hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21122 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#53462 [ + | - ] 136
<bunneh> he used to talk to my mate and he admitted to liking
me and the next day we found out we were related...
#53457 [ + | - ] 100
<TreeSquid> he's not foreign, just stupid
#53456 [ + | - ] 304
<codewolf> I need a new toy, I've played with this one enough
<codewolf> maybe a Z4
<Teatime> Or a miata.
<Teatime> codewolf: A ferrari.
<Teatime> Or an RUF Porsche
<fluffy> Teatime: or he could just save a lot of money and get
a sign that says "im insecure about the size of my penis."
#53451 [ + | - ] -5
<Dave_The_Insane[depressed]> whats with all the netsplits?
<Rodzilla> J0 MAMA
<Dave_The_Insane[depressed]> o_O
<Rodzilla> SHE'S SO FAT SHE SPLIT THE FREAKING INTERNET IN
HALF
<Rodzilla> AHAAHAHAHAHHAH
#53448 [ + | - ] 148
[@ToastyX] I almost typed cd / to try to leave a channel
#53419 [ + | - ] 168
<Oliver> uni is too hardcore for me
<Oliver> spent 2 days there
<Oliver> could hardly walk
<teles> lol :)
<teles> that'll teach you to visit the toilets in the art
school :p
#53382 [ + | - ] 27
<nuance> er s/./,
<cherub> don't forget to s/0,5/0.5/!
<nuance> regexp nazi
<cherub> s/nazi/victim/
#53353 [ + | - ] 381
<NightO> Jesus is coming, everyone, look busy!!
--- solicit sets ban on jesus!*@*
#53346 [ + | - ] 102
<Kruge> I think there should be a seperate internet for ugly
bitches
<Kruge> suuuure, if you wanna take amateur porn pics of
yourself, you go right ahead.  But post them on the Ugly Bitch
Web
#53338 [ + | - ] 349
<AL9000> hehe, I called up one of my female friends today
while I was naked
<AL9000> I was actually slapping it around to see if she'd ask
what that noise was
#53327 [ + | - ] 134
<tokumei> green tea incense yo
<tokumei> and no pot for me today
<PFunk> Trying to quit?
<JeffreyAtW> Ooh, Toku's turning Republican and lying about
his heavy drug use instead of admitting it
#53321 [ + | - ] 364
<IsamuDyson> i think they need to get out and meet some people
<BloodFromStone> Hey, I won't allow that kind of talk in here.
#53320 [ + | - ] 304
<RedRabbit> guys does os/2 mean only half an operating system
?
#53301 [ + | - ] 101
<Angelic> man who catch fly with chopsticks ... should eat in
different restaraunt!
#53299 [ + | - ] 209
<hobbs> SetiAtHome -- turn your laptop into a space heater. :)
#53285 [ + | - ] 1408
<Slime> I think in ten years time I will look back on days
like this and cry.
<Slime> The times I spent at 2am talking about girls who have
dicks and legs made of slugs eating each other whilst melting.
<Slime> My future wife will be all "Tell me what you did as a
teenager" and I will say " NOW IS TIME FOR SLEEP "
<MechaMrEd> And then you'll notice she has an erection
#53284 [ + | - ] 650
<@Headlor> when i live somewhre less gay
<@Headlor> im getting a cat
<@Headlor> and calling it "Hitler Stalin Mao"
<@Headlor> or just stalin
<@Headlor> "whats your cat called?"
<@Headlor> "stalin."
<@Headlor> "."
<@Headlor> ill write on its littertray "human rights"
<@Headlor> and on its bowl "flesh of the capitalist pig dogs"
#53275 [ + | - ] 24
* odds5050 has sent you a Christmas greeting. Type /server
mail to view the attachment
*** King_menthol has quit IRC
#53274 [ + | - ] 583
æ BaxterBandito is listening to: [MP3] Joan Jett & The
Blackhearts - Do You Wanna Touch Me
(somecrap) someone go touch bax so he'll be happy
æ BaxterBandito is listening to: [MP3] Divinyls - I Touch
Myself
(somecrap) nevermind he took care of that himself
#53241 [ + | - ] 247
<bda> I need a job where I can get laid in the line of duty.
<beady> teacher?
<claws03> grade school?
#53186 [ + | - ] 506
<testify> i hate the CLI which i have been using for 5 dam
years
<testify> like i said, its the year 2003 not 1984
<snaund> testify: umm, it's 2002 here
<snaund> must be a timezone thing
<testify> well its near 2003
<snaund> testify: there's a special name for the year that's
nearly 2003
<testify> taht is?
<snaund> testify: 2002
<testify> ok
#53181 [ + | - ] 423
<Eku{MY}> Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what
ever comes out"?
#53179 [ + | - ] 1890
<@TheRef>My girlfriend caught me sleep-wanking last night
<hoochy>lol, typo. i'm a post that to bash
<@TheRef>Dude, that wasn't a typo.
#53173 [ + | - ] 71
*** User Jezus has logged off the chat for idle time (13293
seconds).
[PlanetBob] Wow.. we've been visited by Jezus.. the new..and
HIP jesus..
#53166 [ + | - ] 330
<`Apoc`> i blew a load inside my girl
<Shiv[0utz0r]> LOL
<Shiv[0utz0r]> welcome to the club
<`Apoc`> whats the chances of her becoming pregnant
<Apocalypse_DFA[spam-eater]> if she wants to be pregnant, 50%.
If she doesnt want to be pregant...100%
#53160 [ + | - ] 187
<DrLickies> Anyone who wants to fight me, I'll be at Yonge and
College in like 25 minutes
<capitan0> don't homos hang at yonge and college ?
<DrLickies> No, I think they hang a couple of blocks east
<DrLickies> But maybe some homosexuals hang there
<smackhead> DrLickles- homosexuals will be hanging there in 25
minutes, apparently
#53138 [ + | - ] 87
<Jeeeeebus> wtf
<Jeeeeebus> when I click the minimize button, it is minimizing
my cursor to the other side of the screen
<Yawgmoth> its a feature, not a bug.
#53125 [ + | - ] 203
*** Keyser is now known as Keyser|driveby
<Keyser|driveby> brb
<Keyser|driveby> crawling on floor for a while :\
#53103 [ + | - ] 277
Cypher: well i think i got everything packed
Owen: + 1 packing skill (Cypher)
#53096 [ + | - ] 136
* koin freaks.
<koin> Harry Potter porn X_x
<koin> Not what I was looking for. Well, not HP anyway. :P
<Solaris> Been there, done that, bought it.
<koin> You have HP porn?
<Solaris> No.
<koin> I was about to say...
<koin> ...Why aren't you shari- I mean <_< >_>
#53085 [ + | - ] 428
<epx> Some hacker is trying to hack into my computer for the
last couple of days. Norton firewall blocked the hacker
everytime. I know it is from the same person because the same
IP address (192.168.1.100) keeps poping up. How do I locate
his location using his IP address? What can else can I do?
#53083 [ + | - ] 577
(doggie^): i remember using morpheus ages back
(doggie^): everytime i searched for something i would get
!!!!!!!!preteen sex piss fuck shit animals
......................... .avi
(doggie^): was very annoying
([olly]): lol
(slippy^): yeh :/
(slippy^): that movie sucked
#53081 [ + | - ] 813
* Hotaru dances more.
<Hotaru> o-<
<Hotaru> o-<
<Hotaru> o-<
<Hotaru> I suck at dancing.
<Vulpes> God help us if you ever try breakdancing.
<Hotaru> o/`>-
#53080 [ + | - ] 1135
<Foxie> "My family was asking me all these nosey-ass
questions, 'When are you going to find a woman?', 'When are
you going to get married?', 'When are you going to have
childeren?', then my grandmother was like "Maybe he donesn't
like chochate..." and I was like "it's not like I don't like
chochlate, it's that I don't like it without nuts."
<Foxie> "So my uncle was like "You're gay?! You don't look
gay!!", so I said "Yes, I'm one of the newer models, I'm a
stealth fag."
#53070 [ + | - ] 552
<Warhead> call off, everyone: boxers or briefs?
<Enargy> depends
<Warhead> ......control problems?
#53061 [ + | - ] 200
<Rory> I once saw on an import Gundam toy "Dont break steamy
translucent fabric or new one will come"
<Rory> wait that was a pack of Japanese condoms
#53046 [ + | - ] 187
<sazeMaster> exuse me!
<+joshua> the only excuse for you is your mom wanted another
child support check
#53029 [ + | - ] 325
<Yukanojo> Man, dyn.optonline.net just took a massive shit
<SPOONprez> Yukanojo: too much fiber in the network? :D
#53026 [ + | - ] 207
<deim0s> I'm all about discrete mathematics and multivariable
calculus!
<virt> that sounds like a sad theonion.com personal ad
<virt> let me twiddle your integers, baby :(
#53020 [ + | - ] 129
<Hot_Guy> Fentom: you're a girl?
<Fentom> -{Hot_Guy}- depends how desperate you are and how
much money you will pay for me to come down there
#52990 [ + | - ] 955
<|404notfound> They need to make keyboards without the caps
lock button, and then give the buttons to martial arts
masters.
<|404notfound> "Only when you can snatch the caps lock from my
hand may you yell incessantly like an idiot."
#52989 [ + | - ] 472
<flawed> i bet #mensa is like #lesbians .. except it's a bunch
of retards pretending to be smart, instead of a bunch of guys
pretending to be lesbians.
#52980 [ + | - ] 284
<Bodom83> dir NEW KORN SLIPKNOT DVDS!!
<Nvrmr> cd wrong window
<Nvrmr> dir
<Nvrmr> get dumbass.txt
#52978 [ + | - ] 364
<FLB> once sex tv showed a room full of women masturbating
<FLB> it was an "orgasm class"
<FLB> and they all go there
<Kamikaze_Watermelon> did you tape it?
<FLB> and in a group
<FLB> finger themselves.
<FLB> Umm
<FLB> No.
<Kamikaze_Watermelon> bastard
<FLB> I was uhh....
<FLB> taking notes?
#52977 [ + | - ] 268
<FLB> GRRR
<FLB> I put moisturizer on my hands in the washroom
<FLB> and couldnt turn the door knob to get out
<Hawk--> lol
<FLB> and there were no towels or anything
<FLB> Then I remember I could use my undershirt
<FLB> close call though
#52969 [ + | - ] 175
* @[b]elitE is away, bored [Pants:OFF] [Hands:ON]
#52967 [ + | - ] 576
<Mike_Works> There should be holes in massage tables so if you
get an erection when you're getting a massage, you can just
put it in the hole, so you don't have to stick your ass in the
air.
<Mike_Works> There should also be midgets under the tables.
Midgets who need the money.
#52965 [ + | - ] 269
<PixieDee> GIVE ME A YOUNG MAN TO SACRIFICE
*** tao|Cyrus- is now known as tao|Cyrus-dieing
<PixieDee> omg i don't want a grammatically incorrect
sacrificial young man.
#52956 [ + | - ] 241
<Ddamn> watching someone get banned is like watching a retard
throw eggs at an old lady
#52920 [ + | - ] 567
<Veor> HOT HOT CHICK WAS LOOKIN AT ME
<Veor> so i was smilin at her and she smilied back
<Veor> so i walked over to her and she kept staring where i
was sitting at
<Veor> and she had a cane
<Veor> i realized she was blind