hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#39254 [ + | - ] 796
<Pazzo> anyone got a windows XP cd-key?
<ClinRaro> Pazzo: FCKGW-E4TMY-C0CK-F4G0T
Pazzo is ~ident@tide110.microsoft.com
#39248 [ + | - ] 14
<Straight|Sleep> i seen a black jew once
<Straight|Sleep> but i think that was a disguise and he was
robbing the store
#39231 [ + | - ] 252
<D3v1in^jr> i learned just how hardcore goth girls can be last
night
<D3v1in^jr> got with this girl sarah...her clit was painted
dark purple
#39211 [ + | - ] 342
<Asskicker064> I enjoyed the irony at Blockbuster today when a
guy whose last name was Moron returned an empty movie case.
#39186 [ + | - ] 539
<Purelimit> Fuck man we hear about all these terrorists
nowadays
<SgtPayne> Yeah but most came here legally staying after their
visas expired
<Purelimit> Are u fucking serious
<SgtPayne> Yeah compare that too blockbuster if your 3 days
late their people are all over you
<Purelimit> yeah lets put blockbuster in charge of immagration
<SgtPayne> rofl
#39183 [ + | - ] 393
<fanf1> linux is more compatible with unix than windows is
with windows
#39177 [ + | - ] 619
<Ak> Today, a blind man who was begging for change addressed
me as I walked past.
<Ak> I gave him a quarter, and he said "thank you kind sir"
<Ak> then, he asked me what time it was, so out of habit, i
held up my watch.
<Ak> He said, "11:56? Thanks buddy."
#39176 [ + | - ] 71
<Diablo-D3> we have seenserv now?
<RichiH> Diablo-D3: ask for BrainServ
<RichiH> perhaps you can pre-order
#39164 [ + | - ] 459
<Tarl> You ever meet me, and I'm depressed, I will hit you
soooo hard if you hug me.
<Beoulve> You're not secure enough in your sexuality for me to
hug you.
<Tarl> No. I'm not secure enough in *your* sexuality for you
to hug me.
#39163 [ + | - ] 296
onkeybutt87: I saw more tonight then I've seen in the past
fifteen years of my life
onkeybutt87: I saw several girls in their bras
onkeybutt87: (and, yes, they knew I was there)
#39162 [ + | - ] 319
<Whisper> k so I have come to a conclusion about the sniper in
DC and it isnt good news for CS players
<Whisper> want to hear it?
<CJ> Sure
<Trent_Alkaline> dont tell me he's wallhacking...
#39157 [ + | - ] 248
<kryz> You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to build me
the ultimate weapon of mass l33tness. Instead of some lame
chemical or nuclear POS, it's going to be a giant bomb of ice
cream. So when It hits, there will be no collateral damage,
but everyone will have the biggest ice cream headache. Then I
will win the prizes.
#39143 [ + | - ] 173
<Beoulve> Some women insert cups with razor blades in them
into their vaginas.
<Beoulve> Would you want to fuck one of those women?
<Beoulve> DO YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH DANGER?
<Tarl> ...
<Tarl> Adam.
<Tarl> That only happens with women *you've* slept with
before.
#39142 [ + | - ] 256
<Cornell> damn I wish I could have gone to my friends summer
camp.. 9 guys my age, 18 girls, and another 18 or so a year
younger
<Cornell> *18 or so girls
<Beoulve> Dude.
<Beoulve> You'd still be a virgin in the end.
<Cornell> most likely.
<Cornell> but still, you knever know, and think of all the
possibilities...
<Tarl> Yeah..
<Beoulve> It's possible that you'd die.
<Beoulve> Horribly.
<Tarl> "Hey <Insert cornellmun's name here>! Could you go to
the convienience store and pick up some more condoms for us?
Thanks!"
#39141 [ + | - ] 18
<PenDragon> ((don't... I don't find it funny... and neither
does Kelli...))
<Tarl> (Weelll..for some reason, I consider my amusement more
important than your own.)
<Tarl> (Besides.)
<Tarl> (Playing brother sister, while being "sexually
active"..)
<Tarl> (It kind of opens yourself up to ridicule.)
#39135 [ + | - ] 212
<Tassadar2000> Hey! Why did you ban me? I pay my taxes!
#39132 [ + | - ] 221
<sac|metal|werk> anyway, star wars is real and star trek is
some made up bs
#39127 [ + | - ] 332
<lambtron> lol the other day my mom was on the computer and I
was in the other room and she goes "I won! I won! What did I
win?"
<lambtron> and I yell "what are you talking about?"
<lambtron> and she goes "It says that if this is flashing, I
just won!!"
#39122 [ + | - ] 17
<myutwo33> i should stick to stupid jokes... for stupid
people... that means you guys!
#39121 [ + | - ] 262
<tofuhunters> what instruments can you play?
<tofuhunters> i can play the electric guitar
<tofuhunters> bass guitar
<tofuhunters> drums
<tofuhunters> and saxophone
<bobsonfire> i play the radio.
#39108 [ + | - ] 576
<Satan> I need.
<Satan> A fucking optical mouse.
<Satan> So I don't have to deal with dirty balls anymore.
<Satan> .. Er, yeah.
<rapty> X_X
#39095 [ + | - ] 218
<jalex> hmm, they recycled 14,226 lbs. of paper here in Sept.
<Vco> all porno?
<cruentus> 14,226 lbs. of pr0n
<cruentus> what is that, 7 tons?
<_spartan_> just over
<roundfeh> heh
<cruentus> what method is used to seperate the paper from the
sticky stuff in the recycling process?
<Vco> cheap immigrant labour
#39093 [ + | - ] 31
<tulmad> there's lots of hot chicks in the egr building now
<tulmad> too bad they're all freshmen and will all drop out of
the CS program
by the end of this year
<tulmad> this hot redhead was just in here for a few minutes
<da4> end of the year = enough time to get some coed action
<da4> tulmad: webcam dood
#39092 [ + | - ] 94
<WintrHawk> I fart a lot in my jeep so if thieves try and
break in to steal something, the gas will repel them
#39091 [ + | - ] 541
<thrust> so, I just went to the snack bar and bought a "Three
Musketeers Bar"
<thrust> the label reads "Whipped Up, Fluffy
Chocolate-on-Chocolate Taste"
<thrust> which made me think of overweight black lesbian porn
<thrust> and made me realize that I get way too much spam
#39087 [ + | - ] 158
<Jay^^> But I might interrupt your work...;)
<JaG> im not working im surfing bash.org
<JaG> like i work at work, pleeeeeease
#39083 [ + | - ] 223
(GoatBoy) WHO IS THIS SANCHEZ GUY
(GoatBoy) AND WHY IS HE DIRTY?
#39079 [ + | - ] 704
<+EGreg> ATA? RAID? ATAPI? IDE? EIDE? SCSI? what is the world
coming to?? FTP? SPAM? HTTP? HD? I have been here for a short
while and already so many acronyms :-)
<+EGreg> of course there are 10x more that I know, but still.
:-)
<@O_6> ever heard of 'stfu' ?
#39060 [ + | - ] 455
<darkdragon18> yeah i live in England too
<Crystal> Damnit, the strap on my bra broke.. >_<
<darkdragon18> you shoudl buy a new brassyeah
<Primigenus> "brassyeah"?
<IceDelta> I think he meant brassière ;-)
<Primigenus> ...
<darkdragon18> fuck you, i thnk Id know how to spell words tat
orignate in my own language
#39035 [ + | - ] 6
<d00m2k> lol, when have you ever seen an azn be 6'6''
<d00m2k> ive seen an azn on another azns shoulders
<d00m2k> be 6'6''
#39012 [ + | - ] 319
<tngkicksbum> that book sucked ass
<tngkicksbum> there was no sex in it!
<tngkicksbum> and the violence wasn't intense enough
<tngkicksbum> and there was no math either
<tngkicksbum> i liked reading euclid's elements
<fizzie> so euclidean geometry has violence intense enough for
your tastes? interesting.
#38992 [ + | - ] 237
<+Yamatto> im keeping my ass virginal,
<+Yamatto> coz like if i go to jail
<+Yamatto> i want to be like
<+Yamatto> a rare commodity
<+Yamatto> and be protected for my ass
#38966 [ + | - ] 168
<PsychicSeagull> I should make a book - Procrastination for
Dummies!  It will just be a bunch of empty pages.
#38961 [ + | - ] 150
* ZondrZout has entered
<Arathorn> hello
<ZondrZout> Well, how typical...
<ZondrZout> Only the bot greets me
<Karyon> lol
#38951 [ + | - ] 141
(nyisles) see, what i need the dremel for is to cut the center
pieces out of the Caravan grille after putting the FMIC in
(TheDrip) use a fuckin steak knife (guess how I know a steak
knife cuts plastic grills)
(minime-) because you eat steaks made of plastic?
#38931 [ + | - ] 12
(Null-O): Women without teeth give the best head.
(Null-O): They "gum it".
#38927 [ + | - ] 1076
<Gemini4t> I'm going to become rich and famous some day when I
design a keyboard that has spring-loaded needles hidden inside
the caps lock button.
<Gemini4t> Some newbie tries to type 'WOW WUT IS UP???? LOLZ'
and instead he types 'AH FUCK MY FINGERZ BLEEDIN'
#38926 [ + | - ] 112
<Mike|sleep> Redwolf probibly has a record for # of people
that setinfo him
<RedWolf> :/
<RedWolf> im soo popular
<Mike|sleep> nah. you just say stupid shit all the time.
#38925 [ + | - ] 214
<LunchBox> why is my usb-to-usb networking not working :(
<q[torg]> LunchBox: it's netnotworking
#38921 [ + | - ] 98
<Zeon> and ya i have a bottle of brut, that stuff smells like
crap, i only bought it cus the playboy ad said it would get me
sex... anothr broken promise :(
#38918 [ + | - ] 307
<XX01XX> What's an interesting website?
<Phlegyas> an oxymoron
#38901 [ + | - ] 157
<bender_> lol.. Like 2 women on PMS
<Khafra> Alright, can someone help me with my actual problem
before I start craving chocolate then?
<bender_> (I assume there are no women on this channel...)
*Khafra looks at the extensive list of users
<Khafra> Statistically, probably not
#38897 [ + | - ] 403
<|JKZ|Silvr|3ull3t> truth:  even tho i hav many girlz 2 choose
from, i am single b/c i havent found the rite one 4 me
<Mr`K> Translated from nerdspeak: No girls will go out with me
#38893 [ + | - ] 327
@(mhweaver) new philosophy on life:
@(mhweaver) "I may have to share this planet with animals, but
I'm doing my damn best to eat every last one of them."
#38888 [ + | - ] 288
<Doomer> i want to compile some kind of calculater
<Doomer> its my first good program
<fraggle> er what language is it in
<Doomer> uh
<Doomer> wait
<Doomer> english
#38880 [ + | - ] 174
<ComWizz> also, i was thinking that Linux should have a
built-in UNIX shell
<ComWizz> because when I once did this: chmod -rwx /bin/sh
<ComWizz> and tried to restart the computer, it wouldn't shut
down, so I turned it off
<ComWizz> when i turned it on, it wouldn't boot
#38877 [ + | - ] 842
<darknation> wtf is the point in storing quotes?
<boris_> darknation: it's like taking a photo in real life :P
<darknation> I wouldn't want photos of retards
#38872 [ + | - ] 272
* Andrew has quit IRC (Quit: In the year of our Lord 1314,
patriots of Scotland, starving and outnumbered, charged the
fields at Bannockburn. They fought like warrior poets. They
fought like Scotsmen. And won their freedom.)
<Mank> Andrew's quit makes me want to duct tape him to a tree
and rip his eyes out.
<Coco13> But then he wouldn't have his FREEDOM
#38858 [ + | - ] 1933
<rompiku> I think I am going to wait until the hacker is in my
computer, then I will disconnect from the internet and trap
him inside
#38838 [ + | - ] 432
<ANonRhymingNick> Messed my english teacher up friday when we
were writing that essay..
<ANonRhymingNick> She was like "what school did you come from?
" "Live Oak." "Ahh..That's why you don't have a problem with
this kind of stuff." "No, I don't have a problem with this
stuff because I got most of my education outside of Louisiana"
"*silence*"