hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#63074 [ + | - ] 75
<doggie^> fuck me, muppet was actually on irc
<MS^Zealot> u make it sound like hes never on irc james
<doggie^> first time ive seen him on this year :P
<MS^Zealot> considering muppet is wired to his many machines
its not shock
<doggie^> rofl
<MS^Zealot> i think muppets recliner is like the chairs rom
matrix
<MS^Zealot> things goin into as many orifices as possible
<MS^Zealot> 5 in his ass
<MS^Zealot> etc
#63070 [ + | - ] 96
<@PrincessLeia2> hmm, see the problem with computer
packrat'ism is i tend to keep all my computer documentation
together, no matter what it is, so it comes to be 2003 and i
find Myst install directions with my computer stuff
<@PrincessLeia2> yay for windows 3.1
#63068 [ + | - ] 0
<AlSkapone> It sounds like someone has sand in their Vagina.
#63067 [ + | - ] 184
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> You know what I find funny...
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> Companies like Sony
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> Who produce the copy protected CDs...
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> Yet also produce things which can crack
it
<@ketsugi|scanning> like marker pens?
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> CD-R drives
<@ketsugi|scanning> close enough
#63064 [ + | - ] 127
< Scribble> Must be interesting to live with the animal that
ruined your life.
< Scribble> ...
< Scribble> Ask any married guy.
#63054 [ + | - ] 204
* kurt[A] is now known as kurt
* kurt was away, and is back from: life
<Vex> Who are you kidding kurt?
#63049 [ + | - ] 251
* moktod attempts to disapear from work, like a fart in the
wind
<moktod> fuck, i think they smelled me, my boss is coming over
<moktod> brb
* moktod hides under desk
#63048 [ + | - ] 3235
<AndrewLB_in_Chise> My mom saw me walking downstairs to the
comp room with a box of kleenex and she just gave me this
look. -.- I've never felt so dirty in my life...
#62988 [ + | - ] 1760
<RushMore> fuck yuo
<RushMore> fuck yuo
<RushMore> fuc kyou
<Diablo1399> okay rushmore, you've tried to say "fuck you" 3
times now
and you still can't get it
<RushMore> twice
<RushMore> the seconds was a repeat of the first
<Diablo1399> whatever, you're still retarded
<RushMore> fukc you
#62981 [ + | - ] 700
<DarkMistress> I'm so goth that when I was a toddler, I didn't
cry over spilled milk, I MOURNED it.
<DarkMistress> I'm so goth I have a fishnet umbrella
<open24hours> I'm so goth my wrists slash themselves.
#62922 [ + | - ] 262
<prevyet> in my search for martial arts-related channels on
Undernet I came up with 5 white supremist channels and one
martial arts channel run by a white supremist
#62907 [ + | - ] 107
<MoeFugger> shit, when i go back to my high school, i feel
like r kelly at the playground
<PhD> are you sure thats not the elementry school you
frequent?
<MoeFugger> :|
#62902 [ + | - ] 332
<MaNiAk> damnit
<MaNiAk> damnit damnit
<MaNiAk> maniak.tk is taken by some porn shit
<Psyko> lol
<Psyko> what kinda porn?
<MaNiAk> not even porn
<Andaru> German Scheisse
<MaNiAk> www.maniak.tk
<MaNiAk> yea
<MaNiAk> its lolita porn
* Psyko pretends he's not interested
<Psyko> ew lolita porn
<haylo> Thats horrible.
* haylo clicks
* Psyko clicks as well
#62899 [ + | - ] 38
*** You were kicked by Carrot_Top (1 800 c-a-ll att)
#62886 [ + | - ] 685
·Kersus· ... - ..- .--. .. -.. ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. .--
.... --- .-. . ...
·cronO· morse code?
·Sudhra· .. / -.- -. --- .-- / .-- .... .- - / -.-- --- ..-
.----. .-. . / ... .- -.-- .. -. --. / -.. --- -. - / ..- -.
-.. . .-. . ... - .. -- .- - . / .. -
·Kersus· .- -. -.. .. .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. .-- .- .-.. -.-
..-. .. ...- . .... ..- -. -.. .-. . -.. -- .. .-.. . ...
--..-- .- -. -.. .. .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. .-- .- .-.. -.- ..-.
.. ...- . .... ..- -. -.. .-. . -.. -- --- .-. .
·iggz· I can't believe you two are ACTUALLY talking in morse
code
#62882 [ + | - ] 934
<+Ivy[OmNi]> so.. you come here often? Lemme buy you a drink
<@Warlock[OmNi]> im a minor
<+Ivy[OmNi]> it's all good, I am a pedophile... I have candy
#62877 [ + | - ] 1536
<Dilbert> hahah today was so funny.... me and my sister were
watching TV, and i wanted her to change the channel so i said
"COME ON!" and she goes "Dont 'come on' me"
<Dilbert> then she didnt get why i burst out laughing
<APE_> is she hot?
<Dilbert> yes
<Dilbert> my sister is very hot
<Chris_Walken> ....................
<ragnarok2040> ............
<ragnarok2040> i hope she doesn't check bash.org
<Dilbert> why?
#62874 [ + | - ] 605
<Brandon17> I used to date a blind girl. Her name was ::...
..:.: .:::. .::.. ....: .:.::
#62851 [ + | - ] 37
<Tikola> i still dont understand how that <3 can mean great or
better or fabulous or what ever.. greater than
#62847 [ + | - ] 113
<Muzzle79> i'm so poor that we make the koolaid with water,
then steal a bunch of sugar packets from restraunts so that we
can add sugar to each glass...
<Astanix> lol
<Astanix> awesome
* Muzzle79 is serious.. i've done it before..
<Muzzle79> lol
<Jerki1989> im so poor i cant even afford to go to the
restraunt to steal sugar....
<Muzzle79> by restraunts i mean
<Muzzle79> arbys
#62842 [ + | - ] 311
<CharCoal69> am I the only one who puts special plugs in all
my outlets so that the electricity doesn't leak out?
#62814 [ + | - ] 1344
<Hawkeye> Spiderman reminds me of adolesence. One day a
teenage guy wakes up with muscles, hair in new places and the
ability to spray white sticky goo around the house.
#62810 [ + | - ] 293
<Kcred1176> you have to be circumcised to their magazine
<cmn22> ?????
<jrock81> easy killer
<Mooky13> what?
<Kcred1176> subscribed
<Kcred1176> sorry
#62799 [ + | - ] 494
<Gudrow> being a virgin at 25 is one thing, being a FEMALE
virgin at 25 is...unheard of...except in cases of gross
physical deformity
<Al> I don't know any 25 year old male virgins either
<Gudrow> you're sitting in a channel full of people who are
well on their way
<Al> Gudrow: good point
#62798 [ + | - ] 1077
<looooly> hello , I have a problem and i need help
<looooly> ?
<voidnull> ok. don't ask your question, though. 'cause we can
read your mind.
<looooly> really .so whats my problem <voidnull> ???
<voidnull> I think your problem is you're having difficulties
understanding sarcasm.
#62790 [ + | - ] 98
<FlipTopBx> damnit, last night i fell asleep with my space
heater on.
<FlipTopBx> i had three boxes of Cracker Jack, each with the
contents fused together into a sort of super-popcorn.
<nitrifik_> neat
<nitrifik_> eat them
<FlipTopBx> heh.  that would be the obvious thing to do.  i'm
not in the process of trying to "thaw" them out.
#62789 [ + | - ] 204
<Charles> I've got mock exams network
<Charles> oops .... *next week
<Neil> now theres an example of someone who spends too much
damn time on the computer.
#62781 [ + | - ] 39
*** malapropy is now known as cd-german
<_mrT> ls pr0n
<Craig> lol
#62770 [ + | - ] 294
<|SoliD|> dude, i think i'm gay
<The_Loserkid> WTF ?
<The_Loserkid> plz don't tell me how you found that out
<|SoliD|> i downloaded some gay porn just for fun
<|SoliD|> i put it on for a minute or two, just to check it
out
<|SoliD|> suddenly i get a boner
<The_Loserkid> i hate you :'(
#62749 [ + | - ] 272
<MishimaYukio> Ya know, there's a thing called a "blooper",
which is where you get a blowjob while you're taking a shit.
<fluffy> ....
<Massive_Potato> ...what the hell
<MishimaYukio>  Well, I mention it because, well, if God
didn't want us to be burdened by erections on the pot, he
wouldn't have invented bloopers.
<fluffy> thats the most disgusting thing ive heard in years
<DoctorRiff> i will never feel the same way about the "tv's
funniest bloopers" show, you've ruined my life MishimaYukio
#62707 [ + | - ] 225
* choric gets annoyed with typing out bash.org into mozilla
all the time:
<choric> bashorg () { lynx -dump "www.bash.org?$1" | less; }
<rik> choric: heh. i did this one yesterday: qdb () { links
http://bash.org/\?$1 }
<martin> You lazy addicted fucks.
* martin adds it.
#62705 [ + | - ] 204
<toe2toe> the part i like is where IRAQ's going "we got
nothing"
<toe2toe> and US is going "PFFFT WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOU OUT"
<toe2toe> and then
<toe2toe> North Koreas going "CHECK OUT OUR NUKES, BUDDY"
<toe2toe> and US is going "Hey... are you iraq? no? THEN STAY
OUT OF IT"
#62695 [ + | - ] 251
<HuKKi> and what do chicks and KFC have in common?
<HuKKi> You start with the breast - then go to the thigh then
you're left with a greasy box to stick your bone in
#62685 [ + | - ] 481
<puppydo> what speed do you burn svcd at?...is 48X ok?
<_super_> 12
<_super_> never 48
<_super_> no
<_super_> never go that fast fools
<_super_> think of the reader
<_super_> give it a break
<_super_> why stress the dvd player
<_super_> trying to read at 48x
<_super_> stupid
<_super_> just slow that shit down
<_super_> just because a burner is fast is no reason to go
that fast
<_super_> it isnt that fast anyway only on the edges
<_super_> so cd has all kinds of speed on it
<_super_> fluctuates
<_super_> too mnuch
<ciscosyko> wait a minute..are u telling them if they write
the cd fast the dvd has to read it at that speed?
<_super_> yes
* ciscosyko stares at super for a minute and wanders off
#62682 [ + | - ] 142
beachbub hi
beachbub does anyone know if u can turn any image into a html
code?
BoB_JonEz no u cant
BoB_JonEz well you could i suppose
BoB_JonEz if you made a table of 1x1 cells and set each colour
individually
beachbub lol i have no idea wot dat means but thanx anyway
beachbub thanx 4 da help bye
#62681 [ + | - ] 163
<dizzyg> Sinbad + hamster + KY jelly == happy
<RubberDuck> the thing about hamsters is that the ky sticks to
the hair and to get them clean afterwards is a beech
<RubberDuck> or so i've been told
#62659 [ + | - ] 181
<Akinaga> I skipped my wedding to play Tribes
<Akinaga> comeon, it was a match for the #2 spot
<apollyon> at that point you really need to rethink why you're
alive
<merc> or just dump the bitch =)
#62645 [ + | - ] 960
<Killrbyte> !googlepop "anal sex";"oral sex"
<migas> - "anal sex" is more popular than "oral sex" (2220000>
1360000
<Video`> NO WAY
<Video`> FUCK THAT SHIT
<Killrbyte> Video`: Exactly.
#62632 [ + | - ] 953
<prence> oh fuck oh fuck man
<prence> my mom got this new canon digital camera today and
they are asleep so i took a picture of my cock and i can't
figure out how to delete it
<prence> fuck what the hell do i do?!
#62622 [ + | - ] 866
<KBC> "Welcome to America. You can easily find someone to
shoot you to put you out of your misery by screaming NIGGER
anywhere if you're white"
<Goonigoogoo > and if you're black?
<KBC> scream out "I'M BLACK!" and some police will shoot you
#62608 [ + | - ] 203
Rangsk: why does everyone spell it "grammar"
Rangsk: fuck
#62600 [ + | - ] 145
<rottle> i am going to write a program that clears the window
clipboard about 15 seconds after you set it. because pasting
large chunks of incriminating text into irc sucks.... not only
are you laughed at but also kick/banned
#62596 [ + | - ] 381
<joey-sleepin-workin> at work i got a email asking if the mail
server was down
<joey-sleepin-workin> wtf am i sposed to reply to that? :P
#62578 [ + | - ] 53
<Spud> Man, watching Fear Factor earlier.  Two Hot Chicks +
Horse Rectum Eating Contest = TurnOn++
<rzrshrp> *barf
<Spud> Synthetic horse rectum, of course, but still...
#62558 [ + | - ] 244
<AaronAFK> Anyone Active?
<SenorWeir> i am
<Spoon35> I think he meant sexually.
#62557 [ + | - ] 266
<LayMon> PH33r me
<themage> AAAAHHHHHHHHH!
<LayMon> woot
<LayMon> i am pheered
* LayMon (c6c2@65.119.99.99) Quit (Read error: 54 (Connection
reset by peer))
<themage> oooh, I though you said "PEER me" ... my bad
#62546 [ + | - ] 55
<crazythunder> does crucial seel virtual memory?
#62543 [ + | - ] 504
<ruca> my dads work pays for my cable modem so my mom always
says "ERIN! dont look at porn cause dads work will get in
trouble"
<ruca> im like wtf woman you cant even turn my computer on.
dont school me you ho
<ruca> she REALLY believes my dads boss is gonna go up to him
and be like "kevin, we found out your 20 year old daughter
looked at ron jeremys nads last night. explain yourself!"
#62540 [ + | - ] 300
<totalreality> Dail-up has its Pros
<syphonic> Like..?
<totalreality> like when your girlfriend finds out that you
slept with another girl so she trys to call your house to find
out whats going on or give you shit
<R^J> couldent she just knock on the front door?
<totalreality> Shit! Brb
* totalreality is away: locking the doors
#62539 [ + | - ] 278
<+Wyrd> Trahnse... will you dye your hair down there and send
me a picture?
<+Ziphy> :x
<+Trahnse> wyrd, I would do that for you if I had hair down
there ;)
<+Ziphy> My dreams just got better ^_^