hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21122 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#50871 [ + | - ] 82
[ TsUnAMiBomB ] what was i going to say
[ TsUnAMiBomB ] oh yeah
[ TsUnAMiBomB ] im the best at blowing
[ TsUnAMiBomB ] shit
[ TsUnAMiBomB ] blowing bubbles***
[ jamao ] lol
#50869 [ + | - ] 87
<Ne0_Rat> we all know who the bitch is in the geek
relationships... whoever has the worse computer ;) J/K
#50852 [ + | - ] 532
<Matt> What shape is a gamecube?
#50850 [ + | - ] 383
<jesdynf> That's odd. There's an option at the bottom of
Yahoo's email composition screen -- I can attach -money- to my
email, with "PayDirect" or something.
<jesdynf> Wonder if I should attach a $20 to my resume.
#50841 [ + | - ] 298
*** Jagged changes topic to 'haiku is like sex / except there
is less penis / and no sticky mess'
#50839 [ + | - ] 586
(@icono) what is it your mad at?
(NecroMort) women
(@icono) all women or just the ones who won't sleep with you
(NecroMort) same thing ;)
#50838 [ + | - ] 368
<indefactorX> WHY AM I BANNED ????????!!!!!!!!!!!!\
<LoneJackal> dunno
<LoneJackal> maybe because you used caps like you just did
here, in a repetitive manner?
<indefactorX> shut up
<LoneJackal> or aggressive language
#50833 [ + | - ] 153
<Gonkster> when i worked for stagecoach, lass sat on
periscope, no knicks on
<Gonkster> ffs, i nearly knocked down a building lol
<Gonkster> just saw this beaver winkin at me down periscope
lol
#50827 [ + | - ] 360
* Ouroboros does a robot dance in FLB's pants.
<FLB> ...
<Ouroboros> Well.
<Ouroboros> I mean.
<Ouroboros> You have spare pants, right?
<FLB> Yeah! Of course!
<FLB> That's what you meant
<Ouroboros> Yes.
<Ouroboros> It is.
<FLB> Umm.
<FLB> You can keep that pair.
<FLB> They're on the house.
<Ouroboros> KTHX
#50824 [ + | - ] 1068
jim: :D
jim: http://www.bash.org/?random1
jim: top one :D
#50818 [ + | - ] 331
<Amber> Hey would you ever date a girl who was ugly as hell
but rich?
<crunchyfish> Would you?
<MechaMrEd> Why, are you rich?
#50812 [ + | - ] 672
<SickHumour> Thank Microsoft for allowing 242423 character
names on MSN Messenger.
<SickHumour> <I ATE CRAYONS WHEN I WAS A KID AND NOW I HAVE
TWO BRAIN CELLS AND THE BLUE ONES TASTE NICER> helo
#50811 [ + | - ] 345
<KuAm-KuAm-KuAm-KuAm-KuAm> have you ever thought what it would
be like masturbating while in a teletubby outfit?
<Fr00ggyzor> Which teletubby?
#50809 [ + | - ] 340
#natfans on GamesNET, 01 December 2002

<dzee> want to try again sara
<sara_sig> no
<sara_sig> gay thing
<sara_sig> too pissed off with it
<dzee> why does it crash?
<sara_sig> .
<sara_sig> ^ see that?
<sara_sig> That is a concentrated ball of rage
<sara_sig> Refined hatred poured into one small dot
<sara_sig> "why does it crash" is possibly the only question
that can merit an outpouring like that
<sara_sig> I simply cannot even be sarcastic about it
<sara_sig> It goes way beyond that
#50804 [ + | - ] 240
<SteamedHams> heroin should be more widespread. it's like an
off button for morons
#50800 [ + | - ] 464
*** Schatten has joined #werenet
<ALW> Hello Schatten
<Schatten> HI There
<ALW> This is ALW, an automated greeting bot on #werenet. Type
1 and hit return for more info.
<Schatten> 1
* ALW cackles
<ALW> Well that was fun for two-minutes.
#50793 [ + | - ] 558
<EdiblePig> hey i got a story for y'all.
<EdiblePig> At a forum I moderate, i'll keep it nameless to
protect the stupid.
<EdiblePig> this freak posts, "I think the Harry Potter chick
is hot, am I sick?" and, I give this guy a chance right? Fuck
me for doing so.
<EdiblePig> i thought he thought she was pretty or sometjhign.
<EdiblePig> everyone replies, 'you are sick'
<EdiblePig> then, out of the blue, this guy says, "I want to
have hot steming sex with her." I shut the fucking post down
in a flash.
<EdiblePig> but i went and watched the chamber of secrets
today, and the harry potter chick IS prretty.
*EdiblePig takes a sip of bourbon
<EdiblePig> fuck
#50787 [ + | - ] 157
nonickprovided: do you at least have a pic?
p_mimi_123456789: i dont have even my scanner.. my mom promise
me to buy a cam this x-mas...
nonickprovided: well then I can even imagine what your doing
in my head
nonickprovided: I don't even know whgat you look like
p_mimi_123456789: im look like nicole kidman...
nonickprovided: yeah well that just blew your cover as a gay
guy
#50784 [ + | - ] 114
<@toad-> I am 0x1E2303BB Seconds old. (5.103407 * ln(-[ln(lim
[z->0] (1+1/z)^z)])*sqrt(-[sin^2(x) + cos^2(x)])*(-[cosh(y)
*sqrt(1-tanh^2(y))) years old) (My next birthday is in 51wks
26mins 45secs)
#50782 [ + | - ] 30
<F-F> Marks the end of a dialup ISP for me!!!
<F-F> and ive never bitched about UTV :P
<r0x0r> i thought you was getting AOL
<F-F> i am yeah
<F-F> but its a trial :P
<r0x0r> Your 500 free hours are not welcome here, F-F :-/
<F-F> 100 :-/
<F-F> in the usa its 1025
<F-F> here its 100
<F-F> 500.. here? haha
<F-F> No :P
<r0x0r> whatever
<r0x0r> everyone gets sick after 1 or 2 hours
#50779 [ + | - ] 1629
<Koult> Hey Lac'
<Lac'> Sup dude?
<Koult> You know I went to the cinema with Claire
<Lac'> aye
<Koult> She gave me a blowjob half way through
<Lac'> really!?sweet!
<Koult> No dude, not fucking sweet,
<Lac'> ?
<Koult> Just as I came I was looking up at the screen,
<Koult> and Elijah Wood aka Frodo looked right into the camera
<Koult> and now I've got his face burned into my memory, I
feel I've just gotten head from a fucking Hobbit
<Lac'>I'd type rofl ect but if I dont stop laughing I'll piss
myself
#50775 [ + | - ] 283
<Goose-dz> what you should do is bury half of your money in
the back yard
<D3StRuCT> wait a minute
<D3StRuCT> i remember something like this in the bible, i was
actually awake on this one
<D3StRuCT> didnt that guy get called a dumb ass bitch?
<Goose-dz> they used the phrase dumb ass bitch in the bible?
<D3StRuCT> well no
<Goose-dz> must be the new testament
<D3StRuCT> it was much more complex and condescending
#50774 [ + | - ] 282
<aBoijj> he asked me where I downloaded it from
<aBoijj> I said I walked into the shop and downloaded it from
the shelf to my hand then uploaded some money from my pocket
to the till via the shop assistant
#50772 [ + | - ] 331
<Coolman_mike> brb, my keyboard isnt working
#50769 [ + | - ] 309
<Koult> ah yes, but fat people are harder to kidnap
#50767 [ + | - ] 903
<hazza-> there was a young vampire named mable
<hazza-> who's periods where really quite stable
<hazza-> and every full moon
<hazza-> she'd get out a spoon
<hazza-> and drink herself under the table
<|iCARUS> sick bastard
<|iCARUS> i like it tho :0
#50761 [ + | - ] 328
<Alty> i say burn bill gates at the stake and all will be well
<Ron[afk]> :)
<Esper> yay! fire solves everything!
<Ron[afk]> Except for fires.
#50760 [ + | - ] 24
<SuperMegaGeek145> this is a really gooooood movie
<xTaVx> lol
<xTaVx> You need a paper towel?
<SuperMegaGeek145> ewww
<SuperMegaGeek145> good, commercial
<SuperMegaGeek145> brb
#50757 [ + | - ] 146
(@Vinpire) ahh but 25 days until some lovely new stuff. and
only a month till i get some money and buy and xbox
(+[KdAwG]) ....
(+[KdAwG]) Vinpire; i never want to speak to you again
(@Vinpire) oh it's like that, even after i sent you that star
wars rom
(@Vinpire) pah
(+[KdAwG]) ...you sent me star wars? :x
(@Vinpire) jeez, i uploaded it to your ftp so other people
could rape you for it yesterday
(+[KdAwG]) ...you did? :D
(@Vinpire) it's in uploads. lol
(+[KdAwG]) wow
(+[KdAwG]) it is
(+[KdAwG]) <3
#50752 [ + | - ] 145
<+Psylent> It turned out to be a good night in any case
<+Psylent> and yes, this is all a thinly veiled ruse to boast
about my new girlfriend
<SteamedHams> you can't use irc AND have sex
<SteamedHams> irc shoots out invisible rays that kill your
sperm
<egg> that's good
<+Psylent> that's very good
<egg> you don't need to use protection
<SteamedHams> yeah, let the aids flow
<egg> he's not african
<SteamedHams> ahaha, his girlfriend knows that better than
anyone
#50745 [ + | - ] 712
zambezi: Why's it called the tourist season if we're not
allowed to shoot them?
forge: Shit!
forge: We aren't?
#50743 [ + | - ] 203
Gildor gets back on his hands and knees and dives back under
the desk
moki: trying for another promotion, Gildor?
#50735 [ + | - ] 301
<sleeper> I wonder if it would be illegal to take scans of a
magazine from 1960 and sell them
<sleeper> I figure it must be....but is it?
<Sku> has to be older then that to be legal fer sure
<sleeper> you're sure that isn't public domain by now?
<ZeroHour> no sleeper, PlayBoy is still in business
<ZeroHour> lol
<sleeper> how'd you know it was playboy?
#50734 [ + | - ] 93
<kremlyn> I was in #atomicmpc, then I left because they are
all gheybos (tm)
<kremlyn> And he pm'd me and asked me to come back
<kremlyn> So I said
<kremlyn> [19:48] <kremlyn> Why? To watch a bunch of
pre-pubescent CS playing    Overclockers talk about how much
faster their computer is now that it's running at a 4 Mhz
faster FSB, when for the amount of money they spent on a
liquid-urine cooling system, they could have bought a faster
box anyway?
<kremlyn> And he quit
#50733 [ + | - ] 199
<Jeeeeebus> plus i got jedis to give me hound jobs..
<LDM> hound jobs = beastality?
<Jeeeeebus> HAND!! HAND!!
#50731 [ + | - ] 341
<@frosty[bong]> Current Time Time:«12:38am» Day:«Sunday»
Date:«December 1st 2002» TimeZone:«GMT -8:00»  I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n

<@frosty[bong]> its December!!!
<@kmad> sweet
<@kmad> only 14 months till feburary
#50729 [ + | - ] 22
<Justn> I cant wait till the summer i'll be working out so
much... I'm gonna be ripped!
<Ian_540> maybe working out will give you big muscles, but it
won't make your small dick any bigger
#50709 [ + | - ] 329
<gee-1> we should market heart monitor devices that're like
implanted. so if you die, it'll remotely run a program, to
like make your computer log in, get on irc, and msg your
friends that you're dead.
#50708 [ + | - ] 707
<Toen> With Starfox Adventures, Rare redefined fun.
<Toen> Fun (adj.) 1: Not fun.
#50701 [ + | - ] 280
<|TripleH|> Ever been fucking some 15-year-old homeless girl
and the roofies wear off and she starts to wake up? Do you
just keep going, or do you hit her with a toaster or something
and try to knock her back out? I never know what to do.
#50681 [ + | - ] 916
<naga> so how long can nicknames be?
<parnbl00d> pretty long
* naga is now known as nagaiseatingpie
<nagaiseatingpie> cool
* naga is now known as nagalikeslongdicks
<nagalikeslongdicks> nicks! nicks!
<nagalikeslongdicks> shit
<parnbl00d> ahahaha
#50680 [ + | - ] -4
<SiX-SiN> www.shoutcast.com
<[ZeRo]luNa-SiN> mmm kpop
<SiX-SiN> ckr lags
<[ZeRo]luNa-SiN> omfg
<[ZeRo]luNa-SiN> how is KPOP fucking 2nd and 4th
<SiX-SiN> i dunno
<SiX-SiN> it would be rap
<SiX-SiN> but niggers dont kno how to use the computer
#50677 [ + | - ] 359
<Wedgie> yay! the flickering stopped..
<Wedgie> I fetched a hammer and looked at the monitor really
threatening :)
#50676 [ + | - ] 418
<[LH]Georg> PAIN LEADS TO ANGER. AND ANGER LEADS TO CAPS LOCK.
AND CAPS LOCK LEADS TO REVOLTING PEOPLE IN AN IRC CHANNEL.
#50665 [ + | - ] 28
<Unsounder|HW> Mixs
<Unsounder|HW> didn't you forget to wank?
<Unsounder|HW> there's porn in 30 mins
<Mixs-zZZz> Haven't got that chan :/
<Unsounder|HW> i mean come on....you can't go loaded to school
<Unsounder|HW> on gymnasium you'll have a hardon constantly
then :P
<Mixs-zZZz> Did I tell you about the bombthreat? I think I
did..
<Mixs-zZZz> I wanked after that :P
<Unsounder|HW> ROFL
<Unsounder|HW> I don't wanna know what you did the 11th sep
then :P
#50649 [ + | - ] 329
<g9icy> heh, opposite my old house there was this massive
field...i used to find all sorts on there, old needles (didn't
touch), used jonnies...cars...bikes...etc
<Xanothis> are you implying you touched the used jonnies?
#50635 [ + | - ] 253
<PsychoticBat> Digga, what did skid do that made him a
cocksucker?
<Atchoo> Please :)
<Digga> sucked a cock
<PsychoticBat> Oh.
#50630 [ + | - ] 288
<NuttO> 'I went to a movie last night and saw a marquee for
[Eight Crazy Nights]: "EIGHT CRAZY NIG" 10:30.'
#50615 [ + | - ] 158
<ajpiano|fifa03> THIS WANKS AWFUL
<Jig|werk> prosthetic hand?
<derobrash> heh
<derobrash> lol
<Jig|werk> put it in the microwave and warm it up.
#50610 [ + | - ] 251
<EazyCheez> I know this girl who is really hot and sweet, a
Big Beautiful Woman... she makes my Captain stand at attention
<sqweak> hollywood lied
<sqweak> big is not beautiful
<EazyCheez> she's 5'2 and 305 or something, but I don't
care... woo hoo she's wild!
<TreeSquid> EazyCheez: HOLY FUCK
<sqweak> DEAR GOD MAN
<sqweak> that's a fucking keg on legs!
<TreeSquid> that is disgusting, and you are a crazy piece of
shit
<antivert> hungry hungry hippos!
<TreeSquid> don't ever talk to me again
<TreeSquid> that's just plain nasty
<sqweak> how the fuck do you squeeze 300 lbs into 5'2
<sqweak> thats like, 5 lbs an INCH!