hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21122 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#49734 [ + | - ] -34
<c-rOCK> man im gonna smoke like an 8th to my dome right
before food time
<c-rOCK> munchies like fuck.
#49725 [ + | - ] 306
<trollusk> lol, theres this girl at my school who is always
obsessing about being fat even though she's pretty damn skinny
<trollusk> and one day, she goes up to this buddy of mine
<trollusk> and she's like "pull up your saggy pants"
<trollusk> he was like "i don't like your shirt and you should
lose some weight"
<trollusk> she cried for hours
#49723 [ + | - ] 43
<mutex> im so glad my ancestors killed indians and enslaved
niggers so that i may have this feast
#49694 [ + | - ] 1469
<fred32> wtf is the deal with bash.org?  they don't approve
any of the quotes i post.
<h0tm4m4> you're not doing it right.
<fred32>  eh?
<h0tm4m4> basically if you post quotes that use the word fag
at least once, talk about anal sex between men, make
references to nazis, refer to women in the context of rape,
allude to child porn, or any form of adolescent sexuality or
violent graphic behavior, essentially just limit the quote to
anything that a 14 year old boy would say to his 14 year old
friends, then it'll get approved. they don't even have to be
funny or clever.  hope that helps.
<fred32> sure does, thanks. you FAG.
<h0tm4m4> fred32: just get your dick out of my ass so i can go
back to looking at nazi child pr0n and that will be thanks
enough mang.
#49691 [ + | - ] 287
(tactics) i wish i just had someone to give me a hand job once
in a while
(tactics) im thinking about renting one of those little
monkeys from the disabled peoples shelter
[BlackDragon] EW!
(tactics) im kidding :P
(tactics) their hands aren't big enough
#49687 [ + | - ] 443
<MerliN`> want kinda cable u using?
<Cypress> a blue one
#49683 [ + | - ] 98
<etiolate> vegas is just like the internet
<etiolate> porn everywhere
<etiolate> and open all night
#49682 [ + | - ] 126
<Yoshon> every year my family gets 40,000 dollars because of
music, because we sell records.
<Yoshon> We get it in december
<Yoshon> you know how much we got this year
<Yoshon> FOUR THOUSAND
<Yoshon> ONE TENTH
<Yoshon> That's BS
<Yoshon> Five, six years from nwo
<Yoshon> maybe it'll be four hundred
<Yoshon> I'll be suffering, maybe starving
<Yoshon> And it'll be because of your fucking MP3's
<Emperor_Pryn> Uh-huh...
#49675 [ + | - ] 287
<@Cav> the tvs on, and the really pretty lady that reads the
news is smiling at you
<@Cav> and you think to yourself, shes smiling, i think she
fucking likes me
<@Cav> i think im gonna have to rub me cock on the tv
<@Cav> and you cant help yourself!
<@Cav> you rub your cock on the tv and shes still smiling
<@Cav> and you think oh! im gonna have to have a pull
<@Cav> and you having a pull
<@Cav> and you close your eyes at the moment of your high
enjoyment
<@Cav> and dont you hate it
<@Cav> when you open your eyes, the programs changed
<@Cav> and youve shot in don burkes mouth!
#49669 [ + | - ] 319
<Toby> can people stop useing the internet its getting slow
for me
#49668 [ + | - ] 754
<{FDISK}> I've listened to so many MP3s I can identify the
encoder and bitrate by ear.
<{FDISK}> Surprisingly, I'm still single.
#49666 [ + | - ] 145
<Kevyn> Fappy Spanksgiving.
#49660 [ + | - ] 207
<Radiosity> Mom sells baby for $2,000, buys VCR and
PlayStations
<Frizlefry> who'd actually buy a baby?
<Frizlefry> like I want to take care of someone else's kid
<Frizlefry> I mean, the only way I'd buy a baby is if I were a
pedophile or a cannibal
<Frizlefry> BUT MAYBE THAT'S JUST ME
<Radiosity> or both!
<Frizlefry> yes. tenderize the shit out of it before cooking
#49647 [ + | - ] 151
DaveyHasAFetish: I hate women because I hear my mom
masturbate.
#49642 [ + | - ] 531
<@LazyMan13> [¥] Lag: 1.048 seconds [¥] Project Infusion
v0.0.3 [¥]
* @LazyMan13 gives up
* +Knights slides his dick out of Lazy's connection and zips
his pants...
<@LazyMan13> [¥] Lag: 0.102 seconds [¥] Project Infusion
v0.0.3 [¥]
<@LazyMan13> .....
<@LazyMan13> damn you Knights
#49641 [ + | - ] 346
<DjSeph> I actually haven't had the Cup holder call, but I did
have one where the customer dropped the computer out a 3 story
window and blamed the fact that it shattered on Windows not
being "stabile & tough enough".........they then told me that
Linux could withstand the fall.........
#49630 [ + | - ] 307
<Ifrit> Hey H-fan?
<H-fan2002> hmmm?
<Ifrit> Have you heard it?
<H-fan2002> what?
<Ifrit> Have you heard it?
<H-fan2002> heard what?
<Ifrit> Have you heard the jokes they don't tell fags?
*** Cybil has joined #digiartistsdomain
<H-fan2002> no
<Ifrit> ......
* Ifrit stifles laughter
<H-fan2002> fuck of ifrit
<Ifrit> :D
#49629 [ + | - ] 281
<`3pX^Manitoba>  If you sleep with a guy, it doesnt
necessarily mean you're gay right?--PM ME plz, I need to kno
<Jivedue> what's the setting? prison or at home?
#49627 [ + | - ] 197
(@existx) I CANNOT LISTEN TO TRANCE AND MAINTAIN A HARDON!
#49626 [ + | - ] -81
<Ffieldboy23> dim sim get a life
<chineseguy4u> why dun u go bak to greasy wogland and shave
dat monobrow
<chineseguy4u> and take dat fully sik rear schpoiler of urs
bak to wogland
#49623 [ + | - ] 25
<exemplary> !BrewMstr (meatloaf)
-paradise_by_the_dashboard_light.mp3
<exemplary> well then
<exemplary> i'm gay
<exemplary> don't tell
#49622 [ + | - ] 282
<kinzillah> pie.
<jej> cocks.
<kinzillah> now THAT'S some word association right there
#49614 [ + | - ] 284
<Dekkon> the meaning of life is as follows:
<Dekkon> "up up down down left right left right B A select
start"
#49612 [ + | - ] 347
< tom> My sister is back... and instead of spending quality
time with her family... she's playing Lunar 2!
< ninjamike> and you're on IRC
#49610 [ + | - ] 358
SwEeTi6724: Every year 11,000 Americans injure themselves
while trying out bizarre sexual postions.
XDarkMindedX: Amateurs...
#49607 [ + | - ] 299
<Antiarc> Ever have one of those moments where you get out of
the shower, get dressed and all, and then realize that you
left your webcam on broadcast mode?
#49606 [ + | - ] 69
<BombScare> RAM Usage: 349/503MB (69.38%)
<snag> :/
<DSLDemon> snag usage: 512/512LBS (100%)
<snag> that's 512more lbs of man than you
<DSLDemon> i'm not sure what that means
<DSLDemon> but ok
<BombScare> heh
<BombScare> dont try to understand snag
#49602 [ + | - ] 62
<crypt-> in my bios, should I have AGP fast write enabled or
disabled?
<uNK> do you want agp to go fast?
#49601 [ + | - ] 138
<anomaly> im talking to gf
<anomaly> lol
<darkzeratul1> gf?
<gOtHiC_fReAk`> lol
<darkzeratul1> u have a girl?
<anomaly> gothic freak
<darkzeratul1> hmm...should have figured that out for various
reasons ;)
#49599 [ + | - ] 207
<tReMeR> I was cleaning out my closet today and when i was
putting my shirts back in the dresser. i wanted to put them in
a particular order. I would temperaly put the shirts on this
chair until i put them in the closet, in order. and i thought
to my self, I have 1, 32$ office chair of cache.
<Gedit> you need a life tReMeR
#49596 [ + | - ] 203
<McMoo> monday's going to suck.
<McMoo> we are going to get fucked in the ass at work
<maff> sounds like someone's got a case of the mondays.
<ChafedNut> McMoo's name is really Milton
* ChafedNut was kicked by McMoo (i don't even have a stapler
you fucking faget)
#49590 [ + | - ] 111
`rush» pokemon stadium is so tight
«@ Alp|nE» pokemon is fucking gay.
«`rush» :(
«`rush» i know
«`rush» save me
#49589 [ + | - ] 40
* Neu[Mann] has a life but can't wait to get the upgrade!
#49588 [ + | - ] 168
<betachken> i want a Mac.
<@Burned> me too
<@Burned> its raining alot these days.
#49586 [ + | - ] 35
<@Vexer`> I just got a new pen, it says "IPMORTANT: WHEN
TRAVELING ON A PLANE, UNCAP THE PEN WITH THE TIP FACING UPWARD
TO REDUCE ANY RISK OF INK LEAKAGE
#49583 [ + | - ] 31
<SiCkNeSs-> <-------fucking maggot slipknot fan!!!
<SiCkNeSs-> got my own channel!!!!!
<SiCkNeSs-> >=)
<dreamHOBO> i believe you mean fucking faggot
#49580 [ + | - ] 138
<Dilbert> Whats the best material to use to wrap marijuana?
<[LPK]Serj> Saran Wrap
<Dilbert> k thx.
Quits: Dilbert (zorkz@Cheatlist-5F46206.md.comcast.net)
(Quit:)
#49579 [ + | - ] 673
<BigBadGangsta> Not right now, trying to seduce a girl right
now
<BigBadGangsta> Mwhahahaha
<BigBadGangsta> Damn, her dad came home, she had to sign off
<IMJack> by that 'she' means "we don't have enough to convict
you and my shift is over"
#49574 [ + | - ] 20
<Jon> quick
<Jon> turn to the victorias secret show
<Jon> theres a present for you :D
<merc0> mmm...
<merc0> Wish i could open that present
#49573 [ + | - ] 160
Ssecondstringr85: i love thanksgiving
TwilightKnight00: me 2
Ssecondstringr85: when the line between what you should eat
and what you can eat is blurred
#49572 [ + | - ] 308
MageGal: MageGal: You know what one of the coolest things is?
BubblyLikeSoda: umm...a duck...?
MageGal: Baby wipes.
BubblyLikeSoda: lol
BubblyLikeSoda: really?
MageGal: We have no toilet paper downstairs right now, but
there are babywipes.
MageGal: I feel so very fresh and clean.
#49566 [ + | - ] 150
<foop> i need a manpurse
<foop> but a dressy one
#49565 [ + | - ] 0
<foop> 30% soy, 60% whiskey, 25% cock
<foop> the three main food groups
#49564 [ + | - ] 347
<XorTiN> I am sad, I ain't got nuffin to do and all I can do
is think about my g/f
<XorTiN> and she out partyin' w/ some friends or somethin
<XorTiN> and she's grounded so I can't call her
<LlnK> she's grounded.. yet she's out partying with guys?>
<LlnK> wtf
<LlnK> you're st00pid
* LlnK backhands some sense into XorTiN
<Illustrious> weird how she's out partyin and grounded
<Illustrious> and can't call you
<Illustrious> blah LlnK you bastard quit reading my mind
<LlnK> heh
<LlnK> Illustrious: i stopped when i saw all the kiddy and
beastiality pr0n
#49562 [ + | - ] 237
<moistyman> i saw in paper a position for tiolet cleaner at a
laxative company
#49558 [ + | - ] 165
<j4yj0hn> look at me! i watch mtv all day! I am brainwashed
into thinking pop is an excellent style of music! Road Rules!
Real World! Now to go buy my $100 dollar shirt from american
eagle or abercrombie because i am a consumer whore!
<j4yj0hn> i hate television...
#49552 [ + | - ] 63
<GaveUp> i stopped skate boarding when i started dirtbiking
<YenSid> ah yea, you can really injure yourself like that
<GaveUp> hehe i've totalled three bikes but the worst injuries
i've ever had were self-inflicted ... go figure ;P
<webby_g> stupidity related injuries are always the best
#49547 [ + | - ] 390
<@martini> my weed dealer, was drunk last night
<@martini> and she started feeling me up
<@rommel> lol
<@rommel> did you advance?
<@martini> i said "call me when you sober up"
<@rommel> aw, you weren't lookin for some butt that night?
<@martini> not at that very moment
<@martini> shit was crazy
<@martini> too many things going on at once
<@kvm> u were chewing gum then?
<@martini> har har
<@rommel> HAHAHAHA
<@rommel> owned.
#49545 [ + | - ] 172
<BusyChild> im witnessing the building of a porn site as we
speak
<BusyChild> i cant wait to tell my grandkids what i did when i
was 21 the night before thansgiving
#49543 [ + | - ] 225
<Shino> internet people are creepy...
<Shino> if i wasnt me, and met myself, id piss myself with
fear