hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21122 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#51999 [ + | - ] 513
<Tak777> I have returned
* Feops disbelieves
<Feops> 1d20+1
<Ragnaar> Feops: 1d20+1 (6)
<Feops> damn
<Feops> fine, you're here.
#51996 [ + | - ] 170
Joe Fox : you know in multiplayer FPS', how in multiplayer
their names go above their heads
Nanaki_ZPilot_assassin : yeah
Joe Fox : they need that in real life
Nanaki_ZPilot_assassin : LOL
Joe Fox : and you know how you can veiw peoples pings
Joe Fox : well, life needs that too, but for IQ not ping
Darth_Bowser : shit
Darth_Bowser : most of the IQs would be very low
Joe Fox : and life needs respawning too
Darth_Bowser : =P
Joe Fox : damnit, life needs to be a FPS
Darth_Bowser : heh
Darth_Bowser : that would be amusing
Joe Fox : where i have like a "cable" brain and everyone else
has "56k" brains
Darth_Bowser : *cough* =P
Joe Fox : and you have a 128k brain
#51994 [ + | - ] 276
* animosity`snow`boardin is now known as animosity`FUCKING
`PARENTS
<tP-InfamousGadget> ewww
#51991 [ + | - ] 72
<Area-51> wanna know a good one?
<AOLuser> a good one what?
<Area-51> i mistyped the "yes | rm ..." command and deleted my
entire home directory, including the eggdrop :P
#51990 [ + | - ] 126
< gimbgoth> Fatal-Err: yeah, that's a bummer huh
< Fatal-Err> bummer? what means bummer?
<+insight> damn
<+Moak> it's fuck in the "okay-to-say-at-mom's-table" version
#51915 [ + | - ] 1128
<MerryXmouse> My mum and dad were just yelling at each other
and I walked up and said "Can you two stop being wankers?" and
my mum hit me on the head and goes "I'll wank you!...... No I
won't..."
#51904 [ + | - ] 234
<orion> i was like MAN CHECK OUT THIS HOTTIE
<orion> he's all SLOW DOWN SCROLLING MAN SHE'S FUCKING HOT
<orion> OH MAN SHE'S EXTREMELY HOT
<orion> he complimented her more than any other female i've
ever heard him talking about
<orion> even models and shit
<orion> then BAM i went to the dick shot
<orion> "WHAT TEH FUCK I HATE YOU MAN THAT'S SO PHOTOSHOPPED"
#51899 [ + | - ] 345
<Cow> the night is young! so young that If I were to have sex
with it, it wouldn't know what I was doing, would be scarred
for life and develop multiple personality disorder to evade
the shock!
<Cow> ....
<Cow> ...
<Cow> seriously.
#51890 [ + | - ] 554
<bllllll> The instructions said to install Microsoft Windows
(tm) XP or better, so I installled OpenBSD.
#51861 [ + | - ] 483
<Red_Sky> It must have been a slow newsday. The headline for
today's paper is 'Suicide Bomber Killed'.
#51830 [ + | - ] 524
<Red_Sky> We'll call it "Shut the hell up", and you'll go
first.
<Red_Sky> Now, the object of this game, Deos, is to shut the
hell up.
<Red_Sky> You're doing exceptionally well for a beginner.
#51825 [ + | - ] 647
* Nazgul thinks it's amusing when people are soooo anal
retentive that they can't even pass up a single mistyped
letter.
<Rico||Sleep>: Anal-retentive is hyphenated...
#51823 [ + | - ] 344
<Myst> It would, however, be funnier.
<Myst> Since Canadians are funnier by nature.
<WTM2K> just because we laugh at you doesn't mean you're funny
#51807 [ + | - ] 329
<Bretty> A 16yr old boy asks his dad what a pussy looks like
before sex...he says " well son it looks like a nice rose
petal" Boy replies.."well what does it lookl ike afterwards?"
<Bretty> Father says....."have you ever seen a bulldog eating
mayonaise?"
#51783 [ + | - ] 151
<@Daybreaker> bah
<@Daybreaker> i got sick oF that bin laden game the first time
i played it
<@Daybreaker> like a year ago
<@Daybreaker> fuck flash games
<@Blur> hentai?
<@Daybreaker> shush
<@Daybreaker> i caN't stand a game where the difficulty levels
are "poorly made" "badly made" and "free 15 day macromedia
preview"
<@Blur> lol
<@Daybreaker> fuck all that
#51765 [ + | - ] 179
<wanman2> c++ is so much more intuitive than any language i've
learned
<wanman2> that's my thought of the night
<wanman2> and with that, good night.
<fib> let us bathe in its profundity
<wanman2> and lather ourselves with its wisdom
<lbandit> and watch it flow down the drain
<lbandit> amidst our pubic hairs and semen
<lbandit> and urine
<wanman2> and vaginal discharge
<fib> my bishop delivers no sermons in the shower
#51758 [ + | - ] 320
<LADYCHUMY> rebooting everyone
*** LADYCHUMY has quit IRC (Quit: U asked me whom I luv d most
, i said my life, u cried n turned away, tears fell coz u left
abt 2 say ur my life...)
<Viggo> hmmm
<Viggo> that sentiment was ruined by AOL slang
#51753 [ + | - ] 548
<Kevyn> Ooh PeeTree has his webcam on, and he has GIRLS in his
room. I hope they get naked.
<Uncle_Tobias> WOW GIRLS? WHAT ARE THESE STRANGE THINGS AND DO
THEY COME WITH MAC OS 6?
<Kevyn> That'd be awesome if he left the room for a minute and
the girls started making out, unaware that the webcam was on.
<NuttO> I think it'd be funnier if they pissed in his shoes
when he left the room.
#51746 [ + | - ] 130
<Samantha> What bird was named for what was wrongly thought to
be its country of origin?
<Kevyn> Turkey
<Samantha> Kev is da man
<Kevyn> It was either that or the Mexican
#51716 [ + | - ] 225
<@pork> whats best buy
<@Al> pork: it's a store, they're kind of like the trading
posts you have in australia only with carpet and fewer cured
crocodile hides.
#51669 [ + | - ] 2027
<BlackHawk> LULU: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got
no titties
<LULU> You wear pants don't you?
#51641 [ + | - ] 241
denisbaldwin: I think I love you...
denisbaldwin: So what am I so afraid of...
denisbaldwin: I'm afraid that I'm not sure of...
denisbaldwin: A love there is no cure for.
alexusslave: like herpes?
#51637 [ + | - ] 24
<Tiberiumsun01> I am so lonely, I wish a girl would look at me
<maq> maybe you should wait around in parking lots at night
until one comes by and stuff her in a potato sack
#51627 [ + | - ] 169
<DracoDanMP> i spent all day reading on www.bash.org
<@MalHavoc> and that is why you fail.
<DracoDanMP> then i realized that only a true geek would even
get 99% of the jokes, much less think they were funny
<@MalHavoc> I bet you laughed your ass off all fucking day :P
#51623 [ + | - ] 1184
<EmpressMay> When I was 5, I was in Radio Shack's battery
club.
<RegEdit> The first rule about battery club is you do not talk
about battery club.
#51616 [ + | - ] 47
<CharCoal69> and I made 2 dollars selling cigarettes to
children in third world countries. I told them it was food.
#51615 [ + | - ] 433
<TunkeyMicket> HOLY SHIT MY COMPUTER IS BROADCASTING AN IP
ADDRESS
<TunkeyMicket> HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP
<TunkeyMicket> THIS WINDOW CAME UP
<TunkeyMicket> TOLD ME THAT IT WAS DANGEROUS
#51612 [ + | - ] 176
<DrZaius44> pc load letter? What the fuck is PC load letter??
<CharCoal69> a letter that says "I shot my load. Sorry. --
Your Computer"
#51597 [ + | - ] 179
<b1u3^t3rr0r> bash.org; yet more proof there are people more
fucked up than me.
#51590 [ + | - ] 241
<DA_BUTCHER> Annie will you marry me?
<DA_BUTCHER> I don't care what gender you are!
<|Annie|> shizz
<DA_BUTCHER> I'm Greek
<|Annie|> that's like the 6th time someone's asked me that in
here
<|Annie|> I'll get back to you k ._.
<Scotch> It's your own fault for making your gender so obvious
in your nick
<DA_BUTCHER> yes but the others would freak out if you turned
out to be a 30 year old wrestler named Bernard
#51551 [ + | - ] 276
* Joins: rock (rock@cs24243145-246.houston.rr.com)
<rock> hey
<Capn_Panic> hey
<Shockster> hey
<Capn_Panic> it's fat albert!
#51537 [ + | - ] 226
<eqnox> I need ddr to unlease my full power
<kingBooze> ddr?
<eqnox> dance dance revolution
<kingBooze> I've never played
<kingBooze> is it as fun as everyone says it is?
<bennid> no
<bennid> just gay
<DSmooth> kingBooze: ddr is for ghetto kids
<DSmooth> at the arcade
<DSmooth> and their white trash girlfirends watch them play
<DSmooth> until they've had enough
<DSmooth> then they take them home and beat them
#51528 [ + | - ] 230
<Karp> Who am I to judge myself?
#51519 [ + | - ] 884
* Feren considers quitting his job and starting a small ISP in
the yukon by strapping wireless access points to grizzly
bears.
<JenWolf> That seems only slightly less dangerous than you
current job.
<Feren> I suppose.
* JenWolf can imagine the help desk calls you'd get. "Help, my
access point ate my little brother."
#51517 [ + | - ] 195
<Khey> There was this soap opera on the TV in the customer
lounge at work and there were these black people on it
<Khey> And I thought to myself
<Khey> "Man, why don't they get 'real' black people in soap
operas?"
<duffey> Haha
<Khey> I'm not talking about some upper-middle class
light-skinned 'nigga' either.
<Khey> Some dark-skinned, thugg'd out, bling-blingin', grill'd
up guy.
<Khey> With cornrows and a stocking cap
<Khey> I'd watch soap opera's then.
<Khey> "Oh no, Johnny's mom was kidnapped"
<Khey> "AW SHIT NIGGA I'S FUNNA CAP ME SOME CRACKAS"
<Khey> or something
<Khey> Anyways, enough of Stereotype Theatre with Mr.K
#51498 [ + | - ] 479
<meyowith> almost done cleaning my room :D
<meyowith> now to untangle my wires..
Quit: Meyowith (connection reset by peer)
#51496 [ + | - ] 628
<webby_g[work]> some guy just forgot his login and NEEDED to
print out some work, so I let him login into my account and
print it off, aren't I NICE?
<Zarei> no now all your bases will belong to him
<webby_g[work]> he was supervised, so if he did try to me up
me the bomb, he would have had no chance to survive make his
time.
#51467 [ + | - ] 17
<Champion> id never admit to being homosexual
#51463 [ + | - ] 257
<chadamir> I was gonna call my band 'trebek is god' but we
decided that was a better album name and then we decided not
to use it at all
<kolby> and then you realized there was no band
<kolby> it was just you and a karaoke machine
#51436 [ + | - ] 303
<@i386> NEXT Year, me, skool. pointelss educational films.
susicide
<BenZor> Dude
<BenZor> if you spell like that, it isnt pointless.
#51432 [ + | - ] 70
Kaji: "i think willingly putting your child in a porno comes
under the catergory of unfit parent"
Jallil d'lil 'anonen: depends on the kind of porno...if it
were snuff yeah, but the real classy kind is okay
Kaji: ...mmk
Jallil d'lil 'anonen: pretend I didn't say that
Kaji, Maelthra D' Llaren: i will..
#51425 [ + | - ] 25
<mikaru> thinkgeek.com has some l33t a55 tshirts.
<mikaru> literally/
<autistk> mikaru: dude, I think you'll find they are, in fact,
g3y455 shirts
#51424 [ + | - ] 169
<mikaru> cumshots are amusing.
<autistk> bukkake isn't however.. it's just odd
<autistk> fuckin japanese have to always take a decent idea
and then totally fuck it up
<mikaru> scary part with jap porn is the girls are yelping and
yet the guys arent exactly well endowed, almost as though it's
a porno and not real, but i refuse to belief that.
<autistk> they probably put wasabi on them or something
<mikaru> ahahah
#51418 [ + | - ] 184
<NyseriA> i think i should inform you that i am totally naked
at the keyboard.....and i just sat on a box of screws :
(((((((((((((
<Weebl> is your webcam on nys?
#51403 [ + | - ] 297
<ChineseElite> there is nothing wrong with using linux..
<Threeboy> if that's the lifestyle you wanna live, i wont
judge you.
<Threeboy> i just wont support you at the parades.
#51393 [ + | - ] 357
<essex-> man that was no fart
<essex-> brbrb
#51382 [ + | - ] 636
*  magicsmoke  returns with a mug of coffee that is still
almost black after adding milk
kiri : lol
kiri : that's some heavey coffee then
magicsmoke : i could say that the spoon is standing up in it..
magicsmoke : but i can't see the spoon. i think it's dissolved
Alpha1 : There is no spoon
#51372 [ + | - ] 174
<ragnarok2040> @_@, i have a mouse scratching directly above
my head
<Uzzab0x> trailer mice O_o
* _absent 0_o CKY - Shock and Terror [3:07]
<ragnarok2040> :/ and i can't beat on the ceiling cuz it
messes up the ceiling fan
<ragnarok2040> so i have to ignore it
<Uzzab0x> I pity j00 rag :D
<_absent> haha your trailer is infested with canadians
<_absent> *mice
#51363 [ + | - ] 186
<Sloan|Eat> Aquaman's ancient nemesis is Captain Highliner.
<Goonigoogoo> Aquaman's ancient nemesis is sand
#51356 [ + | - ] -230
Now talking in #blackpower.
* ChanServ changes topic to 'NEW YORK (CNN) -- Jam Master Jay,
the DJ of the longtime rap group Run-DMC, was shot in the head
and killed Wednesday night in a Queens recording studio,
according to New York police. Jay is one dead nigger. One less
aids infected, syphallitic, dreadlocked nigger in the world!'