hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#37520 [ + | - ] 1376
<@Zen> So Sean's toaster has two settings:
<@Zen> toast
<@Zen> and bagel.
<@Zen> But it's not a switch/
<@Zen> It's a dial.
<@Zen> So I guess if your bread is 60% bagel
<@Zen> this toaster can handle it.
#37519 [ + | - ] 453
<vect0r> i think they have something called a "real life" i've
heard the others talking about it
<vect0r> i've never seen any screenshots though
<vect0r> so i have no clue what that is
#37517 [ + | - ] 186
<anarchkitten> whats a google?
#37509 [ + | - ] 245
idrinkdeodorant> what OS are u using?
kingart3> i just use the computer
#37505 [ + | - ] 417
<Ray[RDN]> My skin is all pale, im like superskinny, and I
smell bad.
<Ray[RDN]> I think i'm dead
#37502 [ + | - ] 220
<RichiH> lilo: benjamin == fork(lilo) ?
* lilo nods
<lilo> he's a child process
<lilo> eventually he'll have his own process group though
#37498 [ + | - ] 159
<Bourbon>  Conditions :  with wind NE at 469206mph/755114kmh
#37485 [ + | - ] 138
<Eticam> ya know
<Eticam> something ain't right
<Eticam> right now, in 1 hour time, I'm downloading 2 hours of
video/music
<Eticam> that way I never get to see/hear it all
#37476 [ + | - ] 208
<GKirk> MCO = Orlando
<Celestar> MCO == Orlando
* Celestar notices that he is a C programmer and GKirk is not
* GKirk slaps Celestar around a bit with a printf and scanf
statement
* GKirk compiles Celestar
#37466 [ + | - ] 690
<Measure> haha reading about this japanese video
<Measure> girl has to survive on a few eggs and semen for a
week.
<Measure> can't eat anything else
<Ravenlily> ew
<Ravenlily> i hate eggs
#37462 [ + | - ] 1461
<blazemore> my brother is in a quake3 clan
<blazemore> and he had a ctf game tonight
<blazemore> and like
<blazemore> we were walking out of tilt
<blazemore> his friend goes "dude hurry up, you're gonna be
late for you clan meeting"
<blazemore> and these black guys were walking by
<blazemore> and looked like they were about to kick our asses
#37460 [ + | - ] 244
« Mo0ze » ye u better not be sucking on your own penis again
«@ young_einstein» i tried but im not flexible enough
<CrashMan79> Mwa ha ha ha ha ha.....
«@ Octalus» I wish i could suck my own penis
<CrashMan79> I don't
<CrashMan79> who knows where it's been
#37459 [ + | - ] 1169
<bansidhe>Last night my wife and I are having sex (me on top)
and just as we hit the big 'O', I accedently slip out and make
a mess on our stomaches.
<bansidhe>After we catch our breath, she starts laughing and
gets this playful/evil look in her eye. Then she gets all
serious and says...
<bansidhe>"Honey, I need to tell you something.... I feel
something has come between us."
<bansidhe>Hehe... My wife rocks!
#37449 [ + | - ] 1343
[@Sekt]: "They say that when you play a Microsoft CD backwards
you can hear demonic voices...
[@Sekt]: But that's nothing - When you play it forwards it
installs Windows."
#37448 [ + | - ] 178
<iTM> you can blame that on Power Archiver >:(
<viro|umm> oh and I do
<iTM> i started it up
<iTM> and my comp froze
<viro|umm> that's what it is supposed to do
<iTM> oh yea?
<viro|umm> yeah, set autocrash=0 in the ini file
<viro|umm> by default it is 1
#37445 [ + | - ] -60
<aphr0> bowling is definitely a drunk pasttiem
<KArmA-> something like that yeah
<aphr0> some little girl there was like
<aphr0> good.
<aphr0> she was beating me
<aphr0> I felt bad
<aphr0> I was rolling around 14mph and she was rolling about 3
<KArmA-> heh
<KArmA-> those slow balls'll get you sometimes
<aphr0> yea, but I got the last laugh
<aphr0> I raped her in the parking lot
<KArmA-> you can console yourself in the fact that you could
still go over there and kick her ass
<KArmA-> or yeah
<aphr0> ha! cunt
#37440 [ + | - ] 148
<Tiio> Dude, I don't think I've even SEEN 15.6 gigs of pr0n.
<Tiio> I mean
<Tiio> in all my wanking.
<Dogmeat> (which is quite a bit)
<Tiio> well
<Tiio> I don't get to watch much movies so -_-;
<Tiio> usually have to stick to .txts, bleh.
#37437 [ + | - ] 231
<XZergonaleashIX> shut, up, now i'm hungy]ry
<XZergonaleashIX> thats right, hungy]ry
#37433 [ + | - ] 108
<XZergonaleashIX> yeah, drowning your fish eh?
<XZergonaleashIX> in prison talk thats
<XZergonaleashIX> ugh...
<XZergonaleashIX> nevermind, thats nasty
#37424 [ + | - ] 469
<Gygaxis> and never use your knife on the screaming guys
<Muro> Nah, those are okay to shoot. Just never knife the ones
with bombs for hands.
<Gygaxis> muro: those are the ones that scream
<Muro> The shooty ones don't scream at all?
<Gygaxis> not really
<Gygaxis> the ones with bombs CONTINUOUSLY scream though
<Wataru> Can you shoot the bombs?
<Muro> Yeah. The 'splode REAL good.
<fabutron> THIS CONVERSATION KILL BRAIN
#37415 [ + | - ] 85
<melvin> figures
<melvin> I joined #geekissues on efnet (bash.org)
<melvin> it's just
<melvin> people trying to be witty
#37414 [ + | - ] 272
<cshepherd> i hax0red my first root account at age 12
<cshepherd> i was so proud!@
<cshepherd> no pubic hair, but good god did i have root
#37407 [ + | - ] 164
<Salmon Gurl>I like gays because their funny and nice to be
with. Thats why I'm not a lezbian.
<Salmon Gurl>Guys....I ment guys....
#37394 [ + | - ] 146
<Tuxishimo> The old bus station toilets were closed down
because people were wiping shit on the toilet paper.
<Tuxishimo> Then throwing it at the wall.
<GM-Mark> ew..
<GM-Mark> why would they do that?
<Tuxishimo> Fun?
<GM-Mark> is that customary in Britain?
<Tuxishimo> Yes. It's part of immigration too.
<Tuxishimo> You stand there.
<Tuxishimo> And have shit thrown at you.
#37390 [ + | - ] 229
<Cassara> Linux is like anal sex. It hurts quite a bit at
first but then you really like it. And while you stick with
it, theres still some aches and pains afterwards.
#37389 [ + | - ] 386
<picklehammer> im gay too
<picklehammer> oops wrong room
#37386 [ + | - ] 339
<Zeke> sex to the fifth power seems like a lot of fun.
<Celeste> You can tell what zeke has on his mind.
<Kira> Math?
<Zeke> It's like math, only naked.
#37385 [ + | - ] 1164
<vogon> abortion should be mandatory if the child possesses
the goth gene.
<vogon> and how do we know what the goth gene is, you ask?
it's the one that's all robed in black and writing bad poetry.
<vogon> "Here I sit / trapped in my double-helix cell /
polymerase taunts me with every mitosis / I want to die."
#37383 [ + | - ] 197
<Gryphon> (that's what I thought, but she has good lines, e.g:
"You always said you'd die for me, but I noticed you never
have!")
<Paradox> tell her you are saving that one for your 50th
anversary ^^
#37381 [ + | - ] 21
<Curtis> whenever you rub it you know it feels better
#37372 [ + | - ] 379
<Laity> this chick had her friend tell me, she's liked me
since middle school
<Laity> that's over 5 freakin years
<Al_Koholic> haha
<Al_Koholic> Is she hot?
<Al_Koholic> "No."
<Al_Koholic> "She has a hot personality"
<Laity> i think she is
<Laity> well, not amazingly hot
<Al_Koholic> Just a good personality, no?
<Al_Koholic> "She's a great person"
<Laity> i put her pic on the net
<Laity> lemme find it
<Laity> (No, i'm not pathetic, i run our class website)
<Al_Koholic> haha, and that's not pathetic?
#37371 [ + | - ] 201
<Altar57> he banged himself a youngin
<Altar57> err
<Altar57> not banged
<Altar57> bagged
<sloane1420> hhaha lmao
<Altar57> hmm, i guess that isnt much better :p
#37368 [ + | - ] 387
<Fiero_Firestorm> My sister's singing to her crap...
<Strife> ...
<Strife> Your sister is singing to her turds?
<Fiero_Firestorm> No.
<Fiero_Firestorm> Her music.
<Strife> Does that make it come out easi--oh!
#37364 [ + | - ] -38
<Trivzor-Bot>  oth.247. Category:If you live in the northern
hemisphere, Polaris, the North Star, can be found be looking
in which direction?
<Trivzor-Bot>  1st Hint: *****   Question Value : 18 Points
<PCG-Digipak> north
<Trivzor-Bot>  YES, PCG-Digipak!!!  got the answer ->  north
<-  in  9.564  secs, and gets  18  Points
#37362 [ + | - ] 150
<Luna`> lol okay never mind I did head
<Jamie_M> Luna heads all the time.
<Luna`> DAMMIT
<Luna`> HEAR
#37361 [ + | - ] 997
<discore> hey kali say 'clue'
<kalihasno> clue
#37359 [ + | - ] 179
<crazy> you just made a huge withdrawl from the first bank of
fag.
#37357 [ + | - ] 302
<Neshie> whenever I eat red apples I get bad luck
<Neshie> so it might aswell happen now so I can get over it
quicker
<Fariha_UK> :(
<Fariha_UK> i get bad luck when i eat rhubarb leaves
<Fariha_UK> cos they;re poisonous:/
<Neshie> erm ok
<Neshie> I dont want to eat these apples but im bloody
starving
<Fariha_UK> ummm
<Fariha_UK> take the skin off, that way they're no longer red
<Neshie> ive eaten everything else
<Neshie> erm
<Neshie> theyre still red apples with or without skin
<Fariha_UK> hmmm this sounds like a philosophical discussion
to me
#37353 [ + | - ] 266
<[ESF]Pcjoe2> who the fuck is using my name?
<[ESF]Pcjoe2> wait..
<[ESF]Pcjoe2> im using my own name >.<
* [ESF]Pcjoe2 has quit IRC
<[ESF]Pcjoe> hehe:-)
#37352 [ + | - ] 616
<JoltX> i just found out what alt+z does
* Parts: Eaichu250
* Parts: Donald
* Parts: WaterBomb
#37347 [ + | - ] 267
<Cassara> Oh! and the open trenchcoat. But usually Zan is
like. Black slaves, button down shirts, overcoats and stuff.
lesse who else..
<Doom> ...Black Slaves.. Nice fashion accessory
#37343 [ + | - ] 237
<`Raphael> <venomz> i broke my  finger playen halo 2 much!!!!!
<`Raphael> @_@
<`Raphael> HOW DO YOU BREAK A FINGER PLAING A GAME??
<Rann-chan> Jamming it on the game pad REALLY hard?
<`Raphael> How??
<Rann-chan> Either that or he, like, played it non-stop for 48
hours or something and his fingers were so overstrung that one
fractured when he jabbed a button.
<RichardFox> Could be a stress fracture.
<`Raphael> He said he played it everyday for a month.
<RichardFox> Yup, stress fracture.
<Rann-chan> You know what can cure that? A LIFE.
#37341 [ + | - ] 309
* cams lights tri on fire
* Trimangle is flame retarded
#37338 [ + | - ] 479
<Filia> If you follow the other two stars in the cup of the
dipper (Megrez and Phecda) down below the cup, you will get to
Regulus.html, the brightest star in Leo.
<Filia> i'll remember that :D
<Havoc> ....
<Havoc> The brightest star in Leo has a file extension?
#37336 [ + | - ] 335
<Aeris> lol once I hit a guy in the eye with a quarter
<Aeris> he threw like 5 quarters at me in revenge, it hurt
<Deltan> At least you got the last laugh
<Deltan> Assuming he threw back your own quarter
<Deltan> you gained a dollar
<Deltan> sowned
#37334 [ + | - ] 260
<FairchildDrumr> Damn the internet.
<FairchildDrumr> It gives you easy access to lots of great
women that are not easilly accesable.
#37330 [ + | - ] 769
<Lasse> we're playing ping pong lolololololol
<Lasse> !ping
<ChanServ> Pong!
<Lasse> !ping
<ChanServ> Pong!
<Lasse> !ping
<ChanServ> Pong!
<Lasse> !ping
<ChanServ> Pong!
<Lasse> !ping
<ChanServ> Too many commands sent, please wait.
<Lasse> whee I win
#37329 [ + | - ] 48
<Molloch> hmmm...the police are really pissed about something
outside
<Molloch> I wonder what's going on
<Prozzy> its the warez police
<Prozzy> bad boys bad boys what you gonna do? what you gonna
do when the RIAA comes for you?
#37322 [ + | - ] 38
Sup (fdsa@d141-144-70.home.cgocable.net) is now known as
Sup-out
<Judau> good riddance
<|[T]|Hiddenpower{573}> don't be so mean to supes
<|[T]|Hiddenpower{573}> he may be a dumb jock but he has
feelings too
#37315 [ + | - ] 853
<Requiem> wtf r u talkin bout, i droped englsh cuz it suks
<Nolan> As shown by your crappy spelling, you probably should
have stayed with it.
<Requiem> fuk u, ur all gay
*** Requiem has quit IRC (FUK U NOLIN)