hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

<zealot_> gopher is the protocol of the future

<Xmit> And I wont be on irc ever again
<coaxial> Why not?!
<Xmit> Because it is a waste of time
<Xmit> I am declaring that I will never waste time like this
again
<coaxial> but we lub u
<Xmit> I hate you you stupid bitch

<Meridian`> Fancy is going to find me and rape my sister.
<Meridian`> And I will be like "be quiet, I'm playing tf."

<Primal[Djedi]> rent: am i in rnd1...my wife wants to know NOW
<tiepilot> I told you Primal, you should fuck the wife
inbetween rounds

<Atg[M]> Their latest album was going to be called " You are
gay" and the cover was going to be a mirror.

<sleepswithangels> quiet in here
<sleepswithangels> HII!!!
<sleepswithangels> oh fuck this

<Wickedstar> so i saw bastard mcfuckhead today
<Wickedstar> i decided it wasn't really worth getting into it
<Wickedstar> and it will make it so much better when she eats
his soul
<Wickedstar> on that note, i have to go eat dinner

<[T]ANGo> I fear that Tech Knight would not pass through a
metal detector unnoticed.
<Crashie_> and he has no hobbies :)
<Filly-O-F> apart from masturbating furiously into fistfuls of
his own feces

<vkeks05> you blow
<pies> rather in than out
<vkeks05> you'd rather stick a dick in your ass?

(nathan) weird.  my dsl works better as long as i'm constantly
pinging the server
(nathan) as soon as i stop pinging one direction or the other,
it blocks up
(nathan) like a bad bowel movement

<halos> i went to lunch with a couple co-workers and before we
left they both
+went to the bathroom
<halos> when they came back out I asked, "Who won?"

<mrempire> humm
<mrempire> -7% burning an iso here
<mathew2> now we know why you work for PC World.

<baguette> and it's a pain in the ass
<baguette> guys, that is
<waffles> You're probably doing it wrong then....

<rg> my f key got fucked once
<rg> i tried to tell people to use the shift key and all hell
broke loose

<sugar> if superman and batman got into a fight, who would
win?
<muffins> well, superman wears his undies on the
outside...batman wears his on his head
<muffins> tough call

<cheesecake> differential equations sedate me.
<kg> strange... i usually get turned on by differential
equations..

<sugar> nm, i cant reason with yall. but im right
<sprinkles> s/right/wrong/

<baguette> hey, anyone know how to find a hamster?
<is> set a cat loose
<is> the location of the hamster and the location of the cat
will converge quickly
<is> though it may be difficult to separate them again...

<baguette> dude, my grandmother's sexier than your grandmother

## baguette is away since Mon Sep 10 12:31:41 2001 -- fuck
<screampuff>  gee, that's not a bad reason to be away...

<BJKlein> so you download opera and use bsd on that?

<TF_Baxter> fucking plug and play my ass

<Minstrel> OMG!
<Minstrel> OMG!
<Minstrel> OMG!
<Minstrel> Tornado!
<Guantlet> better get to the basement mins
<Minstrel> bbl, Ima go get stoned and go outside.

<@xpro> sweet, just found 13$ in some dirty pants
<@pimp> who was wearing them?

<Gabealicious> Will you please yank all these goddamned hairs
from my nose???
<JungleMason> You need to go to Sharper Image or something and
get a fancy nose-hair cutting gizmo.
<Gabealicious> I think so.
<JungleMason> Make sure you read the warning label though:
"Not safe for most rectums."
<Gabealicious> It's a bit late for that.

<JungleMason> There's a hole in my heart that can only be
filled by you.
<Gabealicious> Have you tried epoxy?
<JungleMason> Yes, and the smell reminds me of you.
<Gabealicious> Or... maybe some of that spray foam
insulation...
<JungleMason> I LOVE that shit.
<Gabealicious> me too!
<JungleMason> Tastes GREAT on a Triscuit.
<Gabealicious> Yes ... some folks call it 'ez cheez'
<JungleMason> Burger King calls it "Ranch Dip."

[@Gentleman_Junkie] Sure your ass will hurt, but its better
than getting pregnant...

<timovgod> why is it that not 10 minutes after they put the
straight-jacket on my nuts start to itch?

<DeadsouL> poke
<T-Broken\w> *giggle*
<T-Broken|w> *giggle*
* DeadsouL boots T-Broken\w in the snatch for giggling like a
sissy
* DeadsouL boots T-Broken|w in the snatch for giggling like a
sissy

<helminthes> does anyone else ever notice when you're sex0ring
a fat chic it seems like a good idea at the time, but when
your done you feel an overwhelming emptiness?
<helminthes> no one?
<hakan> ...
<helminthes> :p

<teste_fly> wish me luck on my date tonihgt guys
* aquacavi crosses fingers
* dr_rotcod crosses his penises
<teste_fly> :0
<aquacavi> the secret is out ladies and gentlemen

<jackal-> someone guess what my cat will type when i drop it
on my keyboard
<jackal-> hello i'm a very intelligent cat, save me from my
cruel master and free me from this prison
<jackal-> omg
<jackal-> bad cat

<BathTub> isn't that your homepage JtHM?
<JtHM> no, mine is www.bathtubsdenofaggotry.com
<BathTub> ah yeah that shrine site you made
<JtHM> worshipping the gayest man alive

<Ookey> it's the pop ups that I just want to rip out of the
computer, and stomp on repeatedly
<Ookey> especially when, like the one I just had, the only way
to get rid of the 10 or so that you have + ones that are
opening every 2-3 secs is to close down all of ie, and loose
any pages etc that you have
<JtHM> are you going to that 'YES, I AM LOOKING AT GAY PORN'
page?

[invertiga] back
[Lord-Data] we missed you
[Lord-Data] wait.. no we didnt

<[Bryan]> cams: Damn I'm ugly man.. how do you hang around me?
<cams> i have no idea
<cams> it might be my blindness

<teste_fly> "um yes, i'd like to withdraw from life please"
<teste_fly> "will that be checking or savings?"
<teste_fly> "hmm, i think i just want to cancel my account"

<aversion> i have an idea
<aversion> how bout i show you my middle finger and you get
offended
<aversion> kthxbye

<dr_rotcod> you know its days like these when you say to
yourself, 'If I don't become famous, how am I going to kill
these people and get away with it?'

<helminthes> haikus are real gay
<helminthes> cause they put limitations
<helminthes> on syllables used

<StoneCold> AND AFTER OL' STONE COLD IS DONE WITH THE ROCK,
HE'S FIXIN TO WHIP HIS WIFE'S ASS!!

<dr_rotcod> i wonder if my life sucks cause i jerk off after i
pray

<helminthes> what girls have to realize is that every other
guy is wrong and i am right

<aversion> i was takin a dump today in the stalls
<aversion> and someone stuck their dick through a hole
<aversion> i didnt even get to finish

<Doc> hmm.. IE crashed
<Doc> but i suppose it was my fault... after all, i did press
teh "Back" button
<Doc> what was i thinking...
<cactoid> you madman
<Tippytoes> risktaker
<Doc> i like to live on the edge

<dr_rotcod> my poo was white again. this cannot go on

<Doc> hmm.. AOL has this great new thing where you can chat
with your friends online!
<Bru> yeah I saw the ad on TV. that would be cool - then I
wouldn't have to chat with this bunch of losers and social
misfits

<cactoid> you love the Colonel
<cactoid> I like KFC chippies
<cactoid> and zinger burgers
<cactoid> the rest tastes ok while you're eating it but it's
just fucking gross greasy fried vermin
<Bayls> Yeah, the chips are ace.
<Bayls> The actual chicken pieces are shit.
<Bayls> You may as well sculpt some lard into a shape the
looks like a drumstick, then coat it with butter. Then roll it
in lard, then melt fat onto it, then fry it in animal fat, dip
it in lard then eat it.
<Bayls> I think 10 out of the 11 secrec "herbs and spices" are
"lard".
<Bayls> Mmmm, making me hungry. Might go get a 21 piece
bucket. :)
*** Signoff: Bayls

<Dane> i had a nice shave just then
<Dane> it turned out really well for mew
<Dane> purposely left just enough growth so that i still
appear young and "hip" but still sufficiently mature and
masculine
<cactoid> in other words, gay

<Tippytoes> i have kids in the room
<Tippytoes> is it safe to look at?
<bark> i don't think they mention any words like CUNT on that
page, no
<tm> just hide it behind your anal porn