hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#84328 [ + | - ] 128
<AnBolb> I know this girl who's really sweet and nice and
pretty and everything so yesterday I wrote a story about how I
threw her off a balcony for a laugh, but then I felt bad and
deleted it. True.
#84325 [ + | - ] 153
<loquacious> my sleeping pattern is stochastic, okay? go
masticate some waboflex!
#84321 [ + | - ] 176
FyreDefyre> i always take the side off my case so it doesnt
overheat
<diStriCt|sleep> really?
<diStriCt|sleep> does that work?
<FyreDefyre> yes
<diStriCt|sleep> wouldnt the stuff fall outta it?
#84317 [ + | - ] -33
<Iceblast>: would you enjoy sucking a hot girls clit if it
grew to the size of a small penis?
<Iceblast>: and if it grew erect so that the tip was right
next to her anus
<Iceblast>: just after she'd had a shit - and some was caught
in the butt hairs that she has
<Iceblast>: but remember, aside from that she's the hottest
girl in the world
<ankis>: FUCK OFF!
<Iceblast>: hahahahahahha - you know you would
#84308 [ + | - ] 221
<`Khan> My mate just called me up and says 'my mum just walked
into my room and goes for god sake open the window and stop
playing with yourself'
#84306 [ + | - ] -18
<j0ori> who's a decent shell provider?
<Nadir> your mother
<Nadir> i "telnetted" into her "ftp" last night
<Nadir> mwaha, being subtle rocks.
* Mode: (+b) *!*@vw4800.optusnet.com.au (By: j0ori) (Match:
Nadir)
* You were kicked from #hackers by Dumb (Banned)
-> -j0ori- mwaha. i must admit, she is fairly "lag free". good
thing i was using "SSH" - you can never have too much
protection from "virii" these days.
-> -j0ori- and when she reached "/root"? ohhh, that explosion
sent thousands of files to "/dev/null" as i proceeded to
"upload" 100000000000 "1 byte files made in vi"
-> -j0ori- took a fair bit of kleenex to "purge /root of the
unused files" though
-> -j0ori- oh, tell her that her 5 cents is on the fridge too
-> -j0ori- we didnt really talk much .. she was too busy
screaming
-> -j0ori- allow me to impersonate
-> -j0ori- <j0oris's mum> OHHHHHHHHH NADIR HARDER, OHHHHH YES,
MORRRRRRREEEEEEE, AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
-> -j0ori- *gasms*
-> -j0ori- i shudder at the thought.. 'twill be nice "logging
back in" under "root" tonight.
#84305 [ + | - ] 221
<boyd> mmm, he said he's now a linux whore as well as an amd
one
<saba> rofl
<saba> what a slutty combo. an OS for people who dont use
deoderant with a CPU for people who can't afford deoderant
#84297 [ + | - ] -192
<Ibuki> D: my mom looks like she's in her twenties
<Ibuki> it scares me
<Ibuki> so don't fuck my mom!!!!!!!! >_<
<Fei> cool I'll be your new step dad
<tm2> I'm gonna put that on bash.org
#84294 [ + | - ] 79
<Numloxx> hmmm, wonder if i should have chinese tonight
<Numloxx> yeah... a bit of shaved asian would feel good :)
<Numloxx> i mean.. umm... sweet and sour pork..
<Numloxx> wait.. i meant.. umm.. satay chicken and fried rice
:)
#84293 [ + | - ] 151
<lunacrow> nobody makes porn for women
<lunacrow> ever
<lunacrow> when have you ever seen any
<Destruya> Actually, one woman did.
<lunacrow> one woman
<Destruya> I can't remember the name.
<lunacrow> exactly
<lunacrow> yet women look at porn
<Destruya> http://www.royalle.com/
<lunacrow> "As you peruse my various pages, you'll not only
find my catalog of couples movies with a woman's touch, you'll
also read about my thoughts on sex, romance, eroticism and
life in general."
<lunacrow> i already know these movies will suck
<Destruya> hahahah
#84291 [ + | - ] 62
<@nanashi> Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces, while
handicapped people make handicapped faces...
<+Mara> -_-
<@Pokute> It's too bad you can't put the right emphasis on the
words with IRC
#84271 [ + | - ] 201
<NiN> fuck
<NiN> you fag
<NiN> i should sodomize you
<Lily> Nah.
<NiN> lol dude i got some girl mad
<NiN> she told me who her bf was..she asked you know him? i
said yeah i dated him...rofl
<Lily> LOL
#84206 [ + | - ] 239
<Tarkaan> I distonctly remember saying "extra hot"
<Tarkaan> damn chinese
<living2di> distonctly?
<Tarkaan> you are correct, that was a very ironic typo
<dabba> damn mongorians
#84204 [ + | - ] -21
<trempy63> is anybody else having trouble with yahoo being
slow?
<tlc2000FOR> YES
<deimon_xtr> it's not just slow, but jerk off to slow music
slow
<deimon_xtr> jerk jerk jerk
<deimon_xtr> jerk jerk jerk
<deimon_xtr> jerk your wanker
<deimon_xtr> while waiting on yahoo
<deimon_xtr> ......
#84115 [ + | - ] 272
<Zedium> Sim Life
<Zedium> Pretend to have a life
<The_Cat> dude, that's what IRC is for
#84109 [ + | - ] 69
DooD: man im living dangerously
DooD: i bought publix sushi
DooD: late at night
DooD: and now its sitting in my fridge
DooD: to be eaten tomorrow
#84108 [ + | - ] 191
<KANG> hey...shut up?
<Dinjack> Oh, wait, hold on, my pizza just came, pepperoni
with blow me.
<KANG> that sounds like quite a pizza
<Dinjack> You don't wanna know about the free breadsticks,
then
#84095 [ + | - ] 1314
*** Lara is now known as Lara|out
<jad> look at this
* jad eats Lara|out
#84086 [ + | - ] 116
<OIS> jesus is a fraud
<Staunchy> well I wouldnt buy a car off him
#84075 [ + | - ] 25
(steyrf88) i have the best joystick.. force feeback... its
grip is shaped exactly like my hand.... its a 'penis'
#84061 [ + | - ] 99
(doggie^): www.audioscrobbler.com
(doggie^): i think im addicted :|
(DaMuppet): wtf is that?
(doggie^): plugin for winamp
(doggie^): recommends music to you
(`dM`): nice
(DaMuppet): "u like jpop, the pedo police department will be
knocking on your door soon, don;t bother getting more music"
#83994 [ + | - ] 154
<migas> is the atomic weight of cobalt 58.9?
<Kurin> 58.9331
<Kurin> er
<Kurin> 58.9332
<Kurin> Or, hrm
<Kurin> http://www.yaksic.com/other.html
<ninj4_> dood, its a robot, hes not actually looking for an
answer
<Kurin> Really?  Fuck em
<Kurin> me
#83985 [ + | - ] 918
[bigya] I am Tawain
[bigya] so
[bigya] I don't english
[Ccmods] Obviously.
#83973 [ + | - ] 533
* {JPM} holds up his sugary bowl of cherrios and smiles like
he's a 15 year old girl who lost her virginty and dosent know
she's pregnant yet
#83952 [ + | - ] 449
***Wang has been kicked by Metallica (dammit, stop with the
wang jokes)
<MulletMan> but the memory remains!
#83947 [ + | - ] 215
<Horror> knock knock
<Dooper> who's there?
<Horror> Go fuck yourself
<Dooper> go fuck yourself who?
#83891 [ + | - ] 2010
@(DonoftheDead) They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards
you hear satanic messages. That's nothing, because if you play
it forwards it installs Windows.
#83882 [ + | - ] 1595
* Professor sets mode: +m
<Professor> Listen up, people.
<Professor> 1.) Religion-chat is done, since we're
degenerating into bickering.
<Professor> 2.) Goombas are traitorous members of the Mushroom
Kingdom who joined Koopa for a share of the power. It says so
in the SMB manual.
#83876 [ + | - ] 279
<bhlaab> If I could pick from any supepower, it'd to be able
to have a gun up my ass, and be able to fire it at will.
People'd never know what hit them, and if they DID know,
nobody would believe them
#83860 [ + | - ] 170
[%werejag]  people there aint no crack yet we have top warez
sciencists working on it
#83833 [ + | - ] 159
<Al> because let's face it, my dick is demonstrably real and
also far better than any concept of "god" thus far put forward
<LambChowder> but does your dick encourage love and peace
throughout the world
#83825 [ + | - ] 98
< envoy> One of the biggest reasons we change our clocks to
Daylight Saving Time (DST) is that it saves energy.
< envoy> how do they figure we save energy? lol
* Flimflam shrugs
< Flimflam> it's the USA :P
< Flimflam> they can justify anything, it seems :P
#83822 [ + | - ] 327
<m_neshue> sorry for repeating... but. does anybody know what
apps there are for testing the real size of a cdr media?
<Supachikn> A RULER
<Supachikn> AND GENERALLY ITS ABOUT 12 CENTIMETERS
#83798 [ + | - ] 280
<Saddam> wtf?
#83792 [ + | - ] 177
<Witchy> is there anyone on #wicca you actually talk to?
<Maloo> ofcourse just not on irc
<Maloo> im on irc for 1 reason, and it isnt something as
trivial as chat
#83777 [ + | - ] 390
<Macavity> I'm growing a beard. It's really itchy, growing a
beard...
<fin> Then shave.
<Macavity> But I weant a beard for I-Con.
<Macavity> And a real one, not a spirit-gummed-on fake one.
<fin> Why?
<Macavity> Just...because I do. Because it's part of the look
for a LARP character I have.
<fin> OK. Stop there. I don't want to know anymore. Goddamn.
<Macavity> BECAUSE I FUCKING FEEL LIKE GROWING A BEARD, OKAY?
<Macavity> Shiiiit....
<fin> Which part of "changing your appearance to fit in with a
LARP character" doesn't sound stupid to you?
<Maestro|OoT> LARP?
<Furry_Geek> Live Action Role Playing.
<Maestro|OoT> Oh, NO.
<fin> OK, scratch that. Which part of "playing a LARP" doesn't
sound stupid to you?
#83772 [ + | - ] 18
<GeNOc|DE> man ur making as much sense as a letter box in
africa
#83769 [ + | - ] 271
<grimrat> oh.. migod
<grimrat> I just reviewed a Usenet post of mine... I wrote
"must of"...
<grimrat> I feel faint
<grimrat> this will be associated with me for the rest of time
<grimrat> how much does it cost to change your name?
#83766 [ + | - ] 220
<clemmy> damn leetspeek ... whenever I write 'skills' I write
'skillz', even in university homework
#83760 [ + | - ] 279
<Winta> I Am Single...
<Playette69> aww poor winta
<Winta> I'm not asking for sympathy, im hyping myself up to
rob a house tonight...
<Winta> Hey, do you live near here? you seem cool..
#83756 [ + | - ] 281
<Wang_Ninja> oh boy
<Wang_Ninja> minigame
<Wang_Ninja> I have to find four 6 year old boys
<Goonigoogoo> it's a michael jackson minigame?
#83749 [ + | - ] 270
(@Gramps) Too sunny to go out today. Reflection off my head
starts fires
#83746 [ + | - ] 403
(@Hektik) once i saw my grandparents have sex and thats why i
dont eat rasins
#83742 [ + | - ] 615
<ryant09> How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a
tampon and ask him which period it came from.
#83734 [ + | - ] 339
(ohwhatwhat) hi i was wondering why my cursors moves across
the screen when i move my mouse?
#83724 [ + | - ] 319
<karl> becouse hetersexual impersonaters are in reality none
sexuals becouse they lie about there sexualidentity and there
fore dont use there true sexuality whatever that may be hence
there nothing real just bull shit talking with no truthful
axctions

<mobius> I hate to sound like your Dad's boyfriend, but what
the hell did you just say Karl?
#83705 [ + | - ] 110
<jixn> thats because u eat the crust first
<jixn> if u know what i mean
<jixn> putt from the ruff
<jixn> have gay sex etc
<Antimatter> I've never heard of either of those phrases jinx
<jixn> i made the first one up myself
#83702 [ + | - ] 242
(bovril): food escapes me
(nark): it ran away?
(nark): try killing it before you eat it sam
(bovril): its nicer fresh
#83686 [ + | - ] 307
<Splunge> ye gods, I must be bored
<Splunge> I almost visited goatse because I hadn't been in a
while and couldn't really remember how gross it was
<Splunge> thankfully, my fingers wouldn't type it
#83663 [ + | - ] 121
<Tw1zt1d> I need to do some DDR practice >;\
<Minion> WTF? I always thought DDR was Double Date Rape