<+Acksaw> how do you get 100 babies in a bucket? <+crank> 100? <+Acksaw> with a blender. <+crank> auch <+Acksaw> how do you get them back out? <+crank> i dunno <+Acksaw> with doritos
<nitekrawler> I was taking a piss, and my toliet suddenly flushes it self. <damageisking> maybe it was japanese <nitekrawler> I dont think toliets have ethnic races
<error27> Assertion: token is identifier of typedef or open "
(" of arg list of typedef'd pointer to function
<error27> programmers always wonder why people punch them in
the neck
<astrix> theres a little clip on the side of your drive <@KiNgDeeM|AFKish> jumpers <astrix> theres 3 options, master, slave and something else <@KiNgDeeM|AFKish> cable select <@Cyan> master, slave, and "likes to watch"
<Kirkburn> Shouldn't RCs be called Gamma? <Maldivia> in Microsoft's case: RC = Alpha, Release = Beta, Service Pack 1 = RC, Service Pack 2 = Release
<Erodice> 1 time last year we just had freezing rain and people where goin' 60-70 mps over the bridge form where i live to the main city New Bern. you never seen so many morons slipin' an' swervin' and wouldn't anyone slow down it was insane <Bligyith> On the fire department we call those return customers <Bligyith> ...well not really, but I do
<archaios> I WAS A VIRGIN TIL 21 <poonTheta> archaios i thought you are 20 :| <archaios> poonTheta: I am still a virgin <archaios> I expect to get laid next year
<skulk> why the hell is wrestling on the scifi channel? <skulk> that's like MTV playing music videos
Trev: dang baby did i tell u that u looked FINE today! Trev: u looked likea dime Trev: that was so sexy i just couldnt stand it Grace: thanks trevor, you're lying Trev: nooooo u were beautiful Grace: trevor I was absent today Trev: o
<dogs> we use IPv7 now <dogs> it's pretty much IPv6, but the headers contain porn <dogs> saves bandwidth
<Mulcibre> I just had a case of deja jew <Mulcibre> I'd swear I've seen this $20 bill somewhere before
<ehFk> so today in class Mr. Frank was like "Guys, turn to page 404...." <ehFk> me being a smartass say "Sir.... I can't find it" <ehFk> "Michael, It is page 404" <ehFk> "SIR! I CAN'T FIND IT!" <ehFk> I spent the next two minutes explaining to my class what 404 meant <ehFk> and they all looked at me like I was the biggest fucking nerd EVER <TheTik> wow... speechless.
<raven^> What do I chmod a directory with to make it accessable from the web?
<Folkomo> So in class today we were playing guesstures or password- one of those games you have to guess a word or phrase- my friend apparently got T.V., but I didn't know that. He got up and said "Back in my Grandma's days, these used to only be black and white." <Folkomo> I fucked up and said "water fountains" outloud. <Folkomo> ...thats why I got detention.
<stoertebeker> fleshlights make me want to puke <RifleEyes> you're not supposed to deepthroat them
<ToxicFrog> My gaming machine is running 2k at the moment, but I may have to downgrade to XP in the near future, or make it a dual boot. <LogiForce> Downgrade to XP ? :S <LogiForce> 2k is older then XP. It is called upgrading. <ToxicFrog> LogiForce: going from "bad" to "worse" is not an upgrade even if "worse" was released after "bad".
<SaintAlvus> I wrote a book on an object that lets you accelerate the passage of time. <Bean> What was it called? <SaintAlvus> Bong Mechanics
<karrde> i asked Windows to delete 36 000 files from a directory, and i ve already waited for 15 minutes and nothing resultes... <LoL> it is preparing 36 000 "are you sure?" windows
<TuorSirfalas> I tried using my sis's G5 powerbook or something <Cloud02> she has a mac? poor thing. <TuorSirfalas> she bought it for the logo <TuorSirfalas> her words, not mine
(+GamerTony) is it bad when you and your fiancee start eating the same things? (@arfer) if it's pussy, yes
<Andymc> lawl 156 photos on my phone... <Andymc> but i don't have a fuxxing way to get them onto the comp... need a bluetooth dock or summat <GriM> peel them off and re-apply glue? Perhaps a mild solvent to loosen the sticky? <Andymc> You should apply for a job at Dell...
<Ugarte> I think I was 12 at the time, and I was at this girl's house for some kind of party... I think her name was Kate. <Ugarte> Anyway, at some point she said she wanted to show me something, and brought me alone to her brother's room. She dug under his bed and took out a picture of a woman having sex with a dog. Then she kissed me. <Ugarte> I'm as confused about this now as I was then.
MasterH: They should make the entire world follow the same timezone. They could have like orbital mirrors which reflect the sun to every corner of the earth., MasterH: And have night at the same time. Faethyr: And nightime would happen How? MasterH: Turn off the mirorrs
<1> please tell me if there's any way to check if a table
exist in mysql database
<2> if (mysql_query('DROP TABLE table_name')) echo "table
existed";
<@CCFreak2K> Go down to your local Home Depot and ask for one. <%Zeraliten> No such thing as Home Depot in eurofag-land :( <@CCFreak2K> Then go to a Home...Gulag.
<@DemocracyDan> 5 votes to get kyhx banned! <@DemocracyDan> fine if you are all going to spit in the face of democracy by not voting we won't allow talking at all * DemocracyDan sets mode: +m * DemocracyDan is now known as NaziNorm <@NaziNorm> this is what happens when you don't allow your voices to be heard <@NaziNorm> they get taken away <@NaziNorm> think about that for awhile
<Holly> So I got my period, and i was bleeding, and my pad leaked <Jesse> Really? <Holly> Yeah, and it leaked everywhere! And so i had to go into the doctors, and they had to shave my vagina, it wasnt good <Jesse> Wow, i cant believe youre telling me this <Holly> Well...its just girl talk <Jesse> Jesse is a guy's name too
<Green> So I got in my car <Green> and there was birdshit on my windsheild <Green> so i got a paper towel and got out to wipe it off <Green> but it wouldn't come off <Green> and thats when I realized it was on the INSIDE <Green> I had a hard time getting to sleep that night
<VFR8> Omg <VFR8> I was driving home today and I saw the best license plate <VFR8> 56K SRY
<^zauberer> I do not speak the english well but I will use a translator <Xanpony> Sure, I understand :) <^zauberer> :) <^zauberer> you are of which pay <Xanpony> Okey, there is problems with your translator :(
<shwS> I have 1½ pack left.. after that, I'm smoking. <pu_ma> okay... <shwS> I'm quitting*
<Jimmothy> i have girl hands <Jimmothy> and nice nails to match <@D1> the better to handle my ballz <Jimmothy> anyone can hold peanuts D1 <@D1> ;[
<theGaurav x45> yo i got <theGaurav x45> Microsoft Office 2007 <theGaurav x45> greatest thing ever invented <theGaurav x45> so amazing <theGaurav x45> it took me 15 minutes to find spellcheck <theGaurav x45> but still <theGaurav x45> amazing
<+maaneeack> and I can't get off 56k if there is nothing else <+maaneeack> 56k, or yelling, and there is waaaay too much packet loss and downtime on yelling <acquacow> that's what I tried to tell my mom <acquacow> so I moved out <acquacow> we now communicate digitally <acquacow> and with the right spam filter <acquacow> I hear nothing at all.
<Phyxius> Hmm there are some black people hanging around outside the gates at the end of my driveway, brb <Courtney> mkay hb <Phyxius> HOLY SHIT THEYRE GONE <Courtney> The black people? <Phyxius> NO, MY GATES
<NerdyScientist7> Okay, I'm taking a survey, want to be in it? <bigone> sure <NerdyScientist7> Here's the question: How stupid are you? <bigone> what do u mean <NerdyScientist7> Thanks for your input.
<Golden> Am I the only one who thinks Dead Rising could be the easiest Video Game to Porno transfer? <Golden> The three main characters are a black guy, a hot blonde chick and a photographer <Golden> And they're stuck in a mall with zombies so they can't escape <Golden> Eventually someone is going to have a cock in their ass while the hairy guy takes pictures of it
< Vice> if paris hilton came and wanted sex.. i think i just might have to concede.. < Vice> cos you never know < Vice> she might have one of those "the millionth customer gets a special prize" campaigne going on..
<SierraSonic> the internet is made up of 3 things <SierraSonic> 99.9% porn <SierraSonic> .1% violence <Crash2> and 0% of? <Marcx> 0% intellect
<Mewrr> reminds me back when I was writing reviews of soccer matches on the web <Mewrr> and going through access logs, I saw that some reviews were orders of magnitude more popular <Mewrr> eventually it occurred to me that Switzerland has a Pro Soccer team named "Young Boys" <Mewrr> turns out they have many followers worldwide <dmacks> I bet <Mewrr> to make things even funnier, the Young Boys play in a stadium called "Wankdorf"
disturbed c0w: but jesus disturbed c0w: how can you read all of bash disturbed c0w: thats like reading the dictionary except cock is in there a lot of times
<catnip> I saw this hot azn grrrrl today <catnip> totally doable in many ways, none of which are the way that God intended <Crispy`> Well, that doesn't leave lots of room. <Crispy`> I mean, minus making your own hole and fucking it, every orifice is fair play.
Swift: top ten things I have to do before I die Swift: one is to donkey punch a giant squid in the eye X_Stickman: That should probably be last on the list
Lannister> they should make shock diapers that detect moisture and electocute babies.
<wesleymason> The handwriting on these card envelopes look like they've been written by a retarded 6yr old Basque speaker who's learnt English off a box Engrish-translated Japanese sweets. <wesleymason> In a hurry. <wesleymason> During a storm. <wesleymason> At night.
<grr rapture> this is so gross <grr rapture> my friend was having sex with this girl and halfway through he realized she was on her peiod, but he finished up anyway <yadrisil> just like bush in iraq <grr rapture> ? <yadrisil> he doesn't know when to pull out of a bloody mess
ductape4yoursoul: the hot Ukranian went to an In Flames concert Sunday and got molested by some chick. SupremeGeekBeing: ? SupremeGeekBeing: is that some kind of code SupremeGeekBeing: the flying bacon lands in moswll park at 5? ductape4yoursoul: no, dude. The hot ukranian I met in Chicago. She went to an In Flames concert and was molested by some chick SupremeGeekBeing: oh, the pink elephant runs into a shallow well
<bluechip> so <bluechip> apparently my younger sister <bluechip> learning to drive <bluechip> does not actually look behind her <bluechip> when she backs up <bluechip> or check any of her mirrors <bluechip> so now, instead of having two separate cars <bluechip> we have one.. big car
<HappyDude> ARGH, I think the definition of 'bad timing' happened to me today <HappyDude> I was sitting there watching a porn vid <HappyDude> And it was just a naked girl in a spa <HappyDude> Then, 3 things happened all at the same time.... <HappyDude> 1) I cum everywhere <HappyDude> 2) My mum walks in <HappyDude> 3) The "girl" stands up to reveal "she" has a huge cock.