hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#55380 [ + | - ] 643
<Xerox> ...Oh god. Nintendo gave me a preview DVD of
apparently quite a lot of their games. I have no DVD player. I
do, however, have a PS2. CAN ANYONE SEE THE IRONY HERE!?
#55372 [ + | - ] 251
<AnTrAaXx> wb Dark
<Dark|Lord> wow.. I've been disconnected for 9 hours, and
you've been here long enough to gimme wb? :)
#55365 [ + | - ] 411
<daenonok> not unless you wanna get rodney king'd
<daenonok> nerd style
<R4g3^o^M4g3> I've seen it before.
<R4g3^o^M4g3> Plastic keyboard wrist-rests and optical
mice...it ain't pretty.
<R4g3^o^M4g3> According to the police report "Six geeks who
wish to remain unnamed mauled a defenseless jock in a birrage
of girly punches and kicks, while repeating a (believed to be
satanic) chant; '0wn3d d00d!"
#55358 [ + | - ] 28
<garyttu> Dude you are not going to believe this... I played
golf with my dad today and put my cell phone in my golf
bag....well I started to play like ass and took a nine iron to
the side of my bag....OOPS!!!!!
<banshee> Do i need to explain what a dumb ass you are???
LOLOLOL
<garyttu> yeah- it was so funny but at the same time I am sooo
pissed at myself
<banshee> That is one of those things... where after you do
it... you just know... that it was fate telling you to stop
acting like a jack ass...
#55341 [ + | - ] 832
<whiskers> wtf
<whiskers> my sister just called me from her room
<whiskers> told me to turn down the music
<Spyder|TV> crank it
<torontotranceaddict> CRANK IT
<Kinuvan> CRANK IT
*whiskers turns up the music
<whiskers>i hear steps
*** Signoff: whiskers (Ping Timeout)
#55337 [ + | - ] 122
<hajjs> a floppy just got stuck in the computer
<hajjs> htf do i get it out?
<Puppet-Master> force?
<hajjs> i sprayed hand lotion onto it
<hajjs> it got out.... but didn't look pretty
#55328 [ + | - ] 280
<Steve> http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/asiapcf/east/12/14/
korea.nukes/index.html
<Jsangspar> I swear to god, CNN and the government are making
everything up
<Jsangspar> and it's starting to fall apart
<Jsangspar> 'The Yongbyon nuclear facility in North Korea.
Pyongyang says it will restart the nuclear reactor there '
<Jsangspar> "YONGBYON"? "PYONGYANG"? Now they're just making
fun of asian people
<Steve> "Neighbor and potential threat FLIEDLICE has
threatened to destroy any troops coming through their
territory, be it from the western YELLOWSKIN or the east's
SLANTEYEBASTIDS."
<Jsangspar> gahahah
#55280 [ + | - ] 337
<@WoWMaN\\> this girl put her finger up my ass once
<@WoWMaN\\> I dont wonna sound gay , but it was the best
feeling i ever had !
<@Bart\\> dude , that wasnt a girl
<@Bart\\> And it wasnt my finger either
#55231 [ + | - ] 366
<SO|Razor> treize do you believe in other intelligent life?
<SO|Treize> in the universe?
<SO|Treize> or on forums?
<SO|Razor> .............
#55229 [ + | - ] 326
* motionz climbs up the statue of liberty
<motionz> ....
<c-rOCK> JUMP COCKSUCKER
<threeve> jeez what did motionz do
<Video`> Do it, pussy.
<motionz> if that's how you all feel
*** motionz was kicked by c-rOCK (BIG WIND!)
#55220 [ + | - ] 92
<WTM2K> what if i sodomized a priest while the priest is
sodomizing an altar boy, WHILE the altar boy is sodomizing a
blind 3-legged kitten?
<Meatball> then you tape it and sell it on the black market
<Gentleman> yes
<[N]> yes tape it
<Gentleman> that is hell material
<Livewireo> Only if the kitten was dead
#55187 [ + | - ] 358
impOrted megAmi: life does suck, ya know. i mean, at the bad
parts, naturally.
JimBob4554: words of wisdom
JimBob4554: "life sucks when its bad"
#55178 [ + | - ] 380
<#C++:Luggage_> guy in the #vb channel thinks vb is too hard..
so wants to learn assembly..  i advised him against it, but he
thinks it looks easy "nice small words"
#55170 [ + | - ] 100
<KevinIsOwn> An IRC user having sex with someone hot?
<KevinIsOwn> What is the world coming to
<RX> good things kevin
<KevinIsOwn> Yes... VERY good things :D
#55167 [ + | - ] 1250
(@Li-Sonder) i'm going to build a castle from the empty soda
cans on my desk
(@Li-Sonder) and declare myself king of this desk
(@Li-Sonder) and rule it with an iron fist
(@Li-Sonder) and make all the ants pay taxes
(@Li-Infinite) wow
(@Li-Infinite) you got way too much time on your hand.
(@Li-Sonder) you mean my iron fist.
#55155 [ + | - ] 328
<[Piratez]> I think i'm allergic to porn, everytime I look at
porn my cock swells.
#55128 [ + | - ] 27
<The_Atari> I also hear they're making a Back to the Future 4
<[-FcG-]aawis> he goes back in time to fix his parkinsons
desease
#55095 [ + | - ] 267
* Cheez is now known as rwxr-xr-x
<MudBlud> ./Cheez
#55091 [ + | - ] 270
<@Megaman> All your base are belong to us
* Arrow sets mode: +b *!*Donnyku@*
* Megaman was kicked by Arrow (That joke is now 2 years, 6
months, 8 days, 5 hours, 30 minutes, and 8 seconds old. Let it
die.)
#55034 [ + | - ] 575
<Dilbert> my dad owns a company "Incestors inc."
<Dilbert> investors*
<Dilbert> i meant
#55020 [ + | - ] 223
<Foxxz> OMG! you know our dorm is nerdy when someone finds a
math tv show and we all start watching.
#54993 [ + | - ] 251
:: join #bitchx :: desane
(desane@if.I.were.a.perl.script.would.you.love.fork.ing.me.uk)
:: mode #bitchx :: (+b *!*@*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*) by pheret
:: kick #bitchx :: pheret kicked desane (banned: If you match
this, you have a lame host.)
#54978 [ + | - ] 238
<IAmQueenLara> Oh yeah, I remember you... You disappeared one
night after I sent you my photo
#54940 [ + | - ] 20
zolex: do you call tabbaco a drug?
crummy: yes
crummy: of course its a drug
zolex: its a plant, its not a drug you idiot.
#54935 [ + | - ] 160
<^{[Dr-Dre]}^> Deos anyone know where i can host a site that
supports ASP for free?
<ApoIIyon> insecurehosts.com
<^{[Dr-Dre]}^> ok thanks
#54933 [ + | - ] 231
*ph34rbot wonders where everyone ran off to
<Kur0Tenshi> We're masturbating to erotic asian art.
<Asmodeus> Is that a clever way of saying "Jerking off to
hentai" :)?
<Kur0Tenshi> Bingo. :]
#54914 [ + | - ] 442
[Video] I've been watching the warez scene for like two
months.
[Video] Nothing is worth DOWNLOADING
[Video] That's sad
[Ouija] i know
[Video] Is that their new anti-piracy technique?
[Video] Release shit no one wants?
#54838 [ + | - ] 618
<Dekkon> SHE HAS DSL
<Killrbyte> Digital Subscriber Line?
<nyisles> is it from Speakeasy?
<Killrbyte> Tell her to get cable.  Its faster.
<Dekkon> DICK SUCKING LIPS
<Dekkon> DAMN NERDS
#54809 [ + | - ] 333
<SpookyD> if ppl saw what was on my screen right now they
would be shocked and disgusted ;)
<DanJ> SpookyD: So get some tissues and clean it
#54802 [ + | - ] 231
<tak08810> Frostlion, that is the porrest splelling Iv'e ever
seen
<Frostlion> no it'sn't
<tak08810> err, poorest, I've, spelling
#54801 [ + | - ] 7
<NIH> Dec 12 1917
<NIH> The worst train wreck in history, leaving 543 Frenchmen
dead.
<NIH> Worst... or best?
#54794 [ + | - ] 196
<ChuckD> so i got a massive summer sausage today
<ChuckD> what happened
<ChuckD> is i was talking about summer sausage
<ChuckD> and my friend said "i can bring ya summer sausage! i
have tons!"
<ChuckD> i thought he was joking
<ChuckD> sure enough, he shows up with a massive summer
sausage
<ChuckD> people looked at me funny
<ChuckD> i was carrying around a summer sausage, after all
<Dancer_the_Reindeer> or were you just happy to see them?
#54793 [ + | - ] 229
(rooster): So, are you hard at work
(rooster): or
(rooster): HARD, at work
#54791 [ + | - ] 191
<GregMoore> -v raxor
<GregMoore> FUCK
<GregMoore> lol
<GregMoore> -ox raxor
<GregMoore> -o raxor
<GregMoore> HOW DO I FUCK YOU OVER!
#54760 [ + | - ] 461
<DarkLich> DarkLich had his first homosexual encounter =(
<DarkLich> It was horrid. I'm not 100% straight.
<DarkLich> NOW
<DarkLich> NOW. I said NOW 100% straight.
#54757 [ + | - ] 280
<TrouT> anyone know what this means:
<TrouT> python2.1: can't open file '/usr/local/sbin/
RegisterVh3Service'
<+toad-> I think python2.1 can't open the file /usr/local/sbin
/RegisterVh3Service
#54742 [ + | - ] 269
<kleitin> where are u guys from?
<Hyperbyte> I am from the Netherlands
<kleitin> netherlands is in usa ?
#54729 [ + | - ] 352
<Jessica> lol my grandpa has gay dogs Lol
<Jessica> he has two big dogs and they are both boys and they
were umm lol
<Anthony> I SAW!
<Anthony> that's sick
<Anthony> heh
<Jessica> my day was boring
<Anthony> not that boring if you saw gay dogs! heh
<Jessica> I laughed and told them to get out of me
<Jessica> lol
<Jessica> OOPS
<Jessica> out of my room
<Jessica> not me
<Anthony> hahahahahahahaha
#54722 [ + | - ] 1146
<DawnG>I was forced to attend a seminar on leadership. We were
broken into small groups and each was asked to state what
skills a good leader possesses. I wrote, "Needs to be good
with elephants and crossing Alps." The others at my table were
amused, but the seminar coordinator didn't get it. I said it
was a reference to Hannibal, known for his leadership
qualities. Her reply: "What leadership qualities? He was a
cannibal, and anyway, it was lambs, not elephants."
#54715 [ + | - ] 149
* +MegamanX2K takes out a freon thrower and freezes Sitara to
the core
* +MegamanX2K then raises her body above his head and shatters
it
<+MegamanX2K> FATLITY
<+MegamanX2K> err
<+MegamanX2K> FATALITY
<+MegamanX2K> ...damned typos
<Snow_Angel> fatlity?
<Snow_Angel> is that some sort of gamer geek word?
<+MegamanX2K> It's Mortal Kombat, but Scorpion let himself go
#54652 [ + | - ] 206
<miz> man, you just pushed the geek meter right off the scale
with the combined MS bash and LOTR reference
#54588 [ + | - ] 514
<BalkanEmperorGlaug> Another flight attendant's comment on a
less than perfect landing: "We ask  you to please remain
seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
<Schroe[Sleepies]> On my first flight ever, the captain came
on over the intercom -
<Schroe[Sleepies]> "We aren't really a flight crew ... but we
did stay at a Holiday Inn Express!"
<mike> :P
<mike> i wanna be a pilot
<mike> then i can come over the intercom, "What's this button
do...OH FUCKING SHIT!!"
<mike> then after panic ensues, "Just kidding!"
<Glaug-Eldare> "The weather at our destination is 50 degrees
with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed
before we arrive."
<Glaug-Eldare> Then you can get fired!
<Glaug-Eldare> =D
<mike> then i can get a job that's on the ground!
<Glaug-Eldare> And throw wrenches at planes' windows while
they're taking off?
<mike> i was thinking more along the lines of programming
#54582 [ + | - ] 269
<Throttle> man, farting in the shower kinda kills that whole
clean feeling u get
#54580 [ + | - ] 190
<Gobblin> this guy i know is getting like a microwave
connection or something
<Gobblin> sounds pretty 1337x0rz
<avat> "damn you old man with your pacemaker, you are slowing
my uploads"
#54552 [ + | - ] 274
*** KeeperX (KeeperX@24.120.83.177) has joined channel #idle
<KeeperX>: ...
<KeeperX>: Why isn't anyone talking?
#54550 [ + | - ] 275
<nondesc> All I need's a basic optical mouse.
<nondesc> This Logitech is like $12 street price.
<Livewireo> Strret price? are you buying illegal mice from
ugly mexicans on the street corner?
#54546 [ + | - ] 157
<Fogie> not a tivo, just a creative labs tv tuner card with
tivo-like functionality
<AlienCrimeSyndicate> if i had that card fogie, i would rip
the trinity broadcasing network 24/7
<Fogie> what is that, pr0n?
<AlienCrimeSyndicate> if televangelists for jesus = pr0n, then
yes
<Fogie> to each his own
<Fogie> somewhere in America a man is jerking off to jesus
#54543 [ + | - ] 998
Tarja: TODAY in auto shop
Tarja: there was this giant spider crawling about in Penguin's
engine and i insisted no one kill it
Tarja: then Penguin came back (it was his car) and i showed
him it
Tarja: and he was like, oh yeah, that's the engine spider, he
checks the oil and stuff
Tarja: makes sure everything's running ok
#54531 [ + | - ] 518
<HistoryHm> well, i could never date her
<HistoryHm> three strikes rule
<HistoryHm> republican
<HistoryHm> christian
<unga-work> conscious
#54520 [ + | - ] 11
<Trestkon> A girl got her tonsels (sp?) out, so we all sign
the card, and someone gives it to her, and she's like "..."
<Trestkon> cause she can't talk yet:P