hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#51753 [ + | - ] 552
<Kevyn> Ooh PeeTree has his webcam on, and he has GIRLS in his
room. I hope they get naked.
<Uncle_Tobias> WOW GIRLS? WHAT ARE THESE STRANGE THINGS AND DO
THEY COME WITH MAC OS 6?
<Kevyn> That'd be awesome if he left the room for a minute and
the girls started making out, unaware that the webcam was on.
<NuttO> I think it'd be funnier if they pissed in his shoes
when he left the room.
#51746 [ + | - ] 134
<Samantha> What bird was named for what was wrongly thought to
be its country of origin?
<Kevyn> Turkey
<Samantha> Kev is da man
<Kevyn> It was either that or the Mexican
#51716 [ + | - ] 226
<@pork> whats best buy
<@Al> pork: it's a store, they're kind of like the trading
posts you have in australia only with carpet and fewer cured
crocodile hides.
#51669 [ + | - ] 2019
<BlackHawk> LULU: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got
no titties
<LULU> You wear pants don't you?
#51641 [ + | - ] 246
denisbaldwin: I think I love you...
denisbaldwin: So what am I so afraid of...
denisbaldwin: I'm afraid that I'm not sure of...
denisbaldwin: A love there is no cure for.
alexusslave: like herpes?
#51637 [ + | - ] 18
<Tiberiumsun01> I am so lonely, I wish a girl would look at me
<maq> maybe you should wait around in parking lots at night
until one comes by and stuff her in a potato sack
#51627 [ + | - ] 177
<DracoDanMP> i spent all day reading on www.bash.org
<@MalHavoc> and that is why you fail.
<DracoDanMP> then i realized that only a true geek would even
get 99% of the jokes, much less think they were funny
<@MalHavoc> I bet you laughed your ass off all fucking day :P
#51623 [ + | - ] 1191
<EmpressMay> When I was 5, I was in Radio Shack's battery
club.
<RegEdit> The first rule about battery club is you do not talk
about battery club.
#51616 [ + | - ] 56
<CharCoal69> and I made 2 dollars selling cigarettes to
children in third world countries. I told them it was food.
#51615 [ + | - ] 440
<TunkeyMicket> HOLY SHIT MY COMPUTER IS BROADCASTING AN IP
ADDRESS
<TunkeyMicket> HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP
<TunkeyMicket> THIS WINDOW CAME UP
<TunkeyMicket> TOLD ME THAT IT WAS DANGEROUS
#51612 [ + | - ] 184
<DrZaius44> pc load letter? What the fuck is PC load letter??
<CharCoal69> a letter that says "I shot my load. Sorry. --
Your Computer"
#51597 [ + | - ] 184
<b1u3^t3rr0r> bash.org; yet more proof there are people more
fucked up than me.
#51590 [ + | - ] 250
<DA_BUTCHER> Annie will you marry me?
<DA_BUTCHER> I don't care what gender you are!
<|Annie|> shizz
<DA_BUTCHER> I'm Greek
<|Annie|> that's like the 6th time someone's asked me that in
here
<|Annie|> I'll get back to you k ._.
<Scotch> It's your own fault for making your gender so obvious
in your nick
<DA_BUTCHER> yes but the others would freak out if you turned
out to be a 30 year old wrestler named Bernard
#51551 [ + | - ] 281
* Joins: rock (rock@cs24243145-246.houston.rr.com)
<rock> hey
<Capn_Panic> hey
<Shockster> hey
<Capn_Panic> it's fat albert!
#51537 [ + | - ] 234
<eqnox> I need ddr to unlease my full power
<kingBooze> ddr?
<eqnox> dance dance revolution
<kingBooze> I've never played
<kingBooze> is it as fun as everyone says it is?
<bennid> no
<bennid> just gay
<DSmooth> kingBooze: ddr is for ghetto kids
<DSmooth> at the arcade
<DSmooth> and their white trash girlfirends watch them play
<DSmooth> until they've had enough
<DSmooth> then they take them home and beat them
#51528 [ + | - ] 238
<Karp> Who am I to judge myself?
#51519 [ + | - ] 888
* Feren considers quitting his job and starting a small ISP in
the yukon by strapping wireless access points to grizzly
bears.
<JenWolf> That seems only slightly less dangerous than you
current job.
<Feren> I suppose.
* JenWolf can imagine the help desk calls you'd get. "Help, my
access point ate my little brother."
#51517 [ + | - ] 202
<Khey> There was this soap opera on the TV in the customer
lounge at work and there were these black people on it
<Khey> And I thought to myself
<Khey> "Man, why don't they get 'real' black people in soap
operas?"
<duffey> Haha
<Khey> I'm not talking about some upper-middle class
light-skinned 'nigga' either.
<Khey> Some dark-skinned, thugg'd out, bling-blingin', grill'd
up guy.
<Khey> With cornrows and a stocking cap
<Khey> I'd watch soap opera's then.
<Khey> "Oh no, Johnny's mom was kidnapped"
<Khey> "AW SHIT NIGGA I'S FUNNA CAP ME SOME CRACKAS"
<Khey> or something
<Khey> Anyways, enough of Stereotype Theatre with Mr.K
#51498 [ + | - ] 488
<meyowith> almost done cleaning my room :D
<meyowith> now to untangle my wires..
Quit: Meyowith (connection reset by peer)
#51496 [ + | - ] 639
<webby_g[work]> some guy just forgot his login and NEEDED to
print out some work, so I let him login into my account and
print it off, aren't I NICE?
<Zarei> no now all your bases will belong to him
<webby_g[work]> he was supervised, so if he did try to me up
me the bomb, he would have had no chance to survive make his
time.
#51467 [ + | - ] 26
<Champion> id never admit to being homosexual
#51463 [ + | - ] 267
<chadamir> I was gonna call my band 'trebek is god' but we
decided that was a better album name and then we decided not
to use it at all
<kolby> and then you realized there was no band
<kolby> it was just you and a karaoke machine
#51436 [ + | - ] 313
<@i386> NEXT Year, me, skool. pointelss educational films.
susicide
<BenZor> Dude
<BenZor> if you spell like that, it isnt pointless.
#51432 [ + | - ] 72
Kaji: "i think willingly putting your child in a porno comes
under the catergory of unfit parent"
Jallil d'lil 'anonen: depends on the kind of porno...if it
were snuff yeah, but the real classy kind is okay
Kaji: ...mmk
Jallil d'lil 'anonen: pretend I didn't say that
Kaji, Maelthra D' Llaren: i will..
#51425 [ + | - ] 24
<mikaru> thinkgeek.com has some l33t a55 tshirts.
<mikaru> literally/
<autistk> mikaru: dude, I think you'll find they are, in fact,
g3y455 shirts
#51424 [ + | - ] 176
<mikaru> cumshots are amusing.
<autistk> bukkake isn't however.. it's just odd
<autistk> fuckin japanese have to always take a decent idea
and then totally fuck it up
<mikaru> scary part with jap porn is the girls are yelping and
yet the guys arent exactly well endowed, almost as though it's
a porno and not real, but i refuse to belief that.
<autistk> they probably put wasabi on them or something
<mikaru> ahahah
#51418 [ + | - ] 188
<NyseriA> i think i should inform you that i am totally naked
at the keyboard.....and i just sat on a box of screws :
(((((((((((((
<Weebl> is your webcam on nys?
#51403 [ + | - ] 299
<ChineseElite> there is nothing wrong with using linux..
<Threeboy> if that's the lifestyle you wanna live, i wont
judge you.
<Threeboy> i just wont support you at the parades.
#51393 [ + | - ] 366
<essex-> man that was no fart
<essex-> brbrb
#51382 [ + | - ] 646
*  magicsmoke  returns with a mug of coffee that is still
almost black after adding milk
kiri : lol
kiri : that's some heavey coffee then
magicsmoke : i could say that the spoon is standing up in it..
magicsmoke : but i can't see the spoon. i think it's dissolved
Alpha1 : There is no spoon
#51372 [ + | - ] 180
<ragnarok2040> @_@, i have a mouse scratching directly above
my head
<Uzzab0x> trailer mice O_o
* _absent 0_o CKY - Shock and Terror [3:07]
<ragnarok2040> :/ and i can't beat on the ceiling cuz it
messes up the ceiling fan
<ragnarok2040> so i have to ignore it
<Uzzab0x> I pity j00 rag :D
<_absent> haha your trailer is infested with canadians
<_absent> *mice
#51363 [ + | - ] 191
<Sloan|Eat> Aquaman's ancient nemesis is Captain Highliner.
<Goonigoogoo> Aquaman's ancient nemesis is sand
#51356 [ + | - ] -215
Now talking in #blackpower.
* ChanServ changes topic to 'NEW YORK (CNN) -- Jam Master Jay,
the DJ of the longtime rap group Run-DMC, was shot in the head
and killed Wednesday night in a Queens recording studio,
according to New York police. Jay is one dead nigger. One less
aids infected, syphallitic, dreadlocked nigger in the world!'
#51344 [ + | - ] 876
-->  ( join )  josiejaz
(~jimmie@hide-53860.dial.tor1.sprint-canada.net) joined (#
linux).
( josiejaz )  fucking god damn peice of s**t ISP
( Eric )  i love how you cencored "shit"
( Eric )  but forgot fucking and damn
#51331 [ + | - ] 393
(@virt) cracker barrel is the most hilarious name for a place
where a bunch of white people go
#51330 [ + | - ] 475
<vrit> mm* = hi, we're capcom. we don't need to come up with
new ideas for games. here, enjoy street fighter vs marvel vs
snk vs megaman vs taliban vs n'sync alpha super gold turbo
extreme zero mega ultra double-stuf supreme extra value combo
4x
#51313 [ + | - ] 469
<upper-> it fears change
<upper-> just like grandmas that refuse to use microwave ovens
<vlMbh> my grandmother used to warm up her microwave oven!
<vlMbh> i went over for dinner one day and she turned it on
for 4 mins on
high
<vlMbh> with nothing in it
<vlMbh> i was like.. uhh what ARE you doing
<vlMbh> " warming it up "
#51256 [ + | - ] 171
<@Toys> i got allways with wings in the mail today
<@Toys> it comes with dry weave, and wings, and optional
fuckign sunroof <@Toys> i tried one on and i didn't feel
CONFIDENT
<@Toys> i felt WORRIED as fuck
<@Toys> i'm using them for coffee filters now
#51240 [ + | - ] 280
*** ChanServ (ChanServ@Services.EnterTheGame.Com) Quit
(Aussie-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com)
*** BuM (~bum@ool-18bf3781.dyn.optonline.net) Quit
(Aussie-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com)
*** igl|Quew{nBw} (~Quew@d150-29-112.home.cgocable.net) Quit
(Aussie-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com)
*** deftik (~deftik@ptd-24-194-205-26.maine.rr.com) Quit
(Aussie-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com)
<}{^{end}`sk00l> Netsplit Detected Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com
from: Aussie-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com
<Nemephosis> thanks for telling us after the fact
<Nemephosis> isn't that like getting hit by a car then having
someone say "dude there's a car coming"
#51239 [ + | - ] 394
<Jahidi> love is just when two people decide to stalk each
other.
#51237 [ + | - ] 397
<+[SFX]Newbie0> I had a dog once
<+[SFX]Newbie0> my mom always told me when I got a boo-boo, to
let the dog lick it
<+[SFX]Newbie0> said it was antiseptic
<+[SFX]Newbie0> One time, I had a sore throat
<@[EoK]cheaptrick> I can see where this is going..
<+[SFX]Newbie0> God I miss that dog
<@[EoK]cheaptrick> ew..
<+|WM|ePi> haha
#51234 [ + | - ] 428
*** Martin has joined #Lostones
<Martin> word
<roy> indeed
<roy> but the question is
<roy> WHICH word?
<roy> her word?
<roy> My word?
<roy> HIS WORD?
<roy> it all depends...
<roy> on whose word.
*** Martin has quit IRC
#51232 [ + | - ] 206
(ManiPan84) so what are you doing?
(OoO0O0Oo0o) taking pieces of conversations and manipulating
them to suit my sadistic needs
#51231 [ + | - ] 466
<UberDuper> I need an optical mouse.
<UberDuper> My balls keep getting all crusty.
#51226 [ + | - ] 178
* Kristoph is a 16 year old trance / hard house DJ from
sheffield, anyone wanna pretend to be a girl and talk about
masturbation?
#51214 [ + | - ] 249
<special-k> woohoo sodomy law changed
<`rush> FUCK YEAH
#51204 [ + | - ] -90
<Autumnn> Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how
long she slept.
#51200 [ + | - ] 102
* I^Need^A^GirL^IN^MY^LifE was kicked by CityWoman (banned:
Try a date service.)
#51199 [ + | - ] 390
<+WAREZmunkey> owwww shit
<+WAREZmunkey> i just managed to put a staple into my tongue
<+WAREZmunkey> teach me to chew on it i suppose
<graeme> I cannot even begin to imagine the sequence of steps
that caused to to accidentally staple your tongue.
<+WAREZmunkey> ok i will rephrase it
<+WAREZmunkey> i just stupidly put a staple into my tongue
<Lithium> LOL
#51196 [ + | - ] 1024
* Idiot has quit IRC
<ChineseElite`> that'll be the day...