hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#54040 [ + | - ] 271
<XtG|HW> and only an uncle would beat the shit out of the
great hio after hio hit a manoower truck
<TheGreatHio> manoower?
<XtG|HW> manoower
<TheGreatHio> i think you mean Manure
<XtG|HW> no
<XtG|HW> manoower
<TerraxNovae> WTF is that
<XtG|HW> poop
<XtG|HW> manoower
<TerraxNovae> BWAHAHAH   MANURE!
<XtG|HW> shit.
#54029 [ + | - ] 362
<Torontoye> Hi guys,. i have a P90 24mg Ram,.I would like to
make it a gateway,. how much Swap space should i give it??
<afterstep> Torontoye: 24 milligrams of ram?
<afterstep> oh, i'd say about an ounce or so of swap.
#54019 [ + | - ] 91
<Jason> i've onyl done acid in my eye
<Jason> or snocapped my bud wit it
<Budda> fuck that shit its not gettin near my eyes
<Budda> i mean fuck my lungs
<Budda> but im keepin my eyes
#54011 [ + | - ] 521
<alakriti> Real programmers don't comment their code. It was
hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
#54009 [ + | - ] 213
<rh-Raz_w3rk> if im not married by the time im 30, im going to
slaughter a newly married couple
<rh-Raz_w3rk> i like to set goals for myself
#53992 [ + | - ] 318
-Taking place in a Battlefield 1942 game-
<monk|GC> one time i saw a guy with binoculars,  he was just
standing there for like, 5 minutes
<monk|GC> and i asked what are you doing. he says if i wait
long enough the lasers will kill all of them
#53986 [ + | - ] 36
<Vented> I wake up and go "fuck work, fuck work"
<Vented> i give my thanks to my job :)
<TheJesus> that's the trick
<TheJesus> if you mess up and do <go to work> <say fuck work,
fuck work> in the wrong order, you get in trouble
<Vented> hahah :)
<Vented> you can always delete the two files, then recreate
them in the correct order
<Vented> or just "touch" <go to work> so it has a later date
stamp
<Vented> then no one will know what happened :)
<TheJesus> hahahaha
#53984 [ + | - ] 318
<[Smoke]> "Every gay club in the world owns one and only one
CD, a disc entitled "TRANCE-A-HOLIC TECHNO BEAT CLUB HAPPYCORE
TRANCE NATION DRUMSTEP BIG BEAT DISCO REMIX FEVER." This CD
has three tracks, all of which have the same four-on-the-floor
rhythm that loops for roughly 100 minutes and is accompanied
by a woman moaning, "ooohhhh ahhhh oowwweeeeee!" at random
intervals while a $199 Roland "DJ In a Box" synth plays up to
three different minor chords"
<NrgSpoon> ph33r the Real Folk Blues chiptune
<[Smoke]> "Homosexuals love this CD; it's like turning on a
porch light and watching the waves of June Bugs and moths fly
in and and start making out with each other."
<NrgSpoon> damn. i think my comment got sandwiched into gay
sex
<NrgSpoon> it was so young, too.
#53978 [ + | - ] 195
<Amish> women are psychotic
<Amish> cats are great pets for them though
<Xenopax> because they are cold and only want attention when
you don't want to give it to them?
<Amish> that, and you get to kick them when they aren't
looking
<Amish> JUST KIDDING PETA
#53961 [ + | - ] 146
<Mak0> i am a pr0nstar
<vocalizedWHORE> Mak0, is that you on goatse?
#53960 [ + | - ] 230
<bb-w3rk> If Received By:   Pay this Amount:
<bb-w3rk> 12/20/02    $25,692.40
<bb-w3rk> 12/30/02    $25,712.75
<bb-w3rk> 01/09/03    $25,733.09
<bb-w3rk> :(
<ESD-Wyrk> ...
<ESD-Wyrk> wtf is that
<bb-w3rk> damn tab at the liquor store
#53945 [ + | - ] 151
Ashanth: What would you do if you had athletes foot, and your
girlfriend had a foot fetish, and she got athletes vagina?
pnkgoetz: all she'd have to do was get some BOOM!! Tough Actin
Vinactin
#53941 [ + | - ] 136
<+Tolkien`> chicks will only last a while
<+Tolkien`> i can use my comp all night
#53939 [ + | - ] 1703
<quintessential> HOLY SHIT! SOMEONE JUST FIRED A FIRECRACKER
ONTO MY BALCNONY
<kuntraver> heh
<quintessential> i should close teh door, but its not a noisy
one, its just a sparkler on steroids i tink
<kuntraver> anyhoo, how are the submissions going?
<quintessential> ok, i just uploaded a batch yesterday
<quintessential> wtf
<kuntraver> ?
<quintessential> CRAP MY CAT IS ON FIRE!!!!!!
#53934 [ + | - ] 402
<PamelaPeaks> man my assistant is eating some weird ass
sausage that smells like farts
<rooster> hrm
<dedd[afk]> yummy
<rooster> weird "ass sausages"
<rooster> or weird ass "sausages"
#53933 [ + | - ] 28
<GeNOc¦DE> man ur making as much sense as a letter box in
africa
#53932 [ + | - ] 517
Number-6:  i should get a PO box while i'm at the post office
angryskul: ok
angryskul: so my dad had a PO box
angryskul: but not at the post office, at this little photo/
copy mailbox kinkos like place
angryskul: anyhow, he also used to get voicemail there because
he didnt' want his insane clients calling the house
angryskul: he used to have to reach over the counter to grab
his voicemail
angryskul: after a while he got the guy to install a phone
inside his box
angryskul: one day he's all checking his mail, then he reaches
in and pulls out the phone
angryskul: punches in some numbers
angryskul: then he notices this dude _staring_  at him
angryskul: anyhow, so he finishes, puts the phone back into
the box and locks it
angryskul: outside the guy catches up with him and is all
like..
angryskul: "are you in mossad?"
angryskul: (israeli secret police)
#53923 [ + | - ] 685
RonnieOchsleder: Do you use Trillian for chat? It rox.
fromagie: probably
fromagie: i use adium
fromagie: i haven't tried trillian - i shall
RonnieOchsleder: It has lots of nice little icons.
fromagie: oooh icons
fromagie: looking now
fromagie: ah, it's for windows?  I no have windows
RonnieOchsleder: Yeah, it might just be for Windows.
RonnieOchsleder: Fu - sorry - ck.
fromagie: It's o - dick - kay
RonnieOchsleder: That's good to kn - fuck off, then - ow.
fromagie: Okay, nice tal - moron - king to you.  Take it - up
the ass - easy.
#53901 [ + | - ] 115
<Jaz> there is not enough time in the history of civilisation
to watch all the pr0n on earth
<utopian> 1000 videos on 1000 screens
<utopian> all at once
<utopian> the law of statistics says you'll see a
shakespearean sonnet sooner or later
<Jaz> im sure john T bone has done a pr0n shakespeare
<utopian> sure, according to the law of statistics...
#53898 [ + | - ] 166
sweet-dick: my dick very up baby
chika: aww... so up that you forget the predicate? ;)
#53882 [ + | - ] 230
<wandarah> Quote added as #53880. Thanks for participating.
:-)
<wandarah> :D
<arryola> you quoted me? YOU CUNT!
<arryola> ...
<arryola> argh
* arryola refrains from speaking
<wandarah> Quote added as #53881. Thanks for participating.
:-)
#53877 [ + | - ] 289
<Frozen_Shadow> OMG my cousin had sex with her dog, when i
stayed the night at my aunts house, got up to go pee and her
room is right by the bathroom and i walked past she had the
light on and the door open
<cheesegoduk> what the hell frozen?
<cheesegoduk> your cousion was having sex with the dog
<Frozen_Shadow> yes
<cheesegoduk> what did she say when she saw you?
<Frozen_Shadow> she didnt say anything
<cheesegoduk> ?
<v_Ln|email> hahahahaha
<Frozen_Shadow> i just dont go to the bathroom in the middle
of the night any more
#53873 [ + | - ] 271
*** Idiot__ has joined #israel
<Baa0595> Wow. The first honest man on IRC.
#53859 [ + | - ] 286
i am RAWK: you know, I don't think I ever really realized how
much boys jack off before I started reading bash.org
i am RAWK: i mean, I kinna figured it was a frequent thing,
but it seems astronomical now
QuakeZop: haha, I've done it fifteen times since you left here
#53858 [ + | - ] 357
<MooFoo> Fuse, get yourself a shock rifle, that shoots instant
blue shit and slow moving blue shit
<MooFoo> Also, if you manage to hit the slow moving blue shit
with the instant blue shit, you will get an explosion of blue
shit, that will turn the enemies into red shit
<Fuse> That's a lot fo shit
<MooFoo> fo real
#53857 [ + | - ] 113
<Ktulu> Bob, so far - my day in this "everyday life" has
consisted of waking up, having breakfast, playing games... and
cracking jokes at your expense over IRC
#53856 [ + | - ] 39
<snookum> this reminds me of teens .. everyday..
<mulhollanddrive> u have pedophile eyes
#53855 [ + | - ] 313
<guardian> whos john lennon
<obi-rav> has the same sounding songs like the beetles, they
must have inspired him
<guardian> probs
#53854 [ + | - ] 37
Rann XXV: The "What's regular coffee?" joke isn't just lame...
it's paraplegic.
#53851 [ + | - ] 434
(_ph): im hungry
(kingy`r): eat a dick :P
(_ph): im a little hungrier than that
(sole): eat two dicks then
(_ph): we're talking at least 5 here
#53850 [ + | - ] 325
<Red_Avatar> Select [192kbps 44100Hz 03:53min] Mandy Moore -
Only hope
<Darth-Phenom> Mandy Moore!! ROCK ON
<Red_Avatar> don't mock the music my girlfriend gave me!!
<RaptorMkII> Sure, your girl friend.
<RaptorMkII> IF YOUR GIRL FRIEND'S NAME IS KAZAA!
#53849 [ + | - ] 164
(takai) ffs _ph
(takai) dont be gay
(_ph) thats like telling me not to eat
#53843 [ + | - ] 426
<Sharna> i dont do linux tho
<Snooky> it solves all the world's problems
<Sharna> world peace too?
<Snooky> actually, let me check
<Sharna> k
<Snooky> ahh, here we go:
<Snooky> Summary of changes from v2.4.20-rc2 to v2.4.20-rc3
<akpm@digeo.com>:
o Change mark_dirty_kiobuf() to use set_page_dirty()
instead of SetPageDirty(). The latter fails to move onto
mapping->dirty_pages(), which breaks filemap_fdatasync()
o PROVIDES WORLD PEACE
<Snooky> as of kernel 2.4.20-rc3, linux has world peace
<Sharna> amazing
<Sharna> why dont more people know about this
#53833 [ + | - ] 482
<greeny> so i turn this box upside down and you know what i
find printed on the bottom?
<greeny> "don't turn the box upside down"
<greeny> :
#53821 [ + | - ] 534
Narbus clicks his heels
Narbus clicks his heels
Narbus clicks his heels
Narbus has quit IRC (QUIT: User exited)
#53817 [ + | - ] 279
<Anatole> The PS2 is the *only* choice, if you like those
kinds of games.
<SINsApple> Not *really* since the xbox *is* the *one* that
has Nascar *Thunder* and Outlaw *Golf*
<SINsApple> I'm mocking your use of asterisks, in *case* you
didn't *notice*
<SINsApple> :D
<Anatole> Wow...you sure are *funny* when you're *drunk*, you
dirty *bitch*
#53806 [ + | - ] 958
<Carter> Periods rock
<Carter> It's the only time you have enough blood to cover
yourself in warpaint unpainfully
<Carter> you can recreate Braveheart with red!
<DireWolf> Sorry you two, but the idea of a bunch of lesbian
feminist bitches on their periods re-enacting BraveHeart is
enough to make all the men on the face of the earth curl up in
a fetal position and await death.
#53785 [ + | - ] 211
<Kaladias> Kal need nookie
[+]ChevyGurl> lol
<Kaladias> *sigh* i wish women would take me more seriously
#53782 [ + | - ] 1535
<alphageek> "are you currently alive? [ ] yes, [ ] no"
<Help747> X
<Help747> er
<Help747>                   X
<Help747>                                  X
<Help747>
X
<Help747>                                                   X
<alphageek> lol. this isn't pin the tail on the donkey
<Help747>                                                  X
X
#53780 [ + | - ] 117
<Ten80> http://www.patrick.fm/boobies/boobies.php?text=
Melbourne+Wireless
<smarm> needs to have a line break :P
<CRC-Away> man, only a geek would see a nice set of tits, and
comment on the line break :)
#53776 [ + | - ] 369
[spork`] bukakke is the most intimate act that 2-50 people can
perform
#53769 [ + | - ] 405
[Glare]: Hey guess what i did last night?
[Tank]: Im assuming something revolving around....."My mother/
Sister"???
[Glare]: damnit.
[Tank]: Owned.
[Glare]: Agreed.
Glare bows in acceptance of ownage.
#53763 [ + | - ] 121
<+LagSucks> the other day i downloaded korean porn because i
was curious as i've never seen it
<+LagSucks> and the men all had smaller members than i did
<+Zulehan> that's how it starts, lag.
<+LagSucks> i thought to myself, 'wow, that's a first'
#53762 [ + | - ] 880
<TheOffspring326> Do you ever get the feeling that someone has
mis-understood you?
<TheOffspring326> but you're not sure
<Motorbreath151> WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN,
ASSHOLE?
#53737 [ + | - ] 990
<Tristan> I have a very bad headache, I need about 20 or so
asprin.
<Ari> awww....
* Ari huggles Tris
<Kryptonite> I LITERALLY BROKE MY ARM all i got was a HEH
#53719 [ + | - ] 479
* Faetan is gonna kill Santa for this...
* Santa_Clause is now known as Steve
<Steve> >_>
<Steve> <_<
#53711 [ + | - ] -44
Anonymous: Ramadan is over, i can eat!!!
Anonymous2: I was surfing the internet and i found a page that
said more women go for guys that are/were in the Air Force
then any other profession.
Anonymous: Really, I wanna join the air force one day.
Anonymous2: Wat, so u could learn how to fly planes into
skyscrapers.
Anonymous: Fool, you're muslim too.
Anonymous: You r a disgrace to brown pple.
Anonymous2: Don't be silly i'm not brown, i'm just a really
tanned white person.
#53706 [ + | - ] 497
<StuGhattz> I think wet dreams are actually God giving you a
handjob for being so good.
#53669 [ + | - ] 260
<MeatEating> why in the name of fuck are we talking about Star
Trek?
<MeatEating> I think I'll leave again temporarily
<Uncle_Matt> Or you could leave temporally, in a way pleasing
to us Trekkies.
#53621 [ + | - ] 341
<@Ocean-Saurian> But you know... I realized somthing last
night
<@Ocean-Saurian> I realized you could buy trophies, and all
these years I have been trying to do sports