<Fembot> Apple is co-branding a cpu line w/ Monty Python. it'll be called the "iFartinyourgeneraldirection"
<FooMashoo> i wear my pants backwards <Bryan> is that so the zipper is easier for your lover? <FooMashoo> yes
<Bender`> When i was little i took a bath with my dad and when he stood up from the tub his penis slapped me across the face
<Fryth> What is ".net"? Some kind of asp development standard? <Calrathan> Fryth, distributed computing solution by MS. <Calrathan> in otherwords... MS can disolve computers around the world with this stuff <Calrathan> [distributed computing SOLUTION... har har har]
<Calrathan> does it have something to do with Microsoft rerouting the traffic to go through their own version of Carnivore, called Omnivore? [it eats EVERYTHING! bwhahahaha]
<Kaltorak> every 7 out of 6 days is a bad day for my typing skils. <Kaltorak> oh my god.
<keithandmike-com> Just stop.. okay. Damnit, I hate you so much. You probably sit and write these down and just wait for me to join. Bastard. Eat corn poop. <Fembot> Mike joined the Navy and wanted to become a SEAL... there was something appealing about their creed to "never leave their buddy's behind"
<Fembot> weight is like a Mississippi marriage -- purely relative. <Fembot> mass is constant
<+shattersp1ne> hey i found out a way to abbreviate army <+shattersp1ne> rme <+shattersp1ne> i will make millions off of it
<carcoal> what's a good car? <carcoal> truck or sub <jitspoe> sumbarines are usually good cars, carcoal
<Blue> drunk girls are easier than programming <JC|WooWoo> blue just can't program
<RoyalBlood> hes like "my dad tells me all about cars cuz he downloads them from the internet" ... <RoyalBlood> i would have slapped him if i was closer * Fembot knows all about women 'cause he d/l's them off the Internet
<rastie> i teached my kid sister a good lesson <Murdock> I'm guessing it wasn't an english lesson..
<xbain> "statistics show that teen pregnancy significantly drops off after age 25"
<metroid23> wtf... i heard this kind of "knock" on my front door, i go to check and theres a dead squirrel on my NEIGHBORS porch O_o <ScumDog> does it look injured? <metroid23> its fucking dead <Gaffect> fell from a tree? <metroid23> hahaha, right, on the nearest tree (50 feet away) and then being projected 45 feet horizontally and then falling thru two stories of concrete :) <metroid23> poor guy
<Scythewz> my bed makes a nice punching bag <Zimbu> and at night, Scythewz's bed makes a nice diaper
<Mr-Ikari> X is being evil on my laptop :((( <adrian> you have to shake it to clear the screen
* Magellan_ narrows his eyes at greylark <Greylark> why me? <Magellan_> because you started it <Greylark> i didn't say anything about your imaginary girlfriend <Magellan_> SHES NOT IMAGINARY!
geekgirl [~M.E.Landr@68.113.207.136] has joined #megatokyo <TheRiff> "ill never sleep with another woman ive never met before again!" <geekgirl> Whoops <Mephisto> O.o <TheRiff> and then they realize they said woman and meant man, and rethink their whole life <TheRiff> since she has a mustache, its confusing <geekgirl> Now that is a weird conversation to come to.
<Pika-Screw> Did you ever want to kick Mario right in the pills and yell "That's for keeping Luigi in the shadows all these years, bitch!"?
<scabb> What's the difference between a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist? <MIiscool> I'm not sure, but I think the latter takes care of easier problems, which can be fixed with medication, while the former does the whole talking bit <scabb> So if they were Pokemon, Psychologist would evolve into Psychiatrist? <Twilo> wouldn't you need a diploma stone to do it? <Twilo> you have to trade psychiatrist to a different university for him to evolve
<nzc> actually <nzc> i need to msg quat <nzc> there we go <nzc> and <nzc> i have to eat <cj_> and <cj_> you have <cj_> to take off <cj_> your return key <cj_> and only <cj_> use it for <cj_> special occasions <cj_> like <cj_> when you finish <cj_> a sentence
<drunkers> is your real name gabe? <Gabe-33> yes <drunker> ever concider killing your parents with a shovel? <Gabe-33> no
<Storm> Ah shit theres a fire in the dorms <Storm> Guess I should leave, brb <Zekk> Hhmm.... that sucks <Storm> Whew, it got put out <Zekk> Everything OK? <Storm> Yea, we are thinking about starting another one to get all the chicks out there in their underwear again =P
<Shrapnull> It's not how the boat floats, or the size of the mast, but the motion of the ocean <Aduro> lol <Tiffy> haha <cryptonix> just hope your seamen don't have scurvey :D
<BloodNose> I'm actually going out for the weekend ... *gasp* <BloodNose> to spend a night ... <Blender13> woah <BloodNose> at a girls house *bigger gasp* <cryptonix> his aunts <BloodNose> lol <Blender13> lol <BloodNose> and like, I've never even met this girl before <Blender13> obviously his aunt <cryptonix> great aunt <Blender13> ah <BloodNose> apparently she's really fit and been offered a modeling job <cryptonix> hot great aunt <Blender13> and why the hell are you going there? <BloodNose> ok, brb ... I need to phone my uncle to see if it's alright with my aunt still
<endura> I like to get an idea of how easy itd be to get laid if I walked onto a campus in a gorilla suit with a giant banana as genitalia
<LynxCrR>You'd think if something were trivial you wouldn't fail at it. <UprightMan>Says Who? <UprightMan>You can make something 2000 times <UprightMan>and still mess up <UprightMan>Like, Ive peed a few hundred trillion times, but I still sometimes miss the toilet!
<RtWhO> oh shit the shower hurt me......I got in turned the water on, the water pressure is amazing, well anyways it knocked me down....I hurt my ass bone
<[Piratez]> so what kinda job you got? <drunkers> i wash dishes <[Piratez]> at a resturaunt? <drunkers> no, at home
<afhersn> I'm a trojan infected computer set to spam. I got this way because I went to a p0rn site someone messaged me. I'm an idiot. Find an IRCop and get me klined please!
<C-rEs:#slackware> isnt it recommended to keep ports apart? like you dont want to use port 1035 and 1036 at the same time?
<Wolf_> Oh shit, just realized i tasted my sperm during masturbation ! :D <CZ> Sick, how the hell did you managed do that ? <Wolf_> Well, uh, the pressure was so high...
<PowrSlave> Ah yes, everything I know I learned from Grand Theft Auto 3. For example, if I need a ride across town and there's a squad car nearby, I just punch the nearest old lady. When the cops get out of their vehicle to fight me, I steal the car. That gets me Warning Level 1, but all I have to do is hide in an alleyway for 30 seconds and the cops will forget all about me. Great learning tool.
<runedx2> the other day... my cat was in my lap.. and i was petting it. but then i realized there wasn't a cat in my lap. :(
<GrandTheftNintendo> wtf is an oligarchy <confusedd> a cross between a monopoly and an orge
<LaBOMBa> I forfeited a wrestling match to this dude becuase his name was Dick Harden
Wangtangs2 <AUTO-REPLY> : taking a dump ;) >:o PUSH!!! PRoGRaMMeRQ: I'm taking a screenshot of that and pasting that on my front website
<tbone22> today is my housemate's bday...what should i buy him...he just turned 23 <Dirge> a big fat penisdildo <tbone22> he's hetero <tbone22> (are there other kinda of dildos?)
<MaxPower> so I'm on this ftp site today <thammy> haha <thammy> that sounds like the beginning of a bad geek joke