hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#34741 [ + | - ] 130
<Nyphur> Everything I say is a lie.
<Nyphur> I AM COMPULSIVE LIAR!
<CWGerard> Oh no, what to believe!!!
<CWGerard> I ARE BORK!  DOWNLOAD TEH PATCH!
#34720 [ + | - ] 559
<abs> shit
<abs> my mom fell down the stairs
<abs> brb
#34718 [ + | - ] 296
<Kube> lots of girls like me
<Kube> well
<Kube> one
#34707 [ + | - ] 1231
<morah> I MADE A VOODOO DOLL
* morah stabs Vireo in the eye
...
* Vireo (sverreba@so817.hig.no) Quit (Dead socket)
#34705 [ + | - ] 15
<Loki> zig, tell me where you live so i can kill you
#34694 [ + | - ] 2176
<`Frieza> dont you get it! I have a giant Brain that is
capable of reduceing anything down to a yes or no question.
<bUdDyLeE> LOL `Frieza I don't think that's how it's supposed
to work
<bUdDyLeE> watch
<bUdDyLeE> What is the meaning of life?
<`Frieza> yes
<bUdDyLeE> elaborate
<`Frieza> no
<bUdDyLeE> fair enough.
#34688 [ + | - ] 258
<@sumppi> "A consultant is a man who knows 99 ways to make
love but doesn't know any women"
#34686 [ + | - ] 644
<Hypr> i heard theres a mexican equvalent of warez called
juarez
#34683 [ + | - ] 645
<Tweeder> dude, i was listning to a celine dion cd, and i
pulled up to a toll booth, and the guy called me a fag. >:|
#34679 [ + | - ] 228
<eViL_fOoTwEaR> Now. Do you know what nickserv is?
<slsc83jvc03> nickserv is somthing that is mean to people for
no reason
#34675 [ + | - ] 304
<gh5046> Mokey: How big are your boobs?
<Mokey> 38 aa
<gh5046> yo baby, you're shaped like an overweight 13 year-old
<Mokey> yep
<Mokey> that's me.
<gh5046> that so made me seem like an asshole
#34669 [ + | - ] 181
[BiC]: i got a jobb! woohoo!
[x-im]: sw33t dude :) what kinda job?
[BiC]: warehouse-thingie-kinda job... :P
[Nemesis]: my job is living, and the payment is the job itself
;]
[x-im]: your getting rippedoff pal, go talk to the union.
#34668 [ + | - ] 143
* Erve remembers a certain bi person saying WhiteyFord was teh
goods
<Rik> was he a kitchen storage product?
<WhiteyFord> no, it was Revenge's wife
<DDsD_EsaY> *chuckle*
<DDsD_EsaY> you sex up Revenges wife?
<WhiteyFord> id hit it
<DDsD_EsaY> but you didnt.. why?
<WhiteyFord> Revenge
#34667 [ + | - ] 163
<Sticks> I'm always constantly mortified [no pun intended] at
the continual degredation of people grammer and spelling on
the net...
#34665 [ + | - ] 387
*** ubermensch- is now known as peer
<peer> DIE POOFSTER
*** Quits: Poofster (Solo84@202.151.232.16) (Read error:
Connection reset by peer)
#34663 [ + | - ] 570
<RushMore> Shit, i was in physics and near shit myself
<RushMore> THe place went black, and i thought i crashed
<RushMore> THEN a light came on, and i saw a ball dropping,
but it was only at like 8fps
<RushMore> I thought "Shit, i need a new graphics card"
<RushMore> Then i found out, the teacher turned out all the
lights, put on a strobe light at 8flashes/s and dropped a ball
so you could see its accelleration
<RushMore> Dickhead.
#34662 [ + | - ] 1493
(TRANCEBOY) But i'm joining the reserves.
(TRANCEBOY) Airborne Infantry
(^BiAnCoOcH^) really so da airforce in other words
(TRANCEBOY) No not the airforce,
(TRANCEBOY) Airforce is flying F16 jets etc.
(TRANCEBOY) Airborne infantry is ground combat deployed from
black hawks, hueys, chinooks,
(^BiAnCoOcH^) hmmm ok den caause i understood dat but n e way
(TRANCEBOY) Ok Bianca, i'll put it in your terms.
(TRANCEBOY) Me and Cletus run around dem bushes looking for
dem charlies and we's get put there by those dang cars with
wings ya hear?
#34660 [ + | - ] 90
<DentArthur> i took it a step further with the super glue in
mouth incident :)
<milenko17> DentArthur: it could be worse you could superglue
your foreskin together
<DentArthur> milenko17: it'd keep my KB cleaner :)
#34657 [ + | - ] 124
<DrNick668> i'd have a bad attitude too if someone put
somethin big and round in my mouth and stretched it
#34656 [ + | - ] 202
<+Psyko> I'm gonna go hump the couch
<+Psyko> ~*boredom*~
<+Yamatto> dude, your couch puts out?
<+Psyko> wall too
<+Yamatto> damn
<+Yamatto> i want your house
<+Yamatto> unless you're like swapping wall for "mom"
<+Andaru> hahaha
<+Andaru> and couch for "little brother"
#34648 [ + | - ] 1453
<hailz_b> pepsi is gayyyyyyy
<hailz_b> gayyyyyyyy
<hailz_b> give me cock anyday
<hailz_b> i mean coke!
#34644 [ + | - ] 29
<jay123> i only do fat chicks , their chunky but their funky
#34616 [ + | - ] 659
<AEternus> my stomach is undergoing disasters unnamed at the
moment
<AEternus> but you can't say no to the grandparents
<BlahFromStone> Yeah...
<BlahFromStone> Who can resist a nice, juicy plate of
grandparents.
#34603 [ + | - ] 11
<miv> i'm gona take a nap
<miv> i'll dedicate this nap to all the hoes in japan
<miv> all the 10-14 yearolds
#34602 [ + | - ] 1520
TECC:  |:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|
TECC:  oops, soz.  wrong window.
Fuhrur:  why in the fuck would you type that to anyone?
#34555 [ + | - ] 427
<@xZaratustra> ADVENTURE IS THE BEST GAME EVER
<@Brentai> NO PITFALL IS
<Xerox> Statbuilder!
<Nyphur> NOTEPAD!
#34553 [ + | - ] 36
<mindstorms> i so l33t.....i combined my radio and computer
output to my speakers
<mindstorms> so now my head hurts when i have the radio and
winamp on!
#34551 [ + | - ] 34
<Averox> and I'm about to shove my fist through someone's
head. Begins with an "L" and ends with a "ordship"
#34542 [ + | - ] 721
[-=VU=-] i wish i had enough space to breakdance :(
[XwHR] delete some stuff
#34540 [ + | - ] -4
this is from #guitar on DALnet, G/F is a guitar chord for all
you who may not know.

<Cosmorpheus> he
<Cosmorpheus> y
<crudelydrawnspiral> well said cosmo
<Cosmorpheus> fingering for a G/F anyone?
<AussieAusbourne> i finger my girlfriend
<washcloth-nj> pull her panties down, thats number
<washcloth-nj> 1
<Cosmorpheus> funny
#34539 [ + | - ] -39
<davie>My friend is in jail because he wanted to make his
parents mad. so he fingered his 5 year old sister  and she
told the doctor. he's 13 and she a prostitue.
<aidman923>blimey.
#34538 [ + | - ] 252
* Joins: DanVanNinja
<beej> jesus christ
<beej> i need to get laid
<beej> i looked at dan's name and saw "DanVaGina"
#34535 [ + | - ] 649
<Match> ic
<Kayin> dont say ic. its unbecoming
<Match> i know. sorry
<H4Z3> why is it unbecoming?
<Match> we just learned about this in english. if you say
things like i see and yup, it makes you seem passive
<Kayin> as if you're uninterested in the conversation
<H4Z3> ic
<Match> jerk
#34534 [ + | - ] 794
<Zer0-kewl> and in network properties i'm static on
192.168.1.30
<Prem0> thats why
<Prem0> ass
<Prem0> your ip is too high
<Prem0> cant go above 255
<Zer0-kewl> too high?  wtf?
<Prem0> your at 300
<Zer0-kewl> Thirty
<Prem0> if U wanted 30 it should be 192.168.1.030
<Killeroy> wtf?
<Killeroy> lemme quote that on bash.org :)
<Prem0> remember it adds 0's to the end
<Prem0> lol
<Zer0-kewl> since when?
<Prem0> since forever
<Prem0> thats tcp/ip brother
<Zer0-kewl> if it thought my IP was 300...i doubt i woudl be
talking to you hear.
<Prem0> change it to .030 and then try it
<Killeroy> prem0, don't make it worse for you...
#34531 [ + | - ] 196
<nxn> best thing to do while high is wank
<nxn> best thing to do any time is wank
<nxn> actually not when you catch your mom masterbating... but
close to any time
#34530 [ + | - ] 371
<Kazimierz> Dick Van Dyke
<Kazimierz> rulez j00
<nkrn> D:
<AeroBob> Indeed.
<AeroBob> D'you know that's not his real name?
<AeroBob> It used to be 'Penis van Lesbian' until he changed
it 'cause he thought it wasn't suitable for showbusiness.
#34529 [ + | - ] 427
<BigMilla2> but no I haven't done anything with my cousin
<BigMilla2> except for giving her a hug
<pj325is> and talk to her about sex
<Cruzn15> was that an arrousing hug?
<BigMilla2> oh yes!!!
<BigMilla2> I popped a 12 incher
<BigMilla2> and then we had sex in the trailer
<BigMilla2> and my sister got in on it too
<StealthBuddha> hell yeah
<Cruzn15> Now entering Alabama.
#34528 [ + | - ] 173
<pj325is> did you get a boner when your cousin told you about
her lesbian experiences?
<BigMilla2> no
<pj325is> ok then
<pj325is> *coughliarcough*
<Cruzn15> are you impitant?
<pj325is> impotent
<StealthBuddha> important?
#34527 [ + | - ] 139
<IRON> I have the match of Brithish Bulldog vs Own hart in
germany
<KrazyIvan> how'd you get so lucky?
<KrazyIvan> I've always wanted to download videos of men in
tight lycra pretending to slap each other
#34526 [ + | - ] 320
[+Mr_Day]: Santa Claus, now he's real. At least, that's what
they call the pervert around here, who masturbates on
rooftops. He comes down chimneys.
#34520 [ + | - ] 268
<@toe2toe> only time a user has ever cried with me was when
she had zonealarm set to ultra-annoy-user-at-every-oppurtunity
mode on
<@toe2toe> and basically, her nortons was so locked down
<@toe2toe> everytime she tried to get her mail
<@toe2toe> and our server tried to send it to her
<@toe2toe> she thought she was getting hacked
<@Starfire> the best option i have found in ZA configs is the
uninstall one
<@toe2toe> and when i told her she wasnt, she thought that
some people are harrasing her, and demanded to know why i
refused to call the police about it :>
<@Starfire> because its not your job to call the police
<@Starfire> i would have given her police number
<@Starfire> and told her to follow it up post haste!
<@toe2toe> and say what
<@toe2toe> "hi, im getting hacked on my computer from a guy
called "local host"
#34518 [ + | - ] 116
Slaine^ (_darkslay@xxx) Quit (Along a great power comes great
responsibility...this is my gift and my curse)
Slaine^ (_darkslay@xxx) has joined #dransik
<Argantonis> Slaine^!
<Argantonis> your quit message has been annoying me for weeks
now
<Argantonis> get it right already
<Argantonis> how on earth did you make up "along a great
power" ?
<hoxu> :D
<Slaine^> o.O
<Slaine^> dunno:)
<Slaine^> does it mean something?
<Argantonis> no
<Argantonis> if you are referring to spiderman, it is With
great power
<Slaine^> oh...that's good:b
<hoxu> hahah :D
<Argantonis> I'm dead serious
<Argantonis> :)
<Slaine^> ok i changed it
<Argantonis> good :)
<Slaine^> i'll show you
*** Slaine^ (_darkslay@xxx) Quit ([16:02:17] <@Argantonis> how
on earth did you make up "along a great power" ?)
*** Slaine^ (_darkslay@xxx) has joined #dransik
<Argantonis> lol
#34512 [ + | - ] 35
<helpmemor> which port that ping used?
#34510 [ + | - ] 834
*** skwerrel (skwer@rn-reclta106.uwaterloo.ca) has joined #3fs
<skwerrel> wtf??
<skwerrel> is this the nap room?
<skwerrel> everyone's asleep
<skwerrel> yeah, I know what you mean...
<skwerrel> so, how's life skwerrel?
<skwerrel> meh...not bad.  Didn't do as well as I thought I
would on my econ exam, but there's still two more so I'm not
that worried
<skwerrel> sorry to hear it, buddy.  good luck on your other
ones
<skwerrel> thanks guy
<skwerrel> wanna cyber?
<skwerrel> um..no thanks
<skwerrel> *sniff*oh...
<skwerrel> it's not you...i, uhh...have a blister on my palm
<skwerrel> sure, whatever
*** skwerrel (skwer@rn-reclta106.uwaterloo.ca) Quit (Client
Exit: PH34R T3H P13)
#34508 [ + | - ] 198
Lilmuckers- did someone say lesbians
c99koder- haha
Wrecked_Em- lil: not yet o_0
Lilmuckers- lol
Lilmuckers is disappointed
Wrecked_Em will slowly lead to the topic of lesbains
Wrecked_Em- so...fish
Lilmuckers- dolphins eat fish
crt0- lesbians ...
Lilmuckers- dolphins can have sex for fun
Wrecked_Em- in maniac mansion muff diver got sensored for tuna
diver
Lilmuckers- therefore lesbian dolphins must exist
Wrecked_Em- ...what do you think about the muff diving?
crt0- -_-
Lilmuckers thinks about lesbians
crt0 does too
Wrecked_Em thinks about dolphins
#34507 [ + | - ] 62
Pron_Czar_Mike- inner city broadband is silly, like a
crackhead mom with 6 kids can afford it, get it out to us
middle class rural people first you bastards!
#34502 [ + | - ] 145
_absent_- is this in the land of delayed puberty or something?
#34500 [ + | - ] 120
*Lilmuckers is the official sega ho
*Lilmuckers has official sega ho powers
*Heroin_Bob is the official Sega Pimp
*Heroin_Bob slaps lil
Heroin_Bob- get back to work ho!
#34497 [ + | - ] 39
KoF_H2BH- did you help the vertically challenged person?
KoR_H2BH- personally I would have helped...and mugged the 10
year olds of their pokemon cards ö_ö
#34493 [ + | - ] 39
crt0- sex criminal?
crt0- oh smooth criminal
crt0- nevermind