hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#10401 [ + | - ] 218
<DaveCBio> Man, if drama could be harnassed as a power source
the world
would be lit up forever
#10399 [ + | - ] 193
<Toast> I prefer to op softly and carry a big kline
#10396 [ + | - ] 310
[S+Z] Signoff: Atlaz_ (.)
<Joke> Why does Atlaz always quit with just one tit?
#10380 [ + | - ] 172
<@cloudchild> if i wanted to drink the blood from a horned
creature, i would've went after bob dole
<@DarkDread> I just thought those were really large ears.
<@cloudchild> nope horns.  and he hides his tail well...but
you can see his hoofed feet if the camera angle is right
<@cloudchild> "I'm bob dole!  i kill virgins and drink the
blood of the pope!"
<@DarkDread> what's so bad about that?
<@cloudchild> nothin.
#10372 [ + | - ] 6599
<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin
at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell  tab
down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5
submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then
all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy
loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot
sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore
fetish gayporn.
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im
gay... it owns
#10362 [ + | - ] 529
Skyraider: you might be surprised how black clouds can be :)
MrPumpernickel: rgb: 0,0,0?
#10361 [ + | - ] 360
<AsylumXKP> And it hard to hit on the German chicks thanks to
the thick language barrier.
<Erdrick> just pull it out and point to it
#10360 [ + | - ] 298
<Fentom> great, I'm spending my saturday nights on the
computer looking at pictures of dildos
<Fentom> trekkies look down on me and call me sad
#10350 [ + | - ] 1137
<ignatz> You are carrying one half-empty Anchor Steam beer, a
GameBoy, and an angst-filled heart.  You are in a clearing in
the woods near a technology company.
<zebulon_y> w
<ignatz> You fall into the Pacific Ocean.
<zebulon_y> e
<ignatz> You are in a clearing in the woods near a technology
company. There is a dwarf here with a hat that says "QA" on
it.
<zebulon_y> drink beer
<ignatz> glug.
<zebulon_y> say hello to dwarf
<ignatz> FUCK YOU, THAT'S MARKETING'S JOB says the dwarf. He
hits you with a memo and you die.
#10345 [ + | - ] 550
<AceAway> well later bitches of to the hospital
<SForce> that sounds promising
<AceAway> not really spend half my life going to them all part
of being stuck in this damn wheelchair
<SForce> unfortunate
<SForce> makes me want to stand up
#10339 [ + | - ] 263
<Gorilla> aye. they didnt have any Dogs Bollocks in
sainsburys, so i took a customer comment's card, and expressed
my disappointment with them not stocking Dog's Bollocks on
their shelves.
<Gorilla> tey sent me back a letter saying that they do not
stock chinese delicacies. i think they thought i meant the
actual testicles.
#10305 [ + | - ] 219
<OmegaWeapon> no i believe you but i aslo think you are lying
#10289 [ + | - ] 194
<purr> nah, i'm gonna wait for him to come to me
<Sorcerer> the scene from Gladiator comes to mind
<Sorcerer> "I caught wind of a fish that waits on the bottom
of the ocean for it's prey to take a nibble"
<Sorcerer> "The prey nibbles more and yet, the fish does
nothing..."
<purr> Oh well, as long as I end up eaten in the end ;p
#10288 [ + | - ] 323
* kaori hugs Corey as a friend.
<Surago> how else do you hug someone?
<kaori> There are
<kaori> different ways
<kaori> to hug people
<Surago> A very friendly hug consists of you hugging my legs
while you suck my penis?
#10284 [ + | - ] 1171
<AnalInvasion> my dick is so big it has feet
<NinjaInThePants> my dick is so big popcorn now comes in
small, medium, large, and my dick.
#10280 [ + | - ] 1735
<Jesse> hello, I am Jesse, male, 28 years old, caucasian, and
am looking for friends to chat with. I hope to see you online
<Amanda`> I HOPE TO SEE YOU FACE-DOWN IN A QUAGMIRE WITH A
NINE IRON LODGED BETWEEN YOUR SHOULDER BLADES
#10279 [ + | - ] 170
<eller> my kids will be breast fed by Cat5
#10264 [ + | - ] 411
<lungfish> your job like involved relocation AND gay sex
<Rottencrotch> wuts ur point
<LuftWaffle-away> he didnt want to relocate
#10262 [ + | - ] 571
<MoonFog> Accept my send!!
<spark-> are you behind a firewall?
<MoonFog> Yes. but i can send
<spark-> Please consult your network administrator
<MoonFog> I am, and i know it works
<spark-> Please insult your network administrator
#10261 [ + | - ] 387
<mindran> ok i'm going to be fired
<mindran> i made some thing generate random passwords for this
app i just made
<mindran> and sent it out
<mindran> and some of them are horrible :(
<mindran> i dont want to be the person who's password is now
"hard14long"
<mindran> or "like10come"
#10260 [ + | - ] 788
2( SilentSniper )  : I took my ps2 to florida, and the
airport security bomb checker dude wouldnt stop asking me
questions... "Did you get it when it was $200 or $300? Should
I get an XBox or a PS2? I heard that a Ps3 is coming out? What
is the best game?"
14( OuT-4-BlooD )  : haha
02( SilentSniper )  : SHUT UP AND LOOK FOR DANGEROUS
EXPLOSIVES AND QUESTIONABLE FOREIGNERS
#10236 [ + | - ] 174
<etch:#unix> i don't like unix or any of you either
#10229 [ + | - ] 56
<bin\girl> im evolved from elephants
<Pioenz> i can see that :-)
#10226 [ + | - ] 611
<True_Blue> You ever buy ribbed condoms?
<True_Blue> I always turn them inside out, I'm selfish
#10223 [ + | - ] 46
<luminosity> No wait... I can do better than that. they should
develop a
neural connection so I can sit here and not even
have to move.
<martinb> sure. Can it write this requirements spec I'm
working on, too?
<luminosity> Why the hell not?
<luminosity> While it's at it it can do my homework so I can
concentrate on
fun stuff.
<martinb> so get working on it!
<martinb> no, wait, recusion
<martinb> damn
#10217 [ + | - ] 866
<NK|Snipe>_____/\_____\o/_____
<NK|Snipe>^Shark Attack :)
#10213 [ + | - ] 1169
<Blaxthos> any fat bitches with inner beauty wanna chat ?
#10208 [ + | - ] 198
<lo-d0gg> man.. these quotes are funny as!
<Ho-Train> what server/channel are you on?
<lo-d0gg> uhm, no channels.. www.geekissues.org
<Ho-Train> dammit! i can't connect..
<Ho-Train> [12:03:15am] *** Connecting to geekissues.org
(6667)
<Ho-Train> [12:03:24am] *** Connection attempt timed out
<Ho-Train> [12:03:27am] *** Connect retry #1 geekissues.org
(6667)
<Ho-Train> [12:03:36am] *** Connection attempt timed out
#10204 [ + | - ] 391
<Mr_Grinch> i just burned my nose hair
<Mr_Grinch> by trying to smell the flame of my lighter
#10203 [ + | - ] 911
<DIguana> Canada: Home of the largest French population never
to surrender to Germany.
#10199 [ + | - ] 244
*** Vor sets mode: -b *!*f@*.ipt.aol.com
*** Vor (disposable@=Uun814-ye4.cvx1-a.lei.dial.ntli.net) Quit
(nexus.ca.us.webchat.org sauron.ca.us.webchat.org)
<Yates> thats what you get for unbanning aol.
#10197 [ + | - ] 597
<Trendarth> wb
<Yamatto> ta
<Trendarth> np
<@antix> why does everyone talk in two letters these days...
<Trendarth> dk
<Trendarth> because our society promotes slothenly behaviour
<@antix> ok
#10186 [ + | - ] 269
]-eX-[Mad^AfK is
x0z@prefers.linux.and.never.uses.progs.from.m-i-c-r-o-s-0-f-t.de
* nfwuor
[]-eX-[Mad^AfK VERSION reply]: mIRC32 v6.0 + dEfCoN oNe v0.74.65
by Ecronika
#10185 [ + | - ] 511
<Mike_McCormick> how do you change your name? i tried /nick
Mike but it won't work
<Mike> that's because I have that one dingleberry
#10171 [ + | - ] 720
DeusXMac: sex?
themole: unzip;strip;touch;grep;grep;finger;mount;fsck;more;
yes;fsck;fsck;fsck;umount;sleep (Core dumped) general
protection fault... core dumped.
#10165 [ + | - ] 620
BeHeMoTh101 : dude, this one time in school i was looking at
this advertisement to a christian club
BeHeMoTh101 : and on the poster it said "who carries your
load? jesus does."
BeHeMoTh101 : and i was like, wtf it's the scrotum
#10162 [ + | - ] 384
<Gygaxis> hitler: NO FAIR!!! ENGLANDS WALLHACKING!!!!1
#10159 [ + | - ] 197
<etc> so tempting to release a product called 'nicotine' and
wait for the patches.
<etc> then i would have a reason to only apply one patch a
day. otherwise, i'm going against medical advise.
#10158 [ + | - ] 512
<vegetaandnappa> nothing, just pissed at my GAY mouse
<shqua> Your mouth has a sexual preference?
<shqua> Err...
<shqua> Mouse.
shqua (~shqua@net47-206.fhsu.edu) is now known as DrFreud
<DrFreud> Oh, my...
#10145 [ + | - ] 29
<luczzid> kinda funny that the corporate facist assholes at
disney are using commy
software like linux.  fucking assholes
#10141 [ + | - ] 43
<Mr_CAD> let's try a different encoding..
<Mr_CAD> hehe ANSI
<Mr_CAD> !translate en_zh test
<CCU-Bot> TRANSLATING... ONE MOMENT, PLEASE
<CCU-Bot>  BABEL&nbsp;FISH&nbsp;&nbsp; The Web is full of
suprises. Questions? Check out our FAQs.
<Mr_CAD> lol
<Mr_CAD> well, obviously it doesn't take ANSI :)
#10135 [ + | - ] 856
<Starchild> !define PCMCIA
<CCU-Bot> DEFINING... ONE MOMENT, PLEASE
<CCU-Bot> 2 entries found for PCMCIA.
<CCU-Bot> Entry 1/2:
<CCU-Bot> PCMCIA
<CCU-Bot>  <body, standard> Personal Computer Memory Card
International
<CCU-Bot>  Association. (Or People Can't Memorise Computer
Industry
<CCU-Bot>  Acronyms).
<CCU-Bot> DONE - PCMCIA (Entry 1/2)
<Starchild> hey, fuck you
#10131 [ + | - ] 296
<!5_DeR> you didnt just read what one guy on a forum said  and
accepted it as truth
<NoDamage> yes i have

<NoDamage> i find the internet to be pretty reliable
#10128 [ + | - ] 164
<hh> have u ever fucked nickelodean gak?
<hh> i have
<hh> its awesome
<hh> i call it masturbation goo
#10117 [ + | - ] 356
<Guilty> I had lilo and stitch all along
<Mass> you have it ?
<Guilty> I just didnt realize its 1 fucking CD
<Mass> ohh dood send
<var> ill pretend both of you didnt just say that
<var> and we can still be friends
#10116 [ + | - ] 833
Greg um...: west is that way.. --->
juggalett_chick: no thats north here
Greg um...: not my fault your monitor is facing the wrong
way...
#10110 [ + | - ] 2132
<kinijima> why do they keep programming labs so fucking cold?
<aalti> so the computers don't get over heated?
<kinijima> so what the fuck did  the people do back when there
was no air conditioning?
<aalti> you're a fucking idiot.
#10101 [ + | - ] -16
*** [ED]znapz` (~znappe@enslaved.nu) has joined #
dead-presidents
<[ED]znapz`> but..
<[ED]znapz`> I want @
<[ED]znapz`> suck cock
*** [ED]znapz` (~znappe@enslaved.nu) has left #dead-presidents
#10084 [ + | - ] 312
<X> come cover the desk so i can pizza, darrell :)
<Zero> I need to wait for the landlord's dwarves to arrive and
forge a new thermostat
#10075 [ + | - ] 1498
<Vic> You there X?
<X> no
<X> fuck