hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21122 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#52491 [ + | - ] 1002
<Boogieman> possibly the wierdest thing ever just happend.
<Boogieman> I really had to take a piss so I ran to the
bathroom.
<Boogieman> and I ran into the room, but I didn't know that my
dad put a new mat in there.
<Boogieman> Ususally bathroom mats have those anti slip things
on the bottom, but this one didn't
<Boogieman> and I sliped, smashed my shoulder on the toiled,
pissed myself, and cried out in pain
<Boogieman> my dad comes down and is like "what happened!?...
wait, you know what, I don't want to know" and then goes
upstairs
#52478 [ + | - ] 7
<Emiko> a if u turn off ur computer and ur dl something in IRC
would it still dl or u have to dl it again??
#52477 [ + | - ] 240
Dr SpaZZo: Why the hell do they call it fox undercover when
they just go up to the people on the street and go "WHY R U
SWINDALING TEH COMMUN PUBLIK :-("
#52462 [ + | - ] 482
<Cloe> be quiet or i'll beat you like a rented mule
<Crowley> you abuse your rented pack animals?
<Cloe> yes, i do
<Cloe> now carry my stuff up the trail
<Crowley> suck my huge donkey dick
#52457 [ + | - ] 113
<Geollum> The third volume of the trilogy is no better, Yott
insists. Creatures with dark faces, black eyes and long black
hair coming from the east and the south and wielding scimitars
is obviously racist, he says.
<Chronologist> lol....
<Geollum> Ok, it's not OUR fault that black has come to
associate Evil
<KeeperX> OMG
<KeeperX> THE LOTR HAS HAD BAD INFLUENCE ON ME
* KeeperX goes to the south and kills some dark skinned people
wielding scimitars
#52449 [ + | - ] 221
<pyre> I need to download more hardware
#52426 [ + | - ] 317
<MvCrash> I did it DOGGY style with my wife this morning.....
<MvCrash> I begged... she rolled over and played DEAD!!!
#52412 [ + | - ] 628
<Brookes_Baby> Hey does anyone have an idea of what I could
get for my collection of Final Fantasy games?
<Kevyn> Not laid.
#52407 [ + | - ] 63
<Ronwe> /slap -chainsaw "joojoo"
<joojoo> /slap -cock "Ronwe"
<joojoo> =x~
<Ronwe> it's not big enough to hurt
<joojoo> Text generally doesn't.
<Ronwe> interesting... your cock is text
<joojoo> Whoever said that?
<joojoo> Whoever said I was using my "cock"~#@E Q&!#*(
<joojoo> AHAH
<joojoo> WOW LETS GET ANALLY TECHNICAL NOW =]
<Ronwe> Do me a favour
<Ronwe> Don't use the word anal when we're talking about cocks
#52404 [ + | - ] 920
<shavenwookiee> SHIT!
<shavenwookiee> my sister is home now, with friends.
<shavenwookiee> so ends the walking around nude fun I was
having.
<Antiarc> Heh...sister comes home with friends to find brother
walking about house, nude.
<Antiarc> Sounds like the setup for a porn movie
<shavenwookiee> uh, gross?
<shavenwookiee> that's my sister, dude.
<shavenwookiee> I grew out of that.
<shavenwookiee> er.. I MEAN..
#52398 [ + | - ] 328
<chintss> how do i configure ftp http and telnet  in RH 8.0
<chintss> plzzzzz
<tictac> chintss: rtfm
<chintss> tictac : rtfm: command not found
#52370 [ + | - ] 132
<Sandino> christ, Im pushing 30 and Ive never driven a car, I
need a life application not a job one
#52340 [ + | - ] 442
<TurboYoda> what is bash.org?
<TurboYoda> Is it suitable for Me?
<fezm0nkey> Its a gay sex site.
<fezm0nkey> Hardcore anal fun.
<TurboYoda> I'll visit it when nobody's home
#52337 [ + | - ] 474
* webby_g well chuffed now
<[smee]> lol
<[smee]> make me feel it, hurt me!
<DeuxVisage> guess this was the wrong time to walk in on a
conversation
<DeuxVisage> take your bondage elsewhere
<[smee]> i like her when she plays her dominatrix role
<webby_g> who?
<[smee]> you!
<webby_g> omg
<webby_g> YOU THINK IM FEMALE?
#52328 [ + | - ] 659
*** klaas-sinterkla has joined #photoshop
<klaas-sinterkla> hellol
<klaas-sinterkla> who knows the programm photoshop
<@Anapaest> what kind of programm is it?
<klaas-sinterkla> It's about websites n stuff
<@Anapaest> better ask in #website-stuff then
<klaas-sinterkla> k, thx
*** klaas-sinterkla has left #photoshop
#52303 [ + | - ] 509
<EvilJoven> millions of dollars from various governments,
business and NGOs spent on developing hardware, protocols,
software and you people use it to pretend to fart at each
other...
#52302 [ + | - ] 209
<ClosedGL> tar -xzf willy.gz;touch muh_woody;head -n 1 &&
mount /cho/momma && echo >$1 "Harder!\n";dd if=/dev/beans of=/
cho/momma/face count=1 bs=spoonfull && umount /cho/momma &&
sleep 15.
#52282 [ + | - ] 288
<@CoMPLeX[a]> im booting man
<@CoMPLeX[a]> nite nite
<@Vedran> now im gonna b bored
<@CoMPLeX[a]> nah
<@CoMPLeX[a]> just keep pasting quotes
<@Inf3kTeZ> lol
<@CoMPLeX[a]> ill set a timer to say ROFL every 5 mins
#52279 [ + | - ] 178
<thursday-> who invented lol
<thursday-> do they get royalties
#52270 [ + | - ] 522
<CelestialFool> You know, cheetos are actually really good,
you just can't stop muching on these things. Ive had about 2
bags worth already
<CelestialFool> Oh shit, diahrrea
<Kamiru> Dangerously cheesy indeed
#52267 [ + | - ] 44
<@HomeBrewR> "This combo includes a great Asus XP motherboard
with onboard video+audio, AMD Athlon XP 2000+ processor with
cooling fan & 256MB PC133 SDRAM memory" heh...no bottleneck
there
<@DeadKenne> yikes pc133 ram?!
<@HomeBrewR> dk, yeah...exactly
<@DeadKenne> that's kind of like tying one arm and a leg
together, then trying to run a race
<@da4> hehe
<@DeadKenne> you'll make it there... eventually
<@DeadKenne> the cpu must have to idle alot
<@da4> "designed by Apple hardware engineers"
#52251 [ + | - ] 283
<Terrorwolf>YES! NOS CHOOL!
<ALW>Sounds like you need to get your ass back there to me.
#52229 [ + | - ] 1275
* okram is sad
<@Aslan> why are you sad, Okram?
<okram> one of my fellow clan mates in tfc died in a car
accident
<Tomalak> Didn't he respawn?
#52207 [ + | - ] 177
<PuchikoChan> it's like the least spoken strand of jewish
language
<PuchikoChan> like some kinda porno movie
<PuchikoChan> eerrr, disregard that last comment
<SkyLancer> err
* js8|finals wonders how tera went from linguistics to porn in
one sentence
#52193 [ + | - ] 568
<KoaL> smuggling drugs into Jamaica is like smuggling slimfast
into Ethiopia
#52186 [ + | - ] 222
<Cyclonus> Fucking paper plate cut my finger!
<Red_Sky> Cast it into the DARK corner of the basement!
<MossadMan> Along with the fish heads and condoms.
<Red_Sky> Condoms, why the hell would he have those?
<Red_Sky> That's like Jesus buying waterwings.
<Red_Sky> He ain't nevah gonna use 'em!
#52174 [ + | - ] 174
<JynxDaddy> 3boy should i get it 2nd hand?
<Threeboy> its a book man.
<Threeboy> the worst thing that can be in it is semen.
<Threeboy> go for it.
<JynxDaddy> :|
#52155 [ + | - ] 368
<-- debutante has quit (This is for the guys who are
mastrubating: LARGE BLEEDING ASSHOLE. (Hopefully that made you
limp.))
<Pixelated> limp !
<Pixelated> that got me rock hard
<hardlined> you too?
<hardlined> Got a cam?
#52154 [ + | - ] 510
<Gwuffy> i found one mistake in harry potter 2 :)
<Gwuffy> not a biggy but i saw it both times
<CoRDS> that people cant fly on broomsticks?
#52141 [ + | - ] 133
<Al-Koholik> hm
<Al-Koholik> I have a taste for violence
<Al-Koholik> IE quake 3
<LuisX> Internet Explorer Quake 3?
#52136 [ + | - ] 531
<LIQuid> my mom is convinced that i need milk
<LIQuid> yeah well i tell her that i dont need to be
artifically breast feed by genetically altered and enhanced
cows
<LIQuid> all she says "dont make me get your father"
<Deke> your dad is going to breastfeed you?
#52125 [ + | - ] 233
notkmad: whats the 35 for
Stemp35: how many times I give head a week
iluvduke213105: wjat?
iluvduke213105: what are u talkin about?
Stemp35: he asked me what the 35 meant on my name
notkmad: and the same goes for the 213105 ?
#52112 [ + | - ] 1254
<Billo3121> i need to douche my asscrack in the shower
<Billo3121> later dudes
* Billo3121 is now known as Billo|douching
<@trollusk> ... that's it. i'm done with irc.
#52100 [ + | - ] 249
<dredg> I drove a Lotus Esprit S2 today
<dredg> it was nice
<chevrofreak> i jerked off today
<chevrofreak> it was boring
<dredg> heh
<dredg> I'm... *yawn*... cumming...
<dredg> *looks at watch*
<chevrofreak> yeah basically
#52089 [ + | - ] 336
<@Zigatoola> man i wish my dick wasnt so big, I get sick of my
gf saying it hurts when I slam into her
<Eastsidaz> «Zigatoola» yeah.. a 12 yrs old get easily scared
of a 4 inch dick
#52087 [ + | - ] 794
<Mog> Anyone else having extreme AIM problems?
<Seifer> Nope.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Yeah. I can't seem to fuckin' pee in the bowl
today. >:
<rabid_si[FFX]> It's all up the fuckin' walls.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Er...
<rabid_si[FFX]> Oh.
<Mog> ...
<Seifer> Lol.
<rabid_si[FFX]> You mean AOL Instant Messenger.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Right...
* rabid_si[FFX] whistles.
#52083 [ + | - ] 95
*** Joins: Currawon1
(~currawong@GizNet-43538.b.006.syd.iprimus.net.au)
*** Quits: Currawong (~currawong@210.50.98.GizNet-34072)
(Client exited)
<KGL-900> Currawong, if you ever want to kill your ghost, the
command is: /msg giznick ghost KGL-900 steamshovel
#52063 [ + | - ] 164
*** VirginUmboo has joined #html
<VirginUmboo> lo
<VirginUmboo> how do i gret a shocwave file in my html?
* Anapaest googles for "gret"
*** VirginUmboo has left #html
#52056 [ + | - ] 492
<@kram> !banme wibble
* @Arrow throws a brick at wibble
<@kram> cool
<@Smidge204> !banme everyone else
* @Arrow throws a brick at everyone else
<Stryke> !banme
* Arrow sets mode: +b *!
*bopper@dialup-63.214.93.70.Dial1.Boston1.Level3.net
* Stryke was kicked by Arrow (You fell for it; hook, line, and
sinker.)
#52041 [ + | - ] 310
* KiLLerMiK has joined #tonyhawksproskater
<KiLLerMiK> are we talking about tony hawk?
<bens0nio> mmm wendy's bacon cheeseburger
<KiLLerMiK> best combo?
<bens0nio> best combo is #2
#52036 [ + | - ] 192
(@|404|Destro): you just got banned from #life, nerd.
#52034 [ + | - ] 11
<toddzilla> wtf, why does paypal take so goddamn long to clear
things now
<toddzilla> paid for on the 2nd, expected clear date on the
6th.. bullshit
<#1 Webbie> Because EBay bought them out
#52029 [ + | - ] 167
<@synec> with only 32 bits of address space, it's no wonder we
all keep bumping into each other
#52028 [ + | - ] 301
<@humble> soliciting sex with an underage minor gets +2
sentence points for using a computer
<@jsb> you've got jail
#52022 [ + | - ] 328
redpoint13: brb
MoRgAn4978: k
redpoint13: back
MoRgAn4978: that was fast
redpoint13: yea i pee in a bucket near my desk
#52021 [ + | - ] 353
<Vaun> need something good to read for like 10 min
<Vaun> anyone have an interesting thread / link / etc
<Dzza|Wants-SI> i once read a book
<Dzza|Wants-SI> it was about a giant blob eating the school
<Dzza|Wants-SI> but then a fat kid ate the blog
<Vaun> anyone else?
#52013 [ + | - ] 59
<Brainstew> Eww..
<Brainstew> If you think somethign is chocolate on your
keyboard, but your not sure...Don't stick it in your mouth.
<Citation> let alone on your penis.
#52006 [ + | - ] 86
<Thep> I want to clean up bio-waste
<Sora> Um.
<Sora> Hint: That involves other people's shit and piss.
<Sora> And amputees wiggling their stumps at you and moaning.
That always creeped me out.
<Thep> I'd like to retract my last statement during the minute
of 5:30 EST
<Sora> Ah ha ha
<Sora> Yeah.
#52004 [ + | - ] 97
twinturbo: hmm, why is my name green on the right?
Swinny0: coz it's teelin you that's YOU
barnz: to show which one is you
twinturbo: like i don't know?
barnz: indeed
Swinny0: some don't!!
#52000 [ + | - ] 229
<_pLaGueD_> do you know a cheat for invincibility?
<Dead_One> yeah
<_pLaGueD_> how?
<Dead_One> type bind "mouse1" "kill"
<Dead_One> it blows up what ever you are looking at