hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#45669 [ + | - ] 294
<LightningX> I just got a message from SexyChick1242
<LightningX> I am so happy
<Ron-Ton> awesome
<LightningX> think there could be sex?
<Ron-Ton> If he takes his viagra
#45663 [ + | - ] 242
* Fighter notes at his store Pepsi Blue is cheaper than
water......
#45662 [ + | - ] 14
<nothin> halc: I could build a 64TB SCSI RAID array for
$210,000 or so
<nothin> Single machine.
<mij> i could clone you for $210,000
<mij> :)
<nothin> I suppose another $10,000 for a machine with power to
serve it all
<nothin> mij: What a waste.
<mij> not really
<mij> cuz then you could build twice as many of those machines
in a day
<mij> and i'd make bank
<mij> :)
#45655 [ + | - ] 839
<The-Virus> hi
<The-Virus> hello
<The-Virus> oh
<The-Virus> heh
<The-Virus> =\
<The-Virus> thought someone said hi
<The-Virus> besides me
#45596 [ + | - ] 751
<Uncle_Tobias> I hate people who AIM me when I'm masturbating.
<Kevyn> I hate people who AIM at me while masturbating.
#45585 [ + | - ] 150
<Greenboy> how do i install linux?
<Greenboy> open the cd in windows?
#45581 [ + | - ] 471
* Joins: the-craft
* ChanServ sets mode: +v the-craft
<the-craft> thank you chanserv:-)
<the-craft> chanserv where are you from
<the-craft> hello
<the-craft> ?
* Parts: the-craft
#45580 [ + | - ] 13
<tasha> How long were you in New Zealand dev
<@devdev> went twice
<@devdev> for like, maybe 1 1/2 months
<@devdev> maybe like 6 weeks
#45578 [ + | - ] 563
<Ron> Just for the hell of it the other day, I went into Word
and typed out the alphabet with a whole bunch of fonts...then
practiced copying them so I could handwrite in like, seven
different fonts.
<Fire3n3rgy> ...
<Fite3n3rgy> go masturbate or something
#45566 [ + | - ] 811
<snif> i jsut asked if any one knew how to change ports and
stuff
<taras> yes, you visit your local harbourmaster and tell him
you want your ship to be in a different port from now on
<grifferz> you go to your liquor retailer
<grifferz> and you say, "sorry, I do not like this port,
please supply me with another"
<snif> no need to be total dicks about it you guys can go fuck
your self
#45562 [ + | - ] 275
<Spirit> belgium is the capital of what country again?
#45545 [ + | - ] 271
<Black_Mage> i need the program that enables you to make
flash; damned if i remember what it's called
<Assgoblin> ...flash.
#45544 [ + | - ] 215
<dn> if i cloned myself, changed the y chromosome to an x
chromosome, and then had sex with her, would it be
masturbation, or incest?
<Dareon> I think itd be illegal in 13 states, is what it would
be.
<Fentom> -{dn}- I think it would mean you seriously need a
girlfriend
<dn> i get the feeling i just earned a new wb
#45529 [ + | - ] 229
<Twinge> To think, there are 8.065817517e67 possible games of
freecell, and I've only beaten 3.
#45521 [ + | - ] -5
<Christof-Dupri> This 13 year old girl on Dr Phil is rapeable
#45448 [ + | - ] 222
<Minion> I'm waiting for CNN to do a special on "The Goatse.Cx
Phenomenon" Like they did with EverQuest and "All your base"
#45447 [ + | - ] 315
<[29th]ZueX> im gonna play ww2ol....lata
[29th]ZueX [PusherRobo@s26.pm3.volstate.net] has quit IRC
(Quit: Eeets got cheekan legs)
<Buchwald> i'm gonna go play
<Buchwald> "i hate my fucking job and it doesn't pay enough"
<Buchwald> it's a new game where i want to kill myself from
9-5
<Buchwald> and then when i get home and look at the bills, i
want to kill myself
<Buchwald> it's a pretty realistic game
<Buchwald> characters are kinda boring though
<Buchwald> hm... i'm talking to myself again huh
#45445 [ + | - ] 206
<D3S> driving is like sex
<yeager> D3S, driving is nothing like sex
<yeager> if it was, I would hardly ever get to drive
<yeager> and when i did, i would regret it afterwards
#45440 [ + | - ] 58
<rioter> cd location of file
<rioter> rpm -Uvh full file name.rpm
<_Larez-> DAAAAAAAAAAAMMNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!
<_Larez-> didint worked
<rioter> ...
<_Larez-> I didint put in the files name
<_Larez-> just pasted what you typed
#45419 [ + | - ] 399
<Spazz> I want to find a girl who is not afraid of dating a
geek guy.
<Spazz> You know... one that says "Oh, I don't care if I can't
bring him out in public...   he's got big junk!"
<StalkerofurSoul> "I dont care if hes ugly and has pimples,
did you see that quake win loss ratio?"
<StalkerofurSoul> he's got the finest c++ ive ever set my eyes
on
<StalkerofurSoul> omfg, and we was sitting there... and he
pulled it out, and i asked if i could see it.... and he let me
hold it....a wireless mouse! what will they think of next!
#45415 [ + | - ] -46
<Spazz> Those crazy Japanese folk!
<@rtil> O_O
<@rtil> Whats goin on dude
<Spazz> Anti-cigarette protesters made a cig out of plastic
and balloons.
<Spazz> Like 50 feet long.
<@rtil> WTF
<@rtil> XD
<Spazz> And they were gonna cut it with a katana.
<Spazz> But the balloons were filled with hellium.  x)
<Spazz> The explosion burned off eyebrows and beareds
<Spazz> beards*
<@rtil> rofl
#45412 [ + | - ] 61
* Joins: Deja-Vu (NyCzGoD911@AC806546.ipt.aol.com)
* GBL|InfamousGadget hits Deja-Vu with a brick
<GBL|InfamousGadget> sorry,  i feel bad for you
<GBL|InfamousGadget> just saw aol and felt a need for a old
school brickin'
* Parts: Deja-Vu (NyCzGoD911@AC806546.ipt.aol.com)
<GBL|InfamousGadget> =(
<GBL|InfamousGadget> I scared him away
<GBL|InfamousGadget> oh well,   iq++;
#45405 [ + | - ] 157
<PARAD0X> what if I dont have 8 mb ram, or am not capable of
16 colors on the graphics card.
<Xalnop> if you don't have 8 mb of ram, you can't be connected
to the internet... it's a rule
#45397 [ + | - ] 267
<qrg> how do they deal with dice rolling
<cmplx> you need vr dice. they're usb.
<cmplx> then you put on these special glvoes
<cmplx> and roll them acrtoss a vr desk.
<cmplx> no, ass, you click a button and the dice are rolled
for you
<qrg> i meant the randomization
<qrg> of the dice being rolled
<orion> i've never heard of a computer spitting out a random
number
<orion> or a random quote
<orion> never.
<nyisles> qrg: cat /dev/urandom
<orion> thus, random numbers from dice == impossible
<orion> it's not like computers generate photorealistic motion
pictures
<orion> or perform millions and billions and trillions of
intense calculations per second
<orion> i seriously doubt they could simulate die being rolled
<orion> i mean jesus, they control the stockmarket and most
modern finance, big business, corporations
<orion> but as far as picking two random numbers from 1 to 6
<orion> it's fucking unfathomable.
<cmplx> until computers can acccurately model the behavior of
a giant glob of cum entering the earth's atmosphere, computer
science has failed.
#45394 [ + | - ] 633
<Cat`Bored> Would you say it's foolish to make licking one's
elbow a life goal?
<Tumbleweed> you've been trying to do for the last ten
minutes, haven't you?
<Despot> ...
<Despot> don't answer that.
<Despot> please.
<Cat`Bored> I'm making progress.
#45392 [ + | - ] 127
<%Cyber_Akuma> damnit, aol is being gay
<@eDRoaCH-nothere> isnt that like a synonym?
#45389 [ + | - ] 406
<Summoner> UNIX IS user friendly, it's just very choosy about
who it calls a friend.
#45387 [ + | - ] 175
<Fuckhead> have you ever cut a hole in a teddy bear and fucked
it?
<@Neo> ...
<Fuckhead> i have
<%jdp> congrats
<%jdp> did u cum dood?
<Fuckhead> thank you
<Fuckhead> i wasnt old enough to cum
<Fuckhead> i didnt have any pubs
<%jdp> oic
<%jdp> so i bet the bear didnt like it much :'(
<Fuckhead> or however u spell it
<%TreeHugger> sek-c
<Fuckhead> i think it enjoyed it
<Fuckhead> because it was smiling the whole time
#45383 [ + | - ] 622
* xjeff does not read books(he thanks there a waist of time)
#45382 [ + | - ] 355
<xjeff> its better that u dont
* Orca hands xjeff a strange grammatical device...called...an
APOSTROPHE!
<xjeff> ,,,,,,,,,,,,
<Orca> Pardner, that's known as a "comma" in this here parts.
<xjeff> excuse me for not having extreme intellagence
<Orca> Sorry, I guess I just expect at least basic grammatical
skills out of people.
#45379 [ + | - ] 225
<opiate> i think i just got a new personal best for solitaire
<opiate> 10109 points, in 74 seconds.
<chewy-> sound like you live an incredibily interesting life
<opiate> its not that im bored, i actually like solitaire
#45341 [ + | - ] 1341
<Lothodrus> time for the sleeping
<Lothodrus> night
*** Lothodrus has left #rpgfan
<Flik> I ought to join him
<Flik> Well...not literally join him...but join him in thought
<Flik> Not that I would be thinking about sleeping with him,
though...
<Flik> ...
* Flik sobs quietly
#45336 [ + | - ] 104
<Ben> I was talking to someone I know in English class today
about my plans to Linuxize my old PowerMac, he asked "what
kind?" I said "Debian or SuSE", he replies, "Who are Debbie
and Susie?"
#45329 [ + | - ] 189
<Teakk> shhh
<Teakk> dont everybody talk at once
<LiamDevln> You forget that we're on Idler Relay Chat...
<Teakk> Oh yeah...
<LiamDevln> If you goto AOL the people talk more, but say less
#45321 [ + | - ] 22
<+Albator73> how I turn off away mode ?
<@eDRoaCH-nothere> albator- you type /quit away
*** Albator73 (Albator_7@ARouen-106-1-5-94.abo.wanadoo.fr)
Quit (Quit: away -=SysReset 2.51=-)
#45305 [ + | - ] 333
<kurtis> I love electronics, always have been a tinkerer of
such things
<kurtis> it all started when I was 7, and wired a train set
directly to a wal socket...and shot the train through my
bedroom wall
<kurtis> suddenly I understood the difference from AC to DC
heh
#45303 [ + | - ] 141
<Yellow_Submarine> Children in the back seat cause accidents,
accidents in the back seat cause children
<a_passerby> lol
<DrBoris> lol
#45299 [ + | - ] 178
<amoeba> there's a certain satisfying irony in downloading a
copy of the LAME sourcecode to rip movies with from Time
Warner Telecom's sourceforge mirror
#45294 [ + | - ] 312
<TheCross> anybody up for a bible triva game ?
<Angel1289> I'll play trivia.
<JeremiahSmith> "What was Jesus' middle name?"
<Noah> Fucking.
<Consul> H
<Noah> Right? Jesus Fucking Christ?
<TheCross> gtg
<TheCross> later
*** TheCross (~2thecross@------3176.mainf01.in.comcast.net)
has left #bar
#45288 [ + | - ] 301
<Spooky42> JESUS H CHRIST
<Spooky42> my dad sounds like hes giving head everytime he
eats a popsicle
<Spooky42> its fucking gross
#45281 [ + | - ] 430
<Sonson> (picture address)  ......scary part? this was last
year.... my hair grows REALLY fast O_o
<Sonson> and I have fecal hair
<Ronald_MacK> Fecal hair?
<Ronald_MacK> What the hell have you been eating?
<TRB115> Uh...
<DecadentTeatime> Food?
<Sonson> Fecial hair ^^
<Airi> FACIAL.
#45254 [ + | - ] 845
<Shirley> it was my girlfriends birthday, and i stayed at her
place, and i put fudge in the toilet early in the morning, so
when we woke up, i went to the toilet and she was getting
ready to get in the shower
<Shirley> and when she looked at me, i reached into the toilet
and grabbed a handful of what she thought was poop
<Shirley> and threw it at her
<Shirley> and screamed "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BITCH!"
#45241 [ + | - ] 291
<crikket> spyware is stuff that looks at where you go on the
net and tells some market research group
<strangefour> hmm, market research now know I go to japanese
websites that have scantily clad drawings of green haired
women with glasses
<crikket> next year that's what'll be advertizing pepsi
<crikket> thanks alot s4
#45235 [ + | - ] 477
<Rune> my car blew up when half a dozen of diaz's friggin
cronies rammed their cars into mine
<+Shadow> lol
<+Shadow> heh I hate it when someone cuts you off in a
motorcycle and bumps you into a cop
<+Shadow> and then you try to run away but you can't get on
the bike with the cop near
<+Shadow> so you have to kill the cop
<+Shadow> then you have two stars for no real reason
<Rune> I hate it when taxis make sharp turns when you're going
high speed on a motorcycle
<Jamie_M> for a second there
<Jamie_M> i thought "wait shadow owns a motorcycle"
<Jamie_M> but then i realized nobody in here EVER talks about
real life.
#45221 [ + | - ] 233
<xcham> I'm going to move to the middle east and start a
gentleman's club
<xcham> and call it "the Gaza Strip"
#45188 [ + | - ] 554
<Smir> you've read that file about electronic stimulation of
the penis?
<ManMower> uh no
<Smir> I'm sure you did
<ManMower> if I read a file about electronic stimulation of
the penis, I
would likely remember it
<ManMower> and possibly be in the hospital
#45186 [ + | - ] 381
<hash---> back everything up on 45rpm vinyl
<ManMower> hash---: I have 80 lbs of porn on vinyl in my
closet
<xbane> manmower: i have 130lbs of porn in my closet
<xbane> (dead hooker)
#45178 [ + | - ] 177
<ManMower> I need like $800
<ManMower> to have 4 twisted peices of pain pulled out of my
pussing mouth.
<g33k> ManMower: whoa. you going to an extra-value dentist?
<ManMower> g33k: what, it costs more than that?
<g33k> I paid $400, and that was only 20%
<g33k> so, $2000
<ManMower> $2000? I can get D cup tits and a 16" dick for
$2000!
#45167 [ + | - ] 175
<ManMower> tcp/ip has been around forever
<ManMower> since before computers
<ManMower> mailmen used tcp/ip to deliver packages
#45154 [ + | - ] 537
* Joins: Thogart
(~Womper85@44.31.171.66.subscriber.vzavenue.net)
<Thogart> Tampa is the lightning capital of the world..
<Thogart> and its storming..
<Apsy|Laundry> And you think its smart to be online Thogart?
<Thogart> Well... yea.
<Thogart> I mean, my house has been hit twice before so whats
the chance of it happening 3 times...
<Cuda> Thogart, quite good :p
*** Quits: Thogart (Read error: Connection reset by peer)