hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#54519 [ + | - ] 168
(shadow-ohki) I mean Cabbits are very teratoryatal animals. I
cant help but dislike you.
(@Arrow) "teratoryatal"
(@Arrow) That is a horrendous bastardization of that word's
proper spelling
(@Arrow) territorial
(shadow-ohki) sp what If I cant spell
#54490 [ + | - ] 286
<Rodzilla> -- 12 percent of Brazilian ladies have had sex with
animals.
<Santa_Smith> ew those brazilian women have sex with anything
<Tessai|modeling> smith: THERE'S YOUR CHANCE TO GET SOME ;D!!
#54474 [ + | - ] 550
<Dreaded_Fist[using_AOL]> I've had the internet since I was 9
<Dreaded_Fist[using_AOL]> course back then, when I looked for
porn, I'd type "pictures of men and woman having sex"
<rpliving> now u just type in "pictures of men"
#54470 [ + | - ] 241
<@Fuse> !spin
<+SugarFairy>  Fuse spinned the bottle.. and it lands on ..
Sophos
<+SugarFairy>  Now, go kiss  ^-^
<+Sophos> who the hell plays spin the bottle in a room ful of
boys
#54451 [ + | - ] 726
<kfc-ginzberg> dude
<kfc-ginzberg> "12 inches" was just an answer on jeopardy
<kfc-ginzberg> someone really shoulda buzzed in, "What is my
cock? Alex"
#54426 [ + | - ] 742
<NevDullH> A/S/L/Uptime?
#54400 [ + | - ] 225
<pogo> i get to write on "intertextuality"
<Kevron5000> say what
<pogo> exaclty
<pogo> n: bullshit v: stupid
<serdar_argic> write 10 pages on masturbation
<Kevron5000> now that i can do
<pogo> or i could just masterbate on ten blank pages
<serdar_argic> ewww
<pogo> sign the bottom
<serdar_argic> thats pretty intertextual
<pogo> indeed
#54393 [ + | - ] 38
<Riku> The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to IRC and
teach IRC in return.
#54390 [ + | - ] 201
<smee> "Omochannel.com also sells a vibrator equipped with a
video camera at its tip. The product can be attached to a TV
or video and provides a more in-depth view of the area where
it's used. "
<smee> LOOK MUM I'M ON TV!!!!
#54387 [ + | - ] 25
<Simmons62> the more we get the more weed than we should have
we get
#54373 [ + | - ] 81
* Filbert hmms@the work root password scribbled on his hand
* geekster Chuckles at the security
* Filbert wonders what his hand gives him access to, lol
<geekster> mastarbatory pleasure
<geekster> if your chubby arms can stretch round your large
stomach
#54365 [ + | - ] 404
<default> say something nice to my mom if your around
<magpie> who's your mom
<magpie> that lady chainded up in the closet
<default> no the women looking over my shoulder
#54357 [ + | - ] 510
<NapkinEater> can you hold a dollar between your breasts?  You
are allowed to push your breast together with your hands, but
you can't touch the dollar with anything but your boobs
<Emily-away> I bet I could.
<Kevyn> I can hold a dollar between my cock and balls.
<Kevyn> That means I have big balls.
<Mike_Works> <Kevyn> How bad do you want the dollar?
<Homeless Person> :(
#54356 [ + | - ] 11
<Comarcracy> anyone know a good game for pc that is similar to
gta?
<ircbuddy> GTA2
<ircbuddy> (You must have seen that coming...)
<Comarcracy> kinda, i didnt think anyone would say that since
i was refering to all gta games...but expect the unexpected
<ircbuddy> Fair enough.
#54352 [ + | - ] 807
< cae> you people all suffer from ADD apparently
< krapnggt> i suffer from SUBTRACT.
#54343 [ + | - ] 1520
* Lilmuckers hugs iphopper
* iphopper reciprocates the hug
* Lilmuckers grabs iphoppers lowest common factor and makes it
proportianal to 1 over 2
* iphopper primes lil's hug
* Lilmuckers differentiates iphopper gradient
* Lilmuckers takes the second differential to work out the
highest and lowest points
* Lilmuckers looks about at the assembled masses confused
faces and blushes
* iphopper tries to find lil's limit as it approaches x, and
the derivative of that value
<ragnarok2040> okay, who said maths geeks could cyber in here?
#54332 [ + | - ] 591
<Karp> If love is a game.... where can i buy the
multiplayer-version?
#54313 [ + | - ] 207
<ChafedNut> I just downloaded the internet
<ChafedNut> it's pretty fly
<Batt0usai> Chafednut: can you burn it on a cd for me please
<ChafedNut> I will try...it may have some copyright
protections
<Batt0usai> if you could fit it in a floppy it would be better
actually
<Batt0usai> try zipping it
<ChafedNut> ok
#54312 [ + | - ] 791
<SkyKing> freudian whip
<SkyKing> i mean slip
<SkyKing> doh
#54297 [ + | - ] 358
<Scofco> I found out I might have stomach cancer :*[
<kolby> yea, I bought a brand new pack of cigarettes today and
dropped them in a puddle...I know how you feel
#54296 [ + | - ] 397
<sora> I don't think goths are evil and satanic, I think
they're pitiful and irritating. Like street mimes, only not as
much fun to set on fire with kerosene.
#54292 [ + | - ] 179
<Weng> "6. You are rated higher than 55% of the men on this
site"
<Weng> My girlfriend didn't even rate me a 10 :/
<J4k3> she's settling for a 5... inch
<Weng> She's settling for a lot less than 5 inches
#54287 [ + | - ] 643
<mannie77> Hi
<Sexygirl89> hi
<mannie77> m/f?
<Sexygirl89> FFS, what would you think?!
<mannie77> oh right
<Sexygirl89> No girl would be stupid enough to use a nick like
this!
#54278 [ + | - ] -54
<JuicyClawter> I once threw a cat out of a five story
building.  I'm not sure if it landed on its feet, because I
was too high up to see.
#54272 [ + | - ] 1383
<hamutaro> Check this out
<hamutaro> ^ I'm with stupid! ^
<hamutaro> Oh, wait.
<hamutaro> Fuck
#54264 [ + | - ] 219
<Que> i don't mind talking
<Que> but having pictures of my penis online
<Que> yeah, not safe
<Throttle-OSX> nah, havin yer cock and yer face in the same
pic is not safe ;)
<Odin> lol
<Throttle-OSX> havin yer cock and yer exgirlfriends face in
the same pics...now thats just funny
#54258 [ + | - ] 173
<ceydn> Okey dokey, I'm going out
<wrath> He's going out like a deaf kid playing musical chairs
#54253 [ + | - ] 475
<MicrophoneJoe> Fuck me Bowmer is fat
<MicrophoneJoe> Are you talking about masturbation ZoK?
<ZoK> What else takes about 5 mins and involves lubrication?
<MicrophoneJoe> Bowmer putting on a T-Shirt
#54250 [ + | - ] 350
<Keiichi> the BSOD doesn't mean you win anything
<PrettzL> It's not like triple sevens :P
<Keiichi> not even close
<Keiichi> it's more like the slot machine punches you in the
face and laughs
#54244 [ + | - ] 184
<|Robot|Pimpbot> I SWEAR TO GOD I WISH I COULD JUST REACH
THROUGH THE INTERNET AND KILL PPL SOMETIMES
<|Robot|Pimpbot> does anyone know if that will be part of
Internet v2?
<{RA}SKY-UED3> yeah
<{RA}SKY-UED3> but youll have to pay a tax on it
<{RA}SKY-UED3> and stand in a line
<|Robot|Pimpbot> im willing
#54240 [ + | - ] 290
<Macabre> dammit, y'know what? tday I was waiting for a cab,
and the chick next to me was like, hey cutie. And I wink, then
she looks down at my crotch, smiles for abit, then smacks my
face.
<Macabre> IN FROTN OF ALMSOT 500 FUKCING PEPLE!!
<Macabre> Y'know why?
<Macabre> BEcause I was holing my handphone in my right hand
pocket, and it started vibrating because I got a call. I dunno
about yous guys phones, but mine vibrates like a pussy
vibrator, ie really pwoerfully
<Macabre> she must have thought I was wacking to her or
something.. :(
#54239 [ + | - ] 446
<Loco-san> I'm gonna make a game called With Myself, so kids
will say "I'm gonna go play With Myself" and freak their
parents/friends out
#54237 [ + | - ] 89
<Soul`is`away> I was ashamed of the latest KMart catalogue
<Soul`is`away> Flipped to the games bit...
<Soul`is`away> Xbox and PS2, but no cube AT ALL
<risq> there are no gamecubes in ANY catalogues
<Soul`is`away> WHY NOT!>
<Onikage> maybe after they put in the xbox, there was no room
for the cube
#54223 [ + | - ] 561
DibbLe: ive come to a realization
Daemonite: ?
DibbLe: violent games like cs, bf1942 and quake DO influence
kids to shoot people and commit violent acts
DibbLe: but not because theyre imitating the game, its because
everyone who plays them acts SO FUCKING STUPID YOU HOPE THEY
ALL DIE
#54203 [ + | - ] 507
<`Grimm`> you know whats the darndest thing is? its when you
mom calls you a son of a bitch, im like, wait a minute, who's
the bitch?
#54202 [ + | - ] 368
<+skrath> I don't think I'm better than others, it just so
happens that so far, statistically, I am
#54193 [ + | - ] 379
<CowboyNeal> I got email once from someone who said that /.
was "tryin to keep a nigga down"
<CowboyNeal> I told him I didn't appreciate him using that
term to refer to our people
<CowboyNeal> race card played and redealt, muhahaha
#54191 [ + | - ] 326
<KamiKaze-> im still a virgin
<KamiKaze-> .
<KamiKaze-> oh shit that msg was meant for jennyf16uk
#54173 [ + | - ] 475
<Zoogle> So my mom comes in to my room and starts bitching
about how pirating software is immoral and wrong and is worse
than stealing.
<Zoogle> When she's all done she gives me 2 cd's and says "Oh,
and can you copy these for me?"
#54163 [ + | - ] 133
<bladezero> Hey guys, i need u to help me solve the porblem i
got
<zefer> k, shoot
<bladezero> well i really like this girl and i want to impress
her should i buy her a rose?
<zefer> lol, if u wana say u like her with a rose all ure
saying is "I'm cheap"
<bladezero> o shit, should i buy her a bouquet then?
<zefer> no cuz then she'll think ure just trying to buy her
over
<bladezero> then what do i do damnit, this is like the first
girl ive ever really liked
<zefer> buy her some chocolates. U cant go wrong with
chocolates, i say when in doubt look to the chocolate.
<bladezero> ok thanks man bye :)
<majinTB> uhh u sure thats a good motto to live by?
<zefer> no ha ha but hes gonna fatten this girl up real nice
and then he'll either 1) dump her or 2) she'll get desperate
and settle with a loser like him who can't even deal with what
to get a girl on a date.
<zefer> way to "let your heart decide."
<majinTB> ha ha yea what a dumbass
#54142 [ + | - ] 142
MattDavis: i have to re-do an application because i misspelled
"republic", leaving out the L
MattDavis: no joke, it says repubic
MattDavis: no spellcheck when you write by hand
MattDavis: that's what i get for masturbating while doing grad
school apps
#54134 [ + | - ] 231
<Kalony> i thought it was some cool hand of fate deal or
something
<dredg> fate needs to deal me a sandwich
<Kalony> fate could deal me a hand job too
<Kalony> preferably after washing its hands
<dredg> and then washing its hands before it made my sandwich
#54120 [ + | - ] 907
Seppuko I: ever jack a guy off with your feet?
PrettyPrincess1: no
Seppuko I: do you want to?
PrettyPrincess1 no
Seppuko I: would you if asked?
PrettyPrincess1: no
Seppuko I: what if he had a gun to your head?
PrettyPrincess1: yea
Seppuko I: SCORE
#54110 [ + | - ] 196
<kow> anyone know where active desktop info is stored in
win2k?
<kow> like the HTML files
<APE_> same place bill gates hides the porn in win2k
<kow> fuck
<kow> I'm not gonna find it right?
<APE_> theres 200mb worth of porn built into windows, i mean
how do u think it got that large?
#54099 [ + | - ] 1366
EmoKidDavey: I once masturbated 24 times in 24 hours
Fallen Tabris: O_O
Fallen Tabris: That's really unhealthy.
Fallen Tabris: How much juice did you get out?
Fallen Tabris: when you have so little left, is it even called
masturbating any more?
Fallen Tabris: When you've done it that many times in a day.
EmoKidDavey: yeah
EmoKidDavey: a stick comes out and a flag unfurls that says
bang
#54087 [ + | - ] 261
<Socrates> why do i get .06 kbps from kazaa....
<Socrates> thats 60 bits.. i can almost type that fast
#54086 [ + | - ] 208
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> we have two horses outside our halls
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> one of them is hung like a fucking
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> i dunno what man
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> but he has one ginormous fucking
penis!
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> I got a picture of it too!!!
#54074 [ + | - ] 606
Cat1013: Whoops
Cat1013: I just really confused my grandma.
HermitKing: She has IM?
Cat1013: She just got it. I was talking to her, and she asked
about my new car.
Cat1013: I said that it was fine, but that it makes a funny
noise whenever I shift.
HermitKing: So?
Cat1013: I left the "f" out of "shift".
#54048 [ + | - ] 227
<Afsan> the question is.. would the fbi suspect a terrorist
from a university in Australia?  arn't we ment to be the good
guys?
<Gothmog> we're everywhere...
<Gothmog> i mean...
<Gothmog> _they're_ everywhere
<Gothmog> phew lucky save there
<Afsan> yes you almost exposed us!
<Afsan> one of your camels must now be castrated!
#54046 [ + | - ] 434
<MY2K> can you hear me? :P
<TheDingo> no
* MY2K has left #8-bit.theater
* MY2K has joined #8-bit.theater
<TheDingo> still can't hear you
* MY2K has left #8-bit.theater