hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21122 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#52916 [ + | - ] 1875
<gleep> Heh.  You people don't want to hear how one of my
ex-bosses performed a mercy killing on a family's cat at their
request.
<Sypher-Ryn> Yes we do
<gleep> I actually think it's quite funny.
<Sypher-Ryn> come on!! Mercy killings!
<me^2> tell us
<DrCloud> o.O;
<ashie> O.O
<gleep> He was visiting a cousin's family, they lived out on
in the country.  While he was there, they told them about
their cat that was really old, and had gotten quite sick.  The
vet had told them they should have it put to sleep.  But they
just couldn't do it... they started to drive it the 20 miles
to the vet a couple times but never got very far.
<gleep> So when he was talking to their dad, he said he could
take care of it.  He had his pistol in his truck.  So that
evening he finds the cat and takes it out back of the house.
<gleep> (Don't read this, sensative viewers! ) So he's out
there with his 357, looking down at the cat, who really /was/
in horrible shape.  So he's about to shoot the cat when...
Something came over him.  He stuck his foot under the cat and
kicked it into the air... and shot it midair.  The 357 blew
the poor critter to bits.  Then he turns around and sees...
The ENTIRE FAMILY staring at him through the picture window.
<FJ> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
<ashie> best story ever
#52908 [ + | - ] 291
<sh-> integration is shit
<sh-> math style, not rosa parks style
#52896 [ + | - ] 366
Saikoesis: 2. A Singapore singing group by the name of "The
Oriental
Singers," sang non-stop for 74 hours and five minutes.
XDarkMindedX: Is that when they got taken out by snipers?
#52867 [ + | - ] 394
<@DREAD_0> you now, the only reason yanks spell phonetically
is you're all too stupid to understand the intircasies of the
english language, it's nothign to be proud of
<@DREAD_0> and yes, i realise i cant spell intricacies
<Azhrarn> nothign?
<@DREAD_0> or nothing
<Azhrarn> or know
#52857 [ + | - ] 139
<@Shadur> MeLearnin: Go away and die.
* MeLearnin :(
<@Shadur> s/MeLearnin/Meaz
< MeLearnin> s/:(/:)/g
#52842 [ + | - ] 98
<Valqorez> I didn't even get laid
<Valqorez> but there's always tomoromw
<McCormick> won't happend
<McCormick> you"'l have a headache
<Valqorez> Nope - I dont have hangovers
<Daedalus> you're going about it wrong
<Daedalus> YOU getting drunk won't get you laid
<Daedalus> getting the girl drunk will get you laid :)
#52839 [ + | - ] 155
<Melchizedek> hmm..listening to songs without the eq turned on
is strangely empty yet pure
<Crimsonmonkey> like masturbating
#52835 [ + | - ] 613
<Hawkon> you know.. we (they guys who got on internet in the
early 90's using 14.4kbps modems)
<Hawkon> are alot better in bed
<Hawkon> cause we had to hang tight with that wank till the
damn nude pic got downloaded
#52828 [ + | - ] 617
<Carlton> "listening socket" = 11,100 google hits. "passive
socket" = 1,240 google hits.
<Carlton> listening wins. :)
<Carlton> We should just let Google make all our decisions for
us.
<_Bunny> Carlton: "gay" has 65,000,000 hits.  "straight" has
14,300.000.
#52802 [ + | - ] 645
Acire1134:Damn dog keeps fallin off my clock
Impala33157:O.O
Impala33157:I SO read that wrong
#52799 [ + | - ] 152
Lundquist: d00d whats SHP
Boba Fett: what's shp?
Lundquist: sorry it seems that some pharmacy students are
sending me there cw
Boba Fett: hahaha wtf for?
Lundquist: they think im a lecturer, ive just sent them a mail
back saying they failed the year for blantant cheating
#52780 [ + | - ] 303
<hoolar> i haf to go in to the doctor to get my colon examed
tommorow
<tReMeR> At least its not a anal exam!
<tReMeR> o wait..
#52775 [ + | - ] 996
<Wealllike> what this "uber" you see so often?
<timmo> uber - german for over or above
<Wealllike> I know that
<Wealllike> I'm german
<Wealllike> but you write it ü
<Wealllike> über
<Inuki> how appropriate. a german being a spelling nazi :P
#52773 [ + | - ] 142
<Mr_|r0n> Do ANYBODY have a program who hack Linux Root
password
<solarisx-> type /con/con and it will open a hacking window
then you type /hack * and it will teach you about it
<Mr_|r0n> con/con Unknown command
<solarisx-> fuck, you dont have it
<Mr_|r0n> were do i get it ?
<solarisx-> www.penis.com
*** Mr_|r0n has parted the channel
#52763 [ + | - ] 331
<dcsteve> is there a way to easily convert a mac game to pc
<SinisterTengu> yeah...I don't think you can just "convert" it
<dcsteve> why not
<dcsteve> mac and pc keyboards are virtually the same
#52757 [ + | - ] 710
<Erth2rst> I'm seventeen years old, I'm home alone, sitting
here naked, and I'm rubbing my nipples.
<Erth2rst> If only I were female..
#52747 [ + | - ] 744
<WrkEagle> Phalynx: Ah, but can you conjugate "Vodka?"
<Phalynx> WrkEagle: Sure, the past tense is "money", and the
future tense is "drunk"
#52731 [ + | - ] 166
(Munkee): ban MunkeeFucker
*** eek sets mode: +b *!*munkee@???.blueyonder.co.uk
*** yay sets mode: +b *!*ArseSucke@???.???.???.???
*** Munkee was kicked by eek (oof - don't use bad words)
*** MunkeeFucker was kicked by yay (oof)
#52729 [ + | - ] 164
<NuttO> "Spammers are those morally challenged induhviduals
and organisations that steal resources, hijack mailservers and
trample over every Term of Service and Acceptable Use Policy
that stands in their way in their quest to dump unsollicitated
mail into your mailbox." http://216.127.43.94/angel/img/dp/
dp0001.jpg
<NuttO> I like how somebody who draws angels fucking each
other is morally outraged by spammers.
#52716 [ + | - ] 339
<@Max> this ball spinning crap is crazy
<@Max> this guy would be popular at a rave :P
<@Alice`> Anyone at a rave would be popular
<@Alice`> "HOLY SHIT THAT GUY HAS TWO LEGS OMFG WTF LOOOOL
BONG 420"
#52704 [ + | - ] 633
<sit`> one of my female coworkers remarked about how i was
cutting up my apple with great care so i said "you have to
treat it like a woman, cut it in thin slices"
<sit`> didn't go over to well for some reason
#52697 [ + | - ] 346
<Louie[laptop]> i read an article
<Louie[laptop]> on a dude that sold 486's
<Louie[laptop]> and passed them off as p2's
<Louie[laptop]> and shit
<err-afk> haha
<Louie[laptop]> and it took a while for people to catch on
<Louie[laptop]> stoopid people
<cheesegoduk> lol how could people not notice that they could
only run windows 3.1 on them
THEJRC[work]> naah you can get 98 and 2k to run on a 486
<THEJRC[work]> just runs like christopher reeves
#52689 [ + | - ] 40
(@Niall): whoa homeless guy gets life for raping a 13 y/o and
3 women....tbh if i were homeless i might try sommat like that
#52688 [ + | - ] 7
<Louie[laptop]> http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&
item=2078843925
<err-afk> Louie
<err-afk> dont ebay anymore
<Louie[laptop]> why not
<Louie[laptop]> i am gonna buy some xeon workstations
<err-afk> some guy got arrested
<Louie[laptop]> why
<err-afk> for a big ebay scam
<Louie[laptop]> oh i dont participate in ebay scams
<cheesegoduk> yeah its only happened once
#52677 [ + | - ] 3
<pReM> my brother learnt me how to wank
#52675 [ + | - ] 6
<trankillity> if you've heard of greg packer maybe
<trankillity> he's an aussie jungle dj
<+srph> jungle dj
<+srph> i keep thinking of pubic hair
<+srph> shit ... to much bash.org
#52671 [ + | - ] 928
<Helix> fuck
<Helix> my back right tire is flat
<Helix> this is lame
<Owashawa> change it and put the spare on
<Owashawa> problem solved
<Helix> then i have to change it
<Helix> and its cold
<Helix> and wet and shit
<irn> You fucking girl
<irn> get out there
<irn> What if your wife's water broke and you had to take her
to hospital, eh?
<Helix> it'd make it
<Helix> besides, that's what ambulances are for
<irn> what if your vehicle IS the ambulance?
<Helix> ill know a thing or two about assiting birth
<Helix> besides, im gay and exempt from your question
<irn> What if your boyfriend got stuck in an inflatable suit
during a balloon fetish romp?
<Helix> id masterbate until i passed out
#52661 [ + | - ] 282
<+NikitaDk> The problem is that God gave men both a penis and
a brain, but only blood enough to control one organ at a
time... Robin Williams
<+Challii> ha ha ha ha ha ha
<+Challii> and it gave women too much blood that they had to
get rid of a load of it each month
#52658 [ + | - ] 211
<Kmart-X17> I have a nice life sucking guys dicks
<Kmart-X17> typo
#52656 [ + | - ] 476
<TenBaseT> This computer lab is 47.54 degrees F
<TenBaseT> christ.
<TenBaseT> I coult type with my nipples.
* ataX hits /clear
#52654 [ + | - ] 191
<_wookie_> hehe Eli was just telling me a funny story, she was
helping someone in the building here who couldn't open a jpg
in Photoshop, everytime she clicked it would open the image in
IE,  when she showed her how she wanted to know how to remove
the border from the image, eli had to explain that the image
had no border, that was the photoshop application surrounding
the picture.
<elo> thats advanced n00bism ;-)
#52651 [ + | - ] 560
(@`H4X0R`) Rape is such a negative term, I think we should
call it "suprise sex"]
#52645 [ + | - ] 727
<PONGO> ok... this is my first time on IRC
<PONGO> how do I start my own channel?
<Optikal> just join a channel that doesn't exist
<PONGO> nice try
<PONGO> =)
#52644 [ + | - ] 203
<DeterminedLilBitch> Daishi dont talk
<Daishi> ?
<Daishi> i talk
<DeterminedLilBitch> not to me
<Daishi> i just wait till some one says my name and it flashes
green
<Daishi> then i talk
<Daishi> its like sitting at a red light all day
#52642 [ + | - ] 264
(Smidge|Proggin) Someone's been usin' my computer...
(Smidge|Proggin) They tainted it by visiting aol.com
(Smidge|Proggin) I feel violated
#52635 [ + | - ] 242
<comet_11> ooh! 33 new emails
<comet_11> let's see what they are...
<comet_11> product spam, loan spam, loan spam, survey spam,
product spam, sex spam, product spam, virus spam, porn spam,
product spam, product spam, contest spam, loan spam, product
spam, product spam, loan spam, online payment spam, fake porn
virus spam, education spam, product spam, fake contact virus
spam, contest spam, product spam, loan spam, product spam,
product spam, fake virus cleaner virus spam, fake chick email
virus spam, product spam, (cont)
<comet_11> fake update virus spam, fake questionnaire virus
spam, loan spam
<comet_11> you know... it's nice to see some variety in my
emails
#52603 [ + | - ] 1228
<Khaen> Oh boy, the sky is very #9966FF today!
#52580 [ + | - ] 332
<anarch> i think I may assfuck the turks
<anarch> i owe them
<anarch> 2 centuries of occupation has made me bitter
<Mr_Poppinfresh> dude, you're not Serbian
<anarch> im roleplaying
#52577 [ + | - ] 286
<DrkNrg`> i once knew a man who took some acid and he thort he
was a fire engine, it was kinda funny until he pissed on my
lighter
#52561 [ + | - ] 69
<Apollo-> I would pay for one of you guys to come slob my knob
though ;)
* Uncouth perks.
<Uncouth> Apollo-: how much?
<Apollo-> Uncouth: $1 per minute, $1 penalty per minute after
the first minute ;)
#52551 [ + | - ] 317
<NuttO> "The proposal includes the prohibition of Mortal
Kombat, Resident Evil, Turck, the House of the Dead, Duke
Nukem, Shadowman, Quake, Instinct Killer, Doom, the Legacy of
Kain, Street Fighter and Perfect Dark."
<NuttO> I'm sure they'll see a drop in violent crimes in
twenty years thanks to this ban.
<Cordelia> and in 30 years, Asia Minor will defeat Oceana
#52547 [ + | - ] 835
<Shark> i'm the only human that has actually seen the loch
ness monster
<SeXyBW> is that what you call it now shark?
<Shark> haha, that's what i call my dick
<SeXyBW> so you are the only one that has seen it eh
#52546 [ + | - ] 214
<rev> mel has nipples like sausages
<Melissa> links or patties?
#52519 [ + | - ] 2
* temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has joined #ultima
<temAjinsDawg> I have ultima IV, on SMS......best SMS game
ever
<temAjinsDawg> people say itS hard to find....is that tRue?
<temAjinsDawg> I boughT it for $2
<temAjinsDawg> yeaH ok.....don'T all talk at onCe
<temAjinsDawg> hellllllllllllllllooo
<temAjinsDawg> phukking answer me!!!!!!!
<temAjinsDawg> Do you want me to unleash my horde of script
kiddies???
<temAjinsDawg> I have many who do what i ask, in return for
wareZ
<temAjinsDawg> so answer
<temAjinsDawg> pleasE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<temAjinsDawg> i am asking nicely now......answer me
<temAjinsDawg> phuck you all.......i have your
IP's.......expect trouble!......have a nice day!
* temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has left #ultima
* temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has joined #ultima
* temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has left #ultima
#52518 [ + | - ] 94
<poo_al> i used to have "bromothymol blue" in my memory
buffer.
<poo_al> then i copied the girlskissing url
<poo_al> and pasted that into my lab
<poo_al> too bad i found it
<poo_al> my teacher would have given me a 110% if i left it in
:(
#52515 [ + | - ] 385
<trashcan> studpid email
<trashcan> Subject:Massive Cocks, 14 inch cocks ripping open
tight teen cunt holes
<trashcan> WHO thinks of these things
<PhD> i heardly think world health organization has time to
think up of spam email titles
#52512 [ + | - ] 238
harleyb: we're not dumb like that up in canda
harleyb: and we can also spell our countrie's name
harleyb: and use proper everything
harleyb: *country's
#52503 [ + | - ] 1044
<neural> i wish my motherboard would find a fatherboard so i
could have anotherboard
#52501 [ + | - ] 305
<Graphic_V> Remember when you turned 18 and you could finally
start looking at those naked people on the internet?
#52499 [ + | - ] 508
<Toad> My two best friends don't use the internet :(
<Slime> Ryu and Ken aren't real people though, Toad