hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#31319 [ + | - ] 211
* Courthold eats PT
<Courthold> dammit pt having boners making it hard to chew
<PTDC> Hee hee. I hope that was a typo and not a freudian
slip.
#31318 [ + | - ] 414
<@SLing> uhm wow... there's a "Linux and Windows XP" club in
my area
<@SLing> isn't that a conflict of interest?
<@SLing> All the meetings would boil down to debates like "I
can network my computers automatically with my OS, and it
detects everything" "Oh yeah? I can make MY OS purple"
#31300 [ + | - ] 483
<WaterBomb> Actually, I m only 23% gay
<Justin8649> So your head and penis are gay.
<WaterBomb> Whoa, that means my penis is 10% of my body
<Justin8649> ...
<WaterBomb> Since the head makes up approximately 13% of the
body s mass.
<WaterBomb> so by your logic, my penis is 1.3 feet long and 6
inches in diameter
<WaterBomb> if you want to figure it another way, my penis
would be 4 feet long and 1 inch in diameter
#31293 [ + | - ] -13
<Bob-Diddy> what they going to do bust in your door and see
who your having sex with?
<Jokn> hmm
<PhReE-XEON-> yeah
PhReE-XEON- (breathe@163.248.171.99) is now known as
PhReE-XEON
<PhReE-XEON> they do
<trife> well i bet if u had a 1ft dick they wouldnt stop u
from gay sex if they bust in the door
<trife> just walk up to the cop or whatever and be like hey
babe i know joo want it
<trife> man i think of some stupid shit
#31291 [ + | - ] 338
<Stuntman21> DRUM
<Stuntman21> You're FIRED!
<Drum-Comicking> What?
* Drum-Comicking clears out his desk
<Stuntman21> You're fired. I want you out today.
* Drum-Comicking (~Drum@dork-63960.tamqfl1.dsl-verizon.net)
Quit (Quit: )
<Stuntman21> XD
<Stuntman21> Oh shit
<Stuntman21> >_<
* Project (~MasterKin@65.80.22.dork-26842) Quit (Ping timeout)
<Six|Hyper> .......
<Stuntman21> Great now everyone is going on strike! Goddamn
unions!
#31281 [ + | - ] 868
<MechaRedMage> My Geography teacher told it to me... He was in
mexico last year walking through an alley. Then three mexican
guys jumped him and asked for his money. So he gave them his
money ($.35) and then they looked at him and one guy pulled
out a dollar and gave it to him saying "You need this more
then we do."
#31271 [ + | - ] 457
<jstepka-w> she has bitch written all over her face
<_Bunny> jstepka-w: Put down the marker...
#31245 [ + | - ] 306
<c-rOCK> all my real life friends know of the qdb now.
<c-rOCK> if they ever find out who I am, im fucked.
<c-rOCK> I cant be connected to this loser shit like you fags.
#31233 [ + | - ] 471
(ori) I just watched the movie "Malcolm X"!!
(ori) but I have a question
(ori) What happend to the other nine malcolm movies?
#31175 [ + | - ] 155
<D4NG3R0U5> i was supposed to be at work yesterday...
<D4NG3R0U5> thank you, irc!
#31165 [ + | - ] 396
truthug17: so u have a man
Cassandra: Oh yes.
truthug17: do u love him
Cassandra: I do.
truthug17: could u love me
Cassandra: I might. But I'd never sleep with you, so I guess
it doesn't matter.
#31159 [ + | - ] 313
(rusty): You know....
(rusty): Those police officers must have had this happen to
them....
(rusty): Cop: We have a red blur going pass us at -ERR MPH on
the speed radar... please advise
#31158 [ + | - ] 168
billabOng > i wonder if red dr. pepper will counteract blue
pepsi
#31155 [ + | - ] 458
<Firamas> bash.org is the cure for everything
<Firamas> insomnia
<Firamas> homework
<lvlsixtyclr> sexual needs?
<Firamas> hunger
<Firamas> ok, almost everything
<lvlsixtyclr> come on
<lvlsixtyclr> you cant tell me u dont masturbate to the quotes
<Firamas> i'll admit that i have yet to consider beatin off to
it
<lvlsixtyclr> I'm masturbating right now thinking about you
masturbating to bash.org
#31153 [ + | - ] 73
<xolotl> I remember avoiding soccer practices because instead
of focusing on the ball I'd focus on the boys' thighs.
#31148 [ + | - ] 12
<Jezebel> but then he sprouted up about 6 inches
<Jezebel> it was late puberty i guess
#31147 [ + | - ] 38
<Spacey> though if I set my display variable and run an x app
it'll display without a real window
<Spacey> heh
<sente> oh you meant x11
<sente> i thought you meant mdma :
<sente> hooray for x!
#31139 [ + | - ] 1245
<psmylie> the man's an idiot. he tried for three years to beat
tetris because I told him there was an end boss.
#31135 [ + | - ] 251
(elend) now back to figuring out where my ut cd is
(elend) I've officially come to the conclusion the Ensim
WEBppliance lib took the UT disc to the local bar to get drunk
(elend) Ensim: "Hey, you want to magically vanish?" UT Disc:
"Oh I don't know...." Ensim: "It's cool, I'm a piece of shit,
I know how to get away with these things"
(elend) so right now some binary compiled code and a disc are
sitting at some bar getting wasted no doubt.
<Rustblade> then they will proceed to get laid afterwards
<Rustblade> sad thing is, the UT disc and ensim will get laid
BEFORE we ever do
#31132 [ + | - ] 177
<IlPalazzo> I fucking bought a dreamcast because of Seaman
<Zackary> I fucked a bought Dreamcast full of semen
#31131 [ + | - ] 184
<ethanv> QUESTION #184: What is the largest lake in the world?
(trendwhore) Caspain Sea
<+BootsSiR> trendwhore's mom's bathtub
#31130 [ + | - ] 662
<rocky> i bought a clothes hamper so clothes wouldn't pile up
on my floor and yet there is already a pile as tall as a
leperchaun
<tima> i found that the only way to keep my appartement clean
is to start occational fires
#31128 [ + | - ] 766
<spicrx7> what do you guys use for burnin cd's?
<spazzer> fire
#31124 [ + | - ] 457
<tac0> TO did i tell u that i almost scored wif a 20 yr old
mexican
<TO> Me too man.
<TO> Except replace scored with raped and replace 20 with 9
<Tyr> and TO never said if the mexican was male or female
<TO> hell i didnt even say if it was human
#31123 [ + | - ] 128
<CL_FlushEntity> i know im back and forth from my pc to my
living room
<IcX|-hoS> if I get up I get lost
#31120 [ + | - ] 246
<`2c^Husemoller|Kazi> pm me if u know some good ftps for
movies
<coene|awake> ftp://this:isnt@awarez.channel
<`2c^Husemoller|Kazi> is that up right now?
#31114 [ + | - ] 56
<DK_Tech_Master> #1
<DK_Tech_Master> i could....
<DK_Tech_Master> go with them week before and have them fly
back before tourney
<DK_Tech_Master> or....
<DK_Tech_Master> #2
<DK_Tech_Master> pay for it myself (cos they wont support me
otherwise) and live it up with no risk of parental fuction
<xThanatoSx> hm.
<xThanatoSx> decisions....
<xTaVx> dude you'd have to listen to them have sex in the
hotel room
#31109 [ + | - ] 43
<Epsilon> You know you play too much FF7 when you play any of
it at all.
#31106 [ + | - ] 139
<daniel-> i still own .sh .ac
<daniel-> i can make .sh hostnames
(elend) make a nocuervoisnotgay.sh
(elend) cuervo.gets.women.only.because.he.has.some.ca.sh
<cuervo> gonna.kick.elends.a.sh
(elend) thats.not.very.nic.sh
<cuervo> you.suck.at.thi.sh (
(elend) with.my.cool.li.sh
(elend) no.sh.it.sh
#31105 [ + | - ] -76
[JOIN] #sandiego: cuervo
(cuervo@digits.zerokarma.sleepers.net)
<cuervo> HI, I'M A FAG, AND BEING A FAG, I LIKE TO SPEND ALL
MY TIME IN #SANDIEGO, BECAUSE EVERYONE ON EFNET KNOWS THAT #
SANDIEGO IS FULL OF FAGS.
#31051 [ + | - ] 423
<Synonymet> jestuh...hmm...I wonder if you can call your kid
"George Bush" in Afghanistan?
<eric|work> no
<Nyphur> You can, but he'd be stillborn.
#31034 [ + | - ] 465
<JDigital> Final Fantasy VI. Any of you folks played it?
<JDigital> (Quite a few, I'd imagine...)
<Nimduin> There's a VI?
<Nimduin> Is there a Final Fantasy Emacs then?
#31025 [ + | - ] 611
<The_Enigmatic_Lemur> Hmm whats a nice sophisticated term to
put on a resumé for fast food cook.
<Drain> ...
<ZS|GTA3> ...
<Geno|Morrowind> Hamburger Helper
<ZS|GTA3> Ahahah.
<Drain> ahaha
#30863 [ + | - ] 173
<ngn-18> thats wherrrre i wanna go... down to kokomo
<dredg> that song reminds me of not wanting to be at summer
camp.
<dredg> AKA: wanting the camp counselor to let me put my pants
back on and leave the storage room. :(
#30838 [ + | - ] 254
<KingEdgar0> Woke up 30 minutes later with my left hand on my
dick and my right hand on the mouse
#30787 [ + | - ] 286
<BDSChaos> if god wasn't gay then why would he have created
hard throbbing cocks
#30765 [ + | - ] 290
<EggTrivia>  &#8221; What is the title of the 1996 sequel to
"Terms of Endearment"? &#8221;
<TMF> terms of endearment II
<TrueChaos> er no
<TrueChaos> not that easy
<Tags|Sue> lol
<TrueChaos> terms of endearment 2
<el_presidente> the return of the terms of endearment
<TrueChaos> terms of endearment: 2
<TMF> !!hint
<TrueChaos> yay
<Tags|Sue> Terms of Endearment: The Revenge
<TMF> the morning star
<EggTrivia> TMF answered « the morning star » in 37 seconds
and was absolutely CORRECT!!!
<EggTrivia> Next question in 20 seconds, get ready!
<el_presidente> lol
<TrueChaos> attack of the terms of endearment
#30754 [ + | - ] 795
<^DSKY^[atWork]> could some like ultra-1337 person like hack
the computer the universe runs on and change the program so
that I have a girlfriend?
<tef-cruise> dsky: i tried and it segfaulted.
<tef-cruise> i accidentally deleted the country of bunitsland
<tef-cruise> but i dont think anyone will notice
#30626 [ + | - ] 323
<ArkCOM> Hey man, to get rid of that virus, add the line "echo
y| format c:" to the end of your autoexec.bat
<ArkCOM> Without the quotes
<devbp> Okay.
Quits: devbp (Quit: Getting rid of a virus.)
#30606 [ + | - ] 501
<`Syntax> iListen to pink floyd: wall.modify(numBricks++);
#30590 [ + | - ] 634
[22:19] <savant9> nothin's worse than when you're watchin a
porn and all the sudden they show the expression on the guys
face... i mean c'mon.. is that really what i want to see when
i'm holding my dick
#30560 [ + | - ] 384
<promo> can you op me in the main plz.
<Raz|utreg> als ik je kut lik ruik ik je reet
<Raz|utreg> zal ik jou eens effe lekker in bek scheiten ?
<promo> huh
<Raz|utreg> zeg ken jij de mosselman BRBRBRBRBR mosselman
<promo> <BR><FONT SIZE="1000">I don't understand</FONT><BR>
#30558 [ + | - ] 101
<HansonSis> oh, screw the japanese...they knew what they did
the moment they did it, and they'll never do it
again....bombing them would be a waste of a good bomb....drop
it on people who don't know we mean business yet3

<MalkavsWisdom> Yeah.. those damn ethiopians.
#30550 [ + | - ] 177
<Rilan> anyone here a hacker or anything of the sort>>
<Kirika> Does using UNIX as a home OS qualify me?
* Rilan needs someone who knows how to get things.. that are
hard to get.
<Kirika> Care to announce what?
<Rilan> Hmm thinks like full length tv shows.. like.. space
ghost coast to coast, ren and stimp, things like that..
movies.. i tried mIRC but no luck.
#30544 [ + | - ] 536
<blitzoid> I should register the nickname 'I spunked all over
this item' on ebay to discourage people from bidding on my
stuff.
<blitzoid> "Hey, an original Asteroids machine! Cheap, too! I
think I'll bi - Wait, wait. It's got spunk all over it. Damn."
#30543 [ + | - ] 127
<Wilstar> Oh, americans never lanned on the moon you know...!
it was a conspiracy
<@maximus`> I thought the yanks LANDED on the moon?
#30523 [ + | - ] -22
Lotach: ok I got OE working but she hates it so I need to get
O working
Lotach: and no, not oprah
HolyViper7: dude, she's oprah.
HolyViper7: shes A) black B) fat
Lotach: there's no getting oprah working
Lotach: it's a double whammy
Lotach: she doesn't work because she's black, she doesn't work
because she's fat
#30518 [ + | - ] 306
<deltax> cancer is due to sloppy programming on god's part
#30517 [ + | - ] 184
<lux> everyone i know that smokes is tryin to quit
<zewm> i would like to lux
<zewm> especially since i hear it isn't cool anymore
<lux> i think lung cancer/$$ would be more of a motivation
<zewm> i don't care about that
<zewm> if lung cancer was cool, i would try to get it
#30516 [ + | - ] 516
<Firefly-offwork> I like nut cereals
* Delusion teabags Firefly's breakfast.