hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#8775 [ + | - ] 186
<GC> i bought new disposable razors
<GC> they have two blades each
<GC> i am astounded
<xen`> my mach 3 has 3 blades
<GC> and it costs more
<xen`> meh, it works good
<xen`> i can shave my asshair and my face and not have to go
through 5 razors
#8774 [ + | - ] 24
<Ryk> the world would be a lot better place if more chicks
were giving up the buttpussy.
#8771 [ + | - ] 336
<bishun> dont get fresh with me
<hydro-> but i'm using the all new summers eve douche
<hydro-> it says i can be fresh whenever i want
#8769 [ + | - ] 235
<Mat> all chicks are whores, they just charge differently
<Tippytoes> mat do you have a girlfriend?
<Mat> what do you think ;)
<NuTCAsE> i havn't heard him use the word bitch recently
<NuTCAsE> so i'm going with "no"
#8768 [ + | - ] 2
<wokness|homework> Without the powers of Vi ---> (Me: "Cute
girl with you go out with me?" Her: "No.")
<wokness|homework> With the powers of Vi ---> (Me: Cute girl
will you go out with me?!" Her: "Yes.")
#8767 [ + | - ] 207
<undrewb> I keep telling you, you can come work for me
<MMouse> what would i be doing?
<Tippytoes> cleaning his house
<undrewb> delphi programming :)
<MMouse> urgh
<MMouse> would i have to learn delphi?
#8766 [ + | - ] 203
<Ryk> one of my favourite passtimes spotting boobjob scars.
<Ryk> nothing sexual about it. just like to beat the airbrush.
#8765 [ + | - ] 254
<Bru> marriage is just a cover for individualised prostitution
#8764 [ + | - ] 79
<Finno> Elton Johns tribute toJohn Denver, he reworded Johns
Classic, Annies song - "You Fill Up My Cessna"
#8762 [ + | - ] 105
<Afterglow> tom what's the wallop command for mirc? you know?
<relapse> slash onotice i am gay
#8761 [ + | - ] 399
<jamesm> good porn would be a chick taking it up the arse
while configuring a dns server
<jamesm> the guy could do a zone transfer to her secondary
<jamesm> if you know what i mean
#8759 [ + | - ] 340
<jamesm> is it worth going to see Moulin Rouge?
<Tippytoes> dont be a fag
<MMouse> i saw it twice. it was excellent
<Tippytoes> i rest my case.
#8758 [ + | - ] 33
<tom_> do you agree that PI > 3
<buz-> no
#8757 [ + | - ] 547
<Kurt> Good day prospective employer, I am both smarter than a
hatful of periwinkles and prettier than two bags of smashed
assholes.  Fail to employ me at your own risk.
#8756 [ + | - ] 195
<arioch> deathwarrior: you have guests over how do they feel
about you masturbating in front of your computer?
<deathwarrior> umm
<deathwarrior> they like it
#8755 [ + | - ] 1057
<radead> (number of slashdot posts x ultima online character
level)^(number of dime sized zits on face)/(girlfriends had
before + 1) = sizeOf(nerd)
<radead> girlfriends had before + 1 so we don't get a divide
by zero error
#8753 [ + | - ] 325
<Mat> what's a mac sysadmin?
<Ryk> bru's a mac sysadmin.
<Bru> someone who can remove shrinkwrap from macromedia and
adobe packages and knows the difference between appleshare and
appletalk
#8752 [ + | - ] 445
<Linguica> do you even know what facetious means
<pickle_hammer> yeah I am facetious
<pickle_hammer> all the way
<pickle_hammer> I go to facetious parades and stuff
#8751 [ + | - ] 476
* Toke_ waits for pills to kick in
<Linguica> toke have you been toking
* Toke_ wonders why his desk is sticky
<Linguica> toke have you been stroking
#8750 [ + | - ] 458
<mantra> the other guitarist in my band owns my soul
<mantra> i sold it to him in third grade for a peanut butter
cup
<mantra> he still has the little yellow paper
#8748 [ + | - ] 1187
<Bayls> I'm downloading "two girls in the woods stop to kiss
and piss.mpg".
<Bayls> And it turns out it's an mpg of two chicks in thw
woods who stop to kiss, and then piss.
<Bayls> Dunno what I was expecting.
#8745 [ + | - ] 286
<fraggle> when i typed lesbian i almost typed debian
#8743 [ + | - ] 224
<Linguica> heh
<Quasar`> bone thugs called the street they lived on the
Double Glock because its East 99th
<Linguica> has anyone noticed that quasar almost never talks
about bone thugsFUCK
#8741 [ + | - ] 332
<Doomaholic> my pad fell off, and i can play in an octave
thats not supposted to exist
#8738 [ + | - ] 1579
<AndrewB> I've played the Expansion Pack for about an hour and
a half, and I'm already boAGH GET AWAY FROM ME YOU MOTH
#8735 [ + | - ] 601
<arfmcbarf> i'm gonna teach you a lesson you wont soon forget
<arfmcbarf> i.e., how to integrate ln x from 0 to infinity
<arfmcbarf> first you get the antiderivitive
<arfmcbarf> of ln(x)
<arfmcbarf> i.e., 1/x
<arfmcbarf> then i forget the rest
#8734 [ + | - ] 473
Walter39: I woke up in a ditch last night
Walter39: Not sure why
Walter39: Family left me, i cant afford pants
Walter39: But on a plus note, I finally won master status at
Everquest
#8732 [ + | - ] 217
<LordBlink> i once made out with a picture of the sorceress
<LordBlink> does that make me lame?
#8731 [ + | - ] 507
<cams> i dont like risking it. you can never tell if that
"Lesbian House Party" hardcore porn turns out to be "Donky
Anal Rape"
<Meat_PoPs> or vise versa
#8729 [ + | - ] 469
<tobester> i wish more people would conform to stereotypes so
I could be more racist
#8728 [ + | - ] 371
<@Linguica> wooo
<@Linguica> amy jo johnson naked
<@arioch> whoa
<@arioch> arcing hydra bow
<@Linguica> and such is our difference
#8727 [ + | - ] 981
<Afterglow> I remember when i was leaving for university my
brother told me, "If you come back a goth I'll kill you".
<Jon_R> my brother just said "If you come back I'll kill you"
<Linguica> my brother said "come on my back or i'll kill you"
#8726 [ + | - ] 406
<mewse> contrary to popular belief there are periods where i
dont feel like drinking
<mewse> these periods, i call "hangovers"
#8725 [ + | - ] 60
< linguica_> remember +v = gay
< Insomniak> +v me
#8724 [ + | - ] 84
<mewse> i wonder what drinking rye in the shower feels like
#8723 [ + | - ] 497
<Linguica> whatever you say honey
<Linguica> err homey
#8722 [ + | - ] 345
<Cyb> I remember the first time I talked to my ex girlfriend
on aim
<Cyb> and I said 'heh'
<Cyb> and she was like "I hate when people say that!"
<Cyb> that was like the most traumatic moment of my life
#8721 [ + | - ] 351
<pritch> yeah well i do an english writing degree
<Linguica> do have
#8719 [ + | - ] 288
<AndrewB> Lonely..
<Linguica> aww
<AndrewB> Come to bed and snuggle with me.
<AndrewB> Er, wrong window.
#8717 [ + | - ] 133
<tobester> woah FIRE
<tobester> bbiab
#8716 [ + | - ] 262
<relapse> what distribution are you running
<aur__> windows
#8713 [ + | - ] 561
<arioch> Mario 69: Toadstool Gets Reamed
<fraggle> i'd love to give the princess a good bonin'
<aur__> sorry fraggle, but the princess is in another castle
#8711 [ + | - ] 17
<JtHM> http://members.cox.net/image.server/
nat-portman-pikey.jpg <- hrmmmm
<shpongle> jt - shes going commando !
<JtHM> she's going on an archeological dig!
#8710 [ + | - ] 167
* Quasar` waves a fist at irc.concentric.net
*** Quasar` has quit IRC (irc.exodus.net *.concentric.net)
#8708 [ + | - ] 364
<DW-Steve> i'm a hacker
<mystican> no you're not
<mystican> you're a farmer
<mystican> theres a difference
#8707 [ + | - ] 311
<fraggle> get in trouble?
<Afterglow> fraggle: getting in trouble because you look like
elton john, of course
<fraggle> yeah they're always disappointed when they find i
cant play candle in the wind
<fraggle> "so.. we measure the voltage across.... wait is that
elton john back there? can you play us a song?"
#8706 [ + | - ] 902
<tom_> i heard that if you walk into a fridge and close the
door you cant get out again
<tom_> im sure if i got stuck in a fridge i could get out
<tom_> im gonna fuckin try it
#8705 [ + | - ] 268
<Jon-> doing some C coding ;)
<Anselmo> pfft
<Anselmo> Learn a real language
<Anselmo> Like Amiga Basic
#8704 [ + | - ] 699
<prower> check out what i put on e-bay
<tom_> oh god
<tom_> are you trying to sell your sister again
<tom_> i keep telling you its illegal
#8702 [ + | - ] 195
<Sull> what is this obsession with trading pics?
<lostsoul1> it is kind of like pokemon...you gota collect them
all