hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21117 Approved Quotes | 3 in Moderation Queue
#36499 [ + | - ] 155
þþ joins [THE_HAT (*!rapta@dp-3391.sc.rr.com)]
[THE_HAT] Sup
(dosdemon_) ...
[THE_HAT] ...
[THE_HAT] cant i just say sup?
[THE_HAT] sup == whats up
(dosdemon_) nuttin dawg sup wit choo chit nigga got any fly
tip on ya.
(dosdemon_) chit
(dosdemon_) well slap muh fro
[THE_HAT] lol
(dosdemon_) dese honky muthafuckas aint nevah seen a 14 inch
diack befoo
(dosdemon_) chit
[THE_HAT] nice little server you got going
þþ parts [THE_HAT (*!rapta@dp-3391.sc.rr.com(THE_HAT))]
(dosdemon_) straight up.
#36491 [ + | - ] 256
<Doctor_Vamp> damnit!!
<Doctor_Vamp> i got an orange dick
<Doctor_Vamp> i shouldn't eat doritos and masturbate
#36490 [ + | - ] 347
<aphr0> Type "incest rape" into the Google search engine, for
example, and the first result is for the Rape, Abuse and
Incest National Network (RAINN), a Washington nonprofit that
aids sexual assault victims. The second result is for
brutalextreme.com, which advertises its content as stories,
pictures and videos of the "most violent rapes in the history
of mankind."
<aphr0> is it wrong to laugh?
<Hawkeye^> no
<aphr0> k
<aphr0> then I'm clear
#36489 [ + | - ] 701
<Edge> Sense we're going to be using all the correct grammer
and everything.
<Jon> Since.
<Edge> Sense
<Jon> And the word is grammar.
<Edge> Since isn't a word
#36488 [ + | - ] 104
<Tweak> did i tell you splits?
<Tweak> i am a camp counslor
<Tweak> for 5th graders
<boysplitter> !!!
<boysplitter> CAN I COME TOO!!??
#36478 [ + | - ] 279
<_mrG> teh fuck are cam girls?
<@santa|> trashy white whores that put their lives on grainy
webcams
<pagnaet> underage porn sites
<mcsuede> jesus you people live in a bubble
<@santa|> no, we just dont visit the trash of the internet
<mcsuede> are you kidding?  you're on irc
#36476 [ + | - ] 484
<trekkie47> u know how my bros comp is the same room as mine
right ?
<jbean> yeah
<trekkie47> well my bro was dling pr0n on his computer
<trekkie47> and he just fuckin left the downloads to go and
went to a friends
<trekkie47> then dad went on his computer
<jbean> and then
<trekkie47> i dunno
<trekkie47> he told me to leave
<jbean> hahahaha
#36471 [ + | - ] 134
<logicalentity>
0111100101101111011101010010000001100001011011000110110000100000011100110110110101100101011011000110110000000000

<SquallStrife> unmoo! you all smell
<SquallStrife> logicalentity: thats low, insulting people through binary
<SquallStrife> i mean its low. literally, its low level :P
#36469 [ + | - ] 337
<liquidhex> ascii a stupid question, get a stupid ansii
#36468 [ + | - ] 1123
<Defcon> dude my new microwave owns
<Defcon> you put the foods in and then the time and then start
<Defcon> then beep beep and yum
<ToastyGhost> No shit, Captain Microwave Handbook
#36467 [ + | - ] 26
<Arkol> I wanna see the webcam!
<Arkol> as long as its not pr0n
#36466 [ + | - ] 324
<sup3rh3r0> kali: give me your user name and password and I'll
test it
<kali> yes, that's what it is!
<kali> supadupakali, surge
<sup3rh3r0> (email address censored)
<tima> heh
<sadielady> haha
<WhtCastle> heh
<p3t3_> hehe
<zombidwee> hahahaha
<zombidwee> mwahahhahah
<tima> smrt
<Valandra> whoops
<kali> uh, that's probably bad to say since surge is like my
password for everything, huh
<WhtCastle> LOL
<Tony> hah
<p3t3_> HAHAH
#36464 [ + | - ] 1
<*@Xavier> hey, it's japanese, not ebonics. dem's slanty-eyed'
bro's, not
black mo' fo's.
#36459 [ + | - ] 239
<MSN-02> MARCUS!
<MSN-02> HELP!
<MSN-02> My white Microsoft optical mouse clashes terribly
with my black Dell computer!
<Marcus> Vlad has been attacked by the Homosexual Interior
Designer!
<MSN-02> Actually, I pride myself on being one.
<MSN-02> Ah...
<MSN-02> Skecth off the homosexual aspect first, mind you...
<MSN-02> >_<
<Marcus> ...
<Marcus> Too late to take it back now.
#36458 [ + | - ] 192
<Talaysen> ...I used to get an erection watching the My Little
Pony movie. I didn't know what it was but I kind of liked the
feeling.
#36456 [ + | - ] 74
(T1MMY) i just pinged yahoo.com
(T1MMY) 1st trial 888
(T1MMY) 2nd trial 741
(T1MMY) 3rd trial 439
(T1MMY) 4th trial 499
(T1MMY) min 439
(@Okelydokely) ...
(T1MMY) max 888
(T1MMY) avg 666
#36454 [ + | - ] 4
<neotech-> ;\
<neotech-> It ate my penis and then choked.
#36451 [ + | - ] 67
<Hsu> you can have such amazing battle in the beta
<Hsu> i suck ballz and i still have a shit load of fun
<Hsu> it gets you so pumped
<Methos> keeps you fit too sweating from all that adrenalin
gaming.. that's how i stay fit
<Hsu> you smell
<Methos> yes, that's the sweat from the "set" i just did..
<Hsu> reps
<Hsu> got to love them
<Methos> it was a quick fast paced HL gib-fest
<Methos> my next "rep" is slower a calmdown by playing
solitaire
#36446 [ + | - ] -12
<WillaCuz> THERES A MIDGET ON MTV
<WillaCuz> noooooooooo
<WillaCuz> i missed it
<WillaCuz> lol
<aNuBiS-> :/
<aNuBiS-> I wanna fuck a dirty midget slut
<aNuBiS-> Then when I go to cum on her face, have her jump up
trying to catch it like raindrops from the sky
<Chr[i]s> hahahah
#36445 [ + | - ] 879
<BADGER> I wonder what Shakespeare would say if he ever was
transported to our time and discovered goatse. "HIS ASS! This
beige monstrosity mocketh me at every turn. Woe is my eyes. I
owe apologies to my retinas, for such a curse have I endured
on them. Woe! Woe!"
#36444 [ + | - ] 1478
<Volt9000> here's soemthing really mean to do to a random fat
person on the street: if you're approaching them from the
front, as you get near, start drifting towards them, going
"woooaaaH' then start circling around them, screaming "I CANT
BREAK ORBIT, CAPTAIN!!"
#36442 [ + | - ] 233
<RollingBrass> hey...the us open is coming to long island
<BADGER> <RollingBrass> You want a U.S. Open?! * Rollingbrass
unveils a banner of Goatse Man
<RollingBrass> TigerWoods: Now THAT'S a 19th hole!
<BADGER> RollingBrass: More like a new hazard :P
<BADGER> <Ref> In the Goatse! Shoot from where it lands or
mulligan? <Tiger> MULLIGAN!!!!!!!!
#36438 [ + | - ] 37
<Rambozo> I remember housesitting once. I totally abused the
privileges, I ate all the good stuff, used their jacuzzi as a
bath, and watch the spice channel every day
<Volt9000> you should have left a little "surprise" in their
fridge
<Streak> "mmm honey this meatloaf is good, i like how you put
corn in it!" "i didnt make meatloaf"
#36436 [ + | - ] 219
<Trivbot0> What is South Korea's national dish called?
<Logic_BomB> rats
<Logic_BomB> rice
<Logic_BomB> children
#36435 [ + | - ] 255
<Volt9000> .. WHY THE FUCK DOES MY FLOPPY DISK DRIVE NOT WORK
<Volt9000> oh wait nm
<Volt9000> there's no disk in it
#36433 [ + | - ] 26
<chabo> I love you like Ike loves Tina
#36432 [ + | - ] 176
<Gplex> is this the main channel
<Gplex> where's the main channel?
<Gplex> what's a "main channel"
<Gplex> what does that mean: "in the main channel"
#36430 [ + | - ] 347
<CheapSk8[RKI]> I am against drugs
<CheapSk8[RKI]> I look in the mirror every morning and remind
myself what they can do to a fetus beforth birth.
<tsingtao> your mom did drugs or something?
<CheapSk8[RKI]> No. She doesn't do drugs. I just happen to be
in front of a mirror when i remind myself.
#36429 [ + | - ] 765
<bobaverill> "OH LORD I PRAY FOR YOU TO GIVE ME THE STRENGTH
TO RELEASE THESE DEMONS FROM MY BOWELS"--guy in next stall
over from mine
#36427 [ + | - ] 7
<Geezus-stick> irc has to be the greatest achievement of
mankind
#36426 [ + | - ] 748
<CheapSk8>Windows 98: A 32-bit patch for a 16-bit GUI shell
running on top of an 8-bit operating system written for a
4-bit processor by a 2-bit company who cannot stand 1 bit of
competition.
#36425 [ + | - ] 647
<WillaCuz> *sigh*
<WillaCuz> why do people shoot at robocop
#36422 [ + | - ] 320
<PyRo_ZaCh> i think i gota try sellin weed or something
<KeLLy`R> i'll buy some!
<PyRo_ZaCh> u got a heat lamp i could borrow?
<KeLLy`R> no sorry
<PyRo_ZaCh> hrmmmmmmm
<PyRo_ZaCh> i need that first
<PyRo_ZaCh> i got it planed so if i would  no one could find
<PyRo_ZaCh> but i need a heat lamp
<PyRo_ZaCh> and a rabbit
<PyRo_ZaCh> and some sort of hover craft
#36419 [ + | - ] 739
<Shibbz> my oven goes to like 750, lady who used to live here
was a chef or some shit
<Shibbz> i can bake a baby in like 10 mins
<Shibbz> OOPS i mean chicken...
<Shibbz> yeah chicken
#36418 [ + | - ] 102
<Arielana> i will not eat animal penis' for $50,000
<Arielana> lol
<Arielana> no way
<Phrizzawh> Arielana is a wuzz
<Phrizzawh> i would eat penis any day
#36416 [ + | - ] 239
<Kris> Gay men, after diamonds, are a girl's best friend
#36410 [ + | - ] 222
<Posty> what is it about the lead singer from Garbage that
makes me wanna fuck 'er 'til my willy falls off?
<Threeboy> its cause she looks like a guy.
#36408 [ + | - ] 339
<guest1101> YEAH I MEAN.. HEY... HOW MANY PPL HAVE A TAN AND
USE IRC.. I MEAN CHRIST..
<Selfloathing> I used to have a tan, but then I lost it.
<Boogaleeboo> I always get a tan before winter
<anna_jpg> Tan is not the color cheetos leaves on your
fingers.
#36405 [ + | - ] -3
<overkill_> yo
<overkill_> i bought these
<overkill_> fucking
<overkill_> cookie monster cookies
<overkill_> they are the bomb
<overkill_> haha
<ACExNx316> Cookie monster cookies?
<aNuBiS-> overkill_: was it hard to pick up the box with such
limp wrists?
<overkill_> yea dude
<overkill_> hahahah
<b0nk> ehehaha
#36403 [ + | - ] 480
<daveb> ide is hot pluggable, right? ;)
*** daveb has quit IRC (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by
peer))
#36402 [ + | - ] 286
<Decoy-> hey, the funniest thing happend in 5th period today
<Decoy-> some chick was giving a guy a hand job
<Decoy-> the whole class knew it, they thought they were
sneaky ;)
<Decoy-> I was so close to saying "Hey, im next right?"
<Threeboy> sloppy seconds.
#36401 [ + | - ] 217
<guest1101> techno...  I pity you..
<guest1101> I really do
<@Technogeek> Because I have the burden of intelligence?
<guest1101> NOT AT ALL
<guest1101> U ALWAYS SAY THAT SHIT
<@Boogaleeboo> "U"
<@Boogaleeboo> Good move
#36400 [ + | - ] 288
<zs> i wanted to talk to him before i suicide
<zs> afk for a minute
<waffle> suicide does not count as afk
#36395 [ + | - ] 382
<antimatter> i like my penis
<antimatter> it's so cute
<antimatter> sometimes i put makeup on it and talk to it
<antimatter> one time it talked back...scared me
<antimatter> it said 'wie geht es ihnen mein freunde'
<antimatter> my penis is bilingual
#36394 [ + | - ] 247
<lec> saying "no kick?" is like walking into the YMCA shower,
dropping the soap, and saying "wow, nobody fucking me up the
ass?"
#36392 [ + | - ] 125
<Lestat> @find africa
<Ganner> @find nigeria
<Lestat> @find cuban missile crisis
<Lestat> @find fisherman tim
<brolli_420> @find SHUT THE FUCK UP
#36382 [ + | - ] -54
::: Mode: (@agg) sets (+m)
[@agg]: say nothing if ur gay !!!!!!!
#36373 [ + | - ] 476
-plot· then i masterbated
-plot· :D
+chimney· we didn't need to know that last part
-plot· but you wanted to know
+chimney· oh yes, i just LOVE knowing when EVERY ONE has
recently masturbated
+chimney· it's my top priority, i made a mysql database just
to keep track
-plot· dude
-plot· thats sick
#36368 [ + | - ] 235
<gh0z> Microsoft gives you windows, linux gives you the whole
house
#36367 [ + | - ] 294
<Jorenko> I'm getting a 96.1% in ORGASM right now, though.
That's good.
<ZRaven> i didn't know Schroe had a grade book
<Jeff> Wow, I wish I could be graded for having orgasms.
<Schroe> ...
<Jorenko> EECS-2100: Computer Organization and Assembly
Language
<ZRaven> the nice thing is if you weren't doing well, you
could withdraw