hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21117 Approved Quotes | 3 in Moderation Queue
#8943 [ + | - ] 242
<Straylight> THIS JUST IN: Never trust your 9 year-old
daughter with a babysitter named "Penishead McMurphy"
<Straylight> you cant trust those Micks
#8942 [ + | - ] 496
<outRider> i bought MoH: AA today... boy, world war II was
easy.
#8940 [ + | - ] 155
«@MegaFrogg» wow... these spammers sure are subtle
«@MegaFrogg» [%] added [GIVE_ME_UR_PUSSY] (*!
*getrjtjty@203.135.12.*) to the Shitlist
#8934 [ + | - ] 190
<@kt> i'm going to put icey hot on my nipples again
<@kt> bye
#8930 [ + | - ] 50
<XvRickH> is an oc3 connection like...2 T3s combined?
<Goetterdaemmerung> 3.
<Goetterdaemmerung> hence oc-"3"
<XvRickH> so could I combine like 2 DSL lines and make
like...an DSL2 or something?
#8929 [ + | - ] 173
<Delver> also it has been shown that the more woman are
exposed to sex the higher their antibody count against disease
<strung> so sex is good for fiting disease?
<strung> ill use that excuse next time
#8928 [ + | - ] 237
<grey`> how much do cheek clenches help ass shape?
<grey`> i need to firm up my ass
<grey`> like i'm always clenching to tunes in winamp, i'd like
to think its effective
#8926 [ + | - ] 343
<zita> hi im a 17 yers old girl from norway,i have birtday too
day
<meyou> 17 year old girl from norway? doesn't that mean you're
a 43 year old man from the U.S. ?
#8924 [ + | - ] 147
<un2> should i just settle for a bmw?
<Gen`Aku> settle settle?!?!?1
<Gen`Aku> don't use the word settle and bmw in the same
sentance
<Gen`Aku> unless it's about the dust settling
<Gen`Aku> BITCH
#8923 [ + | - ] 370
<Celery533> I have single handedly programmed applications
which corporations have purchased from me.
* LS * Maur prefers to type double-handedly :)
#8919 [ + | - ] 360
* zebra does the menstrual blood dance
<Slvrchair> zebra: your dances scare me.
<zebra> You should see them in person.
<zebra> It could be worse.
<zebra> I could give you the menstrual blood lapdance :P
<Slvrchair> ew, no :P
#8909 [ + | - ] 29
<Sinatra> foam dancing is a way to spread chlamydia
#8908 [ + | - ] -28
<spineshank> come to my city, everyone who isn't white smells,
and no that isnt a racist comment either
#8906 [ + | - ] 534
<vidividividi> kristen dumped me
<greggyhot> oh NO!
<vidividividi> i cant believe it
<vidividividi> i JUST bought her a 300 dollar necklace!!!
<vidividividi> at least i can count on all of you for support
*** vidividividi has been kicked by krassproduction (get the
fuck out of here, you cheap jerk)
#8902 [ + | - ] 282
<DL|horses> Death to all who oppose me!
* Warlord dies
#8899 [ + | - ] 248
<Lazzay> PREPARE ALL ASSES FOR IMMEDIATE ENTRY
#8896 [ + | - ] 234
<StoneTear> damn i'm hot
<StoneTear> i smell like barbequed eliteness
#8893 [ + | - ] 215
<Nutter> This is what our secretary just said on the phone
<Nutter> "Hi, got Anal Fire Brigade on the phone for you..."
#8891 [ + | - ] 46
:TheDude: why are some Vhosts not traceable while some are
traceable?
:TheDude: NetAdmin.irc-chat.net
:TheDude: is one from a whois
#8888 [ + | - ] 212
<tirloni> drolp, I was going to get a XP1900+, then a bill
suddenly got in my table. Then I moved to a XP1500. Another
bill, Duron. By the end of the month Iwas looking at the
prices of a p133mmx
<aq> pharcyde: are you running a window manager?
<tirloni> now I'm happy with my calculator
#8887 [ + | - ] 47
<GoodScrat> how's the humanoid with the wet crotch doing?
<Zygote-> and hill billy slang
<Zygote-> haha
<Zygote-> you mean my wife?
#8886 [ + | - ] 208
<Ven> Fuck
<Ven> This is a long shot, but
<Ven> has anyone seen the pinout for the 4-player connector
for the CPS2 arcade system?
<Ven> Oh fuck!
<Ven> I bet it's in my D&D Mystara manual
#8881 [ + | - ] 893
<fo0bar> man, do you know HOW FUCKING LONG a 15ft kvm cable
is?
<synec> 15ft?
#8875 [ + | - ] 298
<GoodScrat> my gf is twice your age
<db-x> goodscrat, twice is about the time i get her in a week
<GoodScrat> to do what, change your diaper?
#8873 [ + | - ] 208
* Crimson has joined #arsclan
<stargurl> hello
<Sinned> hello
<Crimson> hello
<Griz> hello.jpg
#8867 [ + | - ] 49
<Rance> i'm right next to a gateway country... i should walk
in with my powerbook :)
#8866 [ + | - ] 364
<Rance> so... i'm driving to cedar rapids today
<Rance> and i'm feeling a little frisky...
<Rance> so i start cranking one off in the car
<Rance> and it's really kind of funny when you... achieve your
objective, and you wind up laying on the horn... and it's
blaring for like 1/4 mile
<Rance> so now the next time i hear someone going down the
road with their horn going for no reason... i'll know
#8864 [ + | - ] 292
<+Sonikku> 10 PRINT "_Bobbi_ is a PROGRAMER!"
<+Sonikku> 20 GOTO 10
<@dixon> Sonikku: what is that ? assembly ?
#8863 [ + | - ] 143
<Bikky> I've been staring at fserves so long I don't know
whether I need a shit or a haircut
#8857 [ + | - ] 236
<aqela> YES!
ùíù mode/#mandrake [+v nomercy] by level
<aqela> my linux came
<aqela> yes!
<[Mosher]> did yah get any on you ?
#8855 [ + | - ] 123
<Anton> whooops
<Anton> I was just talking to a girl on msn and she stopped
replying so I said I wanted to fuck her in the ass to get her
attention
<Anton> then her little brother just said "soow y anton i have
stolen my putta zar is npot bein wude shell brb"
#8854 [ + | - ] 6
<Shrap> What is pubes?
#8853 [ + | - ] 838
<tom> did you hear about the magic tractor?
<tom> it went down the hill and turned into a field!!!
<ReAc> :/
<dave> did you hear about the magic tom?
<dave> he went down the hill and I stabbed him in the face
#8851 [ + | - ] 534
<Grumbledook> my mum told me off for saying fuck in front of
her
<bodhi> hmmm
<bodhi> my dad bollocks me for saying piss in the house
<Grumbledook> :P
<dave> my mum told me off for shitting on a plate and putting
it in the fridge
#8849 [ + | - ] 338
<Balli> the kid in the middle of the pic is getting his ass
fingered
<Balli> look at his face
<jaunty> balli.. thats me, cockmonger
#8848 [ + | - ] 24
<Balli> I know a few sluts like that
<BadMojo> yeah
<BadMojo> welcome to germ city
<BadMojo> "hi, could I take your order please?"
<jaunty> this bitch needed her kneecaps reconstructed because
she spent to long on them
<BadMojo> "Yeah, I'd like a lay with a side order of herpes
and a super-sized case of the clap, please"
#8846 [ + | - ] 292
<IH8Pants> I was too talented for the football team
<IH8Pants> So I joined band
#8845 [ + | - ] 397
<Fetch#acknak> 19 apache processes
<Fetch#acknak> I think maybe your mail server has a problem ;)
<karlitoX#acknak> are those forked or threaded
<Fetch#acknak> karlitoX: does it matter? its a mail server ;)
<karlitoX#acknak> it's a mail server with aspirations!  do not
stifle it's creativity
#8844 [ + | - ] 288
<marius_#acknak> Prosecutors, quoted by the Associated Press
and Reuters, also said the man was carrying a CD-ROM in his
baggage that contained a training programme for fighters
wanting to wage "holy war."
<marius_#acknak> I wonder if this training program is based on
the quake engine.
#8837 [ + | - ] 89
<Ez> School books are fun to sell.
<Ez> and will be forever
<Vazagi> Isn't sort of like selling crack? Rots the mind and
so on...
#8836 [ + | - ] 72
<D1> can't touch this.
<var> thats because were not gay and have no desire to d1
#8835 [ + | - ] 251
mike_afe > [John's dad is sick of waiting. His son has been in
'that bloody bathroom' for nearly two hours. Finally, his
temper snaps; he kicks down the door to discover his son
knealing infront of the 68000 data manual.]
mike_afe > "Ah! Shut the door dad!"
#8834 [ + | - ] 60
mike_afe > I just watched Wild Wild West. What a turkey. I
chose it over The Water Boy and The Thin Red Line. What a
dick. This reminds me of the time that Moretom came back from
the shop with an Atari ST under his arm...
#8832 [ + | - ] 444
mike > What do they send you if you send those penis
enlargement companies some money?
mike > "No pill, no pumps. Simple exercises you can do at
home.". I have a feeling I am probably already doing whatever
it is.
#8830 [ + | - ] 948
<pr0k> I could do it when I was like 15, however, the
pleasurable sensation of having a mouth on my penis was
completely cancalled out by the sensation of having a penis in
my mouth.
#8829 [ + | - ] 1031
<TheTheory> I only have two exams left this semester
<TheTheory> Math (easy) and English (WERY easy)
#8825 [ + | - ] 206
*dpk* man, i need to start taking cocaine.
*dpk* i keep getting winded waling up stairs
*necroid* you should just start smoking
*necroid* it'll make it worse, but at least you'll have an
excuse
#8824 [ + | - ] 43
<person> jezabel's perrrty hot..
<Coolblunt> the reason obsie hates jez so much is cuz i think
ralph said she was hot :)
<steebis> obsie is a tubby bitch too
<steebis> its called jealousy
<Coolblunt> in baseball terms if jezebel is home plate obsie
is out in the parking lot somewhere
#8822 [ + | - ] 178
<bytraper> im like midas... everything I touch turns to shit
#8820 [ + | - ] 206
<OhioJoe> Steempy, you mentioend an automatic swich box.. I
have a chrome box that has a switch on it too, with coax
connecters on eitehr side, with a switch on it.. that is a
manual switch box?
<God-Zilla> nah, thats a prostate stimulator
<neogeoMAN>  I have one of those wired to my tinfoil hat.
<neogeoMAN> I can switch the aliens on or off.