hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#36464 [ + | - ] 7
<*@Xavier> hey, it's japanese, not ebonics. dem's slanty-eyed'
bro's, not
black mo' fo's.
#36459 [ + | - ] 246
<MSN-02> MARCUS!
<MSN-02> HELP!
<MSN-02> My white Microsoft optical mouse clashes terribly
with my black Dell computer!
<Marcus> Vlad has been attacked by the Homosexual Interior
Designer!
<MSN-02> Actually, I pride myself on being one.
<MSN-02> Ah...
<MSN-02> Skecth off the homosexual aspect first, mind you...
<MSN-02> >_<
<Marcus> ...
<Marcus> Too late to take it back now.
#36458 [ + | - ] 199
<Talaysen> ...I used to get an erection watching the My Little
Pony movie. I didn't know what it was but I kind of liked the
feeling.
#36456 [ + | - ] 82
(T1MMY) i just pinged yahoo.com
(T1MMY) 1st trial 888
(T1MMY) 2nd trial 741
(T1MMY) 3rd trial 439
(T1MMY) 4th trial 499
(T1MMY) min 439
(@Okelydokely) ...
(T1MMY) max 888
(T1MMY) avg 666
#36454 [ + | - ] 12
<neotech-> ;\
<neotech-> It ate my penis and then choked.
#36451 [ + | - ] 76
<Hsu> you can have such amazing battle in the beta
<Hsu> i suck ballz and i still have a shit load of fun
<Hsu> it gets you so pumped
<Methos> keeps you fit too sweating from all that adrenalin
gaming.. that's how i stay fit
<Hsu> you smell
<Methos> yes, that's the sweat from the "set" i just did..
<Hsu> reps
<Hsu> got to love them
<Methos> it was a quick fast paced HL gib-fest
<Methos> my next "rep" is slower a calmdown by playing
solitaire
#36446 [ + | - ] -7
<WillaCuz> THERES A MIDGET ON MTV
<WillaCuz> noooooooooo
<WillaCuz> i missed it
<WillaCuz> lol
<aNuBiS-> :/
<aNuBiS-> I wanna fuck a dirty midget slut
<aNuBiS-> Then when I go to cum on her face, have her jump up
trying to catch it like raindrops from the sky
<Chr[i]s> hahahah
#36445 [ + | - ] 887
<BADGER> I wonder what Shakespeare would say if he ever was
transported to our time and discovered goatse. "HIS ASS! This
beige monstrosity mocketh me at every turn. Woe is my eyes. I
owe apologies to my retinas, for such a curse have I endured
on them. Woe! Woe!"
#36444 [ + | - ] 1474
<Volt9000> here's soemthing really mean to do to a random fat
person on the street: if you're approaching them from the
front, as you get near, start drifting towards them, going
"woooaaaH' then start circling around them, screaming "I CANT
BREAK ORBIT, CAPTAIN!!"
#36442 [ + | - ] 239
<RollingBrass> hey...the us open is coming to long island
<BADGER> <RollingBrass> You want a U.S. Open?! * Rollingbrass
unveils a banner of Goatse Man
<RollingBrass> TigerWoods: Now THAT'S a 19th hole!
<BADGER> RollingBrass: More like a new hazard :P
<BADGER> <Ref> In the Goatse! Shoot from where it lands or
mulligan? <Tiger> MULLIGAN!!!!!!!!
#36438 [ + | - ] 43
<Rambozo> I remember housesitting once. I totally abused the
privileges, I ate all the good stuff, used their jacuzzi as a
bath, and watch the spice channel every day
<Volt9000> you should have left a little "surprise" in their
fridge
<Streak> "mmm honey this meatloaf is good, i like how you put
corn in it!" "i didnt make meatloaf"
#36436 [ + | - ] 226
<Trivbot0> What is South Korea's national dish called?
<Logic_BomB> rats
<Logic_BomB> rice
<Logic_BomB> children
#36435 [ + | - ] 263
<Volt9000> .. WHY THE FUCK DOES MY FLOPPY DISK DRIVE NOT WORK
<Volt9000> oh wait nm
<Volt9000> there's no disk in it
#36433 [ + | - ] 30
<chabo> I love you like Ike loves Tina
#36432 [ + | - ] 183
<Gplex> is this the main channel
<Gplex> where's the main channel?
<Gplex> what's a "main channel"
<Gplex> what does that mean: "in the main channel"
#36430 [ + | - ] 355
<CheapSk8[RKI]> I am against drugs
<CheapSk8[RKI]> I look in the mirror every morning and remind
myself what they can do to a fetus beforth birth.
<tsingtao> your mom did drugs or something?
<CheapSk8[RKI]> No. She doesn't do drugs. I just happen to be
in front of a mirror when i remind myself.
#36429 [ + | - ] 771
<bobaverill> "OH LORD I PRAY FOR YOU TO GIVE ME THE STRENGTH
TO RELEASE THESE DEMONS FROM MY BOWELS"--guy in next stall
over from mine
#36427 [ + | - ] 21
<Geezus-stick> irc has to be the greatest achievement of
mankind
#36426 [ + | - ] 756
<CheapSk8>Windows 98: A 32-bit patch for a 16-bit GUI shell
running on top of an 8-bit operating system written for a
4-bit processor by a 2-bit company who cannot stand 1 bit of
competition.
#36425 [ + | - ] 655
<WillaCuz> *sigh*
<WillaCuz> why do people shoot at robocop
#36422 [ + | - ] 328
<PyRo_ZaCh> i think i gota try sellin weed or something
<KeLLy`R> i'll buy some!
<PyRo_ZaCh> u got a heat lamp i could borrow?
<KeLLy`R> no sorry
<PyRo_ZaCh> hrmmmmmmm
<PyRo_ZaCh> i need that first
<PyRo_ZaCh> i got it planed so if i would  no one could find
<PyRo_ZaCh> but i need a heat lamp
<PyRo_ZaCh> and a rabbit
<PyRo_ZaCh> and some sort of hover craft
#36419 [ + | - ] 748
<Shibbz> my oven goes to like 750, lady who used to live here
was a chef or some shit
<Shibbz> i can bake a baby in like 10 mins
<Shibbz> OOPS i mean chicken...
<Shibbz> yeah chicken
#36418 [ + | - ] 112
<Arielana> i will not eat animal penis' for $50,000
<Arielana> lol
<Arielana> no way
<Phrizzawh> Arielana is a wuzz
<Phrizzawh> i would eat penis any day
#36416 [ + | - ] 249
<Kris> Gay men, after diamonds, are a girl's best friend
#36410 [ + | - ] 228
<Posty> what is it about the lead singer from Garbage that
makes me wanna fuck 'er 'til my willy falls off?
<Threeboy> its cause she looks like a guy.
#36408 [ + | - ] 346
<guest1101> YEAH I MEAN.. HEY... HOW MANY PPL HAVE A TAN AND
USE IRC.. I MEAN CHRIST..
<Selfloathing> I used to have a tan, but then I lost it.
<Boogaleeboo> I always get a tan before winter
<anna_jpg> Tan is not the color cheetos leaves on your
fingers.
#36405 [ + | - ] -3
<overkill_> yo
<overkill_> i bought these
<overkill_> fucking
<overkill_> cookie monster cookies
<overkill_> they are the bomb
<overkill_> haha
<ACExNx316> Cookie monster cookies?
<aNuBiS-> overkill_: was it hard to pick up the box with such
limp wrists?
<overkill_> yea dude
<overkill_> hahahah
<b0nk> ehehaha
#36403 [ + | - ] 486
<daveb> ide is hot pluggable, right? ;)
*** daveb has quit IRC (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by
peer))
#36402 [ + | - ] 294
<Decoy-> hey, the funniest thing happend in 5th period today
<Decoy-> some chick was giving a guy a hand job
<Decoy-> the whole class knew it, they thought they were
sneaky ;)
<Decoy-> I was so close to saying "Hey, im next right?"
<Threeboy> sloppy seconds.
#36401 [ + | - ] 227
<guest1101> techno...  I pity you..
<guest1101> I really do
<@Technogeek> Because I have the burden of intelligence?
<guest1101> NOT AT ALL
<guest1101> U ALWAYS SAY THAT SHIT
<@Boogaleeboo> "U"
<@Boogaleeboo> Good move
#36400 [ + | - ] 296
<zs> i wanted to talk to him before i suicide
<zs> afk for a minute
<waffle> suicide does not count as afk
#36395 [ + | - ] 390
<antimatter> i like my penis
<antimatter> it's so cute
<antimatter> sometimes i put makeup on it and talk to it
<antimatter> one time it talked back...scared me
<antimatter> it said 'wie geht es ihnen mein freunde'
<antimatter> my penis is bilingual
#36394 [ + | - ] 254
<lec> saying "no kick?" is like walking into the YMCA shower,
dropping the soap, and saying "wow, nobody fucking me up the
ass?"
#36392 [ + | - ] 125
<Lestat> @find africa
<Ganner> @find nigeria
<Lestat> @find cuban missile crisis
<Lestat> @find fisherman tim
<brolli_420> @find SHUT THE FUCK UP
#36382 [ + | - ] -54
::: Mode: (@agg) sets (+m)
[@agg]: say nothing if ur gay !!!!!!!
#36373 [ + | - ] 483
-plot· then i masterbated
-plot· :D
+chimney· we didn't need to know that last part
-plot· but you wanted to know
+chimney· oh yes, i just LOVE knowing when EVERY ONE has
recently masturbated
+chimney· it's my top priority, i made a mysql database just
to keep track
-plot· dude
-plot· thats sick
#36368 [ + | - ] 242
<gh0z> Microsoft gives you windows, linux gives you the whole
house
#36367 [ + | - ] 300
<Jorenko> I'm getting a 96.1% in ORGASM right now, though.
That's good.
<ZRaven> i didn't know Schroe had a grade book
<Jeff> Wow, I wish I could be graded for having orgasms.
<Schroe> ...
<Jorenko> EECS-2100: Computer Organization and Assembly
Language
<ZRaven> the nice thing is if you weren't doing well, you
could withdraw
#36365 [ + | - ] 26
<pr0tM4n_> anyone interested in 8 fatty mcse books? the ebay
homo doesnt want to pay shipping
<ESD-Wyrk> no thanks, I got the movie
#36361 [ + | - ] 256
<Sulayman> That was pretty slick of you, trapping Kaete, EQ,
and Fry into making idiots of themselves.
<Arazan> yeah they think there so smart but smart peoples
always falls for traps because they think there smarter
<Sulayman> Guess you're pretty trap-safe then, huh?
<Arazan> what?
<Arazan> fuck u
*** Quits: Arazan (No route to host)
#36359 [ + | - ] 637
<Kaymanistic>Jesus Christ.  My dog has been licking herself
for almost 30 minutes straight!!!
<Rockjunky>God I wish I could do that..would never leave the
house
<Whatsupdude>Dude I realize its a dog but dont you think you
should ask her first?
#36357 [ + | - ] 27
>snoogins> yeah... I can get an ass fucking for free
nowadays...
#36355 [ + | - ] 241
<synthetic-> God simply does not want me to have any
meaningful relationships
<synthetic-> I'm up until 5:15 in the morning talking to a
nice 18-year-old girl from Louisiana...
<synthetic-> AND SHE'S MARRIED
<synthetic-> even though I have no hope of ever meeting her,
she's still unavailable
#36349 [ + | - ] 126
<Unhealthy_Hobo> i like, so have to stop saying 'like' and
'so'
#36344 [ + | - ] 431
<jamesf> go to work, put your jacket over your chair and a cup
of coffee next to your keyboard, then go home
<jamesf> everyone will think you're in a meeting
<jamesf> turn up again at 4, do an hour's work and then go
home again
<jamesf> no-one will be any the wiser
#36342 [ + | - ] 36
<l_oke> im sure velocity sucks. Not that i use it, but most
people that plugs their solutions all the time tend to be
morons, and we all know what kind of code morons write.
#36325 [ + | - ] 51
<Snio> pathetic !!!!
<Snio> PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS = Lost dollars
<DawaiDOOM> you tried them?
<Snio> no ! of course !
<Snio> lol
<p0s> *LOG*
*** Parts: Snio (~jne@Mix-Bordeaux-208-2-43.abo.wanadoo.fr)
#36308 [ + | - ] 638
<AwhSchitt> Well, a guy's puts objects into one of 3
categories.
<AwhSchitt> 1) "I want to have sex with it"
<AwhSchitt> 2) "I want to eat/drink it"
<AwhSchitt> 3) "It exists"
#36296 [ + | - ] 345
* inshadowhiding sets off a small sodium bomb for warmth
SeaWolf has quit irc : NETSPLIT :
Windesong has quit irc : NETSPLIT :
Rish-sims has quit irc : NETSPLIT :
Hypnos has quit irc : NETSPLIT :
Vulpine has quit irc : NETSPLIT :
<inshadowhiding> well that was efective
#36275 [ + | - ] 279
<chikster> I am 15
<hardlined> 15 is prime age to start experimenting with anal
sex.