<MosServ> Katto: They will keep fighting, they think that dying in battle for their God is the greatest honor. But they also think they'll go to hell if they have pork in their stomach. Solution: Pork bullets.
<EnochRoot> BREAKING NEWS: President Bush has declared a state of Boogie Madness. Preliminary operations will begin at 1100 Hours.
<LesserEvil665___> LINUX IS SO EASY TO INSTALL. IT'S LIKE TAKING A SHIT AND HAS THE SAME RESULTS!!!! HAHAHAHA I AM SO WITTY!
<GPF> Quake, Quake II, Quake III....three universes joined by one common theme....BROWN.
<RSN> Classrooms in Canada are actually used for teaching.. not just target shooting like our neighbours to the south..
<Sassy> if the GC ends up sucking, i will start calling it the LameCube and reap the benefits of my witticisms
<Predictable> "Peace, love, and Linux" makes me think of a guy with excessive facial hair in a tiedye t-shirt, shorts, and sandals saying "You can't use that distribution MAN" "You can't like, own an OS, MAN"
<JustOnePepsi> I work at the walmart picture development center just to jerk off to the pics of naked babies taking baths
<Rhombus> Rich fat cats hoarding sleep <Rhombus> cheap taiwanese sleep flooding the market
<Alien> Licking lead is like inviting a bunch of friends into your mouth but then cancer crashes the party
<Campster> "DOOM 3 WILL BE PRODUCED ON A BUDGET OF 439 DOLLARS AND A PACKET OF JUICY FRUIT"
<@JP> before i saw miss cleo's commercial, i didn't know there was a "you are attracted to a large-breasted female co-worker" card in the tarot deck.
<Real> I found a hooker with a heart of gold. I TORE IT OUT AND MELTED IT DOWN FOR DRUG MONEY!
<Euri> When I was 20 (still worked as a waiter), I went out to eat with a friend at a nice-ish restaurant. There was a guy with his girlfriend/mistress/cheap hooker in front of me yelling at the hostess because they took 10 minutes to bring his food to him. So, I went up and asked him how he was doing, and why he didn't call.. and asked if his rash was clearing up.
<Spork> A man looked at me like I was a pervert today. I was checking him out at the store and he had his kids at me I noticed one of his young daughters had her zipper down and you could see the print on her panties, so I pointed it out to him. He looked at me weird for a second then zipped her up. <Spork> Maybe it's because he thought I also noticed that he was half-erect in his pants. <Spork> Which he was.
<MrSauce> LIZ HURLEY KNOCKED UP? <MrSauce> NOOOOOOO <MrSauce> fuck <MrSauce> she was so hot <EvilRobot> Hey, in 18 years and 9 months, you'll be able to hump her daughter. <MrSauce> hrm <MrSauce> I'd be 35 <MrSauce> very possible <EvilRobot> See, always look for the silver lining! <MrSauce> oh well. I guess it's time for a farewell fap
<Petr> I was at work and I drove by a group of Amish people in an electric cart full of computer equipment. I've never been given such an evil eye by so many people at once before.
<L33t_Hax0r> i rev at people at a red light in the galant if im pretty sure thier car is slow
<DrFurious> if midgets had regular size penises they could take pictures of themselves in a minature house and decieve people into thinking they are normal sized with a huge penis
<wonderllamah> ill bet a banana would kick an apples ass in a fight beacause it could unpeel itself to have two mighty banana parts fighting <wonderllamah> the peel to bind it and the soft core to smash it into submission.
<Lincoln`s_Wax> "The vacuum of space can suck like a mofo!" "Captain, get your penis out of the window!
<Bobby> "YOU ARE ONLY CONSIDERED A LOYAL TALIBAN MEMBER IF YOUR BEARD IS AT LEAST ONE THIRD THE LENGTH OF AN X-BOX CONTROLLER."
<taz> 0x0020 5018 2238 83c7 0000 4745 5420 6874 7470 P."8....GET.http <taz> 0x0030 3a2f 2f77 7777 2e69 6b65 612e 636f 2e75 ://www.ikea.co.u <taz> 0x0040 6b2f 7072 6f64 7563 745f 7072 6573 656e k/product_presen <taz> 0x0050 7461 ta <taz> muha * taz snooping mothers network traffic
<JDigital> I have ops in #pyoko... I put it on my resume along with my Slashdot karma ;)
<DrWoody> <intra> I want to propose to my wife with a giant foam #1 finger instead of a ring. <RastaSaf> of course the correct answer to that quote would be: how long did it take the doctors to remove it from you?
<teu> I have to admit, when I first suggested anal sex to my girlfriend, she looked at me like I was crazy. I offered to double-wrap, use plenty of AstroGlide, but she was still totally freaked over the idea of it. Then she made a deal with me: If I'd bend over for her strap-on, she'd bend over for me. We take turns taking it up the poop chute, and now we finally feel like our relationship is fully equal
<Semi> What are you talking about? <Rico> Fuck if I know. Your mother, probably.
<Khrosscpp> If by "whup" you mean "penetrate until colon rupture", I'm way ahead of you.
<Khross> I'M GOING TO REPLACE YOUR LOWFAT MILK WITH SLIGHTLY HIGHER FAT MILK AND EXPOSE YOU TO THE RISK OF FUTURE HEART DISEASE.
<Sharkey> I've been told I should be a phone sex operator. <Sharkey> Which gender hasn't been specified. <Xerox> I've been told I should be a phone sex caller. <Sharkey> Keep reaching for that rainbow. <Kashan> he's waiting for your call
<Lord-Data> spanish girls like come with a tan by default <Lord-Data> its like they come factory fitted with a fully body kit :)
*jwzrd-* kicks Butters in the nuts *Butters* watches as jwzrd- breaks his foot on his morning wood
<Booyah> what's 18 inches long and makes women scream? <Gen|us> a black mans cock <ismell> you toenails ? <Booyah> crib death
*** @pHaT|B33R is now known as @pHaT|ZzZz <@JumperXL> later <@JumperXL> nite drunkard <@ismell> l8 <@JumperXL> thats irc dedication. smashed off his gord but still changes his nick to ZzZz before he passes out.
<Nice_Guy> i love u <kcb0ddah> i love you too <kcb0ddah> what is your credit card number?
<MrFreeze> AND I PUT 3 OZ OF WEED IN 2 COOKIES <MrFreeze> AND THEY WERE LIKE 1" ACROSS <MrFreeze> MMM THEY WERE YUM! <noj> and 2 feet high!
<nitrifik_> damn, I have to leave in 10. I haven't even eaten. :| <mightyflo> irc is a cruel mistress <nitrifik_> not as cruel as real mistresses. <mightyflo> you get what you pay for
<|hOrNeT|> Does anyone have Sims Vacation please that they can hook me up with?? I've been trying to get that for my girlfriend forever and I don't get any sex0r anymore if I can't get it
<FlipTopBox> wow... spam in my hotmail inbox: "See Girls with buckets of cum all over their faces! <Slant> FlipTopBox: Dude. Give them some credit, it's hard to balance a bucket on your face.
<kung_fu_mike> I ran for office today in the IEEE elections <kung_fu_mike> and I lost to a whiney bitch that everyone knows is going to break under the pressure <FlipTopBox> if everyone know's she'll crack, why did they vote for her? <kung_fu_mike> cause there idiots who came for the free pizza and saw a moderatly cute girl <kung_fu_mike> well guess I will have to get position my way and get her in bed <mightyflo> and run everything from behind the scenes <kung_fu_mike> from behind is right
<orion> having eggo "pissed" at me was like having a rabid chihuahua yiping at you becuase you stepped on its oversized genitals <Guilty> See you just complemented eggo again
<madwoota> rice rockets are for fags and shrivel dicks <madwoota> 'hey baby, lets hump in the wrx..' 'sorry, cant even get my panties off in here'
<_8ight> i put a hit of LSD on a hamster's eyeball in high school <_8ight> it died that nite :(
<Slant> I'm adding "Masturbation" to my HotOrNot profiile. <Slant> Hopefully this will reduce the number of matches I've been getting lately. <Slant> Or it'll hook me up with a woman I can truly appreciate. ;-)
(^[QuRvE]^) its freezing in my class (xyst) qurve is freezing his ass? (bc) qurve is freaking in my ass (nexxai) QURVE HAS A FAT ASS (xyst) QURVE STOP TOUCHING MY ASS (seiki) QURVE LIKES IT IN THE ASS (^[QuRvE]^) It's nice having friends.
<DTOX> ha, did you know entry-level pharmacists make $90k/yr? <DTOX> I'm in the wrong line of work... <Xyrem> DTOX : that's about the most boring job i've seen <Xyrem> putting pills into a bottle <DTOX> and in your pocket <DTOX> and in your mouth <DTOX> and in people's drinks
<K34R> im going to buy 6 monitors and a big metal rack and position them all around me <K34R> so it will be like im captain of the starship ianprise <K34R> on a mission to hack the gibson