hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#50967 [ + | - ] 328
<rH-rogue> just cuz there's no bulge because i don
<rH-rogue> 't asdlhfaslhdfasdf
<rH-rogue> damn it
<rH-rogue> i just had premature enterkeyation
#50966 [ + | - ] 271
[4th]Tortu: i've never had a single STD...but i think it's
cause you have to have sex to get em
#50965 [ + | - ] -90
*The_Loser_ I'm sorry, lol, but it's just my opinion that the
rest of Canada does nothing but make Quebec look bad. Canada
sucks. Quebec is cool.
#50963 [ + | - ] 167
The_Loser_: Lol. 2 Ads just came on TV. The first one shows a
cowboy guy telling me how I can find all my holiday gifts for
everyone at "Tractor Supply." and then at the end he says
"Hope y'all have a good christmas." and after that, an Ad for
the flea market came on. - Thank you for the brutal reminder
that I'm in a Southern State. *puke*
#50962 [ + | - ] 420
<Frosted_Frank> hey does anyone in here know how to get info
on people via email addresses?
<Enossel> email them and ask them
<Frosted_Frank> oh, thx
#50959 [ + | - ] 108
<bCc> Here are my Desperate Attempts To Get Rid Of AOL
<bCc> 1) I hired and exorcist to get rid of AOL on my
computer. It failed to work.
<bCc> 2) I also buried CD's In holy water, the holy water
evaporated but the CDs survived and now glow red...
<bCc> 3) I pissed on my AOL CD's and returned them to
AOL...They sent me a thank you note for the cologne
<toc-> haha
#50954 [ + | - ] 761
tom: guys
tom: youb willb neverb elieveb this
tom: butb myb spaceb keyb keeps bputtingb ab spaceb andb then
bab
tom: ab b
tom: whatb theb fuck
Cube: rofl
Cube: thta's really funny
tom: MAKEB ITB FUCKINGB STOP
tom: ohb heyb I bfoundb theb problem
tom: there bisb something bbetweenb theb  bandb spaceb keys
#50951 [ + | - ] 362
<knif> i remember when my cousin had a house with aluminum
wiring, when it rained you could open the garage by turning on
the stove
#50949 [ + | - ] 79
<Westy> not enough porn chans if you ask me  ;(tv channels)
<atdt> there's like 6 or 7 of them
<Westy> none here... unless you pay extra
<atdt> well, yeah. you've got to order them
<Westy> bah
<Westy> should be thrown in with the family packs
<atdt> heh
#50946 [ + | - ] 490
<yuethomas> so I'm not a psychopath. Boohoo.
<Dom> Well, psychopath doesn't mean murderer or killer
<Dom> They're just more likely to
<Dom> They tend to appear very intelligent, only their
vocabulary is very extensive, but if you are intelligible
about the topic they're discussing you will usually find it
has no real substance.
<Dom> Just lots of misused or illogical jargon
<yuethomas> Case in point. o_o
<yuethomas> and cliches, i'm sure
<Dom> Yep
<Dom> And they drift from topic to topic very easily
<yuethomas> speaking of the weather
<Dom> :D
<Dom> Thanks, I brushed it this morning
<yuethomas> Did it grow?
<Dom> And how
<yuethomas> I know eh
<Dom> I'll have to paint it one day
<yuethomas> Use some duct tape too
<Dom> and hotpants
#50944 [ + | - ] 330
<@Netwizard> Osamas dead
<@Burned> perhaps
<@Burned> i just dont want osama to keep releasing albums like
tupac
#50941 [ + | - ] 91
* nick > Stalkaout is now known as Stalkachu
<@Miz> and where have you been?
<@Cheez> considering hes at university hes probably been out
drinking / getting stoned / getting laid
<@Miz> considering its Stalkeh i'd wager not
<@Cheez> LOL
#50940 [ + | - ] 116
<Sn1p3r> Transferred 75 files totaling 3.41 GB in 01:20:20
(751.53 KBps)
<Sn1p3r> man, thats a lot of shit
<[Piratez]> be sure to flush
<[Piratez]> get a plunger while ur at it, i doubt 3.41gb will
go down in one flush
#50938 [ + | - ] 263
<RichiH> you could always use netbsd if you want maximum
security
<RichiH> ppl are gonna nmap you and see that it is a netbsd
box
<RichiH> so they will think "that's a propped-up toaster
anyway, no use hacking it" and you are safe
#50932 [ + | - ] 388
*** Joins: Canadianpirate (java@=
YEpe33-53-450-851.om.om.cox.net)
<@Oshi> Eyarrr, eh?
#50930 [ + | - ] 521
[ @Hammer ] Okay, I was going to have some Count Chocula, so I
started pouring a bowl. But then I ran out before I filled the
bowl, so I just filled the rest with Cocoa Pebbles cause that
was the only other cereal we had. So I open the fridge, and we
have no milk, only chocolate milk. So yeah, I consumed about 5
years worth of chocolate intake in that one meal.
#50927 [ + | - ] 885
[ @Kruegel ] CharCoal69 what version of mIRC do you have?
***Approximately 18 Minutes Later***
[ +CharCoal69 ] NINETY
[ +Hammer[pth] ] haha, I don't know what was funnier
[ +Hammer[pth] ] the latency of the reply, or the reply itself
#50926 [ + | - ] 192
[ @DrZaius44 ] i miss anything?
[ +CpuMan2001 ] !seen anything
[ @Drunkfux ] CpuMan2001, anything was not found in the
database.
[ +CpuMan2001 ] apparantly not
#50925 [ + | - ] 337
[ Genia4 ] one sec i'm looking for the url of the iq test
[ Genia4 ] i want u to do it
**Approximately 8 Minutes Later**
[ Genia4 ] http://www.iqtest.com/
[ @AirRaid ] it took you that long to remember that url?
[ @AirRaid ] FOR AN IQ TEST?
#50922 [ + | - ] 269
<cinnabar> tv rots the mind, destroys the imagination,
promotes obsesity, and encourages commercialism.
<jazzstepa> its the american way
#50921 [ + | - ] 175
<Slartibartfast_> pr0n is incredibly boring.
<Slartibartfast_> You can only look at so many goats before
you start to get tired of it.
<Sn0w> Slartibartfast_: I have a patern. Change a fetish every
month
#50916 [ + | - ] 255
<@Gallahan> Anyone know the geographic distribution for AOL
proxies?
<@abombpk> hell?
<@Lyle> thats an understatement
#50915 [ + | - ] 171
<CitizenErazed> I dunno, there are other, better things to do
while you're in bed
<tomjone5> like play chess. always does it for me, anyway
<CitizenErazed> so THAT'S what you and Jen spend all your time
doing, matt?
<tomjone5> yup, I can keep going for hours at a time
<tomjone5> but have you even thought of the positions you can
play in? gets me all tingly just thinking about it
<CitizenErazed> tantric chess books, then?
<tomjone5> I'm still writing the kama chess, expect to see it
in 'special' bookshops next month
#50909 [ + | - ] 25
<dlewis> anyone want to buy an iPAQ H3670?
<RichiH> not really
<RichiH> it has windows on it, after all :)
<dlewis> you can install linux on it.
<RichiH> hmm, right
<RichiH> but it will still be a compaq :)
#50906 [ + | - ] 34
<Coult> im 65 years old
<Coult> and I still get more pussy than you
<Daishi> 11 y/o girls who you tricked with candy dont count
<Aamperix> I know.
<Aamperix> I feel bad for you.
<Aamperix> Hey little girl, want a Butterfinger? I have a nice
Bitesize butterfinger...want one?
#50896 [ + | - ] -7
<Hammer> im pretty good at typing with one hand
#50892 [ + | - ] 569
<bionicfen> OK I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE CATHOLIC
<Sak> BW - Do everything you do now, except feel guilty about
it.
#50891 [ + | - ] 13655
<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said
there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red
like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness
with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue
back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^
#50887 [ + | - ] 465
<rootd> Got my room down to about 35-40% fragmented... much
better than the 70-80% earlier
<Jeian> you defragmented your room?
<rootd> yea
<Jeian> too much computer for you... :]
#50884 [ + | - ] 324
<TSU> want a penis butter and jelly sandwich Cross? :o
<CrossAlkaid> Sure.
<CrossAlkaid> Oh wait.
#50877 [ + | - ] 111
<Juridian> 'You have reached the 1-800-HACKERS tech support
line, all of our operators are currently busy.  Please leave
your IP, username and password at the beep and we'll get right
back to you....'  *beeeeeep*
* The-Rev is calling 1-800-HACKERS
<The-Rev> brb
<The-Rev> Bet its some sort of adult line
#50873 [ + | - ] 194
Christian[LG]: install windows ME or take cyanide, which is
the better suicide option ?
Mouce: ME
True|Fogge: ME makes you take cyanide
kronny: nah cyanide, it dont take over an hour to take effect
#50872 [ + | - ] -2
<[1RB]sika> once you fuck a ham it will change your life
forever
<Lee> Really? I found Turkeys to be the best fucks
<[1RB]sika> but hams have a perfect sized hole in the middle
already cut
<Lee> I know, but turkeys have those nice little wings that
act perfectly for handles
<[1RB]sika> balogna is good too
<[1RB]sika> and when you're done jacking off with it you can
call your pets to clean up the mess
#50871 [ + | - ] 89
[ TsUnAMiBomB ] what was i going to say
[ TsUnAMiBomB ] oh yeah
[ TsUnAMiBomB ] im the best at blowing
[ TsUnAMiBomB ] shit
[ TsUnAMiBomB ] blowing bubbles***
[ jamao ] lol
#50869 [ + | - ] 92
<Ne0_Rat> we all know who the bitch is in the geek
relationships... whoever has the worse computer ;) J/K
#50852 [ + | - ] 539
<Matt> What shape is a gamecube?
#50850 [ + | - ] 390
<jesdynf> That's odd. There's an option at the bottom of
Yahoo's email composition screen -- I can attach -money- to my
email, with "PayDirect" or something.
<jesdynf> Wonder if I should attach a $20 to my resume.
#50841 [ + | - ] 305
*** Jagged changes topic to 'haiku is like sex / except there
is less penis / and no sticky mess'
#50839 [ + | - ] 593
(@icono) what is it your mad at?
(NecroMort) women
(@icono) all women or just the ones who won't sleep with you
(NecroMort) same thing ;)
#50838 [ + | - ] 374
<indefactorX> WHY AM I BANNED ????????!!!!!!!!!!!!\
<LoneJackal> dunno
<LoneJackal> maybe because you used caps like you just did
here, in a repetitive manner?
<indefactorX> shut up
<LoneJackal> or aggressive language
#50833 [ + | - ] 162
<Gonkster> when i worked for stagecoach, lass sat on
periscope, no knicks on
<Gonkster> ffs, i nearly knocked down a building lol
<Gonkster> just saw this beaver winkin at me down periscope
lol
#50827 [ + | - ] 366
* Ouroboros does a robot dance in FLB's pants.
<FLB> ...
<Ouroboros> Well.
<Ouroboros> I mean.
<Ouroboros> You have spare pants, right?
<FLB> Yeah! Of course!
<FLB> That's what you meant
<Ouroboros> Yes.
<Ouroboros> It is.
<FLB> Umm.
<FLB> You can keep that pair.
<FLB> They're on the house.
<Ouroboros> KTHX
#50824 [ + | - ] 1074
jim: :D
jim: http://www.bash.org/?random1
jim: top one :D
#50818 [ + | - ] 339
<Amber> Hey would you ever date a girl who was ugly as hell
but rich?
<crunchyfish> Would you?
<MechaMrEd> Why, are you rich?
#50812 [ + | - ] 675
<SickHumour> Thank Microsoft for allowing 242423 character
names on MSN Messenger.
<SickHumour> <I ATE CRAYONS WHEN I WAS A KID AND NOW I HAVE
TWO BRAIN CELLS AND THE BLUE ONES TASTE NICER> helo
#50811 [ + | - ] 352
<KuAm-KuAm-KuAm-KuAm-KuAm> have you ever thought what it would
be like masturbating while in a teletubby outfit?
<Fr00ggyzor> Which teletubby?
#50809 [ + | - ] 346
#natfans on GamesNET, 01 December 2002

<dzee> want to try again sara
<sara_sig> no
<sara_sig> gay thing
<sara_sig> too pissed off with it
<dzee> why does it crash?
<sara_sig> .
<sara_sig> ^ see that?
<sara_sig> That is a concentrated ball of rage
<sara_sig> Refined hatred poured into one small dot
<sara_sig> "why does it crash" is possibly the only question
that can merit an outpouring like that
<sara_sig> I simply cannot even be sarcastic about it
<sara_sig> It goes way beyond that
#50804 [ + | - ] 248
<SteamedHams> heroin should be more widespread. it's like an
off button for morons
#50800 [ + | - ] 471
*** Schatten has joined #werenet
<ALW> Hello Schatten
<Schatten> HI There
<ALW> This is ALW, an automated greeting bot on #werenet. Type
1 and hit return for more info.
<Schatten> 1
* ALW cackles
<ALW> Well that was fun for two-minutes.
#50793 [ + | - ] 568
<EdiblePig> hey i got a story for y'all.
<EdiblePig> At a forum I moderate, i'll keep it nameless to
protect the stupid.
<EdiblePig> this freak posts, "I think the Harry Potter chick
is hot, am I sick?" and, I give this guy a chance right? Fuck
me for doing so.
<EdiblePig> i thought he thought she was pretty or sometjhign.
<EdiblePig> everyone replies, 'you are sick'
<EdiblePig> then, out of the blue, this guy says, "I want to
have hot steming sex with her." I shut the fucking post down
in a flash.
<EdiblePig> but i went and watched the chamber of secrets
today, and the harry potter chick IS prretty.
*EdiblePig takes a sip of bourbon
<EdiblePig> fuck