hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 2 in Moderation Queue
#12431 [ + | - ] 9218
<Hiroe> he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
<Hiroe> like, HUGE costume
<Hiroe> 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
<Hiroe> at some anime con in california
<Hiroe> they were double booked with a southern Baptist group
in the same hotel
<Hiroe> he's riding the elevator down to the con space
<Hiroe> doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
<Hiroe> he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice
#12430 [ + | - ] 228
<Lithium^> I always attract either scary men/ugly men/
psychopaths
<Smess> what's your profile URL?
<Lithium^> Smess: gaydar/uk18
<Smess> "I like making new friends all the time, especially if
you`re a big bear" - yep.. think I've found your problem.
#12423 [ + | - ] 505
<Arafelis> Er, can anyone help me get rid of a virus?
<Arafelis> I sort of need to before it takes out my computer.
<Arafelis> It's creating a junk file called WIN386.swp
#12407 [ + | - ] 1091
<Ixnorp[Regenerating]> I think I've found an excellent unit of
size measurement. It's the 'I could kill you and hide your
body in it' unit. People usually become very quiet after you
say, "yea, I could kill you and 3 other people and hide the
bodies in this"
#12395 [ + | - ] 388
<@Blackout> is it ok to masturbate and irc at the same time,
what ya guys think
<@fragge> dont aim your cum on my nick
#12379 [ + | - ] 183
<[{ug}]> hmm i really should spring clean this pooter. /usr/
src is taking up 2.1Gb
<Lithium^> what have you got in there? the sources to your
porn collection?
#12365 [ + | - ] 611
* SoulStealer is back -[ auto-away after 60 minutes idle ]-
gone 9 hr 24 min 38 s
<SoulStealer> skold
<SoulStealer> Think you should add a global command in Cygnus?
/notice $*.net get's annoying.
<SoulStealer> guess not.
*** Parts: SoulStealer
(NeonNitrat@user-24-214-140-218.knology.net)
<@skold> uh
<@skold> the guy idles for 9 HOURS and leaves in 10 seconds
when i dont answer him
#12356 [ + | - ] 402
<NASTYFEET> ANY TUFF GUYS HERE THAT WILL FIGHT MY DAD ?  MSG
ME
#12351 [ + | - ] 445
*** Joins: Morrison (Me@bgm-24-95-151-178.stny.rr.com)
<Morrison> HI
<KaeFK> you are not authorized to peruse the content in this
channel.
<KaeFK> you shall leave at once or be terminated
<Morrison> Sorry
<Morrison> bye
*** Parts: Morrison (Me@bgm-24-95-151-178.stny.rr.com)
#12347 [ + | - ] 782
<@skold> is this going to be a 'my penis is bigger than yours'
conversation? cuz i have a ruler and a camera.
#12343 [ + | - ] 399
<McMoo> i think there's a vacuum cleaner thief in the
neighborshood
<McMoo> i wake up to a knocking on the door
<McMoo> some aZn woman is there
<McMoo> 'hi, i live down in 114. do you by any chance have a
vacuum i could borrow?'
<McMoo> i'm not even sure there is a 114 in our building
<McMoo> and she's been vacuuming for a while now.
#12342 [ + | - ] 230
<Atob> YOU CANT SAY "I SEE" IN TWO CHARACTERS IT'S LAZY
<Mortimer> fine
<Mortimer> i'll take a note of that
<Atob> Unless you're being ironic, then it's fine.
<Atob> But you have to be inside an ironclad and claim
sanctuary.
<Mortimer> "i am presently in visual and mental awareness of
the aforementioned fact"
<Mortimer> sound good?
<Atob> Sure is.
#12340 [ + | - ] 247
<ScottY> I think you're number 65344 that asks me to beam them
up... please stop that, it's annoying!'
<Rain> that's what you get for taking the nick scotty
#12339 [ + | - ] 327
<TommyLee> what site?
<Dan`> http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/
<TommyLee> you donated 3.00 ?
<Dan`> no
<XG3> fuck i did
<XG3> i thought it was mandatory
#12334 [ + | - ] 323
<@GoodScrat> Hello,
<@GoodScrat> I noticed you have a Linux 101 keyboard for $69
at:
<@GoodScrat> http://store.yahoo.com/pckeyboards/linux101.html
<@GoodScrat> I was wondering why this keyboard is not free.
<@GoodScrat> Thanks,
<@GoodScrat> Johnny
#12327 [ + | - ] 265
<@madragoran> then i couldn't find the buslogic module
<@madragoran> so i went and recompiled my kernel
<@madragoran> still couldn't find it
<@madragoran> oh
<@madragoran> there it is - BusLogic
<@madragoran> fucking hell
<@madragoran> since when are module names capitalized?
<@madragoran> BusLogic and NVidia think they are hot shit
#12322 [ + | - ] 450
<Josh> hey Lan
<Josh> i just would like to say
<Josh> that if world war iii comes tomorrow
<Josh> i loved you most of all
<@Lan> i would like to say
<@Lan> if ww iii comes tomorrow
<@Lan> i loved orange soda more than any of you
#12321 [ + | - ] 125
* Joins: pSYKOSONIK (Enigma@xxx.ipt.aol.com)
<Lan> I figured he'd have a little "p".
#12318 [ + | - ] 6275
* @Lan plays with his privates.
<Rintaun> ...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat
#12317 [ + | - ] 463
<gorilla> ANY GIRLS HERE
<Lan> yeah, wanna cyber?
<gorilla> YES
<gorilla> HOW
<Lan> sorta like this
* gorilla (gorilla@xxx.ipt.aol.com) Quit (Connection reset by
peer)
<Lan> a little to the left
#12306 [ + | - ] 554
<AGaeris> With her gone, now Breathe is the only girl-type
left for me to talk to in here.
<@Breathe> Who said you could talk to me?
#12304 [ + | - ] 389
<@Breathe> Server announcement:  >>Attention please: We are
about to reset the Linuxguy server to upgrade the chat
softweare. This will cause you to disconnect. You should be
able to reconnect right away. If you have any problems, please
let us know in #magicstar.. We will reset linuxguy in 2
minutes.<<
<@Breathe> I love it.  "If you can't reconnect, come into a
channel and let us know!"
#12303 [ + | - ] 515
<baldurk> btw, happy independance day!!
<baldurk> although in england we call it thanksgiving day
#12299 [ + | - ] 1268
<Chern> IM SO FUCKIN BORED!
* Reaper is now known as Reaper[HAVINGFUN]
* BongB is now known as Bong[NOTBORED]
* Chissy is now known as Chiss[FUNFUNFUN]
* brod is now known as brod[IMNOTBORED]
<Chern> FUCK!!!!!!
#12298 [ + | - ] 633
* brokengolfclub goes to hunt down food or sex
<brokengolfclub> whichever I find first
<brokengolfclub> I found some crackers
<brokengolfclub> they didnt really satisfy me
<GreyWulfe> You where supposed to eat them.
<brokengolfclub> damn my roomates girlfriend smells
good.......
#12292 [ + | - ] 192
Daeg says, "We are watching the dead deer show."
Una says, "A whole show about dead deers?"
Daeg says, "It seems to be."
Una says, "This isn't that Canadian soft porn channel again,
is it? :)"
#12291 [ + | - ] 369
<Hurricane> I wonder if the Banner people would be offended if
I started a
little project that would require about 400
inserts per second
on the Oracle server.
<Krinberry> Easy way to find out, Bran :)
<Hurricane> Yes!  Exploration through experimentation is what
a University
is all about, after all.  :)
<Gord> They mean pot and orgies, not database hosing! (:
#12290 [ + | - ] 431
<DMA57361> my sister has a theory about ppl called dave . . .
<DMA57361> every company everywhere has a least 1 person
called "Dave"
<DMA57361> phone up a random company, ask for "Dave" and there
will be one
#12283 [ + | - ] 1104
<Nor> i found my 1st grey pubic hair the other day :(
<Nor> It was in a BigMac
#12281 [ + | - ] 309
<{GOD}> who has the internet
#12271 [ + | - ] 187
<Colrblind> Dev: it could be worse.. you could have a mullet
and actually think its cool
#12263 [ + | - ] 566
<ducks> HOLY SHIT
<ducks> THAT WAS A MILKSHAKE?!?!?!?!
<ducks> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
<ducks> og my god. that was disgusting.
<ducks> I had this cup on my desk
<ducks> for a few months
<ducks> thinking there was soda in it
<ducks> IT WAS A MILKSHAKE
#12261 [ + | - ] 152
<liqshot|GreenZ> only thing more superior then the white man
is an albino white man
<liqshot|GreenZ> the whitest man of all
#12257 [ + | - ] 719
<Rjx> Running Virus Decector Version 1.0.2 - Type ? for
disinfect help
<dadadada> ?
<Rjx> The irc.infect.bears.you virus has been detected from
your IRC client
<dadadada> how can i clean it?
<Rjx> To disinfect type "/timer 0 1 /msg <channel you are in>
bear.be.gone"
<Rjx> End of Instruction -|
<dadada> ok
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
*** dadadada was kicked by Snes9x (flood)
#12254 [ + | - ] 334
<Art`> I don't want to work with people, I'm not a big people
person
<Saccy> I thought you wanted to be a surgeon?
<Art`> Well they're under general anaesthetic, I don't have to
talk to them.
#12244 [ + | - ] 140
<Olpainless|ChoresNCrap> D3ad - once when jehovahs came here,
i told em we were from church of satan
<D3adlode> and what happened?
<Olpainless> They just went. Quickly
#12232 [ + | - ] 193
<Konsole> I believe we both know the english language
equally.. I may not use it very well in day to day
conversations but I know much big words.
#12227 [ + | - ] 704
<@RuneCaster> hitting a 9 year old on a crosswalk is probably
bad for your driving record though
<@RuneCaster> all I remember was I was on my way to the arcade
to play TMNT
<@RuneCaster> and suddenly it was sky ground sky ground sky
ground sky ground sky ground pain
#12218 [ + | - ] 51
<@skold> needle hurt like hell
<phreaked> dude.. i've had braces caught into my lip
<@skold> he sews up the artery and starts going to work on my
arm
<@skold> wow jer i feel your pain
<@skold> anyhow
#12216 [ + | - ] 335
<@RT[Ragnarok]> meet me in the middle of the 2nd level of the
skeleton cave
<skold> I WANNA CAST MAGIC MISSILE
#12203 [ + | - ] 163
*** Joins: Xelix (gamin@k56-32.greene.xtn.net)
<Xelix> Greetings.
<Xelix> I am Dan, Jedi Knight.
<Xelix> I have come to discuss something with any of you.
<Xelix> I shall return at another time.
*** Parts: Xelix (gamin@k56-32.greene.xtn.net)
#12200 [ + | - ] 156
<@jade> i wanna jenny jones makeover
<@skold> 1-800-96-jenny?
<@jade> NOT JENNY CRAIG
#12196 [ + | - ] -253
<@Swanson> dude i got a dell
#12193 [ + | - ] 2045
<missing> a chick walks by, u wish u could sex her
<missing> but ya standin on the wall like u was poindexter!
<akaIDIOT> since when is sex a verb?
<corngrits> i had sex
<corngrits> isnt that a verb ?
<ceraph> no, thats a miracle
#12175 [ + | - ] 1735
<TC|crapping> I AM HOMOSEXUAL AND SHOULDN'T LEAVE MY STUPID
GAME LOGGED IN WHEN I GO TO THE RESTROOM.
<TC|crapping> Love, TC's wife.
#12173 [ + | - ] 627
<johnsmith> Ill sit at bars and write perl on my napkin until
girls are so thick around me I cant move my body
#12169 [ + | - ] 223
<Guyp> i want to join the red army and then kill the
capitalist snake!
<Guyp> hmmm
<Guyp> you cant join the russian army online :(
#12164 [ + | - ] 240
<Guyp> unreal uses the Super Mario Bros. engine
#12160 [ + | - ] 216
<Guyp> but now i should make a decision, should i go get the
gf4 or go to a l33t koala zoo :(
#12158 [ + | - ] 298
<Charion> hmm... lets see what other horrible ways might one
inflict pain and death on ones self. we've got ripping off
your own face disembowlment by belly button. any other ideas?
<BlakHawc> A simple one:  be run over, feet first, by a very
slow-moving steamroller.
<Jarp> Blak: And then you sorta bounce back up and grab a
compressed air tank and reinflate yourself and your false eyes
pop out?
<BlakHawc> Jarp:  Well, only if you're a toon.  Otherwise,
you're pretty much fucked.