hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#3454 [ + | - ] 400
<Mike> ARGH SHIT
<Mike> Ive been on the internet for ALMOST 3 HOURS
<Mike> SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHITE
<Mike> BIG HUGE PHONE BILL
<Mike> bye bye everyone
*** Mike (~M@194.165.170.168) Quit (Quit: Mike is Gone, Nobody
Noticed)
<Jumper> heh
<Jumper> "phone"
#3453 [ + | - ] 299
<Jumper> which one are you reading ?
<snot> security experts ( news.com.com )
<Jumper> ah, news.com that redirects to news.com.com for
unfatomable reasons
<Jumper> I guess they weren't commy enough
<Jumper> haw haw, get it ?? RED BASTARDS
<snot> they where news.com.com.com before the .com bust, guess
they just playing it safe
<Jumper> yeah, they must've hyped down now
#3452 [ + | - ] 312
<Blackmail> I should get a realdoll
<Blackmail> imagine me applying for a loan for that from my
bank "yeah, I need a love doll"
<tobdude> LOL
<zerox> I'm sure you could get a realdoll on ebay for half the
price
<Blackmail> ew, a used one
<Blackmail> and not made the way I want it either
<zerox> is this the one you want Blackmail
<zerox> http://www.realdoll.com/maledoll1.html
<aNuBiS-> hahah
<Blackmail> I want a she-he-doll
<tobdude>  thats so wrong
<CanOfSpam> We're long overdue for an Oprah doll
<Blackmail> UPS won't take anything that heavy
<CanOfSpam> oh
#3451 [ + | - ] 411
<smcn> tomorrow's forecast: partly cloudy with a slight chance
of terrorism
#3448 [ + | - ] 739
<timmo> you know what makes me laugh
<timmo> web cam chicks
<timmo> who try to lick their own nipples
<timmo> but fall short
#3439 [ + | - ] 71
<dodge> i tell ya
<dodge> youre sitting here one minuite, the next thing you
know youve just woken up and theres ya laptop under yer
pillow...
<Lord-Data> nope.. just you ...
#3435 [ + | - ] 1123
<Maxstah> i had a cable repair call at this arian nation nazi
guys house today
<Maxstah> funny his name was joseph black
<Maxstah> i told him thats ironic
<Maxstah> he got pissed
#3433 [ + | - ] 1100
<kolby> Allow me to be serious. Kolby serious? Yea right. Well
I'm kinda drunk and feel like getting a few things off my
chest. See I'm not even supposed to be alive right now. When
my mom was giving birth there was a big problem. I was
suffocating and I almost died.
<Wes> how were you suffocating?
<kolby> See what happend is that my dick was wrapped around my
neck 8 times.
#3432 [ + | - ] 455
<grifferz> I love vim so much
<grifferz> pets can die, women will fuck you over
<grifferz> but vim's love is pure
* ben moves away
<grifferz> vim is truly a man's best friend
* IZS calls for the men in white coats
#3423 [ + | - ] 310
<aNuBiS-> hit it before before puberty does
<aNuBiS-> thats my motto
#3421 [ + | - ] 654
<DrWoody> One time I was at the store with my friend and there
were these underage kids in the porn section they kicked out
while we were in there.
<DrWoody> so they gave us their money and we bought porn for
them
<L33TKnight> your good deed for the day?
<DrWoody> I like to give back to society.
#3416 [ + | - ] 508
<Nyphur> How long till Chaz gets on, roughly?
<Koji_Ishida> when hell freezes over...
* Koji_Ishida shortens the timespan... and sets the temp down
in helll
*** Chaz (Chaz@va-24-30-228-82.va.mediaone.net) has joined
channel #AlgolXR
<Koji_Ishida> told you lowering the temp in hell always works
* Koji_Ishida breaks off an icicle
#3415 [ + | - ] 594
<Crappy> tbe
<Crappy> er
<Crappy> the internet is cool
<Crappy> my triumphant statement somewhat dampened by my
inability to type "the"
#3413 [ + | - ] 223
[DigDug] wow, i was so dehydrated this morning...
[DigDug] i took a piss and it looked like there was an egg
yolk coming out of my penis
#3411 [ + | - ] 334
<erik> i guess that means oral sex is out of the question then
<grifferz> I dunno, with the stuff I've been coughing up
today, your spooge might actually be more pleasant
#3410 [ + | - ] 821
<ben> on sep 11th dalnet issued a statement offering
condolences and saying how they were non-politicial
<ben> and you almost believe them until you see it was issued
by Melech which is the hebrew word for king
<ben> i.e. israeli contacts, etc
<ben> NON POLITICAL MY ARSEY
<grifferz> wow, and like, the way bahamut is the name of a
dragon, maybe all these names have real meaning and dalnet
staff are really hyperdiemnsional dragon warriors from the
planet Oper!!
<grifferz> fucking scary eh
<ben> yes
<grifferz> or, they could be just nicknames.  I DO NOT KNOW
#3409 [ + | - ] 236
<grifferz> what is more funny is when dalnet EB sends a
message to their mailing lists  saying "don't talk about this
issue, kill the thread" thus ensuring the thread will never,
ever end
<grifferz> it is like a reverse godwin
#3408 [ + | - ] 33
<steve-kun> everybody's someone else's nigger
#3407 [ + | - ] 1847
<timmo> and it involves a girl named bertha
<timmo> WHO WOULD SUBJECT THEIR DAUGHTER TO THE HORRORS OF
THAT NAME
<timmo> 'this is my daughter bertha, she eats villages'
#3404 [ + | - ] 45
<|TrunX|> dem polacks are getting smart....the woman all
stopped using vibrators....
<|TrunX|> kept getting chipped teeth :þ
#3403 [ + | - ] 336
* IZS logs in and delets all potential child porn
<IZS> rm -rf /
#3402 [ + | - ] 816
<|sco|t> doesn anyone in here know a good amount of php
<Jumper> |sco|t, the #php guys do ;)
<JibberJim> |sco|t go to #php
<[ric]> and #women is full of women, go figure
<JibberJim> and #teens is full of 40 year old men.
#3400 [ + | - ] 338
<|TrunX|> don't make me bust out my pic
<|TrunX|> you will all turn gay
#3392 [ + | - ] 379
<Snag> i saw this thing...... its like a rod with two lips you
put like a special rod-lube in it..
<Snag> supposed to be like a bj.... throat included
<XDDD> i prefer women for my bjs
<boozie> haha
<XDDD> but im kinda weird
<XDDD> i guess the pipe would be better, no body to get rid of
afterwards
#3391 [ + | - ] 765
<AaronStJ> I'd buy it.  And by buy, I mean warez
#3389 [ + | - ] 489
<Ad0> anyone got monsters inc?
<Ad0> my gf wants to see it
<Idler> Ad0: No, but I got a monster in my pants
<Idler> and I bet your girlfriend wants to see that
#3388 [ + | - ] 622
<Ponder> He found a better job, got a new gf.
<Ponder> All because he stopped smoking
<tragic> i need to start smoking, so then i can quit and all
sorta good shit will happen to me
#3385 [ + | - ] 151
<crums|zzz> i love my bed
<crums|zzz> still need to christen it...grrr
#3377 [ + | - ] 342
[20:21] <Wabajape> how many gbas did you buy?
[20:21] <KidHype> 2
[20:22] <KidHype> his and hers
[20:22] <Wabajape> none for the kids?
[20:22] <KidHype> we are the kids
#3376 [ + | - ] 133
<Kraz> I am bored with the internet
<Kraz> believe it or not
<Kraz> there are no more "killer apps"
<Kraz> it's all a big let down
<Kraz> mostly coz it's not 3d
#3375 [ + | - ] 214
<Maxisout> Apoc has so much brail on his face it would confuse
a blind person
#3373 [ + | - ] 616
<Wes> While most dudes go day-to-day waiting for sex to
happen, the sex offenders go out and MAKE it happen.
#3371 [ + | - ] 460
<orion> A FUCKING GAY CLUB
<orion>  HOMOS WILL TOUCH MY FUCKING FLYER
<orion> this is a NIGHTMARE
<orion> where's my time-release cyanide capsule of death
<Guilty> Now orion, you arent gay from homo's touching a flyer
you made
<Guilty> Unless said flyer is a picture of your dick
<Guilty> Which knowing you, it might be
#3369 [ + | - ] 437
<C00k0> I used to think ircops were cybercops that would run
around like leet hackers in movies and storm your house if you
did something bad
<hex86> and were you sad when you found out they actually do
very little?
<C00k0> I was quite happy ^_^
#3363 [ + | - ] 182
<Nettik> I had some Huge ass guy name Ray try to squeeze the
shit out of me
<Nettik> the guy is REAL strong and pretty agile for being big
<Nettik> he grabbe a hold of me and started squeezing, he
didnt like it when I kicked his leg out from underneath him
too much, but he squeezed harder.  It all depends on how far I
was willing to go
<spazzer> <Nettik> and soon i had a nice loaf the size of a
breadbox in my drawers
#3362 [ + | - ] 461
<Dllem> "another expressed his desire to try "onal sex." We're
not sure what that is, but it sounds kinky."
#3360 [ + | - ] 439
<kolby> i dont think the number of times ive jacked off to
britney spears can be calculated
<kolby> it never gets old
<kolby> i think that's what love is
#3358 [ + | - ] 167
<tril0gy> i think with my gov't tax return i'm gunna buy a
redmav
<spicrx7> you're better off getting a shirt that says "I suck
cock."
<ChronosGW> Then you and DMC can be mav-buddies
<spicrx7> same effect as having a red mav
<spicrx7> except the tshirt would be worth more
#3356 [ + | - ] 304
<SaraAB> ok you will probably think im stupid but i was on the
phone with my friend and i was freaking out because the game
ffx talks!!!!
<mightyflo> what was the point of having voice acting in ffx
if the main character is just gonna say "..." all the time
anyway?
#3354 [ + | - ] 43
<kolby> davek, stop trying to make everyone else become black
#3353 [ + | - ] 243
<mightyflo> why is the k in cmyk a k?
<nitrifik_> cause it's kool like dat.
<mightyflo> cyan, magenta, and yellow kool-aid
<mightyflo> that would go over pretty well with the geek crowd
<mightyflo> they should market a new flavor that way
<nitrifik_> CMYKOOL
<nitrifik_> I'd buy it.
#3352 [ + | - ] 43
<drgonzo> i'd rather cut off my own penis than run linux
<drgonzo> running linux screams I fuck ugly chicks
#3351 [ + | - ] 644
<Wes> Anything good coming on TV tonight?
<kolby> maybe nWo will return
<Wes> Anything good that doesn't involve dudes in their
underwear slap-fighting so they can get a new belt to wear to
the Gay Pride Parade?
#3348 [ + | - ] 371
<sector_> it was a boring uneventful game IMHO and my fucking
HO is top-notch
#3345 [ + | - ] 220
<thc\ip> just cus i have like a hjalf oz of weed in my
keyboard...
<thc\ip> dont mean i cant spell
#3342 [ + | - ] 419
<smcn> To buy a PS2, or not to buy a PS2: that is the
question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the moral
decay of selling my soul to Sony, or to never play Final
Fantasy X?
#3341 [ + | - ] 499
<MicroChip> ok, so who's gonna win the superbowl?
<Chucker-away> the Yankees
<bishop> the sox
<MicroChip> you guys are so female
#3340 [ + | - ] 209
(koch): !need some help
(koch): !anyone in private please
(@Lynkx): koch: what the hell are you doing
(@dc): hes an idiot
(@Lynkx): !i want a vagina
(@Lynkx): shit
(@Lynkx): don`t werk
#3338 [ + | - ] 56
*** [SNiPeR] (invisible@pD951E3E2.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined
#efnet
<[SNiPeR]> got a problem...i wanna register a chan but
chanserv doesn´t work
#3334 [ + | - ] 396
<lan_rover> i hate reruns.
<DAL9000> as do i
<lan_rover> i wish the tv stations would just say: "We're
sorry.. we have nothing new to show you.. so please go do
something productive."