<cygnus> speech recognition is only for people who don't jerk off enough to build up wrist strength and then get fucked up from using their keyboards
<James> well i was walking down the street the other day <James> not paying attention to the 40 foot beast of a dong in my pants <James> when it slipped out and was laying across a 6 lane highway <James> thank god it was late out <James> i pulled it back in right as a car drove by <garorm> thank god, the car would have been totaled
<st0w> I was just a tad intoxicated, man <botnation> you got a got shot at me with the ole dildo in the mouth trick <botnation> thank god she washes that shit
<NyseriA> i just read a book i got for xmas <NyseriA> its about a sea harrier pilot shot down in bosnia <NyseriA> he is collected by a troops of SAS FACs <NyseriA> and, let me recall, when they have to pull out he says... <NyseriA> He smacks his SA80 down on the tabke <NyseriA> and shouts <Sureshot^> 'who fucking TKed me last round?'
<octalpuss> that's right... i'm on my way back to being beautiful <octalpuss> fuck brains =o) <octalpuss> oh, and drinking adequate water really kicks ass <octalpuss> the extra skin on my tummy that i thought i was going to need a tummy tuck for is now 85% gone <el_kab0ng> turn around, I think I found it
<CitizenC> <k-statik> I love the smell of scat in the morning! <-- Shouldn't that be "taste"?
<yabba> I fucked a homeless man today <xsneakerx> was he cute? <yabba> no.. but he had no shoes... and his feet were clean. <yabba> I think he may have been jesus.
<malp> this channel would be an argument for forced sterilization if there ever was a chance of any of you getting laid <RunMe> malp: you keep talking as if you're NOT ON this channel
<glasnost> i remember how DOS had no command for recursive removes <glasnost> until they added deltree <Logan> glasnost: deltree <glasnost> thanks logan.
*** Quits: Jenn|fer (If you are reading this, you wasted 3 seconds of your life.) <GE> actually, it only took me about 1.5 seconds to read <File13> if i only wasted 3 seconds of my life, i'd be happy. but according to the timer on mIRC, i have 2074 hours on this install so far.
<Monk> All I have to say... is I'm so messed that when I turned off the blacklight downstairs <Monk> that I imagined I was defeating a agent of the negaverse sent by queen beryl who was using it to sap our lifeforce
<Dobbs> I went out on a date once with a women who said that, whatever the society was, it could not function unless women were the "gatekeepers of sex"... <Dobbs> ...so I said, "Well, not if women were private property." <Dobbs> That shut her up.
<JelloMan> jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world... <JelloMan> white and white, white and white, they are precious in his sight.
<Skream> Anyone got an IDE controller I can borrow? <Skream> Mine just caught fire.
<_Hawkeye_> I don't bareback <_Hawkeye_> Fastest way to the grave <Mthbeylt> I'm not sure, but I have a feeling this isn't about the relative merits of riding horses without a saddle.
<Anal> I was doing a copy/paste <Anal> but when I did my copy it must not of taken <Anal> so when I pasted it pasted in my old command <nothing`> uh oh. which was...? <Anal> whihc was 'rm -rf /usr' !!!!
craig: I suddenly have the urge to rip someone's ear off... can you guess why? ted: uh... you've been possessed by vincent van gogh?
[during the Olympics] ted: everytime i load my yahoo it seems the US has three more medals craig: Stop reloading then!!! Canada has to catch up
ted: woman plus invisible man = the perfect porn craig: Actually, woman + visible woman is the perfect porn, but this is a close second.
<GnarlyBob> I mean how could *anyone* have been surprised when Rob Halford came out of the closet? <M0rph13> I was damnit :) <GnarlyBob> He could be a stunt double for one of the Village People
* deVoca wonders how many American here know on what date the Civil War started and ended. <Bell_of_Ygg> deV, I can't remember when-I can only remember how, why and what. <The_Freakazoid> That means bell can remember it in the ass, for love, with a phone. But not who did it or when it happened.
<GRAYwolf> Because, you KNOW suburban Massachusetts is a key terrorist target. <GRAYwolf> We've got... Uhm... A bowling alley, out in Cambridge? <The_Freakazoid> in that case, they'll drop anthrax into your tornadoes. <GRAY|Myth3> Because if I don't play Myth 3 to completion...then the terrorists...they've already won. <The_Freakazoid> Yeah, I recently downloaded DW 1-4, because if I die, I want to die having played some great NES games.
<rewben> wh00t, i made online fax server yo <rewben> it even w0rkz <m0f73> @)!!!!! <m0f73> theres no h in w00t
<stevil> man my hair is oily and nasty <stevil> fear my keyboard after i run my digits through my coiffure
<tertyl> and i've bent a spoon with the power of my mind...though when the drugs wore off..it was back to normal...
<sylwia> Everything from this point on is dependant on you being able to relax your anus
<Speck> being able to type doesn't mean you're a computer nerd. It just means you have a higher intelligence than a turnip
<lunar_sothis> and he was all amazed at "how deep" i could take it... tho i wasnt at all, he was just small
<pipedream> one time i pee'd on the mcdonalds restroom floor <pipedream> but it was a "statement"
<KaMeN> I just realized the only reason I would go to narcotics anonymous would be to get hookups for drugs
<elroyk> i like to look at pictures of me then, because I get to think "wow, I am really a lot hotter now"
<chemical-burn> I just had a bowl of clam chowder explode all over my face and chest, now I know how a girl feels when she gives head.
* Cerebus laughs evilly under appropriately spooky lighting as lightning strikes and thunder explodes outside around the High Tower of jadecore on top of Elitist Bastard Mountain in the Kingdom of Fuck.
<`Brianne> stop it...youre making me feel all warm inside... <`Brianne> oops wrong channel
* bago wants cex; <BreeBaby> hehe...you havent had it in so long you forgot how to spell it
<aXo> What an amazing weekend I had! I ate thirteen TV dinners, jacked off sixteen times and consumed one alcoholic beverage all without moving from this chair. I'm about to watch Godfather Part 3, then eat a bag of Doritos and pass out in a pool of my own saliva.
<AffenJunge> I don't want to dominate women.. I just wish they'd be more eager to dominate me