets too heavy, I end up dumping my core and the system shuts down.
(Patrick82): i have multiple personalities (tkam): the one that tells you to kill yourself obviously isn't getting its fair share of time
<Pedlya> So I got this really big usb drive, and me and my dad are trying to put shit on it. *Simpe has entered #cancelled <Pedlya> my dad said its too big, and I guess it was <Pedlya> so my mom comes in and is trying to push it in...it still didnt go in <Pedlya> my brother uses his and it fits fine, so we just use his * Simpe has quit IRC (I dont want to know dude... )
<@kiafaldorius> is it just me or is it cool that 1337 (string) converted to hex becomes 31333337?
<bi0h4z4r_> north korea is test firing missiles right now <bi0h4z4r_> on fox news <@argv[0]> thats where i would test my missiles too <@argv[0]> fox news headquarters